Disappointment.

People disappoint you and abuse your trust. They abuse you mentally and when they do so all you can think is- why me?

You think there is something wrong with you, that it is your fault people disappoint you.

You feel like you are not worth their time, that you are nothing but a second option.

And trust me, it sucks when one day people treat you as if you actually mean something to them and then suddenly the next day they don't give a flying fuck about you. They don't care about you, you suddenly don't matter to them one bit. You get attached to them only for them to pretend as if you don't even exist the very next day.

And then this happens again. And again. And again.

It's funny how people can switch who they are in a matter of seconds.

Abandonment sucks.

Especially when the person who abandons you is someone you deeply care about, and thought they cared about you equally. But the cruel truth is they don't. They just don't. And that is why they abandon you very easily, as if you were nothing but a toy which they were tired of playing with.

Why are you the person who always cares more?

Why are you missing people who clearly are not missing you at all?

Why are you reliving the moments they don't even remember about?

And that is when you come to one sick conclusion.

You are not good enough.

You are not good enough for anyone.

You are never good enough.

And trust me, the feeling of not being good enough is drowning. It consumes your mind. It keeps killing you inside but all you can do is smile and pretend as if everything is fine.

You start thinking- Will I ever be good enough?

And everytime you ask yourself that question, a small voice inside your brain taunts you with a confident 'NO'.

It seems like no matter what you do, you will never be enough.

And that is why you stop expecting anything from anyone. Well, at least you try.

Expectations lead to disappointment and disappointment leads to the feeling of not being good enough.