"Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame." - Kaz Brekker, Six of Crows

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He woke up panting for breath, sweat dripping down his face, the dream already fading from memory as his wild eyes darted around. He placed a hand on his chest as it rose and fell in quick bursts, his heartbeat like thunder in his chest.

"Jason?" Frank asked, having been awoken.

"Go to sleep, Frank, I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, just a nightmare," Jason leaned back on his bed again, eyes searching in the dark. One vivid memory remained, a city on fire.

"Just a nightmare."

---

It was not, just a nightmare. It came back again and again until it was every night that Jason was forced awake at the ungodly hours of the night. If this was Morpheus's idea of humour, Jason wasn't seeing it.

Slowly, he pieced together the nightmare. The events leading up to the events in it were lost on Jason, nor did he much care to figure them out, but it always ended the same; New Rome on fire, and the death of all his friends while Jason could do nothing but watch.

It took a toll on him. He hadn't meant to get Percy mad at him after he punched Malfoy, but he had. He hadn't meant to leave New Rome this summer, and nor had Reyna or Frank meant to leave it without leaders. He hadn't meant for a lot of things to happen, but they did.

He hoped that leaving Hogwarts for the winter would help before that stupid wizard forced their hands and they shipped themselves to London and the Order of the Pheonix's headquarters. Grimmauld Place didn't necessarily make his nightmares worse, but they didn't get better.

He began to stay up late, falling asleep at the same hours he used to be thrown awake. He would sleep in, very un-roman like, and miss breakfast, sometimes even lunch. He was keenly aware that his friends had no doubt noticed the pattern, but they all had their own demons this time of year.

He was fine, at least compared to Nico, or Percy, or Annabeth, or Thalia. Fine, dandy, perfectly healthy. He just wanted to sleep. That was all. He was tired of the night and tired of the flames.

Gods of Olympus, he just wanted to sleep .

---

Hazel carefully walked up the stairs, carrying a tray of food, expertly dodging the Weasley twins as they rushed by. She came to the door to the room that the boys were staying in, and where Jason probably still slept.

She was worried about him. He had begun to sleep in irregular patterns, dark circles growing under his eyes. He only really came down for lunch, and according to the boys, he spent his waking hours drawing endlessly.

She knocked lightly and when she heard no reply, she opened the door, nudging the door open further with her foot. She saw him immediately, passed out on his bed, chest slowly rising and falling. She set the tray of food on his bedside table, before sitting next to him on the bed.

He stirred slightly, shifting in his half-conscious state. "Good morning," She said softly, "Mrs. Weasley made you some food because you keep on missing breakfast. She got worried."

His head turned to her, and his eyes fluttered open, "Hey Hazel," he said, reaching out to her face, brushing it slightly. She took his hand, brushing her thumb over his, and he glanced at the still warm food, sitting up.

He ate quietly, Hazel sitting next to him, and scanning the room. Nico and Will shared a bed jammed into the corner, and Leo had a small bed near the door. Percy's bed was the couch, obvious from the mess of tangled blankets and water bottles by the bed. Jason's bed was under the window in the room, and Frank also had a bed wedged into the corner.

Their trucks were piled about, and Riptide balanced precariously on the edge of the couch, a whetstone on the blankets. Hazel shook her head and used her powers to move Riptide so it wasn't so visible.

She glanced at Jason again. He had finished his food and now sat on the bed next to her, tray to his left, leaning back on his palms. His eyes were closed, dark lashes fanned out across his scarred cheeks.

"Jason?"

"Hm?"

"Why haven't you been sleeping?"

His eyes shot open and met hers "I've been sleeping," He protested.

She eyed him, taking in the fresh gauntness of his face and the bags under his eyes. They watched each other for a moment, each waiting for the other to break the silence. It was Jason who gave way first.

"I've been sleeping," he sighed, "Just not well."

That's what she had thought. "What's going on?"

"I've had this nightmare for months. Since September, since..." he didn't need to finish the sentence. "I always see the same thing. New Rome, my home, on fire and destroyed. And all of you-" he lurched forward as a sob escaped him, hands on his knees and his palms digging into his face.

"All of you dead. And I can't do anything!" He stands up, and paces "I can't fix it! I couldn't save you! I can't-'' he kicks a trunk, moving it slightly. He stands in the middle of the room, heaving for breath. She doesn't have to see him too know that he's crying "I don't want to lose anyone."

His voice is quiet now, shaking with every word. He turns and walks to her, hands shaking as he reaches out to her. She stays still, watching him. His hands ball into fists in her shirt, and he hangs his head as the sobs echo in his chest.

She gets off the bed and hugs him, hands slowly carding through his hair. He pulls back and his red eyes search her serene face, and he gives a watery smile. "I love you guys so much."

She smiles at him and plants a kiss on his forehead. He dips his head, hands resting listlessly on his folded legs. "I do not think this," she gestures widely, "will remain, Jason. We've faced worse."

"Talk to Percy," she advises him, "he's had his fair share of nightmares. He cares about you Jason, we all do. You can ask for help sometimes, you know?"

"Thank you, Hazel. You're too good for this world." She laughs, standing up, and offers her hand. He takes it and pulls himself up, wiping away the tears, and beating the dust off his sweats.

"You're a good man Jason. If we were to die, I know you wouldn't stand by. You would fight tooth and nail," she told him.

"Thank you," he said softly.

---

Percy doesn't look up as Jason approaches, but he knows his cousin heard him. He sits on the back porch, snow falling into his hair as he sharpens his sword in the dying light.

"You sharpened it yesterday," Jason says as he stands next to him. "And someone might see."

"It's fine, Jason. And I never got to finish sharpening yesterday, because we had dinner." Jason nods, staying silent as he looks out in the snow.

"What's up?" Percy says after a moment.

Jason's stomach twists as he remembers Hazel's advice. He had told Piper too, and she had also said he needed to talk to Percy. He swallows and speaks, "I haven't been sleeping well recently."

"I noticed," Percy says, but there's none of his usual sarcasm, or even any heat.

Jason winced, "I've been having the same nightmare for months."

He tells Percy about it in a low voice, sticking to any language but English. Percy listens silently, Riptide across his knees, casting a low glare. When he's done, the tears prick at the back of his eyes but Percy remains silent.

"It's not real, Jason," is what he says first, "but that probably doesn't help." He laughs bitterly. "Here's what I would do: Send a letter to Chiron, and ask him to ask a Morpheus kid to help you out. They could probably brew something for you."

"You don't think it's showing me something to come?"

"No, I don't think it is. Dreams are tricky, but this doesn't feel like a dream that would want to tell you something. You barely remember most of it, anyways." He sits there, and he suddenly speaks again "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Perce." Percy stands.

"I know, I just...worry."

"That's a good thing."

"I'm glad."

Percy looks at him, "Get some rest, Jase. We have about an hour till dinner, so take a nap or something. See if that helps."

Jason nods but doesn't move. He gives Percy a sudden hug, craving his cousin's warmth. Percy reciprocates it, and presses his forehead to his, speaking in low Greek, to his friend, his ally, his cousin, his brother .

" Είστε ισχυρότεροι από αυτό, Τζέισον . Μην το αφήνεις να σε πληγώσει. " Jason smiles and turns to the house, his friend's words echoing in his head. Percy stood and watched him go, a sad sort of smile on his lips.