each sharp inhale of breath and every pattering step phil took seemed to ring in his ears as he skulked through the busy streets. every few seconds he felt a raindrop fall on him; he sighed as the rain would probably drench the streets that he would have to sleep on later. he pulled out his newly-cracked sunglasses and put them on, groaning at the giant, blurry line in his vision. he had cracked them a week before, on the day that he was kicked out. it wasn't entirely surprising though, as he knew how strongly his parents felt about their homophobic opinions. he honestly had simply had enough, and, more or less, just blurted it out on accident. this quickly escalated to a glass bottle being thrown at him and blue and black bruises covering his arms and stomach.

he sighed, trying to ignore the blurry vision and the rumbling in his stomach. he hadn't ate in a week, as he regretfully had no money. his parents weren't too good with money in the first place, and phil was only 15. he felt so desperate for food he hardly cared what it was. his head shot up as he had an idea. he was never a "bad kid" or stole anything, but he knew he needed food. he scanned the area, smirking once he saw a gas station. he figured it would be easy enough.

with his hood over his snapback, he tried to keep his gaze low to avoid being seen from security cameras. he sent a small wave to the worker and walked to one of the aisles, wondering what to get. he gulped and grabbed a snack sized bag of pretzels, making a mental note to plan out what he was going to get next time instead of simply grabbing pretzels. a water sat in a cooler just a few steps away, and he realized how dry his throat was. with a bag of pretzels and a water under his jacket, he tried to slip out of the store before-"hey!" the worker shouted, eyeing him suspiciously. he opened up his mouth to speak but was cut off by another voice. phil jumped, not realizing there was anyone else in the store. but there before him, a ragged brunette boy was striding up to him, resting his arm on his bony shoulder.

"why didn't you get the crackers, babe?" he asked, gesturing to his empty hands. it took phil a moment to get over his initial shock, but quickly responded with, "they don't sell them here." the boy sighed deeply, "whatever. we'll get them elsewhere," he said, dragging him out of the store. the water bottle fell out of his jacket once they were far enough away and phil stumbled around awkwardly to pick it up. once the water was back in his hands, he took no hesitation to rip into the bag of pretzels and start to devour them, nearly forgetting the boy was still there.

"a thank you would be nice," he scoffed, crossing his arms and leaning against the building. "shanks," he mumbled through a handful of pretzels. raising an eyebrow at the snack sized bag of pretzels and the water, the boy said, "is that all you got?"

phil nodded sheepishly, knowing it was pathetic. snack sized pretzels. the boy sighed, running a hand through his hair. "you hungry?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. phil hesitantly nodded, tossing the pretzels wrapper in a nearby bin. "i was about to go eat, you want to tag along?" he asked, his lips pursed in a tight line, as if not sure if he really wanted some random, amateur thief of pretzels to follow him around.

"s-sure," the ebony boy stammered, taking a minute to take in the boy in front of him. he certainly appeared older than him, though it could just be his muscle mass and cynical, "loner" attitude. "what's your name? i'm phil," he added quickly, walking in step with him. the boy took a moment to answer, making phil nervously keep his gaze on the dirty cement. he reminded himself that that dirty cement would be what he would be sleeping on later, and grimaced. after a minute phil decided to wonder if the boy was even going to answer, or if he hadn't heard him.

"i'm chris."

* * *

"good morning," dan muttered, yawning as he propped himself up on his elbows. phil yawned, nodding in response. "mhm," he hummed, burying his face in a pillow.

"so, where do we go from-" dan abruptly stopped, his face going pale. the silence making him realize something was wrong, phil tossed away the pillow and stood up. "dan?" he whispered.

"oh my god, phil. my parents, they're here," dan whispered, waving for phil to listen. indeed, the sounds of footsteps and clattering echoing throughout the kitchen. phil's eyes went wide as he stumble to put on a shirt, dan doing the same.

"um, stay in here. i'll handle this," dan said, running his hand through his hair. phil leaned close against the door, listening for dialogue.

"mum? are you ther-?" dan called out, before stopping with a scream. phil's eyes widened, his grip latching onto the nearest thing to him. he grabbed hold of a neon purple feather duster and quietly opened the door, creeping down the stairs.

"ph-" he heard his name being screamed and his secretive spy skills became even more non-existent than they already were as he ran down the stairs with a shrill battle cry. he waved the feather duster around him, causing little puffs of dust to fly up.

"what the hell are you doing?" a familiar voice said plainly, causing phil's breathe to catch in his throat.

"chris?" he choked out, shaking his head in disbelief. he dropped the feather duster, the sound of plastic colliding with the floor echoing through the silence.

"hey lester. took a while to find you after you wondered off to "rehab"," he smirked, using air quotes. he had a gun in his pocket, and a hand tightly grasped onto dan's shoulder. dan's eyes were wide with fear and it was painfully obvious of how desperately he was trying to keep calm.

"how'd you find me?" phil asked, tentatively taking a seat opposite from the two.

"i have people. well, damien has people," chris shrugged, "but you, you were hard to track down. anyone who said they saw you was found mysteriously murdered the next day. but word got out that you were with daniel howell, of all people," he chuckled, shaking his head.

"come on, lester. competition is rising and you're getting outdated, though being as you are the philip lester, you could probably wait 50 years and still be so desperately wanted for hire," he coldly laughed, leaning back against the wall.

"i got out clean," phil hissed through gritted teeth. chris scoffed, "you're anything but clean. and don't even try to say that you're out, i know for a fact you've been busy."

phil's jaw immediately clenched and his posture stiffened, not breaking eye contact with chris. "i'm not going with you."

"oh really?" chris quirked an eyebrow, pulling out his gun and holding it to the side of dan's head. dan yelped at the cold metal pushing against his skin.

"put the gun down," phil said, shooting up from his seat.

"you know that's funny, because that is exactly what i said before you shot matt," chris growled, his eyes narrowing. phil's gaze adverted to dan's, immediately making his stomach flip. sweat dripped down his forehead as he clenched his jaw, staring coldly into phil's eyes.

"that's right danny, your boy here's a cold blooded, ruthless murderer," chris whispered, his hot breath trickling on dan's neck. phil
shook his head, but couldn't seem to get any words out.

"and not just a murderer, oh no, an infamous, hired serial killer. one of the best in london, if not the," he added, shoving the gun back into his pocket. "and that jai williams of yours, his mysterious death was simply phil's handiwork."

"dan, i-i," phil stammered, his breathing growing uneven as he panicked. dan's eyebrows furrowed, as he shook off chris's hand and rose to his feet.

"you killed jai? no, i-i don't, i don't believe it!" dan shouted, his shoulders heavily rising and falling.

"dan, i, i didn't know.." phil stuttered, running his fingers through his unbrushed, messy hair.

"you killed jai!" dan hoarsely screamed, his teeth clenched and his fists balled up at his sides. chris scoffed, "well, williams wasn't exactly that great either. the reason he died was because he stole thousands of pounds worth of crack, plus the thousands he owed from all the damn heroin he bought." he said, pulling a cigarette out of his jacket pocket. "don't mind, do you?" he sniggered, pulling out a lighter and putting it between his teeth.

"that's not the whole story, fuck you!" phil yelled, clenching his fists.

"the whole story doesn't fucking matter, you're a killer! you killed jai!" dan said, tears brimming at his eyes. he blinked them away, running to the door. "go fuck yourself, phil," he whimpered, swinging closed the door behind him.

"should i apologize?" chris muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. phil's eyes narrowed and his fists clenched at his sides. with a scream, he ran at chris, pinning him up to the walk with his nails digging into his flesh.

"you sick bastard," phil growled through his clenched teeth, sinking his nails in deeper. "come on, what else could i have done?" chris grumbled, pursing his lips. "you should've stayed away!" phil screamed, releasing one of his hands from chris's shirt and using it to punch his stomach. chris's eyes widened and he gasped for breath, the another punch following it. he swung his fist into chris's jaw, a lilac bruise forming quickly.

"look lester, as much as i want you to go on and live your life all cute and simple, you and me both know i can't do that."

phil sighed, releasing chris. "will there ever be a way out?"
"spare me the sappiness," chris grumbled, rubbing his bruised jaw. "plus, you've had your chances to leave, yet you stayed. remember that." he added, grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of the fridge and walking out without another word. phil exhaled, rubbing his eyes.

"what have i done?" he bitterly muttered, following chris's actions and grabbing a bottle from the fridge. he skulked out of the house, shutting the door behind him. he wanted nothing more than to simply forget dan ever existed and to return to chris and damien. but he knew he had to do something.

"i've got to find dan."