Azumi

Available During Chapter 2:

Event 1:

Azumi: Salutations, Bisque! It is always lovely to see you in such high spirits!

What should I do? Should I invite Azumi to hang out?

Invite Azumi to hang out

See who else is around

Azumi: It would be my deepest pleasure to spend time in your company.

She watches me mix my glaze and underglaze. I make sure that we have all the proper safety precautions, like respirators and safety goggles and gloves and stuff!

Looks like Azumi and I grew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Azumi a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#106 The E-scent-ials-- A pack of essential oils and incense sticks. They bring a bit of whimsy to any room due to their fragrances.

Azumi: My word. This is a splendid gift! I am ever so gracious for your generosity.

...

Haruto: Hey, um, I know this probably sounds kinda presumptuous, but I really look up to you, like, a lot a lot. So, uh, I was wondering if you'd... teach me stuff?

Azumi: You would like me to be your tutor? I must admit, my own education is sufficient enough to properly function, but I know little of mathematics and even less of history. They are simply irrelevant for my work. My knowledge could really only be of use to you regarding Japanese and anatomy. Perhaps Sayuri could lend you her aid?

Haruto: Oh! Um, I didn't really mean school stuff! I mean, like, life stuff!

Azumi: I-I see! If it would please you, I would be honored to share some advice every now and then!

Her cheeks are rosy pink from flattery.

Azumi: Err... Lesson number one. To achieve one's goals, one must be disciplined.

Haruto: Heheh, I um... I'm kinda bad at that one.

Azumi: To the contrary, I have witnessed you tirelessly attend to your craft. It truly is no wonder that you are so extraordinarily skilled.

Haruto: Th-Thank you! Um, but like, that doesn't count! Pottery's fun.

She giggles.

Azumi: The thing one loves still takes much discipline. Our bodies are proof. Your hands, for instance.

I curiously stop what I'm doing and take my safety gloves off. I have some small calluses, patches of dead skin, and loads of dry clay under my nails.

Azumi: Although I love the circus dearly, the work is grueling. In the past, I have worked until my muscles felt as though they were screaming. In training my balance, I have fallen tens of thousands of times. But, no matter what it may be, whether it is something we are passionate about or not, forming good habits is the most important part. Habits generally take about two months to solidify, but then, they are set! And you will come to find that certain tasks you find impossible now will become a natural part of your routine.

Haruto: Yeah, but that means you have to find the motivation to do stuff for a whole two months. I can do it with pottery because it keeps me from getting bored, but it's super duper challenging otherwise.

Azumi: Ahhh, I see. In that case, it would serve you well to give yourself a specified time, and perhaps another person to be accountable to.

I think this over for a bit and make a mental note of it.

Haruto: And then, what do you do if you mess it up? Like, sometimes I tell myself I'm gonna work on homework at a certain time, but then, like, my friend wants to come over, or my parents start up a movie and I wanna watch it, and then I get to my homework super late. And sometimes even when I get to it on time, it still takes me hours and hours. And then I just feel kinda dumb.

Azumi: In those moments, it is necessary to treat yourself with compassion. You must reward your own efforts and especially consistency. Cherish yourself when you do well. However, you must also cherish yourself when you do not. Mentally tormenting yourself for failure will incite no further success. Do you understand, dear?

Haruto: I-I do. And I'll try. But it's very, very hard to say nice things to myself sometimes.

Azumi: I... am familiar with that feeling. But... that is yet another habit to build up.

Haruto: You struggle with that stuff, too?

She doesn't respond with words, merely ruffles my hair. Yuu comes in to start working on his own projects, so I watch him while he works and Azumi goes off to find Tozen.

Azumi's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with her.

Event 2:

Azumi: I have been informed that, in the long-term, mindfulness meditation can decrease gray-matter density in the amygdala... an area of the brain responsible for fear and anger. I have distaste for the fact that, despite this, I still faint from stress with relative frequency.

What should I do? Should I invite Azumi to hang out?

Invite Azumi to hang out

See who else is around

Azumi: Indeed. Part of me wonders if, perchance, that comment by Keiji was intended to bait me into failing my code. Though I would not put it past him to be merely showing off.

We talk seriously about the code game– who's definitely out, who's probably in, what the prize could be.

Looks like Azumi and I grew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Azumi a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#50 Smart Mug-- A mug that automatically regulates its own temperatures, to keep tea or coffee warm for several hours. Perfect for slow risers or workaholics.

Azumi: How lovely! Thank you dearly for considering me. You have my deepest gratitude.

...

Haruto: Ugh, I just wish I hadn't dropped out so soon. Now, out of me, Tozen, and you, you're the only one who's still in the game. I would've wanted to try and help you more.

Azumi: It is unfortunate, but my aim is true. I have faith that, should I fail, the three of us will be alright regardless. Even so, I want to secure that prize.

Haruto: So about that thing with Tozen on the first day... he offered to stay in the game, right? I'm really curious. Why did you let him quit?

Azumi: Mm! It would appear this is a sublime opportunity to share more advice. In this instance, it is that one should act according to their priorities. Tozen was worried for his own personal well-being. This challenge would have distressed him, and he made that abundantly clear to me during our argument. As an athlete, the state of my body is very important to me, as is his to him. Health is a priority, and he is a priority. I make it no great secret that I value his companionship, and, more pragmatically, our alliance. Strengthening our bond and his trust in me feels safer in the long-term, even if it makes our pursuit of the prize more difficult. I would have done the same for you, if your code had been something dreadful.

Haruto: Mom... I have a question.

Azumi: Yes, my dear?

Haruto: Well, um, back when we first split up to look for clues in the building, you were the one to grab me. It made sense for you to search with Tozen... you'd already spent a bit of time with him— andmethinksyoulikehim, but that's besides the point.

Azumi: Hold on!

Haruto: Anywhoozies, I was kinda wondering. What made you choose me, too?

She smiles and opens her mouth to answer, but then suddenly hesitates.

Haruto: What's wrong?

Azumi: I am concerned that my response may be perceived as disparaging.

Haruto: I'm guessing that means you think I'll take it badly? Don't worry. I know myself pretty well, and I know you're nice, so nothing you could say would really surprise me.

Azumi: I... well I know now that you are deeply concerned with becoming a more mature, capable individual. However, your bright, childlike optimism and friendliness are very magnetic qualities. My circus is full of children from varying backgrounds. Some are born into it. Some are orphans we take under our wings. Sometimes, unprepared parents bring their children straight to us. Recently emancipated teenagers occasionally come, as well, though that is slightly beside my point.

Haruto: Which are you?

Azumi: Hm?

Haruto: Born into it, adopted?

Azumi: Truthfully, I am unsure and unconcerned. Every adult in the circus is my parent and every contemporary is my sibling. Have you heard the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child"? We take that rather literally. I am often partially responsible for the little ones' well-beings. I would not be surprised if they considered me a mother. All this to say, I saw your kindness and yearned to protect it, nurture it. But please understand. Within a very short period of time, I adjusted from a doting perspective to one where you are my peer. You are my equal, if perhaps a smidge more inexperienced. That is why it threw me for a loop when you called me "Mom." But, well, there is your answer. Fostering people like you is a priority. It has been for years. So I worked with you, on that first day.

Haruto: I'm glad you did!

Joanie knocks on the door of the screening room and, in Aika language, asks if she can loan it, so we quickly stop our personal conversation.

Azumi's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with her.

Available During Chapter 3:

Event 3:

Azumi: It is such a relief to be able to meditate once again. My thoughts are running amok perhaps more than ever before. We are in a death game, so I suppose I cannot blame myself.

What should I do? Should I invite Azumi to hang out?

Invite Azumi to hang out

See who else is around

Azumi: You wish to show me something? Well, I've no reason to deny such an eager and earnest request!

I show her and Tozen the broccoli brownies I made for them all on my own! After that, she and I go to the track and race each other a few times.

Looks like Azumi and I grew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Azumi a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#77 Chock Full-Chalk-Block: A solid brick of Magnesium carbonate chalk, made for gymnasts to absorb sweat in their hands and feet while exercising. Turns into a powder once applied.

Azumi: My word. This is a splendid gift! I am ever so gracious for your generosity.

...

Azumi: Bisque, you have been utterly delightful today. I am always glad to be your friend, but today your alacritous nature has made me feel truly special. You have my thanks.

Haruto: Mom, you know I have literally zero clue what "alacritous" means. But but but you're super duper welcome!

Azumi: Mm... lively and enthusiastic are good synonyms. You are also unstinting— incredibly generous— and gallant— gentlemanly.

Haruto: Hehehe... Zu, you always say such nice things! It makes me feel nervous, but in a happy way! My parents are really good and they compliment me a lot, and people who like my art do, too. But out of all my actual friends, you're the most... um... heartfelt!

Azumi: Ahh, well, I suppose that is another lesson I could share... though I feel that you know this quite well already. Cherish your loved ones deeply. Never let a day go by where you do not express your affection and gratitude, for someone may need it far more than you suppose. Also... you never know if it is the last time you will see them.

She trails out after this last part, and she looks away with a distant look in her eye.

Haruto: You're missing everyone, huh? But you don't want to talk about it cause you think it'll make you look needy.

Azumi: That is not true!

I wait there in silence even though it nearly kills me. It's gotta be like a solid five minutes before she finally breaks.

Azumi: I miss everyone, of course. I have the largest family out of all of us, so my heart aches severely. Most of all, I miss my mentor. She is everything I aspire to be... though perhaps not professionally. Her specialization differs from my own. I perform contortion and balancing acts, mainly.

Haruto: Oh!!! Lemmeguesslemmeguesslemmeguess!

Lion Tamer

Clown

That One With the Scarves

Haruto: Does she tame lions?!

Azumi: Hehehe! We do not actually utilize animals for ethical reasons, but I love your enthusiasm.

Haruto: Ohhhhhhhh!

Lion Tamer

Clown

That One With the Scarves

Haruto: Is she a clown?! A lot of people are afraid of clowns but I think they're cool!

Azumi: She is not, though we have quite a few!

Haruto: Okayokay lemme guess again!

Lion Tamer

Clown

That One With the Scarves

Haruto: She's! That one! With the ceiling scarves! Twirling around!!!

She bursts into laughter despite her attempts not to, and I can't help but beam even though I'm embarrassed.

Azumi: It's called an aerialist, dear! And those "scarves" are aerial silks. But yes, that is correct. Aerialists also do trapeze and tightrope work. I do quite a bit of tightrope, but that is our only intersection. I cannot imagine the fear she must experience constantly whilst performing. There are so many moments where disaster can strike, instants where she's... soaring, with no guarantee of safety. Yet she carries herself with unassailable dignity, grace, and peace. Chuya took me under her wing when I was quite young. It was during a time when I was temporarily banned from performing. She was— and is— to me what I believe I am to you. She imparts her wisdom unto me, she gave me these hair sticks for courage, she taught me to cherish my loved ones...

Haruto: Why were you banned?

Azumi: Hmmm... I do not exactly recall. Likely, I was being rambunctious or caustic. During that break, I did try to hijack a clown car.

Haruto: Huh?! You were a troublemaker, too?! But you're so— you don't cause mischief!

Azumi: Mischief in small quantities can be endearing!

She tells me crazy stories about mischief in the circus tent. Not all of them are about her, but I'm still left baffled by it all. When Tozen asks if we want to help cook, we agree! It's super fun!

Azumi's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with her.

Event 4:

Azumi: I know that Keiji was never kind to you... but I must admit that the more I've thought, the more conflicted I feel about him. How would he and Sayuri have reacted to this conflict? Or Nari? Or Hachi? Between them and the others involved in the quarrel, mealtimes are quite lonely nowadays.

What should I do? Should I invite Azumi to hang out?

Invite Azumi to hang out

See who else is around

Azumi: Mm, indeed. I could use a distraction. You are a most pleasant variety of diversion.

I try to teach her how to play one of my favorite video games. I don't think she really understands, but that just makes it even funnier!

Would you like to give Azumi a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#100 Melo-Go-Round– An ornate music box in the shape of a carousel. Extraordinarily detailed, but reinforced to make it less fragile. Plays a melody that drowns out stressful stimuli. Very effective at soothing babies and toddlers.

Azumi: Oh my... this is exquisite. Is it truly alright for me to accept something so enchanting? I am in your debt.

...

Azumi: Has the other group staked a claim on any particular location tonight?

Haruto: They want the game room a little later, but I doubt that bothers you too much.

Azumi: Mm. I will have to vacate it then.

Haruto: We've still got a handful of hours! It's really no biggie!

Azumi: ...I was unwise.

Haruto: Hm?

Azumi: I failed to internalize something I know to be true. In this instance, you followed my own advice better than I did without even hearing it. I believe... that in times of social crisis, one should always attempt to be civil. Keeping lines of communication open is important. I care about the people on the other side of the schism, and it truly is not in my best interest to burn bridges unnecessarily. I also recommend keeping a level head because it prevents one from looking like a fool. Yet, I was impulsive. Oftentimes, I attempt to keep a certain amount of composure in most situations... though the vasovagal syncope thwarts that at times.

Haruto: The what?

Azumi: My stress-fainting. Regardless. I made an ass of myself with my own words.

Haruto: Then why don't you apologize? Most people are pretty understanding. Aside from, like, Wakumi. She's scary. Funny! But scary.

Azumi: That is just the issue. I am regretful for the way I expressed my feelings, but I cannot force myself to take the words back. This whole situation makes me angry. I understand, deep down, that this is not my battle to fight... it ideally should have stayed between the dancers, Fujiko, and Chimon. But– well, it is everyone's problem now.

Haruto: Why does it bother you so much?

Azumi: I have a myriad of reasons. First: as per Yuu's reasoning, having an awareness that Fujiko, Joanie, and Chimon willingly hid important information from the rest of us frightens me. I ought not to be so cold, but Joanie and Fujiko technically owe Chimon now, and he could take advantage of that at any point. I do not believe that he is a bad person, but he did accuse me of Keiji's murder. Second: Fujiko should have attempted to communicate with the dancers before making that choice. Based on Kana's reaction, she would have much preferred an honest conversation as opposed to being so utterly blindsided. Third, and this is largely related: hypnosis may "fix" problems, but it does not allow for introspection toward the root of them. Joanie has not addressed the personal reasons that made her despise Aika so, and clearly, Fujiko has not fully worked through why her feelings for Kana were causing her so much pain. My deepest desire for them is that they would be able to truly and boldly face their obstacles, so that they can bloom into the most fulfilled and happy versions of themselves. This feels like a bandage fix, at best. In an untimely manner, these issues will crop up again.

Haruto: Well, maybe they're not ready for that yet. Maybe they don't think they can do it, and maybe they're really scared! I'm really scared most of my life, and I spend so much of my time thinking about how to deal with my forgetfulness and clumsiness and stuff but a lot of stuff I try doesn't work out too well. It makes me think, well, maybe I can't do it!

Azumi: How could–?!

She takes a deep breath. Her expression is kinda heartbroken, and it hurts because it reminds me of my parents.

Azumi: You, and Fujiko, and Joanie, you are all astonishingly gifted individuals. Within such a short lifespan, you have all climbed to the top of your respective fields and have arguably changed the world. Why would you possibly believe that you are not capable of anything you desire?! ...Excuse me. I am acting fervid, so I must retreat to compose myself.

She stands up and rushes out of the room, somehow still graceful like a swan. She pops her head in once again just to remind me that she loves me, and then she leaves. I decide to give her space because I am the least helpful human being when it comes to calming people down, so I keep playing my game for... oh shit, I keep playing for four hours. Freaking time blindness!

Azumi's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with her.

Event 5:

Azumi: Greetings, Bisque! I have noticed that you have been toiling away at your pottery wheel, day in and day out. I praise your consistency, but remember to take a break now and then to prevent burnout!

What should I do? Should I invite Azumi to hang out?

Invite Azumi to hang out

See who else is around

Azumi: Wonderful! I would love to join you. In fact, I have an idea!

She shows me a lot of exercises she does to train her balance, saying that if I keep it up, maybe I'll gradually become more coordinated! I do hilariously bad, but surprisingly, I don't get sad about it at all!

Would you like to give Azumi a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#78 Miniature Zen Garden– Both a mindful practice and an aesthetic delight, this is a small replica of Japanese dry gardens, a landscape with carefully arranged gravel, stones, and plants.

Azumi: Oh my... this is exquisite. Is it truly alright for me to accept something so enchanting? I am in your debt.

...

Haruto: Zu, do you have any more advice for me? Just, um, I wanna learn as much as I can, and you've always been so super duper smart and nice to me.

Azumi: Bisque, in all honesty, I feel as though I have already imparted many of my opinions unto you. Quite frankly, I do not know if there is much left to share.

She hums as we continue the balance stretch. I wobble and fall, quickly getting back to it.

Haruto: U-Um...

Azumi: You are nervous. Why does your tone waver so?

Haruto: I don't wanna stick my nose in where it shouldn't be, but I really just have to ask. When we were going over No-Go codes, you said you failed because it was the anniversary of a traumatic incident...

She herself wobbles, but she steadies herself.

Azumi: My. You are far more astute than you give yourself credit for.

Haruto: No... I was just worried about you, so I didn't forget.

Azumi: You need not trouble yourself. I am far out of its reach now, so I feel no need to dwell on it.

Haruto: You're doing it again!

Azumi: Doing what?

Haruto: Hiding something you want to talk about cause you wanna keep face! I know you by now. You're the mom friend! You're the one listening to us, helping us through panic attacks... even removing glass shards from my skin. And you're the zen one. So you feel like talking about the scary stuff would be bad.

Azumi: ...One last piece of advice. Sometimes, reticence is necessary. Or rather, sometimes, it is best not to speak every thought.

Haruto: You told me to cherish my loved ones, and to act according to my priorities. Communication is a priority to me, and I love you, and I want to listen to you! Please!

She sighs wistfully.

Azumi: I wish Fujiko would stop trying to cook. I have hid this as best I can, but I am frightened of fire.

Haruto: Me too!

Azumi: When I was little, I had my very first performance. Of course, I'd practiced in front of my family countless times, but the audience was massive. It terrified me, but I figured, "the show must go on," and so I made my attempt. It went well, at first, but then I... was suddenly waking up, and the audience was evacuating, and everything was ablaze. There was... a lot of screaming. My senses were overwhelmed. I was resistant to perform again, for a long while. During that time, Chuya taught me meditation, seeking to ease my anxieties. At one point, I asked to perform again, and was denied... hence the clown car incident... but I soon realized the reason. Nobody ever told me this, but I overheard. Apparently...

She suddenly trembles with rage.

Azumi: My family has had to bribe exploitative journalists seeking to prey upon my accident for years. So much money that could have gone to raising salaries or opening new acts was flushed away so that they could protect a child. This should never have occurred. Knowing this, I did everything I could to be successful. I worked tirelessly to temper my fears and become a more mindful person. I practiced my acts constantly. Thanks to the media not getting their grubby hands on my story, by the time I was ten and allowed in the public eye, I was seen as a prodigy. Even so... at what cost? My family refuses to even tell me exactly what happened. Because they are always protecting me. And so, my advice. Reticence is necessary. I hold my tongue because I refuse to burden anyone with things I can handle on my own.

Haruto: Azumi... you're never a burden. Thank you for telling me. I used to be really bad at keeping secrets, but I'm so much better now, so I pinky swear that I'll be... reticent! But also... our friends are always here for you, if you need it!

Azumi: You are a very good person, Haruto Gima.

We link pinkies and then I hug her. She has always been so amazing to me, and I'm thrilled by the chance to be just as good to her. For as much time as I might have left, I wanna be like her and follow her advice. Azumi is, and will always be, a true friend to me.