Keiji:

Event 1:

Keiji: Why did you ring my doorbell?

What should I do? Should I invite Keiji to hang out?

Invite Keiji to hang out

See who else is around

Keiji: Uh... fine? I'm required to interact with at least one person in order to access this simulation, so I suppose you'll do. But I'm going to continue studying. You can hang out in here and not bother me or whatever.

We spend time reading in Keiji's room. I don't even know if this counts. Also, he has a truly immense stack of books in here. I think he could drown in them.

Looks like Keiji and I grew a little closer today... I think?

Would you like to give Keiji a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#70 Last Lectures— A tape recorder full of lectures by famous intellectual figures. Each lecture is the final one given before the speaker died. Conspiracy floats around in regards to how this tape only contains last lectures.

Keiji: This simulation even has something this valuable?! That's insane! Simply fascinating. I must examine it thoroughly.

...

Keiji: ...

Yuu: ...

Agh just kill me now.

Yuu: Um...

Keiji: Fine. So. Why exactly are you choosing to interact with me? I'm not the type of person anyone should want as a friend.

Yuu: Look, I don't trust any of this shit. Everyone checked the contract like nuts, so nothing's glaringly wrong. But I still don't know anyone here. I don't want to wind up trusting someone only to have them backstab me. And you're not a nice person, but you're honest about that. You'll say awful shit to my face instead of behind my back. You're the devil I know.

Keiji: Hmph. Your reasoning is valid but I hope you know that the only reason I'm letting this happen is because I need to.

Yuu: What's all this studying for anyway? Oh, uh— and I mean that with absolutely zero judgment.

Keiji: Did you not hear what I said during those inane ice breakers?

Yuu: Not gonna lie, I totally zoned out. I was thinking too much about what I was gonna say and how to not make a fool of myself.

Keiji: It didn't help. Your voice cracked like three times.

I can't help but laugh. He glares.

Keiji: What's funny?

Yuu: You really do say every thought in your head, huh? Like, no filter whatsoever.

He leans back and gives me a hard to read look. Makes me sweat. He keeps glaring. I laugh a bit. What is he...?

Keiji: You laugh when you're nervous. Which means you must be nervous way more often than I thought. That's kinda pathetic.

I force myself not to start giggling.

Yuu: Um, you never answered my question?

Keiji: I'm the Ultimate Trivia Champion. I've made five appearances in quiz shows and I intend to continue competing long into the future. Hence, I need to be well-read in a vast myriad of subjects, including those not taught in school. This simulation provides an incredible opportunity— up to six times more studying.

Yuu: Isn't that cheating?

Keiji: If simulations can be used for the benefit of a bunch of random teenagers, I'm sure this technology is probably more wide-spread than we thought. Hell, for all we know, this may even be commonplace for prep in the game show industry.

Yuu: Have any of them ever gone poorly?

Keiji: Who the hell are you?

Yuu: Um... Yuu Bando, Ultimate—

Keiji: Shoemaker, I know. I meant, who the hell are you to talk to me, moron?

Yuu: Look, I don't consider myself very good at talking to people. But what I am is "damn good at my craft." I bet I'm as good at what I do as you are at trivia. You're not above me.

He looks me up and down with a light sneer on his face. Don't flinch. Stand your ground. You ARE worthy of respect.

Keiji: Well. To answer your question, no. They've all gone perfectly. I get shit done.

His smirk is the cockiest thing I've ever seen.

Yuu: Your parents must be proud. I know mine would be.

Keiji: What, are they not proud of you? You work in a family business; I'd be questioning why I was even born if I were you.

Yuu: That's not what I meant.

And I'm sure he knows it, too.

Keiji: My father is a professor of physics and my mother is an editor for a neuroscience journal. They're incomparable.

Yuu: Sounds like you really admire them.

Though, even the most glowing praise sounds sharp and impatient the way he says it.

Keiji: Leave now. You've distracted me long enough and I'm sure we've filled our quota for interaction.

Whatever. I head back home to the real world to make some shoes.

Keiji's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him.

Event 2:

Keiji: You can't use the game room. We're fucking busy here.

What should I do? Should I invite Keiji to hang out?

Invite Keiji to hang out

See who else is around

Keiji: Oh? You wanted me and not the room? That's fucking hilarious. Well still, you're gonna have to wait. I need to finish annihilating Kana in Catan.

I watch an initially fierce battle become a gruesome slaughter. Their mutual trash talk turns so terrifying that I have to keep it from becoming an actual fight. What a troublesome pair.

Looks like Keiji and I grew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Keiji a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#40 Millenium Prize Problems— These seven important mathematical problems were posted by the Clay Mathematics Institute, with a reward of one million dollars for each one solved.

Keiji: Wow. I must admit that this was a beyond exceptional choice for me. I'll definitely be getting a good amount of use out of this.

...

Keiji: I like how competitive she is. That was fun.

Yuu: Dude, she almost punched you in the face!

Keiji: That's normal. Everyone's breathtakingly envious of how intelligent I am.

This guy can't be real.

Keiji: Though, I hope eventually she'll become a real challenge.

I take a deep breath, trying to figure out how to talk to him, and start coughing.

Yuu: Oh my God, you wear so much cologne that you could kill a man with it.

Oh crap, I blurted something out without thinking again! But before I can even try apologizing, he pipes in.

Keiji: Wait. You can't be serious?

Yuu: Uh— um— Well, sort of? I wasn't trying to say it so bluntly. That was an accident. But, it's— it's a lot, yeah.

He scrutinizes my face. Why does everyone always look at me so close? It's uncomfortable.

Keiji: Hell. So when Kana said she could vomit at the smell of me, she wasn't just trash talking?

Dang! I missed that! That's a crazy thing to just say to someone!

Keiji: Well, crap. I don't care about bothering you nincompoops, but that probably comes across as blatantly unprofessional. See, this is everyone's problem. I've been wearing this for nearly a year, and only today has anyone brought it to my attention. People care too much about others' feelings and it gets in the way.

Yuu: Um, yeah, that's kind of true. But I feel like there's a difference between trying to inform someone and blatantly saying shit to try and hurt them.

Keiji: I don't need a fucking lecture on etiquette, princess. Apparently, what I need is a shower. Damn it. If my hyposmia is getting worse, I might need to set up an appointment with my ENT.

Yuu: Wait. I don't know that word, but I'm assuming that means you can't smell very well? Are you okay? Did some sort of sickness cause it?

Keiji: Pft. Your concern is precious.

He rolls his eyes while saying it, and the derision in his tone nearly makes me jump.

Keiji: Relax. I was born with it. And it's Type II, which means I don't suffer from any somatic nervous system abnormalities. It's obnoxious to deal with, but it's not a sign that I'm secretly dying or something cliche like that. Though, going to the doctor is always annoying. One of my parents will find the time, but I'd prefer not to bother them.

Yuu: It's not a bother. It's a parent's duty to take care of their kids. I've actually always kind of liked getting check-ups. It's nice and sterile in there, and I like knowing there's nothing going haywire with my body.

Keiji: Fascinating. You seemed like the sort who'd be squeamish around blood, but I guess I got it wrong.

Yuu: Certain medical things... bug me. But for the most part, it's no trouble. And after an appointment, my parents would let me buy something nice like a cu— a fashionable shirt.

Keiji: Hmph. Buying your cooperation, no doubt.

Yuu: That's cynical.

Keiji: You seem to care a shocking amount about your appearance. It's incorrigible.

Yuu: I'm guessing that's an insult? I just like looking put-together. Actually, you're the same way.

Keiji: I am not!

Yuu: Sure you are. You dress like a prep and wear your hair just so, and I've never seen you look any different.

Keiji: Agh! Shut up, you imbecile! Why are you even like this?! Are you that socially incompetent?!

Yuu: What did I do? I really don't know what I did.

Keiji: I'm nothing like that walking blonde stereotype! Her talent is useless and her makeup bag has more in it than her brain does!

Yuu: Fujiko? You're hung up on her just... not having the same priorities as you? Look, I can't say for sure whether she's really as trustworthy as she acts, but I'm certain that her talent isn't useless. Makeup can help people feel more confident and happy with themselves. Same for having a style that they love.

Keiji: Then those people are shallow.

Yuu: Or maybe those people have been bullied by asshats like you! Ever consider that?!

Keiji: Out. Now.

Yuu: Fine! You're such a goddamn hypocrite, you know that?

Just to spite him— even though he can't even see me— I spend time with Fujiko in the beautician's. We style outfits together.

Keiji's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him.

Event 3:

Keiji: Studying in here? Didn't you say that was cheating?

What should I do? Do I really want to invite Keiji to hang out?

Ugh, yeah, he'd be helpful here.

Nah, I'll manage fine without him.

Keiji: Ha. Isotopes? Buckle the fuck up, because, by the time I run out of things to say, you'll know more about isotopes than any of those other losers at your school— including your teacher.

He talks for a truly brain-melting amount of time. But I take notes diligently. Attention to detail is my pride, after all, and I won't be caught dead slacking.

Looks like Keiji and I got a little closer??? He's so weird.

Would you like to give Keiji a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

...

Yuu: You're impossible, you know that?

Keiji: No shit, Sherlock.

Yuu: I never know what will set you off. You'll help me study for hours with a smug look on your face, but me pointing out your sense of style made you pissy.

Keiji: I hadn't been angry for a while and needed to be.

He gives a half-hearted shrug as if that makes total sense.

Yuu: Damn, are you like Wakumi?

Keiji: Stop fucking comparing me to these dumbass paperweights.

Huh. Weird insult.

Yuu: Look, I just meant that she seems to really, sincerely enjoy being mad. She invents reasons to be pissy at someone out of thin air.

Keiji: Enjoying it is a strong word for me. It can be cathartic sometimes, and it makes me feel powerful. But occasionally you just have to ruin someone's day so no one will get too chummy with you. Can't have anyone thinking I'm going soft, or else I'd be overrun with idiots asking for favors or asking intrusive questions all day. The only thing lower on my list of priorities than friendship is romance.

Yuu: So you do invent reasons to be pissy at someone.

Keiji: I swear to God, stop pretending like Wakumi and I have a thing in common. I don't invent reasons. People are fucking stupid. I just sometimes make a bigger deal out of it than the situation warrants.

Yuu: It's interesting. It's like you treat being an asshole like some sort of obligation.

Keiji: You're looking into this more than I thought you would. That's kind of annoying.

Yuu: Attention to detail is my pride.

He leans back a little and squints. I can't tell whether he's angry or something else entirely.

Keiji: If you're so observant, how about this? You've been in my room here for a few hours. What can you figure out about me based on it?

Yuu: Is this a game?

He smirks.

Keiji: It's a challenge.

Yuu: Well, I'll rise to it, but it's a little unfair; I haven't seen your closet.

Keiji: Why would you need to—?

Yuu: To find all the skeletons in it! Ba-dum-tish!

Keiji: Oh, fuck you.

Yuu: Seriously though, your room is fairly sparse so I need to consider it a little... First off, your books are alphabetized. I don't know whether you did it on your own or if the simulation started like that, but you've at least put effort into keeping it that way. You have a Leitner box, so you've thought about... oh, what's it called?... meta learning?

Keiji: Sure. Or metacognitive learning. Meta learning can also pertain to AI. Frankly, I'm impressed you know what any of that is.

Yuu: I didn't, but the box was mysterious so I looked it up. Also, you have a filing system for important papers, but no cards. Either you're not sentimental enough to keep them or you don't get any.

His face twitches a little.

Yuu: Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have blurted that out.

Keiji: Don't apologize for something that doesn't matter.

Yuu: Oh, wait! There was one book that seemed out of place. It was about characterization. You hadn't seemed like the creative writing sort. And you don't keep any art or music around, which initially made me think you don't like art, but you love to study pop culture so I think you respect it, at least to some degree. Does it dredge up bad feelings or something?

His whole body tenses up and he seems not to know what to say. Oh fuck, I hit something I wasn't supposed to.

Yuu: A-And, you've been to Italy, I think! Noticed a pair of shoes from a brand you can't really find in Japan!

Keiji: Yeah. I travel fairly often. For "field research." Those are the only times I—

Suddenly, a flip switches, and he scowls bitterly, and once again, I have no clue why.

Keiji: Agh, fuck this, it's a goddamn waste of time and a stupid thing for me to have suggested.

He leaves without saying goodbye. It feels like every time I talk to him, I understand him more AND less at the same time! Social interactions are not either of our high points...

Keiji's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him.

Event 4:

Keiji: Uh... hey.

What should I do? Should I invite Keiji to hang out?

Invite Keiji to hang out

See who else is around

Keiji: Man, you're really just that desperate, huh? Well, whatever. Joanie and I are watching this reality competition show. Stick around, if you want.

We watch a couple episodes and then the three of us get a quick snack before Joanie heads out. Then it's just him and me again.

Looks like Keiji and I grew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Keiji a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#8 Brainy Box— A bento box full of foods designed to increase your learning capacity. The branding is a little cheesy, but the actual cheese is high-quality.

Keiji: Wow. I must admit that this was a beyond exceptional choice for me. I'll definitely be getting a good amount of use out of this.

...

Keiji: ...

I laugh before I can remember to hide my nerves in front of him.

Yuu: Uh... I wanted to thank you. I killed that test you helped me study for.

Keiji: ...Are you... are you fucking with me?

Yuu: Why would I be fucking with you about that?

Keiji: Well then, yeah. Anyone who isn't a total moron could ace something like that with my help.

His smugness seems to have less bite than usual and he dismisses it all with a hand wave.

Yuu: Did I do something wrong? Are you mad?

Keiji: Idiot. You've seen me when I'm mad. You'd know.

Yuu: You haven't been here in a while.

Keiji: Busy.

But like. Doesn't he normally come here more when he's busy? To get more time in the day? Still, for once I manage not to blurt out something awkward.

Yuu: So... reality TV? Seems like the exact kind of thing you'd think is stupid.

Keiji: Oh, it is stupid. But I love it anyway. It's fun trying to determine what the real truth is. Because what makes it to your screen is just what makes for the most compelling narrative. That means anything from letting contestants get more drunk than they should to editing footage to make people look worse or better than they are. I especially enjoy trying to guess who wins a season based on the first couple episodes. It's like a psychological puzzle.

I think this is the first time I've seen him smile. Really smile, not his usual cocky smirk. But it's gone basically as soon as it started.

Keiji: I ought to stop wasting time on it, though.

Yuu: Why? It's not a waste if you enjoy it.

Keiji: Enjoyment isn't a priority. And besides, I enjoy studying just fine. That should be enough.

Yuu: You shouldn't invent a reason to give up something you care about.

I take a deep breath. Am I really about to admit this?

Yuu: I... really loved soccer, growing up. Still do, actually. But I quit the team a couple years ago. Something happened and I thought the team would bully me about it, so I cowered like I always do. I regret it.

Keiji: You don't get it! Every minute I spend on shows, I waste a minute of learning that could've let me surpass someone. I can't fall behind. I can't.

His fists tremble.

Yuu: You... you won't. You're so far ahead of everyone already. I get being under a lot of pressure. I feel like I have to be good enough at everything so nobody will ever make fun of me. My parents tried to help me be well-rounded, and yet I didn't manage to avoid becoming an outcast... Whoops, that's unhelpful. The point is, you already know you're an academic badass. Don't sacrifice this hobby; for all the many reasons someone could judge you, it's not gonna be for your brains.

Keiji: No, no, no! It's not about judgment, I couldn't care less about my peers! It's— It's!

He takes a few breaths and stops shaking. Only then do I realize that I was shaking, too.

Keiji: Why the fuck am I doing this? I'm giving you and Joanie so many opportunities to know personal shit about me and I don't understand. I even made up a game to see if you'd figure stuff out, and then, lo and behold, you figured stuff out and it made me uncomfortable as hell.

Oh. When he says it like that...

Yuu: You're... trying to trust someone.

Keiji: Oh, God, is that what this is? That's disgusting. Why now, of all times?

Yuu: When else? We're in a simulation that Hibiki said is supposed to be therapeutic. None of us can interfere with your life or tell anyone you've "gone soft." Keiji, whatever it is you're trying to escape from by closing yourself off... you're free from it right now. All of the time you spend h-hating yourself for not being able to connect with someone and the pain you blame others for it... it's dimmer here.

I immediately know that that was a lot of damn projecting. He stares at me, breathing hard, and then ejects from the simulation.

Keiji's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him.

Event 5:

Keiji: S-Sup, Yuu? ...Ew, that feels so wrong.

What should I do? Should I invite Keiji to hang out?

Invite Keiji to hang out

See who else is around

Keiji: Do you want to play soccer...? Ugh, nope. I tried.

We play a soccer video game, which gets his point across without being weird and mushy.

Looks like Keiji and I grew a little closer today!

Would you like to give Keiji a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#95 Espionage Irises— A pair of contacts that allow the reader to see any invisible ink, regardless of the type. Used in spy work.

Keiji: This simulation even has something this valuable?! That's insane! Simply fascinating. I must examine it thoroughly.

...

Yuu: You know, my dad thinks video games are cool, but he can't easily play any cause he's an amputee and most consoles aren't really meant for one hand. So sometimes one of us will play for him. He always does really silly voices for the characters. I think he'd be a good streamer. And then when we finish a game, he always takes us out for lunch to talk about the story. Hey! Would you want—

Keiji: Would you STOP bringing up parents, you needy freak?!

The air hangs heavy for a minute.

Keiji: Shit. Didn't mean to do that.

Yuu: Are you okay? That's not the sort of thing that comes out of nowhere.

Keiji: Ugh, I didn't want this to come up. Look. Before I say anything about that, I want to make one thing clear. All of the awful, disgusting things I've ever said and done are completely my fault and completely my choice. I always knew they were the wrong things to do and I fought against my conscience until it understood what I was asking from it and it made itself tiny. So me being a little fucking sad doesn't excuse any of it and if you pity me I'm gonna murder you.

Yuu: Trust me, I hate being pitied, too. And remember? I despise bullies. I'd never justify you for it.

I give him a chummy little punch on the shoulder, which he smiles at a bit. When he speaks again, his words are slow, as if begrudging.

Keiji: Recently I realized that my parents are emotionally neglectful. When you mentioned me traveling, I almost said that my trips are the only times I ever feel close to them, and then it clicked that that's not how it's supposed to work. My parents don't spend any time with me. We used to watch TV together sometimes, but that stopped at some point. They've only ever praised me for acing school or game shows. And they've always cautioned against me making friends or having crushes, because they think personal relationships will distract me from my studies. I don't think they've touched me in years. I always just brushed it off as me being needy if I wanted any of that. They want greatness out of me. So I gave up on goodness to pursue greatness even more. But people like Haruto and Fujiko are already becoming big deals in their field and they're... infuriatingly good, so obviously that was a stupid false dichotomy I made up as a kid. And I don't... I don't know if I can turn myself good again. Even when I try to be civil with people, I wind up doing shit like calling them a freak.

Yuu: I don't think I'm very good, either. I'm really judgey and I make a lot of unkind assumptions about people. Y'know, I thought nobody here would want to hang around me... and that if they did, they had ulterior motives

Keiji: How do we fix us, man? There are people like Joanie who really try to have faith in shitheads like us, and I don't want to hurt her more than I already have.

I think about it as hard as I can.

Yuu: Observe and amend. Goodness as field research. We're good at research, so it's like using our strengths to fix our weaknesses. Watch other people. Listen to them. And if we realize something we said or thought or did is wrong, admit that. I'm not very good at holding my tongue. But I'm good at holding myself accountable.

Keiji: ...

Yuu: ...

Keiji: Bear with me. Aside from with Joanie, I haven't done this in almost a decade. Yuu... I'm sorry. I called you stupid in more ways than I can count. I called you pathetic. I called you a freak. None of my bullshit was ever because you're any of those things. In truth, you're a fun person to be around.

Okay. Time to... reward vulnerability with vulnerability. Cautiously, checking if it's fine, I give him a loose hug. He pats me on the shoulder awkwardly.

Yuu: Thanks, man. For the apology and for dealing with me.

Keiji: This feels so wrong. I feel so clingy.

Yuu: I know. Me too. But let's... get used to this. Together.

I pull back and we give each other a firm handshake as a promise. Neither of us have said it yet, but we don't have to. Somehow, Keiji and I became true friends.