Content Warning: Heavily discusses fo*d, w**ght, and mild, mild discussion of e*t*ng disorders.

Tozen

Available during Chapter 1:

Event 1:

Tozen: We're being told that we'll be trapped here until we murder someone, but frankly, I'm skeptical. I'm scheduling meals for the next seven days. If it turns out we're here longer, I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

What should I do? Should I invite Tozen to hang out?

Invite Tozen to hang out

See who else is around

Tozen: It would be my pleasure! Would you want to help me out with this meal schedule? I can send ideas your way and you can tell me if they sound good.

I frantically agree to all of the mouth-watering dishes that he suggests. My goodness, at least we don't have to worry about not having proper meals.

Looks like Tozen and I drew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Tozen a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#8 Brainy Box— A bento box full of foods designed to increase your learning capacity. The branding is a little cheesy, but the actual cheese is high-quality.

Tozen: Ah, thanks! It looks really tasty! Probably pretty easy to guess the sorts of things that make me happy, huh? Regardless, I appreciate the thought.

...

Azumi: If you would not mind... could you do me the favor of describing your talent a bit more?

Tozen: Sure! As a nutritionist, it's my job to assess clients' dietary needs and provide them with advice and recipes. For example, as an acrobat, you benefit from lean proteins and a lot of Vitamin C. Obviously, we can't be neglecting anything else, but those two are especially important for muscle and flexibility. And, since you apparently have a habit of fainting from stress, it's important for you to eat salty foods afterward to compensate for the dip in your blood pressure. It's all about accommodating for what your body needs— listening to what it's telling you and making adjustments accordingly.

Azumi: I see! That's rather intriguing! They have chefs at my circus who follow very similar roles! Sometimes, I do sneak off and eat something from the food stands around, though— and those can hardly be called healthy.

He gives a hearty chuckle. Ah, that is a nice laugh.

Tozen: That's totally okay. I'm not one to advocate depriving yourself of anything. If you restrict yourself too much, you're inclined to overindulge after not too long. It's about balance.

Azumi: Ah! Balance, you say? Balance is one of the virtues I most value!

Tozen: Hey! You get it, then! Willpower is finite— and, in my case, pretty low. So it's really important to understand how to take care of yourself, body and mind. Sometimes, a sweet is just what you need to get yourself in a good mood, especially when celebrating. What's your favorite dessert, Azumi?

I giggle at the thought of it, and my reaction makes him laugh yet again.

Azumi: I adore funnel cake. It's so crispy and warm and comforting. It makes me feel like I am home!

Tozen: I'll be sure to keep that in mind, then.

Azumi: That is remarkably kind of you... I have not known you long, but it is exceptionally apparent that you are a very good-hearted individual.

Tozen: Th-Thank you! I'm happy that you feel that way. Honestly, I just wish I could do more. I would want to analyze everyone's needs and make food accordingly, but I can't very well make forty-eight meals a day.

Azumi: Oh, certainly not! Since it is all about balance, you must also not spread yourself too thin; you need to tend to your own needs, so you mustn't spend all your time in the kitchen. Perhaps you could focus on one of us a day! For example, you might one day choose to center our meals around Haruto's needs, and the next Chimon's, et cetera.

Tozen: Well, I hope we're not in here long enough for that to matter much, but it's not a bad recommendation. It might take me a while to figure out exactly what everyone prioritizes and if anyone has physical maladies to attend to, but I swear to do my best for everyone!

Azumi: I pledge that, as well!

Tozen: Oh, gosh, look at how late it's getting. It's probably about time I start making dinner. You can feel free to join me again, if you'd like, but if you wanna get to know some more people, I can take it from here!

As much as I would love to help him, I do feel like perhaps I should explore a bit more— explore the area and the other participants. So I bid him farewell and head off.

Tozen's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him.

Available During Chapter 2:

Event 2

Tozen: It feels... different without Hachi and Nari around. Hachi had this soft, soothing aura about her, even if she was flighty. And Nari had this dark mystery and elegance. We didn't know them long, but our group dynamics are already being forced to shift.

What should I do? Should I invite Tozen to hang out?

Invite Tozen to hang out

See who else is around

Tozen: That would be nice. I know it's not the most exciting activity, but do you want to clean with me? Everyone appreciates a tidy environment.

We dust and disinfect the game room to the best of our ability.

Looks like Tozen and I drew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Tozen a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#8 Dango-go-go— Ikinari Dango enriched with nutrients so that you can always feel on the top of your game, even when you're eating sweets!

Tozen: Ah, thanks! It looks really tasty! Probably pretty easy to guess the sorts of things that make me happy, huh? Regardless, I appreciate the thought.

...

Tozen: They have some basic medical equipment in the infirmary, right? Maybe I should give myself a really bare-bones physical... like, blood pressure, blood sugar, pulse, height, weight, measurements, that sort of thing.

Azumi: When was your most recent one?

Tozen: Umm... close to eight-ish months ago, at this point. I should probably check much more regularly, but I always get pretty nervous about it. It's stupid, cause I know I'm taking care of myself as best as I can, but hey. What can you do, right?

Azumi: I feel as though it is a common trait to experience anxiety related to medical matters. If it makes you feel any comfort, I am of a similar nature.

He wavers a bit, as though considering something and stopping himself in his tracks.

Azumi: Tozen... if it would make you feel more secure, I could take a physical with you. Nothing is quite as scary when you are facing it with someone else, right?

Tozen: You really don't have to do that, Azumi. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable in the process.

Azumi: I've come to determine that discomfort is a catalyst for growth.

Tozen: I mean, you're absolutely right about that, from my experience, but that doesn't mean that you have to throw yourself right into a troublesome situation for my sake. I just don't wanna be a bother.

Azumi: Oh, it's hardly a bother! Not troublesome in the slightest. Especially since, as you said, it could only really be of benefit to me.

Tozen: Y-Yeah, but before we can measure blood sugar, we have to fast for eight hours... so it couldn't be now. We'd have to plan in advance, and it's just way more trouble than it's worth.

Azumi: That is alright! We can do this tomorrow morning.

Tozen: I mean-- I mean!

Azumi: Do you truly want to avoid bothering me, or are you attempting to prevent me holding you accountable for this?

His body language shrinks and he looks up at me with guilty puppy-dog eyes.

Tozen: ...Both...

I grab his hands gently.

Azumi: You will be okay, Tozen. I happen to believe that you are incredibly strong, and we can weather this if we do it as a team.

He hesitates, but then squeezes my hands in return.

Tozen: You're too nice to me. Okay... We can do this as soon as the morning announcement rings tomorrow.

We meet up again in the morning, having fasted. We reassure one another throughout it all, like when he puts the blood pressure cuff on and when we check our blood sugar results. I check my height and weight, and then...

Tozen: Oh, shit. I think I may have left something going in the oven. Can you go take that out? I'll be done with this in a moment.

Azumi: Ah! I can take care of that! I will return shortly.

When I arrive once again in the infirmary, he seems as though every burden on his shoulders has evaporated.

Tozen: Azumi... thank you. I don't know if I would've been able to do it on my own. I would've talked myself out of it.

Azumi: I am very pleased that I could be of assistance to you, as you always are to us!

Tozen: And with that, it's breakfast time! C'mon!

Tozen's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him.

Available During Chapter 3:

Event 3:

Tozen: Agh... all this talk about hypnosis fixing problems...I just can't understand. Pain is so important to personal growth. You get it, right, Azumi?

What should I do? Should I invite Tozen to hang out?

Invite Tozen to hang out

See who else is around

Tozen: You know, I'm really glad we're on the same side here. It's rough enough having Bisque be neutral. I'd hate to be fighting with you or Ren.

We talk idly as he makes me an air-fried funnel cake. Even the desserts are healthy with Tozen. Well. Healthier, at least...

Looks like Tozen and I drew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Tozen a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#109 Electric Scrub Brush Kit-- An electric scrub brush with multiple attachable heads to truly get the best clean. Neat freaks everywhere agree that it "gets the tough stains out," and is incredibly fun to use.

Tozen: Hey, thanks so much! This is just my type of gift! Honestly, I can hardly imagine you getting it more spot-on.

...

Azumi: You may share this funnel cake, if you'd like! It is scrumptious, but I doubt I can finish it on my own. By the way, thank you very much for remembering that it's my favorite.

Tozen: No, no, that's okay. I try to keep it to two desserts a week. Besides, I had way more ice cream with you and Kana than I should've the other day. I was... frustrated. I'm still frustrated. I know you understand.

Azumi: Indeed. I may not know what exactly has caused you suffering in your life, but you have told me that you constantly work to better yourself, and I am much the same. The world promises easy fixes, but easy fixes rid us of the discomfort we need to grow.

Tozen: Y-Yeah...

Azumi: I know you said that you don't easily talk about what troubles you, but I would be happy to listen, if you are ever in the right state of mind.

He takes a trembling breath.

Tozen: I... Well, my parents both grew up pretty poor, but they were also that sort of "pick yourself up from the bootstraps and get to work'' type of people, so they were able to wiggle themselves into a pretty good position through tenacity. But it was sort of like they didn't... realize that they weren't poor anymore. They maintained a lot of those habits, especially habits regarding food. Do you know about that sort of thing?

Eat Less

Eat Slowly

Eat More

Azumi: Perhaps they eat slowly? Make the food last, and whatnot?

Tozen: No, that's not it. Or at least that's not what my parents do.

Eat Less

Eat Slowly

Eat More

Azumi: It would make sense if they ate less... made do with little.

Tozen: Mm, I see your logic, but it's actually pretty counterintuitive.

Eat Less

Eat Slowly

Eat More

Azumi: They eat... more?

Tozen: Yep. Even though they consciously understand that they're safe, people who grew up poor tend to eat even when they aren't hungry, because, subconsciously, they're worried about how long it will be until their next meal. So, um... they, um...

Azumi: You do not have to continue if it brings you pain.

Tozen: I do, or I never will. Anyway, they believed in the "clear you plate completely before you can leave the table" thing. As the oldest child, I would help my brother and sister by finishing what they were too full to eat when our parents weren't looking. As a result, I was heavy for most of my life. I don't even mean by stupid societal standards. Objectively, my BMI was far into the overweight range. Not quite into the obese range, but I wasn't healthy by any means.

Azumi: I see. Now I understand your plight with the No-Go code so much better. I am deeply sorry for trying to push you into something you weren't comfortable with.

Tozen: It's okay. You couldn't have known. I couldn't do much without losing my breath. It wasn't good. My baby sister didn't want me to feel shitty anymore, so she saved up her allowance to get me books on nutrition. And it like... broke me out of a fog. I was so freaking determined. I poured everything I had into making positive changes so that I could like myself... and also so that my siblings would never have to go through what I did. But I'm always really scared of winding up where I used to be. If I didn't know how much havoc it wreaks on your body, I might've fallen into disordered eating habits a long time ago.

Azumi: You are... so remarkable. You think you are not brave, and do not have a strong willpower, but it is the contrary. Your fortitude inspires me deeply.

Tozen: Azumi, I don't deserve you.

His earnest smile makes my heart flutter. Kana and Ren burst in, teasing each other and then also us, and they make such a mess of the place that we all wind up needing to help clean it. My heart is full right now. I am very lucky to have such wonderful friends.

Tozen's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him.

Available During Chapter 4:

Event 4:

Tozen: Hey, Zu. How are you holding up?

What should I do? Should I invite Tozen to hang out?

Invite Tozen to hang out

See who else is around

Tozen: Of course. I'm dedicated to this group. If anyone needs anything, I'm there. So, I'm here for you.

He brews up some peppermint tea and we drink it in the garden together as we mourn those we've lost. By the end, I'm left feeling both tranquil and vulnerable. But the good kind of vulnerable.

Looks like Tozen and I drew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Tozen a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#36 Boater Hat— A snazzy straw boater hat with a brown band. Won't help you find the legendary treasure, but it will help you feel fashion-forward.

Tozen: Hey, thanks so much! This is just my type of gift! Honestly, I can hardly imagine you getting it more spot-on.

...

Azumi: This is a highly personal question, so feel free not to answer... Had you experienced loss before we got here?

Tozen: It's not loss like death. Honestly, it's pretty stupid.

Azumi: Nonsense.

He sighs, holding his heart.

Tozen: Back when I had just turned fourteen, and I wasn't well mentally or physically, I had no hope that I'd ever be with anyone in a romantic sense. I didn't think anyone could ever love me the way I was. Enter... Sachiko. Sachiko and I met because we sat next to each other in class that year. She was always very friendly. She had a bright smile and a joyful heart, and she would find me during break periods whenever I was feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. She was one of the only people who could make me feel really, really happy. I was SO into her.

Azumi: What happened? Did she hurt you?

Tozen: She asked me out! I was in complete and utter disbelief, and we were in Heaven. Just her and me against the world together. I knew she loved me, and she was always encouraging me to love myself, too, which was one of those things that I really needed. When my sis gave me my first nutrition books, I was really excited, cause I wanted to better myself for Sachiko, too. I wanted to be someone she could be really proud to be with, so that nobody would give her weird looks or whisper about what she saw in me. But the strangest thing happened. Or at least, I thought it was weird at the time. She was starting to pull away from me.  The closer I got to my target weight, the more distant she got until... she left me.

Azumi: Huh? Why would she-- But you were feeling better! You were finally becoming confident! I do not understand!

Tozen: I thought that she loved me in spite of the thing I wanted to change about myself, but I quickly found out that she was interested in me because of it. I was her type, and then I wasn't. And hey, I'm not judging, really. People can find anything beautiful. I was just so angry that she was so shallow. I was hopeful that she liked ME, you know, but her feelings for me were skin-deep. She was just like everyone else... While she was drifting away, I sort of realized what was happening, and I told myself that if I had to choose between being able to run without getting tired instantaneously or being with her, I'd choose me. As a nutritionist, body positivity can be hard, since I want people to be healthy and live long lives, but ultimately, I care more about people feeling like they can love themselves. She wanted me to love myself the way I was, but I knew I'd be happier if I trimmed down. That's not always the case for people, but it was for me.

Azumi: That is terrible! For her to not truly have your best interests at heart, and to leave you when you no longer fit her physical desires... that is beyond cruel!

Tozen: IT GETS WORSE.

Azumi: How?!

Tozen: When I look back on it, I can tell that she was constantly trying to sabotage me! She'd suggest getting sweets pretty much every time she got to choose date night, she started trying to make unhealthy lunches for me... I SWEAR she stole one of my sets of exercise clothes. But I was so freaking blind! And it hurt so bad. She took an important part of me with her. So, yeah... my loss was petty, and it was nothing compared to these deaths, but I still carry it.

Azumi: The perception of loss is more important than what the loss was. If it wounded you deeply, it was not petty.

Tozen: Thanks, Zu. Damn, I was trying to cheer YOU up, but I just wound up ranting.

Azumi: Comforting you and listening to you makes me happy.

Suddenly, Chimon calls out to us that Fujiko accidentally started another grease fire, so we have to put the conversation on hold to prevent the building from burning down.

Tozen's Report Card has been updated based on your experience with him.

Available During Chapter 5:

Event 5:

Tozen: O-Oh. H-Hey, Azumi. You look pretty determined.

What should I do? Should I invite Tozen to hang out?

Invite Tozen to hang out

See who else is around

Tozen: I... Yeah, I'm free. Let's do this.

I show him some of my acrobatics tricks to get myself feeling confident.

Looks like Tozen and I drew a little closer today.

Would you like to give Tozen a present?

Definitely!

Not really...

#18 Antique Cutlery Set— A crate full of ornate, slightly aged utensils. Despite the fact that they were made decades ago, they are in remarkable condition.

Tozen: Oh my word. This is... I love this so much, I can hardly speak. Thank you.

...

Azumi: I... must confess something to you. In case you discover a secret in the upcoming quiz game.

Tozen: Let's go to my bedroom.

We head there immediately. My heart is pounding beyond belief.

Azumi: As I was saying... I have feelings for you. I've been attracted to you since the beginning, but attraction can't begin to sum up the appreciation I have for you and the desire to know you more and more. I would never try to force anything on you, I just... needed to say.

He takes a deep breath and fumbles about with his hands.

Tozen: I... knew. I know about Ren, too. I lied. I heard one of your conversations with him during the microphone motive. I'm really sorry for hiding it.

Azumi: Huh?! H-How?! You only listened to two conversations, and everyone confirmed they were real!

Tozen: I got help from Gou and Kana. I was scared. It doesn't excuse it, but I was so...

Azumi: So does that mean you cannot accept my confession?

Tozen: That's— Um— This is really complicated. Fuck me. Agh.

Azumi: Do your best to articulate your thoughts. If you are comfortable with that.

Tozen: No, I owe you that much at least. Aghhhhhh. Okayokayokay. I... don't know if either of you really have the feelings you think you do.

Azumi: What do you mean?

Tozen: People don't like ME! They like who I act like! They like the sweet, attentive guy who does whatever he can to help everyone, regardless of himself! No love exists without strings! People only care about what other people can do for them! That's why Sachiko left! If we'd met and I acted differently, you wouldn't like me. I'm constantly working just to be cared about. Love is earned, not gifted, and because of that, it's flimsy. I don't know if anyone really loves me for me, or if they ever will, so how can I trust romance?! Even my family just loves me because I'm family. Prove me wrong!

Azumi: You don't understand. Of course people don't love everyone simply for existing. We cannot love humanity— we can only love humans. We choose who to love, maybe even for slightly selfish reasons, but that doesn't make said love any less real. We as people gravitate toward those who help us most to grow. Tozen, we are drawn to every part of you. If we are willing to take the good with the bad, the insecurity with the confidence, the stability with the chaos, then does the reason why we begin to love really matter so much?

Tozen: ...Would you still love me if I wasn't such a people-pleaser all the time? Particularly at the beginning?

Azumi: Who could say? I don't know what it would be like if you portrayed yourself differently from the start. First impressions do matter. But what I can tell you is that, if you ever need to relax, or if you fall into a funk, we will still care. In fact, we've attempted to encourage you to take a break, on occasion! Ren and I care about YOU. You "earned" our love a long time ago. We "give" it freely. You will not lose it.

Tozen: Oh, God. I have a lot I have to think about. Don't take this as a no. I just need time to quite literally rehash my entire way of thinking. I'm sorry for making you wait for my answer. And for... accusing you of not really caring. I've been fucked in the head for a long time. But maybe I can start to understand now. Thanks for always affirming me.

Azumi: All is well. If your answer happens to be no, I will not be bitter. I will give you as much space as you require. Farewell.

Tozen: Wait. No matter what this winds up meaning for us... I love you, Zu.

Azumi: I love you, too.

I leave and shut the door behind me before sinking to the ground. Love— platonic or romantic— is complicated, and oftentimes painful, like it is right now. But, no matter what he decides, Tozen will always have a true friend in me.

[A/N] The next chapter is NOT a placeholder chapter! It's alternate Tozen FTEs from Ren's POV. I'll explain more next chapter.