CHAPTER THIRTY: MY SILVER SPRING !

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IT HAD BEEN AN ENTIRE MONTH SINCE THE TRIAL. Everyone on the BAU team had spent their time with their families or their time just sleeping in. Everyone took advantage of their time wisely.

         As for Dr. Spencer Reid, he was healing from his injuries from the incident. He was doing as well as he could be. He unfortunately couldn't say the same for his ex-wife. Spencer found it troubling to soak in the depths of the darkness when it came to something traumatizing. So, he tried to his best to move on from it, even though it was hard to move on from something like that.

         It was five in the morning when he woke up from another nightmare. They were occurring more often than not but he'd gotten used to it.

         He made himself some coffee and set up his chess board, doing daily activities as he played himself in the game of chess. He had the morning paper rolled up next to take board as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

         This was a typical Sunday morning for Spencer Reid. If Chris was around, he'd probably opt to make some scrambled eggs from him.

          Before as he stirred his six sugars in the mug, his cell phone began to ring and he looked around, trying to remember where he last put his cell and he walked across the room after setting his coffee mug down and searched his bag for his cell and found it and answered it.

        "Hello, Dr. Reid?" Spencer began professionally. "Reid, it's Aaron." Spencer hasn't heard from Hotch in a little while. It wasn't a normal occurrence for the man to call as often. "Uh, hey, Hotch, what's up?" Spencer asked.

         And that's when Hotch explained the situation. He and Vivian had been going to visit Casey for the time being because she was really struggling and Hotch didn't know who else to turn to to help out with this. Spencer always seemed to get Casey out of the thick spot she was in. Hotch had seen it when Emily "died", he knew Spencer was the man for the job. Of course, Spencer being the caring man that he was, he dropped everything and headed to Casey's house.

When he arrived, he had knocked first. He didn't want to intrude, this was Casey's house after all. When the door opened, Vivian Hudson-Hotchner was standing on the other side of the door. "Hey!" She greeted to Spencer. "Hi." Spencer greeted back with a wave and a tight-lipped smile. "Sorry, we had to get you down here." Vivian lets Spencer in the house.

"It's no problem." Spencer tells.
"Dad!" Christopher jumps away from his seat at the kitchen table as soon as he hears his dad's voice. "Hey, kiddo." Spencer groaned as Chris jumped into Spencer's arms. "How you doing?"

Christopher waved his hand sideways. "Meh." He tells. Wow, this boy is just like his mother. Spencer thought to himself.

Spencer turns to face Vivian and asks, "Upstairs?" He's asking where Casey is. "Her bedroom." Vivian tells and Spencer puts Chris down. Vivian decides to bring the boy back into the kitchen as Spencer goes upstairs.

When he finds Casey's bedroom, the door is open and as he steps closer, he sees Hotch in a chair next to Casey's bed, Casey's in the bed, eyes closed as she faces Hotch. The older man has his hand next to her head and it's a sight that warms yet breaks Spencer's heart.

When Hotch sees Spencer, he stands up and leaves Casey's side. "Hey." Hotch greeted. "Hey." Spencer greets back, looking at Casey.

"How is she?" Spencer asks quietly as Vivian joins the two. "Not so good. She hasn't talked to us." Hotch said. "How long has she been like that?" Spencer wonders. "Since the trial." Vivian answers.

Spencer should've known that Casey was really struggling since what happened. He knew but he wasn't aware of the extent of the pain she was truly in. Mostly because she tried to hide it so well. Then, one day, everything just built up and now she was like this, like she was frozen in time.

       "Come on, let's give her her rest." Hotch grabs the doorknob and closes the door and the three head downstairs to chat.

        Vivian seemed to be taking the role as a mother as she spent time taking care of Chris and feeding him since Casey wasn't present to do so. "How have you been doing, Reid?" Vivian wondered. "Since the whole—?"

        "Better," Spencer answered honestly. "But I can't say the same for Casey. What she went through was... a lot."
       "You can say that again." Vivian nodded.
       Deciding to change the subject because he didn't wanna speak about Casey right when Chris was standing there, he directed to another topic. "How's your sister? And your kids?" He wondered. He hasn't spoken to Wes since the funeral. A part of him felt guilty for not doing so but everything with Damion Brambilla got in the way.

       "We're all good," Vivian answered. "As good as we can be, at least. Fiona recently got a job at a law firm and Wes... he's been staying with us. It's been a little tough on him since what happened with—" Spencer looks down as Vivian stops herself from mentioning Leah. Her death was beginning to take a toll on everyone, maybe Casey most of all.

        "Since we've been back, we've been spending as much time with them as we can. As well as you guys." Vivian stated. Hotch nodded in agreement as Vivian placed a hand on his back.

         Spencer had taken notice of the wedding ring on Vivian's ring finger. He'd noticed it before but hadn't said anything. "I never got to tell you guys but, uh, congratulations." He motions to the ring.

          Vivian then looks at her hand and realizes what Spencer's talking about. "Oh, thank you." They hadn't said anything to the team, considering the circumstances of what occurred. They didn't want to stampede on that.

"Don't tell Rossi, but... we eloped." Vivian told and Spencer raised his eyebrows. "We wanted something quick. Jack was there, things were good. It was enough. As soon as you guys caught Scratch, we couldn't wait." Hotch explained and Spencer smiles a bit.

"Rossi made it sound like such a bad thing with that Krystall girl. The one with a 'K' and two L's. I mean, look how it's going with them now." Vivian stated.

"Honestly, eloping is more intimate and easier than a traditional wedding in a lot of ways—one of which is simply because you have zero limitations. Think about it: the venue, the location, the vows, even what you wear. Each elopement is completely customised to what you want." Spencer stated. "In a national survey to over 1,000 U.S.-based couples who are currently engaged, the results found that 62% of them are open to considering a scaled-back elopement style wedding, and the number is higher for females at 69%."

Vivian looks at Hotch and points at Spencer. "I missed that." And Hotch nods in agreement. "So did I."

Spencer takes notice at how close the couple is to one another. That time together made them realize just how important they were to one another. And Spencer was glad to know they still had each other. Casey called it all those years ago about them being into each other. She was always right about stuff like that.

He was also glad to know that they were also here for Casey. He knew they cared about her so much like she was their own daughter and in a way, she kind of was.

        "I'm glad you're here..." Spencer says. "Especially for her." The two smile at the man. "I'm sure she appreciates you being here too." Vivian tells.

         Spencer thinks for a moment as he looks at Chris, watching TV of some random cartoon. He debates asking Vivian and Hotch to take Chris for the day as he tries to get through to Casey. He almost goes against it, but maybe it'd be best for the time being.

        "Um, do you mind if you and Hotch take Chris for a little while?" Spencer asks as the question quickly rolls off his tongue. "I think that maybe she just needs some time alone. And I'll be here. Just in case she needs anything." He assures to them.

        "Are you sure?" Hotch asks. "We really don't mind staying." Vivian tells.

        Spencer nods, "Yeah, I'm sure. And I kind of just want Chris to be away from this for a little while. I know he doesn't like seeing his mom upset." He speaks quietly.

        Hotch and Vivian contemplate for a moment but they knew that Casey was in good hands with Spencer around. "Okay, yeah, we can take him for however long you need." Hotch nodded at him and Vivian grabs her cell. "I'll text you our address and we'll be on our way. We can drop him off or you can pick him up. Just let us know." She says.

        Spencer nods, "Okay." He turns towards Chris and walks towards the living room and Chris stands up and that causes Spencer to kneel to his level. "Hey, bud, you're gonna go with Uncle Aaron and Aunt Vivian for a little while, okay?" Chris nodded at his father and Spencer stood up to go and get him packed up.

         "Hey, Dad?" Chris asks before Spencer leaves the room. "Yeah?" Spencer asks. "Mom's gonna be fine, right?" Spencer looks at Vivian and Hotch and they look back at him, wondering what he's gonna answer with.

         Spencer walks back over to his son and picks him up to hold him in a hug. "She's gonna be just fine. Don't worry about her, okay? She's tough." Chris nods as he gives his dad a hug. Spencer lets him down and he goes to get ready.

       "Thank you, again." Spencer tells Hotch and Vivian. "It's no problem, Spencer." Vivian stated and Hotch nods, "Just let her know we're here for her."
       Spencer nodded, "She knows." He assures.

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          When Hotch, Vivian and Chris left, the house became quiet. Since it was Spencer just pretty much occupying himself, he decided to take the liberty of cleaning up a little around here to pass time before he went to go and check on Casey.

It seemed as if Casey went back to her ways after moving out of the apartment. At least now. After jail, she was neater than ever, it was kind of a shock. But it seemed as if she was reverting back to her normal ways she had before she moved in with Spencer.

And he had to clean up all of the special gift baskets Penelope sent over for about a month now. There had to have at least been a dozen baskets. Some of them looked open and Spencer assumed that maybe Hotch, Vivian and maybe even Chris helped themselves to the stuff in the baskets.

So when Spencer cleaned up, he decided that he was gonna make her something to eat. She needed basic nutrients and it seemed like she hadn't eaten anything in a while due to the lack of dirty dishes in the sink, but he figured Vivian may have done them earlier.

Spencer had made Casey a sandwich and cut them, crossed-over like she liked. He put mayo, mustard, cheese, ham, lettuce, tomato and pickles inside just how she liked it. He also decided to add a blueberry muffin in there from one of Garcia's baskets.

He went upstairs and braced himself for Casey's reactions. He knew she wasn't gonna the same charismatic girl he loved, it would take a while before anyone could get that version of her back.

Spencer knocked on the door and knew she wouldn't answer, so he opened the door slightly and spoke, "Casey?" She was turned away from him but he could tell by her breathing that she was awake.

"I, uh, brought you some lunch." Spencer places the plate on the table beside her. "Figured you might be hungry."

"'M not." Casey muttered out. At least she said a few words, Spencer thought to himself. "You okay?" He decided to put out there but after that, no response. Baby steps, he reminded himself.

Spencer takes a short breath. "Whenever you're ready to talk... I'm right here, you know that, right?" When he gets no response back, he decides to leave the room but before he can even exit, Casey speaks again.

"What's there to talk about?" Casey wondered. There was something in her voice and then Spencer recognized it when she continued. "What happened happened." There was no emotion. She was numb. Empty.

Spencer stops in his tracks again. "I know you wanna be left alone—"
"Then, leave me alone." In her voice, he can hear that she's begging.

"But Casey, you need to get out of this bed sometime," Spencer stated. "For people who live with depression and oversleeping go hand in hand. The cause and effect go in both directions. Depression often leads to sleeping more and to a delayed sleep pattern, sleeping longer and later can cause or actually worsen depression."

"Just leave me alone, Spencer." Casey said.
"Casey—"

Suddenly, Casey jumps up to sit up and look Spencer in the eyes with a scowl on her face. She's angry and it's written all over her face. "What part of "leave me alone" don't you understand?" She questions.

"I don't wanna talk about it because when I talk about it, it hurts. Okay, Spencer? It's hurts! I mean, my car got totaled, my boyfriend betrayed me, Christopher got hurt and Leah died. And the one person — the one person I go to for everything I can't go to anymore without him thinking I'm just gonna fall right back in love with him. So forgive me for not getting out of bed just yet."

With that, Casey laid right back in bed and turned away from him after sprouting the words she just spoke. She covered herself with the blankets, leaving Spencer stunned at her yelling at him.

Perhaps he deserved that, he thought as he closed the door behind him. He knew she would react like that sooner or later and he didn't blame her at all. She was angry, hurt. But if there was one person that could get through to her, it was him. He just had to try the next time he could.

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Spencer only received one visitor as he stayed at Casey's house. Her father, James, had been dropping off some stuff of Leah's that Casey might've wanted and that she could look over whenever she wanted to.

It had been a box of some of Leah's clothes and scrapbooks, some that belonged to her, some that belonged to her mother. His eyes drew to the vinyl record player and the box of old vinyl records, dating back to the 1940s to music from the '90s.

Maybe Casey would like this, Spencer thought to himself. And so Spencer, set it up and sure enough, it had worked. He tested some old unlabeled record and you could hear the sound throughout the entire house.

After seeing that it worked, he looked upstairs. Some part of Spencer hoped that maybe Casey would come downstairs. But she hadn't. He looked up and wondered what he could do next to get her down here.

Suddenly, he heard his cell phone in the other room and had gone to answer it after checking the Caller ID. "Morgan?"

"Hey, kid. Just calling to see how you're doing?" Morgan began. "I'm... okay. I guess." Spencer answered with a deep breath. "What's up?" Morgan asked.

Spencer looks upstairs again, hoping that Casey's not gonna come downstairs at any moment to walk into this conversation. "I'm at Casey's right now. She's doing bad, Morgan. And I feel like everything I do is just making it worse for her." He admitted, truthfully.

"Kid, she went through something traumatic. Like we all have at one point. Right now, all that matters is that you're there for her, right now. She deserves that." Morgan told and Spencer took his words into account. "Whenever she tries to push people away, you're the one that always brings her back."

"I do?" Spencer asks and to Morgan, it's almost a shock that the man doesn't know this himself. "Dude, you have since you met her. Trust me, we've all seen this. She's gonna be okay. She's got you."

"I don't know, Morgan. She already yelled at me once." Spencer stated. "When has she not, Pretty Boy? Isn't that just her way of telling you she loves you?" Spencer shrugs even thought Morgan can't see it.

"You have to know you're doing something by just being there. I know she must appreciate it. Especially after all the crap she's been through." Morgan told. "I know, I just wish I could take that pain away from her." Spencer truthfully said and Morgan agreed, "Yeah, me, too, kid."

           The phone call eventually ended and Spencer felt a bit better about all of this. He knew it was gonna take Casey a while to heal.

         After the phone call, he heard some clattering upstairs and what he thought was glass breaking. He rushed upstairs and found Casey still in bed but the plate of food he made for her was thrown on the floor and the glass plate was broken in three places.

          Okay, maybe more than a while. Spencer thought as he cleaned the mess up.

         After doing so, he'd gone back upstairs and began to talk. Just talk. His voice always seemed to soothe her in ways. "You know, my mom used to do that a lot. She would get really depressed with her medication she'd take. She'd be in bed all the time. She'd get angry, irritated. Normally, I was left to pick up the pieces. I was ten." Spencer told.

        "And I understand if you would want to stay in bed all day. It would take months to recover from something like that. But I'm not leaving. Not even for a second." With that'd he pulled up the chair Hotch had in the room and sat near the bed. "So, if you want to wallow, I'll wallow with you. Whether or not somebody benefits from crying depends a lot on the people surrounding them. If they provide support and comfort, the crying person is more likely to feel better afterward."

          Casey listened to every word he spoke. Even the ones he muttered... which were: "I just want you to feel better, that's all." It was a long while in the silence, but in reality, it was at least three minutes. Spencer settled in the chair.

         "I'm trying." Casey said. "I am."

        After that, no words were spoken again and Casey closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

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         The nightmares became such a normal thing for Casey Willows at this point. Every night was something new. Some nightmares were about Leah in the bathtub, asking Casey why she didn't save her. Some were about Chandler, actually getting away with the car accident. And some were about Damion and him succeeding with burying her alive.

          Like tonight, it was a Damion nightmare. And as soon as she was fully buried, she clashed awake. When she blinked open her eyes and realized she was okay, partially sweaty as well as the sheets, she turned on the lamp light next to her and had seen that Spencer was gone.

           Perhaps Spencer had gone home. He had no reason to stay after how she treated him the entire day. She checked the clock and it was around seven p.m.. Her arm felt itchy. But she wasn't going to. She couldn't bare to scratch at the scars that were left behind by Damion Brambilla.

           As she thought back to those three days of hell, it all of a sudden felt eerie in the house. Since everything happened, she didn't like to be alone. And who could blame her?

          Casey had decided that maybe she could call Spencer to come back and stay for the night in the guest room. She just didn't want to be alone tonight. She left her cell phone downstairs. So, she put her slippers on and headed down the stairs slowly and quiet as a mouse. It had taken a bit for her to get used to walking. She'd been in bed for so long, only using the bathroom when she really needed to, everything felt wobbly. Her head ached and she wonders if she has any Tylenol left.

          When she reached the stairs, she was shocked to see that Spencer had still been here. He was on the couch, a blanket on his body, his glasses on his face and he was reading a book. A stack of books had been right next to him and Casey wondered how he hadn't noticed her yet.

         "You're still here." Casey speaks and Spencer head immediately perks up and he tosses the book aside as well as the blanket and takes his glasses off. "Hey." He said and disheveledy stands up, almost tripping over his own feet as he approaches Casey. "You're up."

        Casey looks at Spencer and admits like a small child, "I had another nightmare. I didn't wanna be alone." She's quiet but Spencer hears her clearly.

       "What would you have done if I was gone?" Spencer wonders. He wouldn't have left. Not even for a second. "Called you... maybe someone else." Casey stated. "I would've dropped everything to answer." Spencer tells and Casey knows that's the truth. He would've. He was always too good for her.

       "Here," Spencer leads Casey to the couch, carefully getting her to sit. "Sit out here. I'll, uh, go get you some milk." Basic protein would be good for her right now.

       Before Casey can even sit down and Spencer starts towards the kitchen, she stops him. "Could you get wine instead?" She wonders. "If it's no trouble?" Spencer gives Casey a small smile. She only trusted herself to drink if Spencer was around. At least for some occasions. "Sure."

         With that, Spencer headed towards the kitchen and Casey notes to how clean her apartment looks. She assumes it's both Spencer's and Vivian's doing. She couldn't thank Hotch and Vivian enough for coming by. She knew that they had also taken Christopher for the night, too.

Her eyes then draw over to the record player and she furrows her brows because last time she checked, she didn't own a record player. The vinyl records that came with it. "What's this?" She wonders.

Spencer peeks towards the living room and nods at Casey. "Uh, your dad dropped it off. He was, uh, going through some of Leah's old things. Figured you might want it. I think it was her mother's." Casey examines the record player and finds the initials, written in permanent marker 'J.R.'. She takes a deep breath as she looks at the records as well in the box.

Spencer comes back with the wine bottle under his arm. "Are you hungry?" He asks as he heads back to kitchen. Casey looks back at him and shakes her head, "No, not really."

"You sure? You should get something in your stomach." Spencer tells and Casey shakes her head again, "I'm okay." She assures and Spencer nods, but for the sake of Casey getting something in her stomach, he decided to put some bread in the toaster to make some toast for her. It's something small and it would fill her up.

       Spencer comes back with the wine glasses and sets them down and decides to open the wine bottle as well. Casey looks inside of the record player and decides to play whatever's in it because of the music selections she found weren't really calling to her.

       She starts it up and the song that plays brings Casey nostalgia by the first few notes. Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac. "Oh, I love this song." She smiles and it's the first smile Spencer had seen on Casey's face in a while.

       "Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac. I think this is the live version." Casey stated as she sat down on the couch beside Spencer as he finished pouring their wine glasses. "Burbank, California. 1997, right?" Spencer wonders, taking a sip from the wine he had out.

        Casey furrows her brows and wonders how on Earth Spencer knew who Fleetwood Mac was when he didn't know basic modern technology. "I never pegged you to be a Fleetwood Mac fan." She tells. "My mom liked them." Spencer shrugged.

       "Yeah, my dad was, uh, crazy about them. If it were up to him, he would've named me Stevie." Casey said and Spencer furrows his brows and Casey sees that pointed look. "After Stevie Nicks. She's... the..." Casey stops and it seemed like Spencer still didn't get it. Now, there was the typical Spencer she knew. "Anyway... all I would listen to in high school."

      "Wine?" Spencer asks, motioning to her glass in front of her and the woman nods, "Sure." Casey doesn't drink that much wine from her glass, she only takes a sip.

       The two sit in the silence of enjoying the voice of Stevie Nicks in the little voice-box when Spencer decides to speak up. "You know, I have a good memory of Leah." He tells. "Do you remember that first Easter when your dad came back and Leah and Isaac spent it with us?"

      Casey thinks back on it and chuckles as she shakes her head. "That Easter was a disaster."

       "For Chris, it wasn't." Spencer said. "Instead of him going egg hunting, you and your siblings wanted to join in on the fun. So we put an $100 bill in one of the eggs."

       "I somehow convinced Leah it was on the opposite side from where she was looking to throw her off her track." Casey remembered. "You wanted that $100 bill for yourself." Spencer stated. "And finally, you found it and you and Leah just got into this brawl, rolling around on the grass like toddlers, Isaac had to separate the both of you."

        Casey laughs at the memory. To this day, Leah would still say she won that fight but Casey disagreed and said that she won it but it was obvious the two were always gonna agree to disagree in that aspect. "And then I caved and I gave it to her." She told.

       "And do you remember what she said?" Spencer wondered and Casey stops laughing and smiles as she thinks about what Leah said. "She said, 'this is going to Chris's college fund'." She takes a deep breath. "She loved him a lot. And he loved her."

       "And so did you." Spencer said. Casey bites her lip to keep from crying again because she hadn't cried in a while and she was doing so good so far. "I miss her." She admired with her glossy eyes. "I do, too." Spencer looked at Leah as his own sister. It was also devastating to him about her dying.

        Casey allows herself to shed one tear and she immediately wipes it away and she speaks, "I don't know if this feeling will last forever. I don't want it to."

        Spencer looks at Casey and gives her a tight-lipped smile. "Leah would want you to keep going. For Chris. You know she would." Casey nods, she knows Leah would. Casey feels guilty that she hasn't given herself time to grieve and breathe and go to visit Leah at the cemetery. She just thinks it's so soon. And maybe it is. "Yeah."

         There's a long pause as Spencer looks down at his glass and Casey's glass and he notices that they've barely drank the wine Casey asked to get.

        "Do you ever think about how things would be now if I never went to prison?" Spencer wonders aloud. And Casey looks up at him and she admits, "Sometimes. A girl can dream. But... um... honestly, I think we probably would've still been fighting, going to counseling."

        Spencer straightens himself a bit. "But do you think we would've gotten better?" He puts the empty glass back on the table. Casey shrugged, "In time, I would like to believe."

        "I know I said it a lot back then but I really am sorry for everything, everything that we both went through." For a while, it took Casey to forgive Spencer for putting her through hell. Casey can see that Spencer is really trying to be that good guy and she knows that he is that good guy, there's no doubt it. None at all.

        "I'm sorry, too." Casey tells as she sits up to look him in the eyes. She puts a comforting hand on his arm and the two sit there for a moment.

         Casey can't help but stare at Spencer's lips. She doesn't know where to look, his lips or eyes. And it seems to her that Spencer doesn't know where to look either.
       She wonders if he still tastes the same. He wonders the same thing.
       She wondering if he's gonna end up putting those perfect hands of his somewhere useful. He's wondering if she'll tug at his hair again if he does what he's about to do.

       It's a game of tug of war with their eyes until they meet each other halfway and feel each other's lips. Casey was right, he tasted the same. His lips were plump and soft like they always were. She can't lie and say she hasn't thought about this since that other time they'd kissed.

        Spencer turns his body more towards her and he places his cold hands on each side of her face to pull her in deeper. Casey doesn't mind his cold hands, as long he doesn't mind Casey tugging at his long locks. Spencer was right about that.

         Casey pushes Spencer on the couch and their kisses get sloppy and she moans in his mouth and that's when Spencer flips them both over to continue kissing her. His hands are placed near each side of her head, balancing himself as he pushes himself up against her.

         It's then that Casey abruptly pushes away and takes a breath. "Wait, wait, wait." She places each of her hands on each side of his face, staring into his chocolate brown eyes. They stay there, looking into each other's eyes and Spencer sees something in her pupils that makes him sit up.

        Casey sits up as well. "I'm sorry, I—" Spencer began to apologize and Casey immediately shook her head at him. "No, no, it's fine. I initiated it. But if I kept doing that, I don't think I would've ever stopped." She admits and Spencer nods in agreement, "I don't think I would've either." He runs a hand through his hair and Casey stands up.

       "But I would've been using you for the wrong reasons." Casey admitted. She knew that she could never do that to Spencer. She was still grieving and she would use him just for her own selfish term. And he did not deserve that at all. "And I'm, just... God, I have no idea what I'm doing." She runs two hands over her hair. "I'm sorry." She apologizes profusely.

       "No, no, don't be sorry. I get it." Spencer stands up and as he goes to hold her hand, Casey backs away from him. "I need a minute." She squeezes his hand to assure that things are okay but she needs a moment. "Can I—?"

       Spencer nodded, he had no trouble waiting for her. He'd wait for her for the rest of his life if it came to that. "Yeah." He nodded and with that, Casey rushed upstairs and to the bathroom to take a breather.

       Casey paces in the bathroom. Damn, she thinks. Stevie Nicks really was a damn witch. There was definitely some type of magic in her music that possessed to do what she just did.

        She contemplates going back down there at all. But who was she kidding? This situation has happened twice now. But this time, she was the one who initiated the kissing. And it may have gone further had she not stopped it.

          Not that she didn't want it to go further. She had actually been thinking about giving Spencer a second chance for a while now. Since everything had happened, she realized that he was by her side through all of it when he didn't even need to be. He never gave up on her.

          The thing was was that Casey was still hesitant. Especially since what happened with Chandler. And Damion. Things were still really heavy. And she needed time to heal before jumping into a relationship again. So, she decided something that she knew could work.

         Casey was in the bathroom for about four minutes and fifty-seven seconds, Spencer would know, he counted. She had finally come walking down the stairs and she was slow like she had been beforehand.

           When Casey came downstairs, Spencer had his hands on the back of his neck, thinking to himself, possibly blaming himself for what happened.

         When he noticed her figure, he immediately stood up. "Listen, I'm sorry, I—" Casey shook her head at Spencer. "It wasn't your fault. This one's on me this time." There's a pause and Casey knows that she needs to rip off the bandaid. "Can I tell you something?"

        Spencer is unsure of where this is heading, but he says:  "Sure."

        Casey takes a deep breath and looks at the ground for a minute. "I've been, um, thinking a lot." She faces Spencer. "You've... really been there for me with all of this. With what happened with Leah, Chandler, us. I don't think I've said thank you. So, thank you."

         He nods at her in gratitude. Casey continues, "And... I would be lying if I said that I... didn't think about getting back together." Spencer's eyes light up once she mentions that.

       "This last year and a half has really made me think. And you've been... so patient with everything and me and Chris and... to be honest, I don't think I'm ever gonna find anyone better than you, to tell you the truth." Casey tells and Spencer feels a 'but' coming on. "But..." There it is. "I just... need time." Oh?

       "Time to grieve for Leah, time to focus on things. And I need you to give me that time. Because it's what we both need. It's what I need. So can you do that?" Casey asks and Spencer walks over to Casey, reaching for her hand and nods, "For you, of course." He'd wait a lifetime for her. But the fact that he may get that chance back with her again... is so endearing for him.

         The moment is interrupted when Spencer's cell buzzes on the table and he goes to check it and sees that it's Hotch that has messaged him. "That's Hotch. He, uh, said that Chris is wiped from today. I'm gonna go and get him. And I can just leave—" He goes to put his jacket on and grabs his keys from his pocket.

         "Spencer." Casey interrupts. "Can you stay the night? Please?" Casey really didn't want to be alone. And she was telling the truth there. She was scared to be alone, if she were being truthful.

          And Spencer just can't say 'no' to that. He looks at the woman and nods at her. "Of course." He gives her a small smile and with that, he goes to open the front door and leaves.

           Casey's thankful that the hotel they're staying in is just a block away but she still locks the doors behind him and heads upstairs.

━━━━━━

  
           When Spencer had come to pick Christopher up, he was already tired by the looks of it. He became a little more awake when Spencer buckled him to his seat.

           As they drove back in silence, Chris spoke: "Dad?" He asks and Spencer looks at Chris through the rearview mirror. "What is it, bud?"

         "Does Mom think I love you more than her?" Kids usually wondered the most random crap but Spencer furrows his brows when Chris asks that question. And it seemed so genuine coming from his mouth.

        "No, not at all. Why do you say that?" Spencer questioned. "She's been talking about me living with you more instead of her. Says it would probably be better." Spencer wonders if she's been telling Chris that a lot recently, since she wasn't feeling her best before, maybe she didn't know what she was saying. "And I love Mom, I love her a lot. And I love you because you're my dad. And she's my mom. But I think she thinks I don't love her enough." Chris sounds sad as he tells his father that.

        Spencer looks in the rearview mirror and nods at Chris, "Your mom knows. Trust me, she does." He assures. "She was just going through a hard time with your aunt. She's getting better. She is."

         There's a pause when Chris speaks again. "Can I go sleep with Mom tonight? She's been really sad lately and I wanna make her feel better." Spencer would say that Chris got that quality from his mother but he definitely got that from his father.

       Spencer smiles, "You know, I think she'd like that." Chris smiles as he looks outside and Spencer turns the corner to the street where the house is and when he get back, he notices that the top and bottom lock are both locked and part of him wished that maybe he should've brought Casey on that ride.

        Spencer gets Chris dressed in pajamas and grabs his stuffed giraffe and blanket and Spencer opens the bedroom door to check if Casey's awake but based on her breathing, she's sound asleep. 

        Spencer looks down at his son and nods at him to go ahead and join his mother on the bed. Christopher carefully climbs into the bed next to his mom and Spencer smiles at the sight as it makes his heart warm.

         Tonight, he decided to sleep on carpet in front of Casey's bed. He laid a blanket on it and grabbed another one from the hallway closet as he settled himself on the ground. He didn't care, he knew that baby steps were crucial for this part of playing the waiting game.

          That Fleetwood Mac song was right, Casey was his Silver Springs. And he was hers. (Of course, the man doesn't know it's a breakup song, leave him be).

          Eventually, Spencer had fallen into a deep slumber on the ground, surprisingly. And all was quiet. And warm.

           Casey had waken up the next morning as the sun shone through the blinds and the blinding sun woke her up. She stirred awake and blinked a few times as she moved herself to get out of that horrid light.

            She sat up and noticed that a big lump was in the bed. That big lump happened to be her son. And he sleeping soundly next to her. She smiled and seen that he was still sleeping softly and suddenly, she didn't blame that horrid sun for waking her up.

             At the edge of her bed, she noticed feet, covered by one dark blue sock and a pink sock with patterns on it and Casey leaned over a bit to realize that Spencer was sleeping on the ground. He looked to be comfortable (and he eventually found comfort on the ground).

             Casey stood up, removing the covers as she carefully got out of bed and grabbed a throw blanket that was on the chair next to her bed and tossed it over Spencer's body since she knew he was always cold.

              Casey smiled to herself as she looked at the sleeping men in the room and suddenly, she felt warmth and light and for some reason, she couldn't help but think that maybe Leah had been that blinding horrid light that woke her up, to make her realize that what she had was appreciative enough.

            And suddenly, she felt like things were gonna be okay. She'd wear her scars with pride today. Things were gonna be bumpy, but the thing she was most thankful for was that she was still alive and that she survived all the crap that's been thrown at her for years.

            But today, she woke up.

            And damn, was that enough for her.

i'm so sorry for giving you the saddest shit ever😭
i swear this act is almost over and you won't have to deal with the sadness no longer i promise🙏

how we feeling about the spasey scenes???? 🤭

y'all:

anywayssss
thank you for reading
i love you all
and lemme tell y'all this now

y'all are gonna hate me for this next chapter
but lemme just say
TRUST THE PROCESS
-mya </33