CHAPTER FORTY: REGARDING YOU !

15x02

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        EVERYONE WAS GETTING CAUGHT WITH THEIR PANTS DOWN. Rossi, Spencer, Matt, Luke and Erik witnessed Everett and Grace escaping in a van and getting away from the area.

Rossi tried to shoot at their van but failed as they turned a corner. "Emily, they're heading North on Fourth street. Virginia plates, KVC-0253." Rossi informs as Matt, Luke, Erik and Spencer join him.

"Okay, I've got it." Garcia has the location of the vehicle until she speaks only moments later. "Wait, the car stopped moving."

"Why isn't DC Metro on scene?" Erik questions, looking around. "Garcia just diverted them." Emily informs. "They were with us over on the other side of the trade Plaza." Matt tells. "If the car's not moving, that means they ditched it." Luke adds.

"DC Metro just landed. There's been a carjacking at that location." Garcia informs. "Damn it." Rossi curses as Matt, Luke, Rossi and Erik head towards one of the vehicles until Erik stops before he gets in the car and faces Spencer. "You need someone to back you up?"

Spencer shakes his head, "No, Casey and I have it covered." Erik nods as he hops into the SUV with the rest of their team members.

Speaking of Casey, where is she? Spencer wonders as he grabs onto his mic to speak to Casey. "Casey, what's your location?" No response. It wasn't like her to not respond right away.

"Casey, do you copy?" Spencer asks again. "Casey?" Little did he know, Casey was just shot and her blood was pouring out of her wound and that everything was beginning to get more and more blurry.

It's then that Spencer decides to rush into the parking garage. He just knows that something's not right. And his heart drops to his stomach when he sees a woman on the floor. A woman he recognized. Casey.

Spencer immediately slides next to Casey and kneels over her. Casey can only make out his silhouette as he begins to assure her that's she's okay and that help is on the way. "It's okay. It's okay. I got you. You're gonna be okay." His calming voice seemed to help soothe the pain. "Just stay with me, okay? Stay with me and keep breathing." He puts pressure on the wound with one hand as he speaks into his mic with the other.

"Casey's down. She's been hit. We need an ambulance now." Spencer informs into his mic and soon enough an ambulance reaches them.

Spencer convinced the doctors to let him ride along with them to make sure Casey was okay. She'd never know, but he held onto her hand the entire time they tried to stabilize her.

They wheeled her in on a gurney and Casey seemed to pass out after what had happened with her. Spencer watched anxiously as they hooked her onto machines and for a minute, her heart stopped beating and Spencer's world felt like it was gonna fall apart as he watched the doctors work.

Casey flatlines and they grab the paddles to shock her to get her heart going again. After one try, Spencer finally breathes after holding his breath as he hears the doctor go, "I got a heartbeat."

Spencer can't take his eyes off of Casey's unconscious body as the doctor approaches him. "Are you her husband?" Spencer finds himself almost nodding and him beginning to say 'yes' before he quickly changes it. "No, uh, her boyfriend's not here." The doctor nods at him. "He better get here quick."

Spencer finds himself beginning to worry. What did the doctor mean by that? He knew the statistics of the survival rate from gunshot wounds that run from about 73% to as high as 85%. However, it depended on the survival rate already and there is widespread recognition that a trauma victim needs proper and quick pre-hospital trauma care and immediate delivery to an appropriate trauma center to increase his/her odds of survival. It was beginning to mess with his head. He prayed that his facts that he knew were true but to be honest, he just couldn't think clearly right now.

He decided to take a spot towards the waiting room to give himself a clear mind before going to call Marco and Casey's father.

He couldn't help but feel a shadow in his presence as he walked over to the seats.

Perhaps, this was just his imagination.

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Casey was confused. She furrowed her brows as she watches Spencer walk away from her as she tries to call him name and get his attention. "Spence! Spencer!" He blatantly ignores her as she then looks around.

And now, as she looks at her body being wheeled through a hospital into a surgical OR, she's more confused than ever. As they began to operate on her body, it was all starting to come back to her now.

Trying to stop Everett Lynch and his daughter, Grace. She tried to get Grace to drop her bag but she ended up shooting her. And Spencer was the person that found her.

That explained how she got to the hospital but where the hell was she now? No one could see her or hear her. "Where the hell am I?" Casey questioned as she watched herself being prepped for emergency surgery.

           "Shot again?" Casey hears a woman's voice. It should sound familiar to her but for some reason, she just can't put her finger on where she knows this voice from. "Babe, you have got to learn to be more careful. I'm pretty sure you just beat Spencer's track record for getting shot at."

            Casey pauses as she looks around, very confused. "Who said that?" She asks aloud. "What, you don't recognize your mother's own voice?" The voice went louder and Casey then saw her.

            The angel that she was claimed to have looked like growing up. The woman she hardly knew after she was born. The woman she would've had a million questions for if she ever found the opportunity for.

              "Mom?" Casey found herself saying the word instantly.

              Her mother, Stephanie Gideon.

            Casey made her peace with her mother's death. This had to have been a figment of her imagination. She was gonna wake up any second and this would be a nasty dream.

            The older woman approached closer to Casey but furrowed her brows as Casey began to back away. "What are you backing away for?" Stephanie questions. Her tone sounded very questionable. "What the hell are you?" Casey questions as she keeps a distance between herself and... her mother?

           Stephanie thinks, "I guess I could say I'm your conscience. But also technically a ghost? I actually don't know how it works. But I am your mother. That much I know. If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would've done it by now?"

             By the sentence alone, Casey remembers the times she's made her father laugh with sentences like that and he's told her himself how much she was like her mother.

             Casey takes a sharp breath and she hesitantly began to approach Stephanie. Close enough to touch her and grab her hand. "Mom." It's then that both women are reaching for a warm hug. Stephanie smiles, as this is her first real hug with her daughter as a woman, a woman she's watched over and has grown to be super proud of. She's been wishing for the hug for years.

             "Let me get a good look at you," Stephanie pulls away as she traps Casey's head in with her hands. "You're... you're gorgeous." Stephanie smiles as she leans forward to kiss Casey's forehead. "Cassandra, my darling Cassandra." Stephanie whispers to herself as she wiped the tears that formed in Casey's eyes as she spoke to her so lovingly. All of those times she wanted, needed her mother... it felt like she was gaining all of those times in this small moment they were currently sharing.

"Dad says I look like you. I just didn't know how much." Casey told. Of course, she'd seen photos and videotapes of her mother, but never had she shared a moment like this with her. She was only a few days old when her mother died. They barely had moments as it was.

Stephanie wipes her own tears as well as her daughter's and Casey looks down towards her body on the operating table. She furrows her brows, wanting to seek answers on what the hell kind of alternate dimension she was in.

"What is this place? Where am I? And why am I standing over my own body at the operating table? I mean, I know how it happened but... where the hell am I?" Casey questions, hoping her mother may have the answers.

"You're in a dream realm. You're having an out of body experience." Stephanie answers and Casey furrows her brows once more and gulps as she asks, "Am I... dying?"

"That's for you to decide," Stephanie tells. "When you got shot and taken into the ER, your heart stopped. And your soul, basically, flew out of your body but when they brought your heartbeat back, it settled you here into your conscience." She explains to Casey.

"But my heart has stopped before and this never happened." Casey stated, referring to when she was shot in the leg and almost lost a lot of blood. It's then that she wonders if maybe she has some unfinished business to attend to. "Is there a lesson in here somewhere?"

Suddenly, the two end up back through the waiting room. "I guess you could say that. But this lesson isn't just for you. It's for him, too." Casey turns to the waiting room and spots Spencer, pacing in the waiting room after waiting for the arrival of Marco and her father.

"What? Spencer?" Casey asks. "Yeah. This is about what happened with Pinkner and that truth or dare game. You weren't lying when you told him you loved him. I know that much. You know it in your heart." Stephanie told. "And it's time to come clean about it."

Come clean about it? She's already come clean about it. Was some part of her still anxious to pursue anything? Maybe that's what it was. She was worried about what would happen with Marco and how Chris would feel about all of it. But she knew in her heart that she did love him. She had to prove it to herself, it seemed.

            Casey watched as the doors open and in walked Marco and Casey's father, James as they had both greeted Spencer. "James. Marco." Spencer spoke as he stood up. "Spencer," James started. "How did this happen? Was she not wearing a vest?"

           "She was," Spencer clarified with the two. "The bullet missed the kevlar and entered just under her arm." Marco and James have sad expressions on her face. "We were told her heart stopped?" Marco asks.

           "It did, but they brought her back." Spencer told. "I need to see her." Marco looked around for a doctor. "She's already in surgery," Spencer responded with. "It's gonna be a while."

            Both Marco and James take seats in the waiting room. "It all right if I wait with you?" Spencer asks and James immediately nods, "Yeah, of course. She's gonna want to see you, too, when she wakes up."

            "She's gonna be okay," Marco stated, as if he was trying to remind himself that Casey would pull through for this. "She's gonna be okay." James nodded, "Casey's strong. She's gonna be just fine."

            It had at least been thirty minutes as Spencer, Marco and James waited in the waiting room. Spencer had been tapping his foot on the ground anxiously as he fiddled with his hands. Marco had been grabbing coffee for himself and James and James looked to be taking a nap in the waiting room chair he was sitting in.

             During these thirty minutes, Casey had been trying to get everyone's attention as Stephanie crossed her arms, watching as her daughter failed at getting these men's attentions. "Spencer?" Casey tries but Spencer doesn't budge. "Spencer! Spencer!" She shouts.

          "You know, no matter how hard you're gonna try, you're never gonna get his attention." Stephanie tells the woman. Casey sighs in defeat, "Oh, Jesus." Casey then turns her attention to her sleeping father and approaches him.

          "Dad? Dad. Stop sleeping! Dad!" Casey calls and Stephanie chuckles and says, "Some things never change. Your dad's always slept with his mouth open like that."

           Casey sighs, "Oh, this cannot be happening. How do I get out of here? I need to wake up." The woman begins to pace. "You wake up when you learn the lesson and admit the truth." Stephanie tells and Casey looks at her mother. "Admit the truth to what?"

"That you're still in love with Spencer and you want him back." Stephanie stated. "Fine!" Casey stands straight and speaks quickly, "I'm in love with Spencer and I want him back." Nothing happens and Stephanie narrows her eyes at her daughter. "You did not mean that."

"Oh, come on! I admitted the truth already, haven't I?" Casey questions. "Not fully," Stephanie tells. "You're not lying, Casey. You still love him and you want to take him back. You should take him back."

"Okay, that's rich coming from the lady that cheated on her baby daddy with an older man." Casey bites and Stephanie raised her brows at the woman's remark. Casey doesn't see to regret that sentence one bit.

Stephanie decides to bite back a chide at her daughter and shrugs, "Okay, fair. I deserved that. But it's not about me. It's about you. Why can't you just admit it?"

Casey sighs, "Because if I admit it, my heart falls apart again, Mom. Do you know how much it hurt when I had to push him away? Because I deserved better and I chose to do better and be better for myself."
"I know he hurt you, okay?" Stephanie replies. "I remember that. But you know he's changed and he's not that same person that left prison that night. You have to know that. The man loves you."

"I know, I just... I need—"
"Time. Don't you think you've had enough of it already?"

Casey looks back at Spencer and the pained look on his face. The way he looked panicked when they brought her in. And then she looked at Marco. And right now, she wanted to get shot again because of all of the stupid decisions she was making in the past year. She hated that things were complicated and that most of the issues were her fault. She hates the positions she's put both Marco and Spencer.

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Hours passed since the surgery. The doctors had come out a few times to let them know how it was going and they had almost been done with the surgery. James had left to go watch Christopher for the time being and to make sure to get his mind off of this thing with his mother.

Which left Spencer and Marco alone. As if things weren't awkward enough.

Marco had stepped outside to take a phone call real quick and Spencer had decided to check on him when he came back from getting coffee. Marco had finished the phone call when Spencer walked out. "Hey, everything okay?" Spencer started. "Yeah, yeah, I was just checking on Giulia. My sister's watching her tonight, so..." Marco tells.

"Shouldn't you be with her? I mean, Casey's an important figure to Giulia as well, I just assume—" Spencer stops himself from speaking any longer. "I didn't tell her. I didn't want to worry her."

Marco sighs, realizing how awkward this interaction was becoming. It wasn't everyday you dated someone who's ex was so present in their life. So, instead of drudging further into the awkwardness, Marco decided to say this: "Look, I know you're not crazy about me and Casey. And I know you haven't been for a while. Actually, I know you haven't been crazy about this since the first time we were together eight years ago. But I care about her. You have to know that, I do. And I'm not like that dickbag, Chandler... or Damion... I care, man."

Spencer now sighs, "It isn't about if you care about her or not."
"Oh, it's more about the fact that she belongs with you, right?" Marco wonders and it comes out more harsher than Marco anticipated. "Reid, man, you gotta face it. She's with me. Just because you're trying to grow up out of your funk with being in love with her."

"Marco—" Spencer tried.
"No. I know her better than anybody else. When she's anxious, she pulls a strand of hair behind her ear. When she's mad, she scrunches her nose up. And when she doesn't want to talk to people, she wants to be left alone. But you and I both know that we go and check on her anyways. Reid, I'm a good guy. Don't pin me like I'm not."

Marco Rossi was a lot of things, but the one thing he wasn't was stupid. And yeah, of course, he thought he knew Casey like the back of his hand but there were a few things he got wrong. Spencer shook his head, clenched his fists but he knew better than to argue with him about this.

"Marco, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna argue with you about this. Because I know it's not what she would want." Spencer tells and he begins to head back into the waiting room but he stops in his track before that.

"Oh and by the way, her tell isn't tucking her hair behind her ear. It's biting her fingernails. Anyone who truly loves Casey knows that." Spencer snarked as he walked back into the hospital, leaving Marco dumbfounded.

And little did they both know, Casey had just witnessed the entire thing.

            After that little interaction, the doctor had walked in the minute Spencer had gotten back. "Agent Willows is out of surgery," the woman said. "Is her father here?" She asks. "He just stepped out to see our son. Is she okay?" Spencer decides to ask.

           "She lost a lot of blood, but she's currently stable." The doctor assured and Spencer took a deep breath of relief. "Is she gonna be all right?" Spencer decides to question.

           "We won't be able to assess whether or not she sustained any neurological damage until she regains consciousness." The doctor tells and Spencer sighs, "Could she hear me if I talk to her?"

          "It's unlikely." Spencer doesn't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it would have to do. He had so much he wanted to say to her. And he didn't want to spend this time limited with her. He wanted the forevers. He wanted all of it.

           So, when Spencer walked in that room, seeing her lie there unconscious in the hospital bed, his heart reached his gut and he suddenly knew what he needed to say to her. Casey's... spirit... soul, whatever, had walked into the room, standing at the doorway and looked at Spencer as he looked down at her in the bed.

         "I keep going over it in my head, and I don't know how I didn't realize you were missing sooner. I always notice. Even when I shouldn't, I still do. I'm so sorry." Spencer started and Casey's breath hitches in her throat as she approaches Spencer, standing behind him.

         "I know things between the two of us have been kind of weird lately ever since you said you still loved me. You said it and I heard it, and the thing is, I just I... I don't know what to do with that now. I mean, I know why you said it. I just don't know if maybe you meant it." That's understandable.

          "And if you did, what does that mean for us? When you didn't bring it up after the wedding, I didn't either 'cause I just I didn't know how to talk to you about it, so instead I just stopped talking to you like I do with everything else. And that is not what I meant to happen." Spencer's voice wavered as he sniffles sadly.

          "And now, all of a sudden, none of that matters. All that matters is that is that you wake up and that I get to have more time with you. And Christopher... with us. As a family... again." Spencer's voice breaks and he wipes his tears away. Casey's heart breaks as she hears the words coming out of his mouth. "Because... I can't imagine my life without you in it. Please don't leave me."

           As he spoke, the plea tugged at her heartstrings and before reaching out to touch him, she felt like she was invading in on this moment, even though it was a moment shared between her and Spencer. She ended up walking out and her mother follows right behind her, who was standing at the doorway for most of the conversation.

          "Casey. Casey! Did you not just hear that?" Stephanie questions. "I heard it, Mom." Casey tells as she sniffles. "The man said he can't imagine his life without you in it. Isn't that proof enough that you want him to love you back?" Stephanie tells.

          Casey stops in her tracks. "I'm happy about it, Mom. I am. But I can't help thinking about Marco. This is gonna break his heart because all I want is for Spencer to be there. I wanna be that happy family with him again. But instead I'm stuck in this stupid dream state."

         "Temporary dream state," Stephanie reminded. "You'll be out of it in no time. But Spencer is still in love with you. And he gave you up even when he wasn't willing to. It mattered to him that you were happy and that was it."

          Casey furrows her brows, "How do you know all that?" Stephanie narrows her eyes at her daughter. "What, you think I only watch you and Chris? I watch him, too. After all, he is my son-in-law." She takes a sharp breath. "Look, you need to snap out of it. This thing you're doing with your heart, feeling everything, shut all of that down and listen to what you desire the most. Until you figure that out, I'm going to leave you alone."

         "But, Mom..." Casey tries but when Casey turns, her mother is gone. She throws her arms up in the air. "How the hell am I supposed to figure that out?"

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           The sun was beginning to rise. No one slept. Not even Casey's mind was asleep. She sat in that hospital room, watching over her own body, knowing the choice she needed to make.

            And that choice was made when Marco came to visit Casey during sunrise with a bouquet of flowers and warming words and Casey felt... nothing. It was nothing compared to Spencer's speech to her. And she found herself wondering where he was while Marco spoke to her.

             She knew the decision she needed to make when she woke up. Casey stood at the doorway and watched as Marco held unconscious Casey's hand and spoke to her.

            Casey soon felt a presence next to her and standing next to her was her mother, meaning she finally came to her damn senses. "Did you know that you went through withdrawals as a baby?" Stephanie started and Casey turns to her mother in confusion. "Really?"

           Stephanie nods, "When we pulled you out, you were colicky. At least, that's what we thought it was. Since I got high right after you were born, your dad made the mistake of handing you over to me for a feeding and then... yeah." Stephanie tells. "Not the best parenting. I see you with Chris and wonder where the hell you got that expertise with parenting from."

           "JJ," Casey shrugs. "And Gideon, I guess."
          "You forgot Spencer," Stephanie added. "I mean, he was the one that helped you through the entire thing. You knew that you could do it if you had him at your side."

           Casey looks at her mother as she begins to walk down the hall with her. "Mom, I want a future with him. I do. I know that now. I just wish I wasn't so stubborn. What if he's not ready?" That was the main worry now. Casey knew what she wanted, but it all tied to Spencer in the end. And God, she would not blame him if he didn't want a relationship with her at all.

          "He's ready." Stephanie assures, noting to the man sleeping like a baby in the waiting room. "How do you know that?" Casey asks.

         "Let's just say there's someone that knows him a lot better than I do."

          Suddenly, the doors open and Casey furrows her brows as the sunlight peels through the surface and Casey exchanged a look with her mother, who nodded at her to go along. Casey hesitantly walks outside. The sky is bright and blue, trees healthy, flowers growing. Birds and butterflies flying everywhere.

           It's then that a simple man catches Casey's attention and she furrows her brows and squints her eyes to make sure that what she's looking at is correct. Sitting on a chess bench, her — "Uncle Gideon?"

            His beard has grown out, his hair not so much. His glasses perched at the end of his nose, so hyper focused on the game of chess in front of him. "Hey, kiddo."

             Casey hesitantly sits in front of him as Gideon begins to speak to her, trying to get the white chess piece of the queen. "I heard you were having some troubles?" He wonders and Casey shrugs, "I wouldn't... necessarily call them troubles."

             Gideon glances up at Casey and it reminds her of all of the times he used to do that even then. All of the times she'd go to bug him in his office. "How is it that you're in your thirties and it still feels like I'm talking to a teenager?" He wondered.

             Casey stared long and hard at him. He was right, she was in her thirties and still felt reprimanded when he spoke to her. It made her miss him just a little bit. And she wished that she still had a lot of time with him. She wished Christopher had the chance to meet him, to talk to him, to learn things the way Casey did. She wanted him to live out the rest of his days, happy and carefree. Of course, you know what they say, you can't always get what you want.

            "I never got a chance to say a real goodbye to you," Casey realized. "I made my peace with you dying, I just... I always thought, "what if?" I guess some part of me still held onto that."

            "And some part of Spencer held onto that, too," Gideon tells. "I knew that my departure from the BAU would've brought you closer. As well as my death." Gideon stops his game and sits straight as he takes his glasses off and looks Casey in the eye. "I know things haven't always been easy with you. No mother, no father. No figure in your life. You deserved more than that."

           Casey shrugged, "I had you."
          "That was different," Gideon shakes his head. "I wasn't what you deserved. What I'm trying to say is that... things were never easy. But I could tell... from the moment you and Spencer even met, there was that chemistry. You helped each other heal. And that's what's important. Screw the needing time to heal. You love him. And you know it."

           "What if we try it again and it doesn't work out?" Casey wonders aloud.
           "It'll work out. You've hit so many bumps in the road, you don't know where to turn, I get it. But you've got to stop living in the past and look to the future. You won't get anywhere if you do." Gideon explains and Casey nods.

           Casey takes a sharp breath and she says, so confidently — "I love him. I want to be with him. There are no doubts about it. At all. Not anymore. I love Spencer. He's all I want." And she does mean it.

           Gideon chuckles to himself, "And I called you Clever Casey." Suddenly, he makes a move on his chess board and smiles, "Check mate."

            A bright light swarms around Casey and suddenly, she opens her eyes and she's no longer in front of her uncle or with her mother. She's in a hospital bed, IV hooked into her body, machines beeping steadily.

             She woke up.

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           Spencer just remembered he woke up to someone shaking him. That someone being James Willows as he exclaims, "Spencer. Wake up. She's awake. Casey's awake." These words have Spencer waking up quickly as James pulls him up out of his seat. "She wants to see you."

           James gives Spencer a hug and speaks, "I'm gonna go get Marco and Chris, is that okay?" Spencer nods as he rubs his eyes, realizing the fact that Casey was awake and now they needed to talk.

           The minute he saw her in the hospital bed, he didn't and couldn't think of a woman more beautiful. She was in a hospital bed after being shot and she looked so beautiful. And then she opened her crystal blue eyes to meet his chocolate brown eyes and Spencer swore his heart skipped a beat.

            It looked like both of them wanted to say something but couldn't. Casey instead smiled at him and Spencer spoke, "I should have found you sooner."

           "Spence. You saved my life. Again." Casey said. "I'm glad you're here." Spencer smiles at Casey. "You're my best friend. Where else would I be?"

          Spencer stared at Casey a little too long and he decided "I think I should go home and let you get some rest—" Casey immediately shakes her head. "No. Stay for a sec." She ushers him to. She gulps, "What I said to you... in front of Pinkner..."

         "You don't have to explain—" Spencer assures but Casey shakes her head.

         "Spencer, just please shut up for a second, okay? I have to— I need to tell you. I am going to go crazy if I don't. What I said... in front of Pinkner... I said it because... I meant it." Casey told.

          "I didn't lie when I said I still loved you. I could never lie about that. And I wouldn't be lying if I said that... I wanted a chance again." Spencer looks up at Casey in the bed. "I wanted us to have a chance again. I still love you... the way I always have. And I know we aren't perfect... but I've never felt this way about anyone else before. I will never lie ever about that." She begins to tear up as is Spencer. "I'm sorry. But I need you to know that."

          Spencer is silent for the moment, understandably so. He looks at the woman in front of him anxiously. "Are you saying you... wanna give this a chance again?"

           Before Casey even has the option to tell him, Chris and Marco walk in and Chris chimes in with a — "Hi, Mom!" Casey smiles at her son. "Hey!" Marco assures to Chris to be careful. And before Casey can even respond to her son, Spencer walked out that door.

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           Emily had stopped by to get info from Casey, who told her that Grace Lynch was the one who shot her. As that happened, Spencer received an important call from his mom's new care facility and that it was urgent that he'd come in.

            When he did, his mother recognized him almost immediately and that's when the doctors explained that Diana was able to regain a lot of memory as of right now. It was temporary so it was important that Spencer spend enough time with her as he could.

So, Spencer took advantage of this and explained his entire situation with Casey after Diana had asked how she was doing now. He was confused and he guessed that he just needed some advice.

After they both grabbed a cup of coffee, they walked into the day room. "So, Casey says she still loves you. Wow. Now, that's big." Diana tells Spencer. "And, um, where does that leave you two?"

Spencer shakes his head, "Honestly, I have no idea. She says she wants to get back together." 

Diana ushers her son to sit down on one of the chairs. "And what did you say, honey?"

"To tell you the truth, I think about it a lot. I've thought about it ever since we broke up. But I told her that... I was done. And now... she said she loved me and I'm just not quite sure what any of it means for us right now. Especially since someone else is still in the picture."

Diana faces her son with a smile on her face and it's enough to make Spencer smile genuinely. "I didn't think I'd ever get to talk to you like this again. This is really nice." Diana nods, "I know. And I know it's been hard for you."

"Mom, your disease is not what defines you to me. It never has and it never will." Spencer assures to his mother. "This is precious time, and I am... so thankful for every second."

Diana nods along, "I am, too. I am, too." She looks at her son. "You know, I never talked much about your dad. When William left, it wasn't because of my schizophrenia diagnosis. You know what he said when I was diagnosed? He said, 'Diana, we're in this together and I am with you every step of the way.'"

"I didn't know that." Spencer tells.
"I know you didn't. And he meant it. But then the meds, pfft, the meds I was on, there were so many and so many side effects that I stopped taking them. And of course, my condition got worse and worse until I finally had to be hospitalized. And then it happened again. And again. In the end, it was the roller coaster, that was the part he couldn't deal with. And the thing is, even after he was gone, I kept thinking that somehow we'd find our way back to each other."

Spencer finally knew where he got it from. "You loved him." He stated. In ways, he felt like him and Casey would eventually find their way back to one another. And to be honest, even after he said he was done, he still hoped.

Diana nods, "Yes. So I waited. Year after year. And at some point, I knew it wouldn't happen. But I never allowed myself to even consider a relationship with someone else."

"You think that's what I'm doing, closing myself off to possibilities because I'm waiting for a life with Casey again?" Spencer wonders. Diana nods, "I think so, honey, life is long, and it's hard. And you deserve to have someone who will share all of it with you. All of it. Now, Casey, she had her own rollercoaster and that's why she couldn't handle it at first. But the way she still talks about you... oh, it's wonderful."

Spencer furrows his brows, "She still visits you?" Diana nods, "Oh, yeah. She brings Chris over whenever she can. And she said the same thing to me. Maybe in another life, she thought. The fact that she stayed even with your issues with me, with prison, she stuck through with you. It was just the aftermath she couldn't handle. For good reason. Remember, Spencer, she wasn't alone in that situation."

"She was pregnant," Spencer admits. "And she miscarried when I was in prison." He says sadly as Diana covers her mouth and then grabs her son's hand. "Honey, I am so sorry."

"I think she just didn't want to face that sort of life again. So she didn't tell me. And she didn't tell me so it wouldn't hurt. But now, I'm feeling that pain that she had... and it hurts. But with Casey... things just felt possible with her. And I know that we can be there for each other now. Things were bad before... but I think things can get better." Spencer explains.

"I hope so, honey, I hope so." Diana grabs Spencer's hand in comfort as she skims her thumb across his knuckles. Spencer hopes for more moments like these with his mother and he hopes that his son and Casey are able to witness these moments as well.

━━━━━━

Casey spent a lot of her time with Christopher and Marco and Casey just didn't want to let Chris go. She'd seen a lot of her mother and Gideon in him. And it was evident enough in the facial expressions. When Chris asked about Casey's wounds, she told Chris that she was defending a kingdom and received battle scars from the war. He bought it anyways.

Casey looks at Marco and Christopher and she realizes that it's gotten dark outside. "You should go," Casey tells Marco. "He need to get some sleep." Christopher looks up at his mom. "I don't want to go home. I want to be with you." He tells.

"Your mom will be home soon." Marco assures with a small smile on his face.

Suddenly, Casey hears the clicking of heels down the hall and she already knows who she's expecting. Garcia had arrived with a whole bunch of balloons and JJ trailed behind her. "Hello, hello, hello." Garcia makes their presences known.

"Penelope and JJ!" Casey smiles.

Garcia looks at the woman in the hospital bed with a bright smile on her face. "You look amazing." Casey shakes her head as she swats a hand at Garcia. "Oh, no, I don't." JJ looks at Casey. "You know what, you look alive, and that is frickin' amazing." She tells. Garcia nods, "We were really worried." Casey takes a breath, "I know."

JJ then speaks to lighten the mood. "Hey, I think I saw an ice cream shop on my way in. Why don't Auntie Penelope and I go get Chris some ice cream?"

"Yeah! Mint-chocolate chip!" Chris cheers as he hops off the bed to join hands with his Auntie Penelope. "Come on! Let's see how many samples we can get before they make us buy scoops."

"Hey, not too much." Casey tells. JJ peeks her head through before leaving, "I'll make sure. I know they tend to bounce off the walls after sweets." Casey nods as the woman and Chris have now left the room.

         It left Marco and Casey in the room. Marco sits at Casey's bedside and he has a small, sympathetic smile on his face. "Hey." He greets and Casey gives him a small smile back, "Hey."

          It's from that one word alone that Marco's suspicions are confirmed. He stands up from the bedside and stands next to the bed with his hands in his pockets as a sad expression appears across his face. Casey looks at the man and a sad expression appears on her face as well.

           They know it's over from this point forward.

          "It's him, isn't it?" Marco wonders. Casey looks at his hesitantly. She bites her lip and when she doesn't answer right away, Marco looks down and shakes his head. He's not even angry like Casey would expect him to be. Instead, he just looks sad.

         "I love you," Casey tells. "But—"
         "But you love Spencer more." Marco thought he knew Casey so well. Turns out, it wasn't the case. "It's always been Spencer. Even back then, I knew. I've known for a while." He looks away from her before looking down at his hands. "I'll be okay." He assures.

        "No, that's not fair to—" Casey tries but Marco shakes his head, "No, Casey... really, it's okay. You don't gotta worry about me."
       "But it's not fair to you. Yes, I love Spencer, but—"
       "But nothing. It's different and It's not enough." It made Marco sad that this was the reality and that he could no longer make Casey happy. But he knew this. Spencer was always the one for her. And he was okay with that.

       "Can we still be friends?" Casey wondered and Marco shakes his head as he looks Casey in the eye and tells, "I don't think I can be friends with someone I'm in love with." Casey squeezes her eyes as a few tears fall and Marco leans forward and gives Casey one last kiss on the forehead and he sniffles as he stuffs his hands in his pocket and begins to head out of the room.

         Marco turns to Casey once more before leaving. "You know, I used to called you the one that got away. Looks like you're still living up to the name." He smiles at her. Casey looks down but looks back up at him. "Hey. Rimani con l'italiano. Christopher potrebbe voler imparare un giorno."Which meant — "Stick with Italian. Christopher might want to learn one day."

          And with that, Marco Rossi walked out of the room and left Casey to continue her love journey with Spencer. That was the person she was meant to be with and that was okay. Did it hurt to let her go? Yes. But her happiness was worth so much more than carrying on a lie.

━━━━━━

           Casey woke up the next morning with the sun shining in her eyes. When she opened her eyes, the first people she'd seen sitting and sleeping next to her were Spencer and Christopher. Christopher was settled at the edge of the hospital bed while Spencer was sleeping in one of the most uncomfortable chairs in the room.

            As she stirred awake, Spencer had been doing the same thing. "Spence?" Casey asks and Spencer sits up as he rubs his tired eyes. "Hey. How are you doing?" Casey shrugged, "Still in pain. Where did you go?"

            "Uh, my mom... they said I really needed to see her. She was having a really good day. She, uh, wrote you a letter." Spencer hands Casey a handwritten letter from Diana and Casey smiles as she receives it.

           Casey looks down as she then decides to admit, "Marco and I broke up last night," This makes Spencer turn to her, almost in shock? Relief? Casey couldn't pinpoint his exact reaction. "He knew."

           Spencer then looks at Casey as he grabs her hand. "Casey, I want to do this." He tells and Casey's heart skips a beat. "But I only want to do it if you're all in. No changes. No sudden backup plans. If that happens again, I don't... I don't think I could handle that." His thumb rubs against her knuckle as he speaks to her.

          "Never again," Casey assures as she grabs his jaw between her forefinger and thumb and forces him to turn to her. "I promise."

          Spencer clears his throat as he nods at the woman. "And before we... we do our thing again... I want to take it slow. If that's okay."

          Casey nods, "Spencer, that's more than okay. I've given you all my time in the world. The least I can do is take yours." They both look towards their sleeping son, snug as a bug in a rug. They both decide that maybe right now wouldn't be the best time to tell him considering he'd gotten used to Marco and then Spencer back in the picture again. They'd give it at least a few weeks or so.

          Just like they would take this whole thing slow. It was Spencer's decision and Casey knew she needed to respect that. And regarding him, she was willing to wait for however long he needed.

guess who's sick again ahaha
buttttt good news for spasey hehehe

casey for most of this chapter:

y'all reading this chapter:

ik ik
y'all have been waiting long enough for them
i am so excited for these next few chapters
there is going to be one more episode followed by four originals i'm so excited hehehe

anywayssss
thank you for reading
i love you all
-mya </33

i hope y'all had a great christmas!