I could only watch in fear, my hands bounds across my back, as Hidan and Deidara charged at me, their teeth bared and their pride hurt. Hidan swung his scythe back while Deidara criss-crossed his arms and as he straightened them out, little bombs flew from his mouth-hands. I screamed but at the last moment, Kakazu and Tobi came to my rescue.

Thank God for those sane ones.

"Sempai-iii! Don't blow her up! Leader-sama will be so mad! And Tobi doesn't want to get in trouble - Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi whined as jumped behind Deidara and held him back by his underarms.

"LET GO OF ME TOBI! SHE NEEDS TO LEARN WHAT REAL ART IS! ART IS AN EXPLOSION, HN!" Deidara screamed, managing to throw a couple more bombs towards me. They exploded but they weren't harmful because they were a little too far away from me.

Meanwhile, Hidan was swearing profanities while dark strings tied Hidan to the floor. "DAMN THAT LITTLE NON-BELIEVER! I'LL KILL THE FUCK OUT OF HER AND THEN KILL HER AGAIN, GODDAMIT!"

Hidan's scythe was laid abandoned only inches away from his fingertips, out of his reach. I exhaled what would've been my last breath. I had never been so relieved and my heart was still hammering inside of my chest. The other Akatuski members were shaking their heads at their amateur comrades.

Tobi did not do a good job keeping Deidara in line because Deidara managed to throw bigger bombs that just flung up into the air and exploded, bits of the ceiling rock falling down. Screw my relief, I didn't want to eat rocks for dinner. Speaking of dinner, I was starving.

A small shriek leaves my mouth as a rather large boulder comes smashing to my right, about three feet away from my shoulder. Sweat started to form on my forehead.

"Deidara, don't bring the ceiling down...again," Kisame sighed warily. Wait, again?! Deidara's done this before?

Deidara and Hidan were still shouting at their partners to let them go.

"Tobi, hold Deidara down better," Kisame scowled.

"Why don't you hold him down?" I asked Kisame angrily as several rocks the size of my fist came hailing down around me. Kisame shrugged.

"That...requires effort," Kisame sighed as he shouldered what I would've assumed to be a super thick and large sword wrapped in several layers of bandages. He must've lost the sheath of the blade.

"Screw you!" I spat at Kisame. Luckily, Kisame was more of a laid back guy and didn't give much of an reaction except shoot me a glare. Next to Kisame, Itachi's nose was dug inside of his black cloak, his half-lidded eyes boring into the scene displayed in front of him.

"Do any of you guys have any sense of dignity?" I grumbled. "You're like children fighting over a toy that's already broken."

"True, true," Tobi agreed through gasps as he tried to retain Deidara.

"Oye, Tobi, you have no right to say that," I rejoined.

"True, true," Tobi repeated again with a nod of his head. He tugged on Deidara's arms again.

It was when Deidara managed to toss more bombs towards me, the rock underneath me crumpled and I screamed. My body fell down along with the rocks as I hurdled towards the ground. I watched in fear as I plummeted downwards headfirst. As the ground grew nearer towards me, I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing myself for a sudden impact of pain and dirt.

But that never came.

Instead, I felt cords wrap around my torso and on my legs. With a sudden jerk, I was pulled upside down, my body swinging furiously. As I bobbled, I realized that it was Kakazu who saved me from an impending injury or worse, death. Kakazu was glaring murderously at Deidara. His cords and strings were keeping Hidan tied up and me swinging.

"Deidara, pull another stupid stunt like that and I'll chop off your hands and sell them," Kakazu growled. "Hidan, if you don't shut up I will turn your bones into yen."

Hidan looked startled, but proceeded to grumble incoherent words underneath his breath.

"Now then. Tobi, take Deidara away somewhere where he won't take down the ceiling. Hidan, stay right there because I'm going to rip out your voice box. And you, whatever your name is," Kakazu snapped, looking at me. "just...stay put."

"Damn, I was hoping to throw a rave party," I replied sarcastically.

"And I will throw you a brick at your face for insulting my sublime art!" Deidara spat at me.

"The only sublime thing here is how pathetic you are!" I shouted.

"WHY YOU - "

"Can everyone just get along?" Kisame suggested.

"NO!" Deidara and I both snapped. For the first time, Kisame actually looked offended.

"Now now, let's not get carried away with foolish quarrels," Itachi said. Like a jutsu, everyone shushed. His red eyes gleamed ominously, sending chills down my spine. I swallowed. "Kisame, we're gone."

Itachi hopped down from the statue's finger and made his way towards the entrance of the cave with Kisame trailing behind him.

"How come everyone listens to you?" Kisame grumbled.

---

A/N: oh would you look at that. I haven't updated in like three months.

Should I start a Kuroko no Basuke one-shots fanfiction?