" Hope rises like a phoenix from the ashes of shattered dreams "  

EDIT IN MEDIA :

#SquadGoals edit made by my dearest Janvi 😍👏❤ Don't they symbolize friendship? I swear I fell in love with my own fictious gang !

*grins* 

Music Cue : Songs that'll make you weep ;)

Welcome to the peak, from where everything tumbles down ~!

*grab your popcorns, soft drinks and plop your ass on a comfy couch*

WE GO SWIRL FROM HERE ** 

......................................

The King of the universe, descended down with all due royalty. The sky broke into crimson and it was a sight to behold. It was as if he took away all the glories and lustre of life with him. Gradually as he bid farewell, he extracted every bit of colour and drained the sky of any tinge. A washed out, monotonous blanket of infinity with silver dotted clouds and few specks of stars is what remained. 

No matter what happens throughout, a sunset is a proof that endings can be beautiful too. 

"Ossy !"

The little brat kept springing on my mattress. He didn't want us to leave. 

Animals are more empathetic to emotions and situations than we humans, I feel. They sense hidden danger or a sudden shift in our behaviour very smartly. Alia used to tell me how Edward, her cat, wouldn't let her go for long foreign trips. He used to sit on top of her luggage and hinder her packing process. His meows would anyway melt her. 

Oscar if sat on mine, would crush everything but still, he tried his best to stop me. 

Looking at my lost stare, he leaped from the bed towards me. The action was so sudden and strong that it resulted in both of us falling down with him atop. 

Ouch! My back would need rest. 

"Ossy, kya kar raha hai tu ? Someone's too moody, haan ?" I asked the fellow, licking my face for apology. With my arms, I steadied us and sat on the floor with him beside. I studied his face for a while. Not everyday you get to appreciate and watch how amazing your pet is, especially if your work demands you 24/7. 

His marble round eyes were as big as my love for him. He had grown into a healthy, fur ball with amazing skills. 

I felt as if he was doing the same, studying his master after so long. He kept wiggling his tail and jutting his tongue out playfully. My hands rose out of my will to caress his head, the way he liked. He loved me nuzzling his big, soft ears. He snuggled more closer to me. Little gestures and showering of affection were enough to make him behave well. 

My eyes turned glossy at the memories we had created in this pad, our home. This was difficult for both of us. 

While I was away for shoot, my boy stayed back like a good child. He hardly gave me any reason of complaint. Our maid was more of his fan than mine. I knew this was hard for him but there's no other option left. "I know you don't like my decision. Maybe you'll hate me later. But this is for the best, buddy. You'll always be my first child. My gooood boy! Haina ?" I cooed to him. My eyes brimming with hot tears. 

A surge of love overcame and I hugged his big form, close to my heart. 

~ Chattrapati Shivaji International Airport ~

{ 7 : 30 pm IST }

Ten thousand images spiralled around my head. 

"Main phir aa gayaaaaaa!!! Mere bina sab jee kaise lete ho ?"

"Aye villain! Give him a thud! He deserves it."

"Ab main itna bhi khaas nahi hoon!" 

Our laughter rippling through the sky. 

"Hamare dosti ke naam!"

"Bhabhi mil gayi "

"Alia amar rahe"!  

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. 

It's hard to forget those who gave me so much to remember. The joy of digging deep into one's mind for golden memories is inexplicable. A wing gets attached to your thoughts. And you can fly, soar as much as you can. An incredible freedom. 

My thought cloud landed back to ground upon a flashlight that hit my face like a stone. 

Wait

Who told the- 

But how ?

Suddenly I got conscious of my surrounding. I remember packing my luggage and dropping off Ossy at a friend's place. Then we drove and reached outside the terminal. My driver had asked me for instructions and I chose to stay mum and sit inside for a while. It was all too much to take in. I had to get a grip on myself. A huge step awaited me that needed my head and heart in the right place with a sane functioning. 

Glancing to my right, I saw my driver deep in conversation, tension straining his voice. I had caused this. Sighing, I looked straight ahead to see few media vans parked across the road. Some of them were already clicking with great passion and few stood aside, calculating my next move. They certainly weren't expecting my travel. 

"Chalein, sir ?" Suresh asked with a straight face. He handled the media head well. Giving him a soft smile, I nodded. He quickly got out of the car and rushed to take out my luggage. Let's do this, I told myself. 

As soon as I got out from my seat, a strong current of air stroke me. I could see the main security officers looking perplexed at my uninformed appearance. They usually get information about our travel timings and arrivals along with few media groups who then track us down for their clicks. That's how you get your quintessential airport spottings. 

Taking hold of my bag I moved past the frenzy and camera flash. 

"Sir, please smile. Thodha idhar ...."

"Sidharth, yeh toh surprise ho gaya. Where are you travelling ?" 

Repeated chants of 'Sir' rose around me. I gave them all a meek smile and marched forward with the help of security. 

And then out of nowhere, I hit something. So hard that I rubbed my forehead. Because I kept walking with my eyes cast down. Before I could realise, I had already clashed with someone. 

Wincing, I rubbed my head and looked up to see. 

My eyes popped out. I couldn't believe. How could this happen ?

I stared at him. 

He stared me back with a blank face. 

Then as everything around went into a daze with us pretty much winning the stare game, time took a standstill. He was here. He really is. 

"Arjun ?" a feeble voice arose from me. 

He came for me ?

My face was still recovering from the hard clash with someone as tall and more stronger than me. Pain and something else had totally occupied my head. I couldn't think straight. Paps circled us for their next exclusive. We were soon surrounded by security and reporters. Everything around went haywire but things inside were more shambolic. 

Then as if getting my confused state, his arm rose and touched my chest, pointing at me. 

"YOU"  he finally broke the silence. Face still masked.

"ARE"  this time more firm. I was still clueless and so were the rest of the audience.

"DUMB !" 

A quite familiar voice spat out in a deadly yet sarcastic tone along with a slight push on my arm which resulted in me, pushed to my right. 

Excuse me ?

"What the- !" cursing loud I whipped my head to see who did it. And I froze.

Jiske bagaair it's unimaginable to live, clown of our gang yet the strongest of us all. Self acclaimed 'Best Entertainer of the Decade.' 

Ranveer aka our dearest Rannu !

I gazed at him in disbelief. 

"Bada shaana haina tu ? Kitthe going Mister ? What exactly were you thinking before taking off, haan ?" he smirked and pointed towards me. I couldn't think straight. 

"But Rannu woh-" 

"Yeh kya batayega! Let's make him say it to our faces what he wrote to us yesterday, shall we ?" cut Fubu with a lopsided grin and I knew I was in trouble. 

Holy shit! Tell me it's all a prank. 

I wasn't ready for a confrontation. 

My eyes followed where Arjun pointed and then everything around me went blank. This was what I feared. 

My breath hitched. I stared at them with an o-mouth. Everything else faded into oblivion. The noises around us littered into the back of our mind. Of course, when Rannu comes, he rarely comes alone. Instead he brings the pack with him. And this time I faced double the people in my gang! 

With additional paparazzi going insane in the background. 

They stared back at me. Some in anger, some with disbelief, and few disappointed. But they all had an invisible cloak of sadness covering them. This face off was really happening. Momentarily, I closed my eyes to control the anxiety bubbling up. Opening them, I gestured to my security. Within few seconds, they gathered more bodyguards and created a wall around just us while shooing away the paps. 

Had enough with drama. Do not need a Live telecast of this atleast. 

Involuntarily, my legs moved towards them. Brain and heart was in a conflict. Brain said 'listen to them' while heart said 'listen to yourself' and it was so hard to choose between both. Soon enough I reached the group with staggering feet. Their hard stares pierced through me, it felt. As if they held me responsible for some crime. Like I was going to commit the biggest mistake of my life. 

I might or might not.

"Rannu was so damn right. You definitely are dumb. I thought you were the smartest of the lot. But lo, what even was I thinking ?" laughed Pari in a dead tone. It had disappointment coated so bad that I wanted to hide somewhere. "How dare you leave us, villain ?!" whined Shraddha, showing her disapproval. A lump formed in my throat. 

"I thought Adi is the only duffer in our group but great, let's celebrate cause we got another!" exclaimed Bunny with a smirk, slow clapping. "Aye, zyada mat bol haan! And you -" came Adi to the front and gave a slight push to my chest, huffing like a candy deprived kid. "I really thought you were smart types. But tu toh humse bhi zyada gaddha nikla, bro ! You all used to mock me but right now I feel like the wisest one here." 

His face went all red with anger and I wouldn't dare to voice out how incredibly adorable he looked when mad. 

"He won't speak bhai log. Isse kidnap karna padega" winked Ayan as if it was the most coolest thing to do at the moment. I chuckled at my dork. An understanding look passed through them and I shuddered. They aren't serious, right ? 

"Bantaai log, kya bolte ho ? Let's get our bhai in the car" ordered Rannu suddenly coming behind me in his savage Mumbaikar slang. 

"Zor se bolo" 

"Le chalo bhai ko"

"Saare bolo"

"Arey ladki beautiful kar gayi chull !" 

What even!

The last absolutely, beautifully and wonderfully misplaced, ridiculous slogan sang high in jest by Ms Shraddha, got clouded by the increasing cheers from the boys and by then I had already landed up in Fubu, Bunny and Rannu's bulky arms, dangling! They were so true to their words. Shit.

"Ohoo! Relax, guys ? Get me down. Right now!" 

"Arey but aarohi, when they say saare bolo, we say Jai Maata Di ! You messed it up jaan" 

Has to be Aditya Roy Kapur ! Who else would be this screwy ? 

Ignoring my struggle, the rest had almost taken out there chappals/shoes to wack him. Uff, these two are legit made for each other. God bless their mental union, I prayed internally with chortle. I had almost forgotten my state of being held in the air looking at how everyone had an uncontrollable urge to punch the couple, who went equally perplexed as the rest of the airport crowd. 

"Offo yaa Shraddhu, you mixed the gender na. Focus on what we're here for bro" chided Pari with a half stupid, half wise statement. 

Gosh! We resembled a circus on a mad unleash. 

"Listen you all. Mujhe with all due respect, pehle neeche utharo, please ? I'll explain" I tried to act in peace or else I'll never be able to get down and would continue to dance in mid air with these idiots bickering and the media already recording it all. 

"Get him down you all. I need to hear his explanation" said a voice, too familiar. I looked down to spot Karan standing inside the small group we had formed with an icy cold staunch. I have no idea how on earth am I going to handle his temp. 

Listening to our elder aka Kjo, they carefully descended me down and my legs touched the ground safely. I had an urge to touch Karan's feet for saving me on time. Which I did, making him look like a deer caught in headlight. He caught me by my arm and looked at me with such steel in his eyes that I gulped. This was going to be the hardest part. 

"Now tell me which drink you had before sending me this absurd message ?" eyes firm, Karan came straight to the point. He masked his emotions so well over the years that I had trouble in analyzing what exactly was going through his mind. When he sensed my lost vibe, he called "Sidharth ?"

It's been so long since he took my first name in it's entirety. I was his Siddy/Sid , always. 

"I'm sorry Karan. No matter what all I say, it won't be enough. There had been too much happening around and I-" 

Sigh

"I'm tired Karan !"

Verbalizing my exhaustion felt so right. As if someone had unburdened my heavy laden.

Taking a deep breath, I continued "I can't do this anymore. I tried, I really did and you are a witness of that. This life is certainly not for me. I did my best. Me and my family are proud of it. Whatever little be my achievements, I did it on my merit and with everyone's support." 

"Your giving up, Sid ?" asked Varun with a grim expression. "No, you can't fool ! Eff these paps and the bullshit industry. We are all there for you" said Abhi using words we never thought we'll be lucky enough to hear from his holy mouth. "I know yaa. I'm so so so grateful for everything. Films, love and a family like ours. It's so much more than I had ever dreamt or asked." I replied with a sad smile, rubbing his shoulder. 

"But Sid you can't take such a big step like this. This is too risky. Think about it again, na ?" I was yet to figure out who all had come. This was Sonam who had rushed with the rest to meet me. God, what did I do to deserve such kind people ? 

Two palms cupped my face and turned my attention "Siddy, look at me. Film industry had always been this way. Ups and downs here are tenfolds bigger. But that doesn't make one quit. I have known you so well. You are a champ and you will come out of this, more stronger. Like you have always done. I'm so proud of you baby. I swear to Lord, you are my son. I have never differentiated between you and Varun. Maybe a bit partial to Alia cause she's the only daughter but you three are my children, blood or not. Nothing can change that equation. Not even you."

My knees gave away. I hugged my dear mentor with all my might. This was getting too harder than I envisioned. How am I going to live without them all ? 

A loud sob erupted from me and then I don't remember what happened next. We were side hugged by the rest, pouncing on us with as much love and sentiment. A group break down was the last thing I needed. I soaked up all their affection and love as much as I can cause after today, it won't be the same again. 

Something twisted with pain. My heart.

With great difficulty, I separated myself from their crushing embrace. My face would grab a 'Best Disheveled Award' at the moment because I am bloody sure of my appearance. Hair all messy, eyes shot red, tear stained face and a shaking body. 

I can't waste anymore time. I need to leave. 

Gazing around at the people surrounding me with nothing but unconditional love, my heart felt complete. Swelled with pride. This was nothing short of an achievement. Gaining friends and relations for a lifetime. 

"You know what ? I feel like the most luckiest man on Earth right now. Because I have you" A smile broke through my tear streaming face and I side cupped Varun. 

"And you" rubbing Shraddha's arm. She was hysterically crying. 

"You, my buffallo" messing Adi's hair with another fit of laughter. How quickly he became my baby brother. He tilted his head with tears springing, a gloomy smile to mirror mine. 

"And you all. Each one of you. I'll truly miss you all." Doing a slow round up, I scanned them all with a broken smile. Registering their faces for one last time. 

Suddenly my body jerked back with two of them hugging me ferociously. Our girls. They had been good with straining their emotions but then it had to flood out. Parineeti and Shraddha, I hugged them both close to my heart because that's where they resided. I've always treated both like the sisters I never had. Even though Pari nurtured another feeling for me, I never saw her in that light. 

She is the only Punjabi kudi I knew in Mumbai. Nothing would change our bond. So with my lil Shredzy. 

Through my peripheral vision, blurred, I saw him. The one whom I happened to despise and be jealous of. Who in a way paved way for me to come to this decision, more easily. In a way life played too many cruel games with him too aside his already messed up personal life. A tear dropped all the way from his orbs to his crisp shirt. I trailed it's fall. 

Slowly, I looked up at him, still consoling both the girls stuck to me. My vision was hazy but I saw it clear. 

Guilt

Pain

A flash of love

In his eyes. Clearly visible. My own eyes mirrored him. I told him that I felt it too, with us just looking at each other. That I was sorry as well. We had our own telepathic unsaid conversation and I had my heart in content, in peace, finally. 

Smiling, I mouthed "You too fubs."

He nodded with a bright smile cracking his face. Exactly like the sky back to its colour after it had closed the gates of rain. I will miss him. Afterall we could afford only two 'baba's'. And they are mine. Forever. 

Guilt and uneasiness got washed away with the waves of pure goodness and forgiveness. My chest felt light, heart smiling in return. It was time. 

Untangling myself from the crying bee's, I gazed back in a much tender way. It all felt too good to be real. I had them all. In my heart, safe and secure. "Thank you! For everything. It would take me years to express gratitude and still it won't be enough. I'm so blessed yaar. I have you all. Always. And so am I with you all, forever." Gratitude speech got ruined with hiccups, few breaks of laughter bubbling out of me and a smile so wide that it would rip my mouth, had I not stopped soon. 

"Sir, we're already late. Please come soon." My manager reminded me with herself looking grief stricken. She knew we were all too close but might have never imagined this sort of an emotional breakdown. To the world we were just a bunch of glamorous artistes but to us, we are more than mere friends. 

Ours is a bond, unbreakable, unmatchable and unconditional. 

"Karan, Appu, Abhi ... I'll have to go!"

"Vd, Ayu, Rannu, Shraddhu ... I'm leaving, haan"

"Bunny, Adi, Pari, Fubs ... guys, stop crying. Come on, cheer up. I want you all to smile and bid me farewell." Random bickering. I just didn't knew how to abruptly leave. This place, them. I'll go insane if I stayed a second more. 

"Sid, mat ja! Ruk ja yaar. You and Alia are my strength. We promised na, that we'll never leave each other. And will stick till the end. Then why are you breaking our promise ?" weeped Varun like I've never seen before. I could not stay longer. "No one's breaking any promise. I'm going away, but I'm in your heart. We three will always stay stronger than ever. Nothing can break us, okay ? Tu mat ro na yaar, you know I can't see you cry saale!" His broken laugh made me weak. 

We hugged like never before. Varun will be the most special guy out of them all because of our glorious history together. No one would take his place in our hearts. Breaking apart from him I pointed to our mentor "Dekhiye Sir, your students have graduated so finely that we now know how to cry well!" Karan and the rest broke into squeals of laughter and I made sure to capture them in my ears. It would echo even after I'll be gone. 

Give me strength, Lord. I need to do this. This is for the better. 

My foot moved back like a bruised robot. Time heals nothing unless you move along with it. This step is for our better and brighter future. I cannot hold on to the past and lament. 

Whichever tornado stuck my life, will swirl away in it's time.  

Backing off from the group urging to stop me, a swish of memories flooded my mind. Times of incredible madness, those late night parties, Ayan's underground club, sleep away's, that night after Filmfare when they all landed up in Alia's home, playing truth-dare with such gaiety, mad prank calls, dinner outings, hilarious attacks on their Jaccky Chan and Sooraj ! So many sparkling and lively memories. 

Time flies. 

So do we. 

It is not easy to detach from people you've had close ties with but sometimes it's necessary in order to restore your sanity. Your peace of mind. 

I walked like a dead man. With no energy to carry me forward, I kept walking away from them, yelling my name. Reaching the main entrance of the airport where checking happens, I stopped and closed my eyes. Tears oozed out again, fresh and bitter. Breathing became erratic, heart thumping more louder than required. 

Opening my eyes, I decided. For one last time, I need to see their precious faces. Turning back, facing them, I saw a picture so heartbreaking and fragile that it shattered mine. Yes, call me greedy for wanting this escapade, this quest in search of peace. But only at the cost of our family and friends who are so dear to us.

But wherever we be, their fragrance will embrace us.  

Getting their attention, I send a big flying kiss towards them. They smiled through their tears and Rannu enacted catching them and locking it within his heart. That brought a ripple of smile across my tired face. Heck, I'll miss this clown. 

Miming our relation, I mouthed to them in action "Chalte chalte, dekho na, hum kahan aa gaye" 

They bobbed their heads at how wonderfully we made it this far. 

"Acha chalta hoon, duaaon mein yaad rakhna. We need all your blessings. Please, please don't cry guys. I don't wanna take a somber image of Bunny or a nose leaking picture of Adi or a lifeless sight of Rannu and you all. I wish to carry a lively, heart warming, smile radiating image of my gang, my people along with me. Once again, thank you for just being in my life. Salute to our dosti, we're just the best ! Pray for us, okay ?" 

Tasting my own salty tear, I thanked my stars for giving me so much than I deserved. 

My hands arose automatically to wave at the bunch of fools whimpering. They are my fools. I wouldn't want them any other way. Mocking my 'Salute' , they sent me an army of kisses flying all the way to reach me. Ranveer stood still in his mock salute position, shedding those precious pearls, legs shivering. The guy who brought nothing but pure joy in my life had the power of breaking my being with his sorrow. Caused by me. 

Then all their hands rose up in the air, waving. With full might and strength. Sending over their love and comfort. Their prayers and wishes. That this too shall pass and we'll come out of this as the tigers we were born to roar. The sight in front will go on to be engraved in my head for the rest of my life. 

The people I chose to call my family, our media friends gasping at the sudden events, forgotten to capture what they had come for, security officers, my team - gazing with respect and a general crowd behind them. 

Love, Strength, Respect and Memories : This is what I'll take away. 

Taking in a huge breath, I gave away another priceless smile of mine. And swiftly turned back not wanting to face them anymore. If I stayed another second, I'll be running back to where I belong. Waiting for a moment, I gathered my broken courage to move ahead. Painful but worth. 'Sab theek ho jayega' , whispered my heart like a chant. It did calmed my body. 

kuch adhoora sa jo tha, poora ho jayega  

As I step into a completely transformative, brand new journey, my heart is filled with reverence for the one's who held me stronger, dear one's I just left and at the same time, it celebrates and dances with euphoria at the hand intertwined with mine, leading me to my destination. 

The same hand that strengthened my love and held me when none did, today I hold them with utmost adulation. 

To the one's we've left behind,

Shaayad phir iss janam mein, mulakaat ho na ho .... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOTE : LEGIT CLIMAX OF OUR BOOK Y'ALL ~ ! I CAN FEEL MY JOY GOING OVER THE ROOF, LMAO! 

The one admittance, confession we've all been waiting all this while since we started our ship sailing, came my friends. BUT TO CONFESS THAT IT WAS ALL REAL AND HAD OFFICIALLY ENDED! WHEN IT'S ALL OVER, IT FUCKING CAME! 

IDK whom to curse! God, Kjo, universe, heart, emotions, everyone fkin played with us! I had my heart broken twice. Still can't gather courage to watch that episode, will never watch maybe. But his confession was all over Internet and I had gripped my chest for a moment. I went numb. I couldn't breathe. All this while I've been in the bad illusion that their love never got to reach that blossom phase and before that, it got fizzed. I WAS FRIGGIN WRONG! 

THEY LEGIT DATED! LIKE A TRUE DATE PERIOD! I JUST WANTED DIDN'T WANT TO BE A  DELUSIONAL SHIPPER UNLIKE SOME BUT .... URGH! 

I had made a final goodbye thread for our #Sidlia (on both twitter and my Ranlia page story), never thought such a day would come. I fkin cried while doing that! Arghhhh! 

It was truly the most beautiful and prettiest chapter of my book ^.^ 

*sobs* 

I guess I'll do maybe the same thread, a bit longer, here in my book after we reach the final stage of completion. After all, this is the only living proof, memory left of their gorgeous relationship (atleast for me!) Let's live their love through this book. Can't believe ironically my book's name and story mirrors real Sidlia and is almost like a reminder of what we had! 

Type 'PROUD' if you've stanned and defended them with every breath! Pat your back friends!

 WE SHIPPED AND DEFENDED THE BEST ! 

In our fantasy, alternative world aka here, they'll live happily ever after :) 

I'm so so proud to have completed an update within my personal deadline period! Get ready for monthly updates. Few more chapters and we'll be done with this glorious journey of dreams :( My short story 'Love Revisited' has just another chapter left to be over along with an epilogue! 

Send in your feedback either here or on my Insta page ( ranbiraliafc) Will be looking forward. 

God bless y'all. Big love,

Jemi :)