Just as Johan had feared, Nardho and Nardhia did demand to know how his conversation with Kenta went. He deflected their question by saying their Pinean friend was unreachable and that he would try reaching out again soon, but when Clara asked him in private how everything was he could no longer deny that something had indeed gone amiss. He broke down in front of her.

"I ruined everything, Ma. I wish I had kept quiet and kept him in the dark about my feelings."

"Him?" Clara's wrinkles on her forehead deepened as she scrunched her face. "So my instinct was right. Look, Johan, I'm sure whatever you did to make your sweetheart angry you did out of fear. Fear doesn't justify angering him to the point of jeopardizing your relationship, but if he loves you as much you love him then chance is good that all you guys need is time."

"If you had an inkling about me being gay, why haven't you said anything until today?"

"I wanted to know how long you could keep it to yourself until you decided to tell me," Clara gently stroked her son's hair. "You're my child no matter what, gay or straight. I do worry about what this could spell out for your future since the world out there could be unforgiving to those who are different, so whatever you do please be careful. And no, I'm not gonna tell your dad."

"Ma, have you ever lived in a lie because you're not ready to bear the consequences of facing the truth? I mean, have you ever delayed confronting your fear because you needed to be braver first?" Johan asked timidly. "Like, you had no intention of lying, you were just buying time."

"I'm not sure if I've ever gone through the exact scenario you described," Clara cocked her head and put a hand to her chin. "But I'm a firm believer of the saying that the truth will set you free."

"Err, that depends on the nature of the truth, Ma. Spiritual truth can set us free, I agree, but a truth that could potentially endanger one's safety? I simply don't see how it can be freeing."

"Oh!" it gradually dawned on Clara that Johan was speaking in riddles. "Yes, son, if one's safety is at stake then perhaps it's best to guard the secrecy of the truth until the danger has passed."

"What if the danger will never pass?" Johan's heart sank. "What if it threatens us in our own homes and even if we do flee we have no choice but to return there at one point or another?"

"Then you can only conceal the truth for so long before all of hell breaks loose."

"Hell breaking loose is unavoidable, isn't it? We can hold off the disaster but it's still bound to happen," the teenager's gloomy expression turned gloomier. "Ma, is divorce really a sin?"

"Who am I to decide what is and what is not a sin?" Clara smiled bitterly. "Divorcing your dad will be a last resort but I'm giving you my words—I'll pursue that option when I'm out of other options. If you ever broach the subject of your sexuality with him and he reacts with anything other than open-mindedness, I'll tell him that our marriage is through. My child comes first."

"You're the bravest woman I've ever known, Ma."

"It's not bravery," Clara dismissed his compliment. "It's a deep-seated faith in the saying that love covers a multitude of sins. I love you, so if divorce is a sin I hope the Lord will overlook it on the basis that for a mother nothing is dearer than her own children. The same applies to you, Johan. You love Kenta, right? If your love is genuine then I pray that your lover's gender matters not in the eyes of the Lord. If I find out in the afterlife that He has a problem with who you love, then I swear I'll deny Him thrice before the rooster crows with the rising of the sun in the east."

"Like Simon Peter denied Jesus in the eighteenth chapter of the Gospel?"

"Aye. Exactly like that. If you're condemned eternally for staying true to yourself, then let me endure the eternal condemnation with you," she wrapped her arms protectively around Johan.

***

"He wrecked his what now?!" Aikawa's eyes widened in surprise when his niece reported to him the play-by-play of the chaos at the soccer field. "I know he has a temperamental side, but for his temper to manifest into something destructive was not something I thought could happen."

"Is he grounded?" Akira asked with a hint of concern. "Then please ground me too."

"How do we ground a boy who is already a natural recluse, Shiori?" the man glanced at his wife.

"Well, his destruction of the sound processor is bad but I'm at loss of what punishment would suit what Kenta did because you're right, he'd actually be happy being grounded. His room is his sanctuary and grounding him would be a reward. Let's see... No baking muffins for a month?"

"That could work. Alright, Shiori, now that we've discussed punishment let's discuss how to help both our son and Johan. Akira, did you say that Johan's father is a tyrant?"

"Yes, Uncle. Mr. Sitohang is not a very nice father by any stretch of imagination possible. I think that's what Kenta forgets to take into consideration in his anger. Not everyone is lucky enough to be blessed with great parents. Perhaps what Kenta needs is to talk with somebody else who comes from an abusive family to get an idea of how Johan isn't as fortunate as we are."

"That's partly my fault for not reminding him enough that he shouldn't take the blessings in his life for granted," Aikawa smiled mirthlessly, "and so this is a lesson learned for my wife and I too in how to upgrade our parenting skills to include teaching our son that he has some unearned advantages that puts him in a much better situation compared to abused kids elsewhere."

"What's the name of that boy with a raging alcoholic dad?" Shiori tapped her chin. "Aiden? Do you suppose he might be able to help Kenta puts Johan's situation into perspective?"

"I'll ask Aiden to speak with him," Akira shrugged, "since I don't see how else to articulate to Kenta that Johan doesn't really mean to do anything hurtful and is trying to outsmart an abuser."

***

It took three days for Kenta's sound processor to be fixed. To his parents' relief, the procedure of fixing it was free since it came with twenty-year warranty. The repaired processor was now equipped with a thick layer of custom protective casing, which did make it bulkier but thankfully Kenta didn't seem to mind. In fact, he jumped at the opportunity to personalize the casing.

"Could you make my casing lavender?" he had asked the audiologist during the appointment.

"It comes in all colors imaginable, so take your pick. Lavender is good. You'll stand out."

"That's what I've been trying to do more, standing out. My previous attempts of fitting in only tired me out and it's bad for my mental health. So now you know why I want the casing to be lavender. It's the color of defiance and in a way I've defied what others think I should become."

Rocking his new device, Kenta met up with Aiden at Hidamari Kaiseki. Over a giant serving of chocolate-banana ice cream, courtesy of Kaoru and Ezekiel ("it's on the house"), the two guys chatted about vegan lifestyle before Aiden took the plunge in bringing up a dreaded topic.

"Have you not made up with Johan? I'm sorry about the fall out you two have, I do, but you gotta understand the severity of the situation he's dealing with, Kenta. His father is a narcissist. Of course I've never came face-to-face with the dreadful man but I can smell narcissism from hundreds of miles away because my own dad exhibits much of the traits Mr. Sitohang does."

"And what are the traits?"

"Being convinced that he's always right and his son is never right, disregarding his son's need to develop an identity independent of his upbringing, and not owning up to the emotional as well as physical implications of his tyranny. Appeasing someone like him is futile. Frankly, you can't win against a lunatic," Aiden said with trepidation in his eyes, "you can only seek refuge."

"Are you saying that Johan is gonna use a fake girlfriend as a refuge?"

"Kind of. Imagine if your own dad is predisposed to violence and you're sick of taking his beating. Johan acts out of desperation. He wants freedom but knows that he has to be strategic."

"Ah, so that's what he meant by creating an alibi. He's gonna use the girlfriend as a shield."

"Yep," Aiden said in between licking his ice cream spoon clean, "to disguise his true self and thus mislead his dad. Anyway, Kenta, remember when I said you're hella privileged? Back then I mostly referred to your family's generational wealth but in hindsight that also refers to the fact that you have loving parents when thousands of unfortunate and troubled teenagers don't."

"Maybe I was too harsh in reprimanding Johan, then," Kenta said contemplatively, "but I still don't want him to resort to deceitfulness. I mean, if he is upfront with the girl and she willingly volunteers to serve as a fake girlfriend, then that's not as morally problematic. But to lead the girl on and make her believe that she's his one and only partner? It's so cunning. Besides, Johan can't possibly walk on an eggshell forever around his dad. Truth has a way of revealing itself."

"I apologize again for outing you, Kenta. I was a jerk."

"Come to think of it, in a twist of fate that incident probably was for the best. If I were never outed, I won't be proudly choosing to live as authentically as I do today. However, I made the mistake of demanding that Johan becomes a deviant like I am when doing so is a privilege."

"Being defiant could cost him his life," Aiden grunted, "and I really wish there's a way to rescue him from his dad the way I was rescued by moving to the boarding school's motel. Couldn't your parents take him in? Assuming Johan wouldn't say no to a helping hand."

"Taking him in is a temporary solution. Wouldn't his father force his mother or his siblings to rat out information about his whereabouts? In your case, Aiden, moving out works because—I have a hunch—your dad couldn't care less whether you're home or in the streets, but in Johan's case it seems like his father is very controlling and likes to keep him by a super short lease."

"Damn, Johan's in a pickle. Okay, let me think," the blond-haired teen fidgeted with his ice cream spoon, "what if you guys make a compromise? You could give him a deadline to tell his future fake girlfriend the truth. Let's say, ask him to break up with the girl three months after he dates her or less. That way the deceit won't drag on and on but he'd get to buy time to think about how he'll go about defying his dad without too costly of a repercussion."

"Maybe. I'll weigh the pros and cons."