"I'll be back right after New Year's," Asher said to me over the phone. He was currently packing his things up, causing our conversation to be slightly muffled at times.

"Okay," I replied, propping myself up in my bed with my laptop setting on my lap. "Just promise me that you'll do something with your mom. Take her sledding, build a snowman, go skiing. Just do something. Get her out of the house."

"I will, Bea. I will," he reassured me. "Oh, and Ben is coming in from California with Mia. I think they're going to come see you and then come Pennsylvania."

I nodded my head. "So I get to deal with Grayson and Ben at the same time?"

"I'm sorry," he chuckled. "As far as I know, Grayson is leaving, too. So you won't have to deal with them for too long."

A part of me was saddened by this. Ellie was also leaving in the next few days to go visit her family in Georgia. I'll have the entire apartment to myself. When Ben, Mia, and Grayson leave, I will really be alone. My dad was not on my list to visit this holiday because he and I haven't spoken since our dinner. Luke hasn't responded to any of my messages; and my mother is off doing her own thing. Whether she contacts me with anything, I don't know.

Me being myself, I bought them each something special. No matter how mad I can get at my family, I can't forget that this season is meant for giving. When I was younger, we celebrated the birth of Jesus more than we did when I grew older and my family started to fall apart.

I still knew the holiday belonged to Jesus, and I wished I could go back to the days when it was spent with my grandma and both of my parents. But I couldn't, so the only thing I decided I could do was to give to other people.

"Still there?" Asher asked after a moment of silence from me.

"Oh - yeah. I was just thinking about what I would do with my lonesome self," I said bluntly.

"I told you you could come with me. My family is your family, Bea," he said matter-of-factly.

"You need to spend time with your family. I'll be fine." I opened my bedroom door and walked out into the living room where Ellie was sprawled out on the couch. "I have some business to take care of anyway." The thought of dealing with an angry Luke, mother, and father, made me cringe.

"Don't do anything to get yourself in trouble," Asher laughed. I rolled my eyes at the wall.

"Like I'd even hurt a fly," I told him, accepting aloud that I was a wimp not capable of doing anything to would hurt anyone else. "But, um, can we talk when you get back?"

"Trust me, I know. And yeah, of course." I laughed at his response and wished him the best on his trip.

"I looove you, Beatrice," he drug out the word love.

"I looove you too, Asher," I replied and we hung up.

Ellie turned to look at me, pointing a finger towards her mouth to make it look like she was gagging. "Really? I had to witness all that?"

"Do you realize what I witnessed of you and Gray-" She jumped up to cover my mouth with her hand before I could finish my sentence.

"Yes, I know, you've reminded me at least fifteen times since we got back."

I shrugged my shoulders and joined her on the couch for yet another rerun of Steel Magnolias, Ellie's favorite movie of all time. I liked it, but once you've seen it that many times, it gets a little old.

But, like a good best friend, I huddled underneath a fuzzy blanket with her and watched Ouiser Boudreaux yank her hefty St. Bernard around. She was my favorite, and that was never changing.

"Why do you think Ouiser's like that?" Ellie asked quietly. Her forehead was creased, telling me she was thinking hard about something.

"I don't know. Maybe she had a hard life," I answered, pulling my feet up to tuck them underneath me.

"She's the toughest chick I've ever seen. I'm gonna be just like her."

"Really, Ellie?" It was more of a sarcastic statement than a question. "You're going to be a grouchy, hard-headed, St. Bernard owning, old woman?"

"Well," she started, sitting up straighter. "I'll be an independent, mouthy, badass. That dog will be my bestie. Unlike you who will probably be... Annelle."

"Annelle? The one with the glasses and the convict husband?" I laughed. "Yeah, I can totally seeing myself like that."

"Guess we'll find out."

"I guess we will."

We both lost our conversation as we watched the movie, locking our eyes on the characters. It was then that I glanced over at my best friend and thought of something. She was one of the kindest people I'd ever met. Ellie was raised in the south; a place where manners mattered and mostly everyone went to church on Sundays and you didn't stray from tradition. But Ellie was different; she did all those things, but she also understood the outside world.

She was polite and understanding that he made his own decision. Ellie was kind and thoughtful and I believed that we needed more of her in the world. She was my best friend, and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

*****

"Come on, Luke. I know you're in there, please open the door!" I shouted through my brother's apartment door. Inside, the TV was blaring and I could her him stomping around.

I could never relate to how people at school felt about their siblings. To them, they were annoying and nosey. To me, I just wanted one to spend my time with. But now, I'm regretting ever thinking that. Luke was annoying and temperamental and I just wanted to bang his head against the wall so he'd pay attention to me.

"I have a present for you!" I hollered, still banging on the door. I refused to leave until he at least acknowledged me. Sighing, I backed up until my back was against the wall and I slid down it, landing on my butt. I pushed my scarf and jacket away from my face to keep them from suffocating me.

About two minutes later, the door slowly creaked open. I jumped my feet and had my hand on the door just as Luke tried to shut it.

"Damnit," he muttered. I was starting to feel like some sort of stalker. "Go away, Bea."

"Please, Luke," I pleaded, pressing all my weight against his door. "I just want to talk to you."

"There's nothing we need to talk about," he answered stubbornly. Now he was acting like a child.

"Lucas!" I exclaimed, stepping back from the door and using my foot to kick it. The door flew open and Luke was turned towards me, his face in shock.

"What the hell?" He retorted. I felt my blood boiling and my face turning a shade of red from the annoyance I had built up for the last hour.

"I came here to talk to you and to give you this." I tossed the bag with his gift in it at him. "And that's what we're going to do."

Without another word from him, I began stripping off my top layer of clothes to cool down. I sat down on the same chair I had the last I was there. Luke joined me a moment later with the gift bag in his hands, limply hanging off his fingers.

"Okay," he sighed as he took a seat across form me. "What is it?"

"I really don't appreciate you ignoring me and acting like I did something wrong to you," I explained through clenched teeth. I didn't get angry like that often, but when I did, it hit me hard.

"I –"

"No, listen." I folded my hands together. "I asked you a question about the night Michael died and I guess, maybe, I shouldn't have asked you something like that."

"More like accused."

"Shut up."

"Okay."

"That's a stupid reason to ignore me for a whole week. I know having dinner with Dad didn't help, but I didn't say the things Dad did. I'm your sister, and you're my brother, so you're going to have to get used to it."

By the time I finished, I was out of breath. A small smile played on Luke's mouth. I wasn't sure what was so funny – maybe it was my unanticipated outburst – but seeing him crack even the smallest smile broke my angry streak for the time being.

"Dad really did piss me off," Luke began. "But I guess I didn't have a good reason to be mad at you. Sorry."

I sighed at his poor apology but accepted it happily. "It's okay." It was quiet between us for a few moments as we both took a breather.

"Is that all you had to say?" He asked quietly, almost shy like.

I nodded my head. "I guess. I really just..."

I wasn't sure if I should be honest with my older brother. I had wanted a relationship like it for so long that, now that I have it, I have no idea what to do with it.

"I really wanted to see my big brother." I finished.

Luke smiled at me and stood from his seat to plop down next to me. "Come here." He pulled me into his side with his arm.

"Okay, open your present."

He tore into the bag and pulled out one of my own paintings. It was abstract and depicted two people sitting at a busy bar. It was the first time we had ever spoken.

"This is... amazing, Beatrice. Where did you learn how to do this?" He took in the whole canvas. I watched as he propped it up on the stand beside him and toss the now empty bag to the side.

"I've always loved doing those kinds of things. Drawing, painting – anything that could leave a mark, I'd use it to my advantage."

And that's how our conversation started. We talked about my art; his work; my schooling; his life back in Washington. I learned almost everything there was to know about my older brother.

Except what happened the night Michael died.

That, though, would have to wait until another day.

*****

I sat on the couch two days later with my feet pulled up to me and the TV blaring Friends. Ellie had left that morning and now that is was noon, I still hadn't gotten up from the couch. Part of me was tired and the other part of me wanted to go do something to make my life a little more interesting.

As if on cue with that thought, a knock on the door drew my attention away from the TV. I pushed myself up and made sure my messy bun was still partially intact. I noticed I still had my pajama bottoms and tank top on, but there was no point in changing. When I opened the door, a smile exploded across my face.

"Mia!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around the tan California girl. She hugged me back immediately.

"Bea! I missed you!" She replied. Oh how I missed her, too.

"Hey," Ben drug out the word as he gave me a girly wave. He was only kidding, adding a laugh to my smile. I pulled him into a hug as well before inviting them both inside. "Asher told me to come see you. I know you missed me and all, but I have a girlfriend, Bea."

The cheesy grin on his face kept me from punching him. I felt a smile on my face and heat creeping up my neck and resting in my cheeks. Mia stepped up behind him and smacked him upside the head, causing us to laugh, but made Ben cringe.

I turned around to head to the living room as they followed me. "Yeah, well, Asher must think I'm going to die of boredom being here by myself. He doesn't realize that I-" I stopped myself from telling my whole back story. Luckily, Ben and Mia pretended not to notice.

Mia spoke up next. "It's not like you guys haven't gone without speaking before, right?" For it being such a touchy subject, it turned out to be more comical than anything.

"You're right." I agreed through a chuckle. A moment of silence passed through as the TV played in the background. Mia hopped up from her seat on the love seat beside Ben and announced she was making popcorn.

"So," Ben said after a moment. "Are you a thing now? You and Asher?"

"I... We..." I found it to be harder to explain what my thoughts were in my head. "I don't really know. I'll find out when he gets home." Ben nodded his head but didn't move his eyes away from mine. I grew nervous under the pressure and looked away as I tucked my legs under me.

"I sure did miss you, Bea," he told me. I could see that Ben wasn't nearly as goofy as he used to be, which I suppose was a good thing.

I chuckled. "I missed you too. How has California been?"

Ben took a deep breath and smiled. "Considering I've been there several times before for shows, it wasn't too bad. Living there has been a lot harder than just paying a visit, though."

"If it's anything like New York, I can imagine," I replied, folding my hands in my lap. Ben leaned forward and I knew that he had something important to say then. I got a weird feeling that told me Ben had changed a lot over the last few years. He's grown, matured, and maybe even lost a little bit of himself.

"Listen," he began. I felt my heart hammer against my chest in anxiety. I hated getting serious. "I'm sorry for everything that's happened between you and Asher."

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean? It's not your fault." Although not everyone had said it aloud, I couldn't help but feel as if everyone was sorry about my and Asher's break up. It was between us; he had his future to play out and I had mine. Neither of us were as prepared to deal with it all so essentially, it broke us up. So, if you'd ask me, I'd say life tore us apart. That's just how things worked. No one said it was for the better or for the worse, it just was. It just was.

"It kind of is," Ben said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "When you guys stopped talking, Asher asked me what he should do. He loved you a lot, a blind man could have seen that, but he also loved his career. I told him to focus on his career and see where he is a few years. I can see now that that advice wasn't as great as I'd pegged it to be."

"You told him exactly what he needed to hear, Ben." I stared at him as he paused for a moment. I didn't want to interrupt him, but he needed to know that he wasn't a bad friend no matter how much he thought that of himself. I wanted to hear exactly what he had to say.

"There are only two places in this whole world that I've seen him give a genuine smile to; and that's when he's on stage and when he's with you," he said delicately. I held on to every word. "To be honest, I know for a fact that if he had to choose one, he'd choose you every time. Don't give up on him, Bea."

Just like every time someone had told me that, just like every time Asher was thought that when he was saving me, I replied with: "I won't."

Mia came back in with a deliciously smelling bowl of popcorn then. I could tell by the way she creeped into the room that she knew what was going on, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the determination I had now.

She slid down into the arm Ben already had extended out for her and started munching on her popcorn. She tossed me a piece and I caught it and tossed it in my mouth.

"So," she said. "How's this brother of yours?"

So I launched myself into the story of my long lost brother.

But Asher and the possibility of everything that came with him never left my mind.

___________

The picture is of Ouiser Boudeaux and her dog Rhett from Steel Magnolias. I kinda love this movie - the 80's was probably one of the best years for movies. What are your favorite movies??

I don't currently have a song for this chapter because I haven't had time to find one. If you have any suggestions, let me know, because I love having a song to go along with the chapter!

I'm so so sorry for my very long absence. I've been mentally preparing myself for my first Prom (and my first dance in general) (which, by the way, didn't really go as well as I'd hoped) and taking care of some things with my classes for next year. So yeah, that about sums up my absence.

On another note, Happy Mother's Day to my fellow Mother's Day-Celebraters. Hope yours was cool! I can't promise anything, but I'm gonna try my hardest to keep up with updates. The school year is coming to an end for me and it's going be busier than anything. So please be patient with me. I'm a mess. And not even a hot one... haha