You Have to Be Joking (Autopsy of the Devil's Brain)
"74." Jamie said as him and Grace measured their dad, Claudia just sat on the bench and watched them. She had a lollypop in her mouth.
"Sure?" Nathan asked, he wanted to be taller for the NBA.
"Yep. 74 inches, daddy." Grace replied and Nathan sighed as he looked over at Claudia.
"6'2"." He said to her and Claudia just nodded her head. She knew that they were looking at six foot five for the NBA.
"I can measure again." Jamie suggested and Nathan shook his head as he stepped forward.
"No. It's okay. I've been 6'2" since I was 17." He replied annoyed as Claudia walked up to them, she helped her kids with the measuring tape.
"Is that bad?" Grace asked confused.
"Well, if I was 6'5", I might be in the pros by now." Nathan replied.
"What if you were 8'5"?" Grace asked grinning and Claudia laughed.
"I'd probably be dead of heart failure." Nathan replied smiling.
"Well, I think 6'2" is perfect. Heck, I'd settle for 4'2"." Jamie smiled and Nathan laughed.
"Well, you can thank your short-Pants mom for that." Nathan teased and Claudia slapped his shoulder. "Hey!" He groaned and Claudia laughed.
"Our children got great things from me. Like piano playing, right Jamie? You will do that at the talent show and Grace is going to sing Midnight Train to Georgie, right G?" Claudia asked her children who didn't look to impressed.
"Are you gonna be there, daddy?" Grace asked her dad as he lifted her up.
"I wouldn't miss it." Nathan answered smiling and Grace's eyes just lit up with happiness.
"I wish I could come with you today." Jamie groaned and Nathan nodded his head.
"I know. I tell you what ... I'll tell you all about it, okay?" Nathan replied as he placed Grace down and looked at his two kids. They then ran off and played tig and tag on the court.
"And this idea you have? It's what you want to do?" Claudia asked concerned, their was no guarantee with this plan.
"It's what I have to do." Nathan replied and Claudia nodded her head before they walked over to the car, their children joined them.
___
"Momma." Grace said as her and Claudia were sitting in the kitchen speaking, Jamie and Nathan were looking for Nathan's shoes. "Can I be a basketball player?" Grace asked and Claudia nodded her head. "No, I mean like professional. Daddy says I have the height for it. But I only ever see boys on TV." Grace explained and Claudia could feel her inner-feminist clawing to come out.
"Honey, you can be whatever you want to be. Even if you are a girl because..." Claudia explained before she grinned.
"Anything a boy can do, I can do to." Grace repeated and Claudia nodded her head. "Okay, so what if I wanted to play soccer? The coach said I was good, but I never see the girl soccer players on TV." Grace asked and Claudia nodded her head.
"We can do whatever boys can do. We are trying to solve that problem. Boys being the ones on TV the most but I can find a women's basketball game and we will all go, deal?" Claudia asked and Grace nodded her head. Claudia held out her pinky finger for them to pinky promise it.
"Deal." Grace smiled as she intertwined her pinky with Claudia's.
"We found the shoes." Jamie exclaimed as he ran into the kitchen holding Nathan's shoes. Nathan came in behind him walking. He was already to go.
"Yay! All set?" Claudia asked excitably as her and Grace walked up to Nathan.
"Yeah. All right. See you at the talent show." Nathan smiled before he kissed Claudia. Grace hugged onto him tightly.
"Go be great. Love you." Claudia replied.
"Love you." Nathan smiled before he grabbed his bag.
"Daddy. All you can do is your best, okay?" Grace grinned and Nathan nodded his head before he left. Claudia was worried for him.
___
"I don't want to come out." Jamie groaned as he stood beside the door, he was dressed for the talent show. However, he did not like what he was wearing at all.
"Come on, buddy. I want to see you. Grace is already out and dressed." Claudia called back at him.
"No, I look like a tool." Jamie muttered as he walked out to where his sister and mom were. Grace burst out laughing on top of the piano but Claudia thought he looked so cute.
"James Lucas Scott. You look so awesome!" Claudia exclaimed happily.
"I look like a penguin." Jamie moaned upset.
"You look cute! Now come over here, and we will go over this song again." Claudia instructed and Jamie walked over the piano and started to play but he missed the note.
"Sorry, I always mess that up." Jamie mumbled, Claudia thought it was so sweet.
"It's okay. You nervous?" Claudia asked concerned.
"A little." Jamie admitted and Claudia nodded her head. She knew what it was like, when she was younger she would sing on stage but her nerves didn't really kick in until she went to high school.
"Yeah, you definitely get that from me." Claudia smiled as she pointed to herself.
"I wonder how daddy's doing." Grace stated as she sat down on top of the piano.
"He will be playing amazingly." Claudia said. She was hoping that he would, in fact, she knew that he was because he is Nathan Scott. He worked so hard for basketball and Claudia was not going to let it run away from him.
___
"Man, Madison's really killing it." Chuck said to Jamie and Grace as Madison played the piano, they were all at the talent show an Claudia was sitting in the audience waiting for her kids to go on. She could hear the five year olds talking.
"I knew I should've told jokes." Jamie hissed to Grace.
"Seriously. You're hosed." Chuck replied and Claudia felt like it was her fault pushing him to do the piano. But she also knew that he was great at it.
"Chuck." Grace moaned at her 'boyfriend', Claudia was laughing a little.
"Girl, give me some room." Chuck replied and Grace scoffed before she marched off. Claudia couldn't believe what was happening they were five year olds.
"Hi." Mouth smiled as he took a seat behind Claudia, Claudia turned to face like her best friend.
"Hey! You smell like alcohol." Claudia replied and Mouth was caught.
"Really?" Mouth asked concerned and Claudia nodded her head. "Is it bad?" Mouth asked and Claudia shook her head.
"Do you have any with you?" Claudia asked intrigued.
"No." Mouth replied and Claudia pouted a little, after her kids performed and the other kids started to she was going to need some help to get through it.
"Hey! Look who we found!" Brooke exclaimed as she walked beside them with Nathan by her side.
"Hey!" Claudia grinned at her husband. She couldn't tell from her husband's facial expression if he was pleased or not. It was a mere mixture of all emotions.
"Hi, mouth." Nathan said to Mouth, who waved back to him.
"Hey, baby. How did it go?" Claudia asked Nathan excitably as he sat down beside her as they waited for their kids to perform.
"I did what my children told me to ... the best I could." Nathan replied and Claudia smiled up at him until she saw her son. Then she went full 'soccer mom'.
"Here he comes!" Claudia exclaimed happily as Jamie stood onto the stage.
"He looks so cute!" Brooke gushed and Claudia nodded her head in agreement.
"He's nervous." Claudia added as she watched her son look at the crowd in the little auditorium.
"Hi, my name is James Lucas Scott, and I'm gonna play 'the first noel'." Jamie announced nervously to the crowd of people. Claudia was worried for him. She knew that Grace would be fine because she had Nathan's confidence but Jamie was blessed with Claudia's.
"He's just got to get past this first part." Claudia whispered to Nathan.
"And he'll be good." Nathan added and Claudia nodded her head. Jamie began to play on the piano, he then mucked it up. Claudia sighed upset, she was upset for him. It was a shame because he worked so hard.
"Oh, no." Claudia muttered to herself, she felt so bad for him. Jamie had an idea, an idea that involved jokes. He turned to face the crowd of parents and friends.
"This is awkward ..." Jamie laughed as he messed up the song. Claudia turned to Nathan and laughed a little. "How's everyone doing tonight? ..." Jamie asked before he continued to play on the piano. He then stopped and turned to face the audience. "Last week, my mom asked me how I liked going to school ... I told her, 'not as much as I like coming home from it'." Jamie joked and everyone laughed. Claudia didn't know where all of this was coming from. Nathan wasn't the comedian and neither was she. "And seriously, what's with the cafeteria food? I mean, i can't tell if kids are out sick from eating that stuff, or we're actually eating the kids who are out sick. Take my hot lunch...please. And now, the big finish ..." Jamie continued jokingly making everyone laugh. He continued to play and then he finished off the song. "Something like that." Jamie shrugged. "What do you want from me? I'm 5." Jamie joked as he held up five fingers, Claudia laughed even more. "Thank you and good night!" Jamie exclaimed before he bowed and walked off the stage. Everyone was clapping and laughing. Claudia, her husband and friends stood up and cheered for the Scott boy. Then Grace walked onto the stage.
"There she goes." Claudia smiled happily.
"She looks so much like you." Nathan said in awe as he watched his daughter walk out onto the stage. Claudia shook her head.
"She has your goofy smile." Claudia whispered to Nathan and then the goofy smile appeared on his face. "Exactly that one." Claudia added as she pointed to it. Nathan tried to cover it up but he couldn't.
"Hi, my name is Grace May Scott and I will be singing 'Pictures to Burn'. I was going to sing a soulful song like my momma does but I prefer country." Grace smiled sweetly into the microphone and everyone awed. Claudia thought it was the cutest thing ever.
https://youtu.be/bWYXB0MGRNo
"I feel like this is aimed." Claudia giggled a little as she listened to her daughter sing. She was obviously singing to Chuck after what he said. "This has to be the best thing I have seen." Claudia grinned and Nathan looked confused.
"Huh?" He asked and Claudia just shook her head.
"Tell you later." Claudia answered and Nathan just nodded his head. Grace was finished and everyone clapped. Claudia, her husband and friends all stood up and cheered for her. Grace curtsied before she walked off of the stage.
___
"How funny was your son and how amazing was your daughter?" Claudia asked Nathan as she grinned so widely.
"Oh, they were goofy, like their mom." Nathan replied smiling.
"I think they were brave, like their dad." Claudia said before her and Nathan kissed. "Mmm." She moaned happily to herself as she opened her eyes to see her husband. "So, what's next with our comeback?" Claudia asked excitably.
"Well, what's next is the phone's gonna ring, and the answer is either gonna be a yes or a no." Nathan sighed worried, he wasn't filled with confidence. However, Claudia believed in him. She always did.
"It's going to be a yes." Claudia ensured but Nathan loved his wife but he wasn't sure if she was right or not.
"I hope so. But if it's a no, then this is the end of it, and I'm okay with that." Nathan replied honestly and Claudia nodded her head.
"I know you will be, but I won't." Claudia admitted honestly. "You have worked too hard to have one injury set you back and if they don't see it then they are not worth it." Claudia continued and Nathan just smiled.
"Thank you." He replied before he hugged his wife. "God, I love you so much." He sighed before he kissed Claudia's forehead.
"We are going to a girls basketball game next week." Claudia smiled as she looked up at Nathan. Nathan furrowed his brows. "Well, Grace was doubting being a professional athlete because girl athletes are not televised or talked about as much as boy athletes." Claudia explained and Nathan nodded his head.
"Cool." He replied and Claudia kissed him.
"I love you too." She replied grinning as she looked up into his eyes. "I am just so grateful you hates Lucas." Claudia teased and Nathan nodded his head.
"So am I." He laughed and Claudia joined in. "Do you believe that?" Nathan asked and Claudia furrowed her brows confused. "That if I didn't talk to you in spite of Lucas then we wouldn't be where we are just now?" Nathan asked and Claudia shook her head.
"We would have fallen in love, that's true. Our stars are lined, everything is perfect. But think about it, I would not have gotten into music that quickly and I wouldn't have met Chris. I wouldn't have went on that specific tour." Claudia explained, "I would probably would have toured with my family." Claudia added and Nathan loved when she went off on a tangent. "I would not have came back and we would not have had the reconciliation sex which got me pregnant." Claudia practically shouted like a crazy women.
"Glad we had this chat." Nathan smiled sarcastically before he walked out of the kitchen. Claudia just smiled to herself.
___
"And then he got worried, and he backed off just a half step. So, what do you think I did?" Nathan asked his children as he sat in the bed with the two of them. They both though for a moment.
"Pulled up for 3 ... nothing but net." Jamie replied, he knew he had got it right.
"That's right. You know, I'm proud of you, buddy. You took something that would've beaten most people, and you kept going with it. You turned it into something great." Nathan explained to his son and Grace crawled over Jamie to her dad.
"What about me, daddy?" Grace asked curiously and Nathan just laughed as he hugged his daughter.
"You know, you were amazing and I am so proud of you." Nathan smiled and Grace nodded her head happily.
"All right, Chris rock, Hannah Montana, I know you're still wired, but it's time for bed." Claudia exclaimed as she walked into the bedroom.
"How about a nursery rhyme?" Jamie suggested.
"Okay. But you're gonna have to read it. You want an old-School, creepy one, or a new, good-For-You one?" Claudia asked as she walked over to the book shelf.
"Old-School creepy." Grace grinned and Claudia nodded her head.
"Okay." Claudia replied as she grabbed the book and got into bed with her husband and kids. "There." She smiled as she held up the book for them. The twins looked at the book before they started to speak in unison.
"A man of words and not of deeds... Is like a garden full of weeds. And when the weeds begin to grow, ... It's like a garden full of snow. And when the snow begins to fall, ... It's like a bird upon the wall. And when the bird away does fly, ... It's like an eagle in the sky. And when the sky begins to roar,... It's like a lion at the door. And when the door begins to crack,... It's like a stick across your back. And when your back begins to smart... And when your heart begins to bleed, ... You're dead ... And dead ... and dead indeed." Grace and Jamie read out as Claudia listened. She loved when they read out the nursery rhymes to her.
Once they were finished, they turned to face their mom.
"Momma, can you sing us a song?" Grace asked hopeful and Claudia just sighed a little.
"I think it's too late for a song." Claudia replied and Nathan shook his head.
"I think it is a perfect time for a song." Nathan smiled as he walked out of the room to get Claudia's guitar.
"Okay, but it won't be any new music, that's a surprise!" Claudia whispered secretively, Nathan only knew the song lyrics. He didn't know how they went or the tune behind them. Nathan gave Claudia her guitar and she placed it around her. "Okay, so I sang this song on TV for daddy." Claudia grinned and Nathan furrowed his eyebrows. He was confused to which song it was. He couldn't remember.
https://youtu.be/d9q8vky_Z_c
(This is a video of Joss Stone in 2018 and can we just talk about how amazing she is! Her voice is just so unreal. That was I picked Joss Stone to be Claudia because one her voice isn't recognised enough. She deserves so much more then 'singers' they try to pass of nowadays. Her voice sounds the same as it is recorded, there is hardly any autotune if any. I also chose her because her personailty is just so quirky and fun and I could see her being Claudia. Lastly, I chose her because I love Joss Stone and I highly suggest you check out her music because it is not something you will regret. Comment down below what you think of Joss Stone, and if you have heard of her please let me know! By the way I typed this because I got asked this question by a reader. More story down below, sorry I went on a tangent :)))) )
"Momma. That was amazing!" Grace squealed once Claudia was finished, Claudia just laughed a little.
"Right, chums. Let's go to bed now." Claudia smiled at her two children who jumped into their own beds. Claudia and Nathan both said goodbye to their children before they stepped out of the room. Nathan wrapped his arms around Claudia's waist, a guitar was the only thing between them.
"You're amazing." Nathan smiled down at his wife, honestly. He loved every tiny little bit of her and he will forever. He will never stop loving her.
"I get it from you." Claudia replied back to her husband before she kissed him happily in the hallway.
___
Jack was standing beside Haley and Lydia in Tree Hill airport, they were finally home from France. Jack sighed as he looked down at his wife.
"Are you sure it was a good idea for us to come home without anyone knowing? Isn't that not sneaky?" Haley asked as she readjusted her handbag on her shoulder.
"That's the best part, silly." Haley grinned as she lifted up Lydia and Jack held onto their bags.
"Let's go home then." Jack smiled to them both before he kissed Haley's forehead. The three of them walked out of the airport happy.
+++
Had some much fun writing this chapter! The Q and A will be uploaded soon I promise! Hope you all didn't mind my tangent in the story, I just had to do it. I hope you all read it and just incase you didn't I will paste it down below and if you have already read it then here it is for the second time ;)
*(This is a video of Joss Stone in 2018 and can we just talk about how amazing she is! Her voice is just so unreal. That was I picked Joss Stone to be Claudia because one her voice isn't recognised enough. She deserves so much more then 'singers' they try to pass of nowadays. Her voice sounds the same as it is recorded, there is hardly any autotune if any. I also chose her because her personailty is just so quirky and fun and I could see her being Claudia. Lastly, I chose her because I love Joss Stone and I highly suggest you check out her music because it is not something you will regret. Comment down below what you think of Joss Stone, and if you have heard of her please let me know! By the way I typed this because I got asked this question by a reader. More story down below, sorry I went on a tangent :)))) )*
It's was merely just another late night rant that you all should endure. Thank you so much for the love and support. Don't forget to vote and comment. I am actually so happy to the be the Nathan Scott Fan Fiction Writer to have the biggest collection. I am so excited to do the rest of them. After exams I will start to watch season nine. I am too scared to watch it because then OTH will be over but I will do it. Don't worry though, I know what happens in season nine.
Love you all so much,
Mrs N O'Brien
P.S. Hope you all are happy that Haley, Jack and Lydia are back home! I sure am!
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