Title: These Wounds Bleed Black

Author: E.C. Millington ( ElijahCole11 )

Genre: Sci-Fi, Thriller, Action, Mystery

Chapters Reviewed: Prologue - The Spoken

𝖗 𝖊 𝖛 𝖎 𝖊 𝖜 𝖊 𝖗 : thecloudedpages

Blurb Below:

* * * * *

I. Title: These Wounds Bleed Black

Love the title. I noticed that recently I don't have a lot to say with titles so don't mind me. I feel the title works super well with the vibe I think you were going for. This feels well put together and I think it really leaves that impression that there is more to look forward to!

II. Cover

Stunning! I find it super minimalistic, but at the same time, such a neat cover. I love that it even feels like a book cover you could see yourself wanting to buy just from the cover! I think it works well with your concept and I enjoy how everything is readable, title is clear, nice font, nothing bizarre, and yeah. Also, the "ink" dripping downwards is such a nice touch and really goes with the title!

III. Blurb

The blurb is very well put together! Great work! I feel that it covers all the areas you want in your story, and it really looks like it makes the title, the cover, and the genres work so cohesively. Additionally, I will note that it does sort of come off like those cliche Middle Grade Superhero stories, but seeing this is New Adult, I think you will take this in a different direction that I seem to see it as. Just a random note, nothing too crazy.

IV. First Sentences

I am using the first sentences from the chapter "The Shadow" for my reference.

I really do like these first sentences. Not a lot to say since I just feel it works so well and really keeps the audience intrigued.

* * * * *

Shall we begin? SO. You just requested for pretty much a general look at your story so here you go!

Okay, let me just quickly say... that is a LONG prologue. Like I have seen long chapters and such, but I think this is the first time I have seen such a long prologue. My main concern with the length is that for a prologue and the length, people will probably just skip it overall which is something to try and avoid with that. Usually, a prologue will stay 3-4 pages long (an example, cuz I am reading the story right now, These Violent Delights has a prologue of 5 pages so I would say that that could be around 1K word count, maybe). My issue, again, is that a high word count for a prologue can really drive some people away. Again, there are people that will love that since it really gives them an in-depth "pre-story" to read if they are really interested. Other than that, I actually liked the prologue. I will be honest, it took me forever to read it cuz I am not the best at reading without the end of chapters being my "milestone." I will say, it is a bit bizarre type of style where the narrator literally talks to the audience, but I like new things and I feel that it makes it creative. I feel it is like a cool way to draw in your audience. Again, length will be a bit of a scare for the audience so, unless you feel all of the parts in the prologue are necessary, you could try to see where it might not need to be as long as you think it should be. I will add this, the prologue is so beautifully tragic. The events you listed were such a sensitive and heartbreaking time for people and this prologue seriously did not disappoint me with your descriptions of the events. I did pick up on that slight POV switch, not sure how it was but I felt a little 3rd to 1st I think if I remember correctly. You noted to me that you wanted to try and give that punch and I think by switching it up and being creative in your prologue, you seriously brought a new type of punch which is the creative "bizarreness" punch. If you have any other questions in the prologue, let me know! I just read through the whole thing without really taking my "notes" so yeah.

A quick note, that chapter of "Part 1" had a beautiful description! I feel that your creative aspect is really shining, and I feel confident that the first chapter will really capture your work and writing skills!

I will just write these as like notes since I feel it will make it neater. Trying new things, you know?:

Okay, that description at the beginning was just SO GOOD! "Their twisted, soaked faces spoke enough words as they helplessly watched us converse in the dark" Oh My! It. Is. Just. Too. Good. Like, even I am jealous because that description just worked so well and for a setting of New York, I feel that you are capturing it.

I can say, I do notice what you mean by the slow burner. I do feel this chapter was quite slow and just descriptive (which for me, I am all for that since I love descriptions), and I think it would need a bit more to keep the plot running because otherwise, people will be driven away from it. I understand you have a specific format, but especially the first chapters, they need to carry out the punch. Especially on a platform like Wattpad, if you don't catch them right away, they will just move on to a similar book that will satisfy them.

Your grammar is really good! Just wanted to note this for you, just in case you asked. :)

What I noticed in this first chapter is your writing style and descriptive nature. To see Ghostshadow felt exciting and refreshing to see this. What I like is that your chapters are not just fully descriptive, you add more dialogue focuses and keep the audience in the dialogue instead of constantly moving them away from that state of mind.

You showcased personality and the interactive aspects of Ghostshadow which I adore to see early on in a story.

I will say this again, it is a slow burner. I know you mentioned to me that Part 1 is more of the description matter while Part 2 is where everything picks up, but I will mention this to you. Within what I read, I am noticing the plot moving but at a slow pace. Specially to label it as Action and Mystery, I feel these need to come a lot sooner than you think since it is what people are expecting from the story. I am very intrigued by the story and your descriptions seriously keep me around to keep reading, but I do think you might be doing a little too much written-wise rather than action-wise. Again, I don't know what will happen after Part 1, so I am guessing the action really picks up from there. What I will advise is that even though it is split up into 5 parts, you have to understand that Part 1 better raise the bar or bring a strong punch because that is the part that will keep your audience around to witness the next parts after. Up to you how you feel with Part 1 since it is your body of work, this is just my suggestion while analyzing your story.

* * * * *

Now for my takeaway. I like to keep these short and sweet for you to be able to come back to and just quickly see what you might want to take from this review.

1. Improvements to help:

a. Development on packing-a-punch in very crucial areas (Part 1)

b. With the idea of it being a slow burner in mind, try to add more Action or at least super strong eeriness to your story just to keep yourself safe from the audience to stop reading it.

c. Optional: Prologue is SUPER long for a prologue. If you like it the way it is, by all means go with it. But my opinion is that it was just long to read, and I feel you don't want to risk the audience just leaving right then-and-there.

2. My personal opinions of the work:

a. I liked it! The descriptions were beautiful, and you really brought the story together beautifully. The aspects with the setting and developing your themes and atmosphere is really working for me!

And that is all I have to say. I really enjoyed my reading. If anything, you can message me through PM or through here (you will have to tag me for me to get the notification) for any additional coverage that you would like me to discuss. That is all from me for now!

Have a great day and hope you enjoy this little review of mine!