Title: Stardust Of Us

Author: justagaki 

Chapters Reviewed: 1-4

Cover: It's pretty simple with a random couple centered on it. I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of it. Nothing about it really draws me in. While it's good for the teen fiction genre, I do wonder if there's a better image you could use to show the relationship between the two instead of a zoomed in image of their faces about to kiss. This is only a personal preference though, so feel free to disregard. I just think you could use a more interesting image to capture what your story's about.

Title: I really like the title! It's unique and gives me nice teen fiction vibes with hints of romance sprinkled in.

Blurb: Your blurb is very well written. I like how it gets straight to the point with a nice length. It gives enough information about Danae without spoiling anything for us to wonder more about what the story will be about. However, I do feel like you should also add a little bit of information about Matthias. He's a very important character to the story, and might I add, an intriguing one to read about! I don't think you need to add much, but just a small mention of him would be nice. Before reading the story, I honestly had no idea about him.

First Impression: I expected more generic teen fiction vibes before jumping into your story, but was pleasantly surprised! I don't think I've read a story quite like yours before on Wattpad, and I'm really enjoying it. While it focuses on teenagers, it's during that life stage where they're just about to become adults, and that's such an interesting topic to write about. Worrying about disappointing parents, wishing you could escape your hometown, and figuring yourself out in the world are all things I'm sure many people can relate to. And coming from a small rural town myself, I totally understand that feeling of being trapped in one place.

Chapter 1: Where do I even begin? I have to commend you on writing such a hooking and engaging first chapter. I think what I loved most about the chapter was your immersive descriptions. At times, I felt like the rain was right outside my window. The realistic feel of this also had me more intrigued, as I could imagine this family's roofing business being an actual place and almost forgot I was reading a fictional story.

Matthias feels trapped in his town while his friend is enjoying himself down in Florida. The rain probably only wore him down more, and with his father still so hopeful for their town and eager for business, it must make him feel even worse about his desire of getting away. He shows no interest in their business, which is understandable. Not everyone wants to follow in their family's footsteps. While Matthias shows us how they're not a perfect family, I do see how they love and care for each other. It's such a refreshing view on family, having a little tension in there of feeling estranged yet also showing how they do care for each other. It just really honed in on that realistic touch.

That scene with the woman wailing about her roof definitely felt like something that would genuinely happen. I do understand and can relate with Matthias' annoyance with her, yet I also understood her perspective of being afraid of the rain damaging it. I live in a town that rains quite a lot and we've had our moments of needing roof repairs and leaks.

It was so kind of his father to decide to head out there anyway in the storm, as that could've been quite dangerous for him, more than normal of course, yet he knew he had a job to do. Which I really respect him for. I feel like even Matthias felt the same way, yet even with their bit of tension in the family. I do wonder how things are going to go after he messaged their latest client to check up on their roof. It was so subtly done there, with him needing Matthias to check on their client since he damaged his phone. He really needs to keep it in something waterproof if he's gonna work out in the rain like that!

Chapter 2: Danae's perspective is so much different from Matthias and felt like such a unique breath of fresh air to read about her! It was interesting seeing her interact with Matthias yet also message him about their roofing. I found it hilarious how neither of them seemed to fit the pieces together. Although, with Matthias I suppose he just couldn't care enough to learn their client's name. However, I am surprised that Danae doesn't know who Matthias's father is. At least, she didn't seem to know. If she did realize it was him, I didn't catch that while reading and found it more amusing how the two of them have no idea how they're talking to each other.

It was nice seeing Alfred from her perspective, as he's shown to be such a great guy. Her own parents have some tension in the family as well, a lot worse than Matthias it seems. Sometimes small, rural towns can really weigh you down, especially as a teenager and you see your friends getting away. Danae's dad seemed like he'd be a pretty kind guy until I got to read more about him and realized he's putting the pressure hard on Danae to study so she can do well and get out of their town. It was even more interesting to see how he doesn't like their town. He only stuck around because of her mom and her business.

I am curious to see how things go between her and Matthias now, especially with him messaging her from his father's roofing business. With them both wanting an escape from the town, I wonder if they'll ever make it out or find a way to enjoy the summer with each other. If they don't kill each other first. xD

Chapter 3: Not much happened in this chapter, as it was mostly exchanges between the two of them via text messages. Yet those texts also provided some nice comic relief and really had the two getting to know each other more. It's still so funny to me how they don't realize who they're actually speaking with.

Normally, I'd discourage from showing both perspectives in the same chapter, but you made it work really well here without it making the flow choppy or confusing. After Danae fell asleep, you easily transitioned back into Matthias's perspective while he's out wandering around the town. I really liked seeing the contrast between the two of them here. They're both stuck in this town and wanting an escape. While Matthias has lived here his whole life, Danae hasn't, and it has me curious how long her family's lived here. It seems like her dad never really wanted to move here to begin with, and makes me wonder if this was her mom's idea or maybe even her mom's hometown that she wanted them to settle down in.

Chapter 4: I really liked seeing this side of Danae with her passion for reading and getting lost in the main character's world. Definitely relatable there! The exchanges between her and Matthias are hilarious, especially when they come so close to each other but don't realize they've been speaking to one another via text this entire time. I feel like it'll be a hilarious moment when they realize who they've been talking to and wonder just how they'll find out, seeing how clueless they are so far.

The text messages have been a great way to see these characters develop and somewhat pour their hearts out to a complete stranger. It's quite funny, and I wonder if they're either both trying to figure out who they've been talking to. If Matthias really wanted to know, he could probably pull it up from his father's records for the business or just come right out and ask him. But where's the suspense in that? I also wonder why Danae doesn't know they're related. Wouldn't they have the same last name? Or maybe not, and I missed that somewhere? If so, maybe she just doesn't know Matthias well enough to know his last name but I find that a bit strange, considering they're in such a small town, but I know Danae's not from there originally. So maybe that explains it? She just hasn't gotten to know everybody well enough yet.

While Danae's parents are more neglectful and tend to ignore her, I can sense how both of them want to escape this town. It has me curious where this story will take us and if these two will ever get away. There's always the possibility that college could take them elsewhere, and with how Danae studies so hard, I wouldn't doubt she'd be able to get scholarships for somewhere she'd love to go. It's been interesting juggling between both their perspectives and how they feel about both the town itself and their families.

Characters: I'm going to focus on the two characters who appeared the most, which were Danae and Matthias, but I also wanted to put a little focus on their folks as well. Just because I really found the family dynamics interesting in your story.

Danae: She's your normal teenager, just trying to do her best in school to make her parents proud and has a love for reading. It's probably a great escapism for her, being able to imagine somewhere other than her hometown. With how much her parents travel, I can understand why she'd feel stuck. During the summer, you'd think they'd actually offer to let her come along with them at some point, but that doesn't seem to be the case. They'd rather her stay home.

I can't imagine how frightening that had to be for her during the storm, all alone with a damaged roof. It was a relief that it got fixed, but I'm sure it made her want to get even further away from the town. I am curious to see if she'll be able to get away from it in this story, even if it's only for a mere summer trip.

Neither her mom or dad seem close with her, in a sense that they probably view her as mature enough to handle herself, so they leave her alone often. Her dad really puts the pressure on her to do well in school, and easily sours her mood just when I thought he'd end up being a decent parent. Her mom seems less intense than her father, yet I still sense she doesn't spend enough time with her as she should. Especially when it comes to their trips. Danae makes it clear how she'd love to be able to go with them if they'd just offer, but they don't. They let her be the house-sitter instead.

Personally, I really enjoyed reading about her! She's got such an easygoing, relatable personality that just makes her a joy to read about. Seeing her interact with "Mr. Alfred's son'' in the text messages is just always so hilarious to me, especially right after she's gotten done talking to Matthias. It's gonna be such a shock when she learns just who she's been communicating with this entire time.

Matthias: I'll be honest, I think he might be my favorite. I really vibed with his personality, if that makes sense? He felt like such a genuine teenage boy. I could picture him perfectly and loved getting to know more about him in his perspective. While his family situation is nothing like Danae's, I understood that bit of a rocky relationship he's got with his father and the business that he couldn't care less for. In spite of that, I can tell he still admires what his dad does though, but he'd rather just not have any part of that.

Seeing all those photos in Florida from his friend really had him envious and wishing he could escape their town. And I don't blame him. Living in small places like that after a while can become suffocation, no matter how lovely they may seem initially. I'm also curious to see what he'll do and if he'll be able to get away from their town. I doubt he'll want to take over his father's business, but I can't help but wonder if his dad might try pushing that on him a bit later throughout the story.

I feel like his character will be really interesting to see develop and grow more throughout the story. It has me curious where his priorities will lean toward later, like if he'll eventually get away from their town for college maybe or end up sticking around for his father instead. Because I know that'll be a difficult decision for him.

Overall thoughts: This was such an enjoyable read! I really liked getting to know more about both Danae and Matthias. One thing I noticed when I reached chapters 3 and 4 is how you started to combine their perspectives together. This was mostly personal preference here, but I feel like it worked best when you kept one POV per chapter. For instance, how you kept the main focus on personal thoughts to Matthias in chapter 1, and then with Danae in chapter 2. While it split up well in chapter 3, I have to admit that it did come across as more like a "head hop" when we got into chapter 4. Unless you're trying to write this in third person omni (which it really didn't feel like it), I think it would be better to keep the focus more on a character per chapter, but that's totally my opinion! I also feel like it could work well if you keep them like you did in chapter 3, where Danae's perspective was the first half and Matthias's in the second half.

Despite that minor little thing, I honestly loved this story. Your immersive descriptions had me hooked and I really liked how you made the town itself a character. While it seems like such a lovely place, seeing it from both Matthias and Danae made me realize just how much a small place like that could weigh a person down after living there for so long. Perhaps places like that are enjoyable to visit for vacation, but not someplace you want to live long term. Rural towns, especially ones like Regnum, can be much harder to get away from and I can understand how the teens might feel trapped there, so to speak.

Overall, I don't have much of any complaints with your first four chapters because I found myself thoroughly hooked by the premise and writing style! The only little thing I feel could use improvement would be that little "head hopping" part I mentioned above. While it's not an issue to deter the reader, I do feel like it would be a smoother transition to keep their perspectives more like how you did with the first two chapters. Keep a focus on one character's thoughts/feelings per chapter. Let them take turns, I suppose.