Title: october leaves

By: binge-writing

Genre: Poetry

I'm so sorry for another short review, but as I've said on my profile, I am nowhere near a poetry expert. You will get a short review with a few tips and mistakes I found, I'm sorry, but that's all I can really provide! 

Cover: 98/100

A super simple cover, yet it works so perfectly! I love the font, and you can already tell you're in for some inspiring words! The only reason you got a 98 is because I think the subtext should be bigger, just because when your cover isn't close up, it's very hard to read.

Blurb: 80/100

I'm not in love with the fact your blurb is the same as the preface. A blurb should more be focused on the contents of the book, and while your preface is beautiful, it should be only the preface. Not only do you not want to repeat yourself, I think it would be beneficial to have some information about your poems as a blurb, with you adding your inspirational touch, ofc.

Let me start off with your special requests: Enjoyment and Impressions…

I absolutely loved this collection of poetry. It's beautifully written, full of captivating phrasing and figurative language, and it leaves a lot for the imagination to interpret.

With that being said, everyone interprets poetry differently, so some of the tips I'm about to suggest may only help readers that understood it the same way (or at least similar) I did!

Grammar: 98/100

As always, grammar doesn't apply normally to poetry, and I didn't see any major stretches that really needed to be addressed. Look out for typos though, I'd definitely do a quick proof-read.

Flow: 80/100

Your flow took such a blow because in quite a few of your poems you seemed to be more focused on making pretty, even lines than making sure that you were breaking up a phrase in a way that wasn't awkward. A whole lot of lines were pieces of phrases that just didn't work on their own.

Some Examples in "Resistance":

Stanza 4:

Samuel watches as she takes an 
ascend
And she thanks him, unaware that 
her byes
Mean nothing to him, for he will 
wait down
As she will come back, for to rise
again.

It just seems that when you break apart the lines, it's random. It would make a lot more sense if you broke them up where there was an actual pause, like when you have a comma. Of course, doing this on a few lines would jeopardize your pretty layout, and you'd have to convert the entire thing, but it also seems like the structure within this entire poem is a bit random too. I get that it's free-verse, rules don't apply, but that doesn't mean it has to be unorganized.

Edited:

Samuel watches her ascend,
And she thanks him,
Unaware that her byes mean nothing to him,
For he will wait down,
As she will come back,
Rising again

I'd also like to take this opportunity to address the wording of your poems. I love the Shakespeare type vibe, but a lot of the phrases seemed like you added extra words for the heck of it. For example, "for to rise again." What exactly does that even mean? It of course ties back to what I said about interpretation, but there's a lot of this specific poem that wouldn't suffer from some simplicity.

Poem by Poem Analysis:

on and off: This Poem is an introduction to the following section of poems, which, I'm not quite sure how it relates to them, but it's still captivating to read. The last 3 lines however: "making her leave but she comes back home to writing." doesn't fit it's elegant context. It seems so simple, especially compared to the norm of your poetry style. I'd definitely revise this sentence to make it more fitting.

Editing suggestion: "and she leaves, only to be called home by writing."

Rumplestiltskin's plea (There's a typo in the title of yours): I have no critique to offer for this poem, and it was truly beautiful!

the resistance: all my comments for this one were mentioned above^^^

blocks of Bombay: Another stunning poem, but there were a couple typos I noticed. *Canvas, and if the "their" at the end is supposed to be "they are" is should be "they're".

praise the pleads: This is by far my favorite poem in part 1! The repetition of the last lines in the stanzas is a warming reference back to some classic poetry techniques. I absolutely love the messages within this poem, and the writing is beautiful, flows well, and is truly captivating!

Overall Opinion: 95/100

 This is truly beautiful poetry. I find it hard to read poetry, and most of the time I steer far away from it because, tbh, most writers just aren't good at it. The last reviews I've done on poetry though have definitely proved me wrong, and I absolutely enjoyed reading the words you've put on (digital) paper! There are a few flaws of course, and I'm sure you can fix them up in no tidea, but otherwise, I don't think you really need all that much help to progress a successful poetry! Keep up the great work.

Thanks for choosing as a reviewer, and hopefully I didn't make a complete fool out of myself due to a lack of poetry knowledge. Also LMK if you have any questions!

—Cyprus