Title: Diamondback

Author: Chewy ( ChewyTheChupacabra )

Genre: Dark Urban Fantasy, LGBTQ+, teen fiction (MATURE WARNING)

Chapters Reviewed: Prologue - Chapter 1&2

Blurb Below:

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I. Title: Diamondback

A, I think, simply title but I can't quite piece it. I love it though and it really does seem that it will play a role in the story. For anyone wondering, a Diamondback is a North American snake with diamond markings. Not sure if this is going to be the symbol you are going for since I am going based off of the title, but I like it!

II. Cover

It is simple, though. Here is the thing, I don't see anything bad with it. Like the font contrasts the background, the words are not blurry, and the eye adds eeriness to the story; but the cover is not anything extravagant. Still works, don't get me wrong!

III. Blurb

Short, sweet, straight to the point. Though it is a lot shorter for a blurb than I would go for, it does get its point across. I would recommend, however, that you spend more time with the blurb and build up anticipation and interest for readers to fall in love with the story right away. It is a completed story so it should be fine to do this. Okay, quick note, the part that says "I see you" ... I need some context with that. Like maybe add more dialogue in it because by itself, it is off-putting.

IV. First Sentences

I am going based off of the first chapter's first sentences for this. It is quite intriguing. Though this is a fantasy story, and you could have enhanced these elements, the first sentences have many action verbs, and you slowly add in that artistic element in. What I like is that although it is not like "I have to know what is going on" for the readers, it is constructive well with each other to cohesively convey the tone.

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Shall we begin? SO. You just requested a general look at the story so I will do my best. I will also show more on the artistic approach with your story since I love fantasy, literally writing in the genre all the time.

The beginning of chapter one is beautifully done. What you did is that you allowed the setting and condition in the present to set the atmosphere and even cohesively correlate with the main character. What I adore is that you do short sentences for quick and crucial moments which is exactly what works best. I will say a quick note, when the character is thinking something, you put it in italics (in the mind) and quotations (out loud, even if it is whispered). At the beginning of the chapter, I could see what the character's condition, mental state, etc. are in. Well done!

Another good note is that you kept the story in the past tense which you stuck with, well done! The story continues on and gets quick and active, perfect for drawing in your readers. I know you asked me to find any feedback but overall, it is just minor grammar errors and making sure you use italics for when someone is thinking. You portrayed the main character trying to neglect the reality of the situation, quickly think of all the answers to find the solution and added emotional lines that were quite chilling. I can't really think of anything else I didn't like about the story, and I am very proud of you. Let me know if there is anything specifically you want me to enhance on, I am kind of low in my brain function right now lol, with the artistic approach but overall, I think I said what I wanted to say.

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Now for my takeaway. I like to keep these short and sweet for you to be able to come back to and just quickly see what you might want to take from this review.

1. Improvements to help:

a. Overall grammar (it is not severe and minimal)

b. The cover could be done with a cover designer if you want (we have a lovely community of Graphic Designers that work really hard. The one I go to especially for dark fantasy is: Lueur (Lia) in Dreamland Graphics) since it will really attract more people to such a beautiful piece of work.

c. Develop the blurb a bit more since it needs some more context and elaboration done.

d. I am not sure if I caught this or not, but I am not seeing where the Diamondback is supposed to be a reference for. Yeah, that is all I can think of.

2. My personal opinions of the work:

a. I loved my reading! It is just up my alley with the dark fantasy, and I absolutely love your artistic nature in the approach. I am currently writing my Dark High Fantasy right now, so we have that similar in writing and our vision with artistic writing. What I mean is that I will for sure be sticking around to continue my reading!!!

And that is all I have to say. I really did enjoy my reading. If anything, you can message me through PM or through here (you will have to tag me for me to get the notification) for any additional coverage that you would like me to discuss. That is all from me for now!

Have a great day and hope you enjoy this little review of mine!