Title: Cupcakes To Kill For

Author: Kitty Kat ( AliKatMeow )

Genre: Mystery, LGBTQ+

Chapters Reviewed: Part 1 - Chapter 3

𝖗 𝖊 𝖛 𝖎 𝖊 𝖜 𝖊 𝖗 : thecloudedpages

Blurb Below:

I. Title: Cupcakes To Kill For

A clever title! I love how it is a play on wording when someone says something is so good that it is "to die for." So this title is just overall very clever!

II. Cover

Not a lot to say except that the cover is gorgeous! I love how polished it looks and how all the texts are clear to read, as well as symmetric with the cover as a whole. It definitely gives off a horror comedy type of vibe.

III. Blurb

Love!!! It is a perfect blurb that really doesn't need any modifications. I feel that it has a good length to it, as well as a proper wording to it and the sentence lengths look good! It has a sense of informality which I feel is working beautifully with where the story could go.

IV. First Sentences

... Alright! I really see this story's strengths are major in the beginning. The first sentences are powerful, intriguing, and I can see the work put into perfecting the story. The first sentences work beautifully, and I really don't have a lot to say except that everything looks strong and well developed!

Shall we begin? SO. You just requested for pretty much a general look at your story so here you go! I am going to go for a bit more like a notes style since it has been working best for me.

Firstly, the description within the story is so beautifully crafted! I love how everything cohesively flows together and I find it quite beautiful with your storytelling.

What I do like is that you really take into account the setting/atmosphere. Now I will say, it can come off excess at the beginning but I feel that you craft it beautifully by cohesively talking about the atmosphere as it interacts with the main characters.

I love that we get to see bits-and-pieces of some of the characters. For example, we got to see Old Harold and how much he "hates children," as well as some examples of such.

Personally, I do enjoy less dialogue in stories when it is more atmospheric elements driving the chapter and I feel that you execute this perfectly in Chapter One.

Regarding Suspense Buildup, I can say that you do have a buildup for the most part. At least looking within the first chapter, I can notice a buildup, and then it sort of pauses itself with the dialogue, and then keeps going on when Casey sees the young man. My only thing is that the buildup is predicted. For a buildup to feel suspenseful, it is good to allow the audience to question this buildup since the suspense comes with questions. When you put the part, "It wasn't like someone would come shoot up the bakery, right," the suspense can get lost since this is quite cliche.

You do have very good use of emotional elements as well as descriptive imagery which I enjoy when they work cohesively.

Your horror elements are really coming through within the 3rd chapter! The chapter title and overall development within the story was perfectly done! I really don't have a lot to say, sorry hahahaha, and I am very satisfied!

Overall with my reading, I do think that the story is already very well-written. Nothing in the story really strikes my attention to some mishaps. Small things like Wyatt's more realistic reactions (making them more child-like), or just overall understanding in dynamics of the story has come to my attention. Other than this, I don't think your story really needs heavy editing and if anything, I commend you for being so versatile in the elements of emotional aspects within characters, but also how the atmosphere around their bakery affects character's actions.

Now for my takeaway. I like to keep these short and sweet for you to be able to come back to and just quickly see what you might want to take from this review.

1. Improvements to help:

a. Look at Suspense Built Up section for the proper analysis

2. My personal opinions of the work:

a. I really did enjoy my reading! I think your story is very well-written and I don't see major errors. You really should be proud of yourself for this writing!

And that is all I have to say. If anything, you can message me through PM or through here (you will have to tag me for me to get the notification) for any additional coverage that you would like me to discuss. That is all from me for now!

Have a great day and hope you enjoy this little review of mine!