(content warning: bullying and mild lgbt slurs)

Friends.

His heart panged as her words repeated over and over in his mind. Were they ever just friends? Shinji closed his eyes as memories flooded back.

{ three hundred years ago }

"Ha! I have my mighty zanpakuto and ya can't stop me!" A young, middle school-aged Shinji held a stick in his hand as he faced Ayame, who was also holding a stick.

"We'll see about that!" Ayame said as she charged.

The two clashed sticks a few times before Ayame kicked Shinji's legs out from under him, pinning him on the ground with the stick to his throat.

"I win. Again. If you wanna be a Shinigami, you're gonna have to be able to beat me, silly." Ayame stood and helped the boy up.

"Thanks for always trainin' with me, Aya."

Ayame ruffled the boy's blond locks. "Of course, Rako."

The two walked through the forest back to their houses in Rukongai.

"Are you sure ya don't wanna be a Shinigami with me? We could be together always!" Shinji asked his friend.

"Maybe. I don't know if I'd enjoy fighting."

"But you're so good at it! Plus ya can make things move with yer mind!" Shinji said excitedly.

Ayame's eyes widened and she clapped a hand over Shinji's mouth. "Shhh! If people find out about that, I'll have to become a Shinigami."

{ two hundred and fifty years ago }

"Don't peek! You'll ruin the surprise," Shinji, in his late teens, said as he held his hand over Ayame's eyes. He left her through a field, filled with wild flowers of every kind.

"Where are you taking me?!" Ayame laughed. "I can hear running water, are we going to the river?"

Shinji took his hand off Ayame's face to reveal a picnic set up by the water, with the field of flowers painting a lovely background.

"Rako! You set all of this up?" Ayame asked, kneeling on the checkered blanket.

"Yes, ma'am!" Shinji grinned. He sat on the blanket beside her. "There's another surprise." He pulled a bottle of sake from behind his back.

"How did you get this?!" Ayame asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I, uh, have my ways," Shinji said, opening the bottle and pouring her a glass.

Ayame rolled her eyes. "So it was stolen. Not sure why I'm surprised," she laughed and snapped one of his suspenders. He was never one for traditional clothing.

"It was well worth the risk," Shinji replied, grabbing Ayame's hand and kissing it gently. Ayame's cheeks tinged pink as Shinji pulled her closer to him.

"So the queer can swing a lady with all his fairy antics. I'm shocked."

The pair tensed and looked towards the source of the voice.

"Can't ya just leave us alone for today, Niko? We're not botherin' anyone!" Shinji called to the older boy, who was smacking his hand with a club.

"But where's the fun in that? It's all about the element of surprise!" With that, four other boys dropped down from the trees.

"Ayame, run!" Shinji told the girl. "I can handle this."

Ayame grabbed as much as she could from the picnic and ran towards the field. She turned back to see Shinji fighting his best but still being restrained by one of the boys. Niko was winding up a punch.

She dropped the picnic items and ran back over. "Shinji, look out!"

"Hiroto! Grab her!" Niko ordered.

Shinji used the distraction to swing out from the boy's hold and jump out of the way as Ayame made a large branch crash down, knocking Niko on the head. The other boys saw what happened and rushed to Niko's side. Shinji and Ayame made a break for it. Once they reached the clearing, they stopped. Shinji collapsed on the ground, panting.

"Hirako! Are you okay? They didn't hurt you, did they?" Ayame asked, leaning over the boy, examining his thin body for injuries.

"I'm okay. But holy shit! Yer amazing. Ya saved my life," Shinji said, out of breath. "How can I ever repay ya?"

Ayame smiled. "I'm sure there will be a day in the future when I need saving."

"I hope that day never comes," Shinji said, staring up into Ayame's light purple eyes. "Now where were we?" He pulled Ayame down on top of him, wrapping his arms around her, still breathing heavy. He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head gently.

{ two hundred years ago }

Shinji and Ayame sat on a branch of the highest tree in all of Rukongai. The sun was setting, painting it's orange light on every inch of the world.

"I've never cared about anyone the way I care about ya, Ayame," Shinji said, breaking the comfortable silence.

"You're my best friend. My rock. My everything," Ayame responded, touching Shinji's cheek softly.

"Aya," Shinji whispered. I'm leaving. But the words didn't come.

Shinji cupped Ayame's face in his hands and studied her face, taking notes of every single detail.

"Over a hundred years and you still can't work up the courage to kiss me," Ayame teased.

"Oh, Aya," Shinji smiled softly.

"Kiss me, silly. I know you've always wanted to."

She was right. Every time he looked at her he wanted to kiss her. But he couldn't. How could he ever be worthy of such beauty? But this was his chance. If he didn't seize this opportunity, he'd probably never have it again.

"Ayame, I, uh," he stumbled over his words. Good bye, my love.

He nuzzled his nose against hers, then kissed her with every ounce of love that had been stacking up inside of him for the past century. She brought her arms up around his neck and pulled him closer. Their lips melted together.

{ present day }

"Why couldn't I have had the courage?" Shinji asked himself.

She would've waited. Decades, even centuries, for him. He knew that. But he didn't want her to risk her life, and he didn't want her to wait for him in case he was unfortunately killed on duty. He had convinced himself it was better that way. Now, he wasn't so sure.

Throughout his schooling, he learned and trained for her. During his countless missions, he fought for her. She was the reason he fought and made himself stronger. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to be the best for her. Then life happened. He was promoted to captain and flooded with neverending work. Slowly, through the years, his reason for everything faded from his mind. Shinji cursed himself.

A knock sounded on his door, tearing him from his thoughts. Shinji rose from his futon and slid it open a crack.

"Urahara, come in."

The shaggy-haired blond stepped inside.

"I came by to see how you were doing. You don't look too good," Urahara said, scanning his friend up and down.

Shinji slumped in a chair and gestured for Urahara to do the same. "We talked today."

"And?"

"She asked me why I didn't come back for her, and I held her while she cried."

Urahara chewed on his lip. "I see."

"She said she wanted to be friends again."

"That's good! At least she's open to rebuilding the connection!"

"Kisuke, we were never just friends. It was deeper than that. We had an unspoken bond. Just hearing that word drives the dagger deeper in my heart."

"I understand that, but maybe Aizen leaving is a good thing. She opened the door to you, take the time he's gone to show her how sorry you are and maybe she'll ditch the guy. I saw the way she looked at you last night. If I were to guess, I'd say she's regretting being here with Aizen just as much as you are."

"Ya really think so?" Shinji asked, a newfound hope in his heart.

"Hope is not lost, my friend. You have Yoruichi and I on your side, too. No matter what Aizen pulls, we'll always have your back. For what it's worth, I'd be devastated if I saw her with someone I despised. She knows it too. She may be mischievous, but she's my good kitty. She always comes back to me at the end of the day. The soul always finds it's way back to it's perfect pair."

"Damn, look at ya, soundin' all romantic 'n shit. I'm grateful for ya. Seriously," Shinji grinned.

"Trust the process, my friend." Urahara stood, walking towards the door. "And if you ever need to let off some steam, you know who to call."

"Seeing as this process is gonna take a while, I'm definitely down for a round two of last night. With or without the sake and blue lotus."

Urahara winked. "I'll relay the information to Yoruichi-san. She'll be thrilled." He stepped out of the room. "Oh, and Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

"Try and get some sleep."