sometimes wake up holding shape in suspense

did gutter catch ball before fielder did?

if yes peeking there from shadows shingled

on silence— baithook form of breathing with

hands queased in pockets like fish in redtides.

was it boredom doubt or distrust that cut

earthworm in two to see if it's true they never

died when divided but bided then multiplied.

go get from gutter twenty rupees rubber ball

that bursting revealed salt inside as if tears dried—

only small whys fending off claws of big whys

like civets scuttling on roofs scared by redder eyes.

ball's red hope caught reeled in— can i play too?

handed over to cold— maybe next times. go back

to shadows and silence remembering red hope

chafing against slow flow of gutter's low tide

in quiet sense of acquiescence as if tears drying.

~ ajay

11/7/2022