but inside we're safe -

the driver-uncle tufts

of hair swirling out his ears

reassures us of the world

~ "second shade" by ajay kumar

because i can't accept myself

i reject everything else.

watch livestreams of funerals

to learn to mourn instead of whine.

to remember that the first fossil

of humanity lived around death.

few days ago my father showed me a photo

and asked, do you remember who this is?

the name dangled from my eyelashes before

diving into my dry mouth.

he's dead, he said.

my first memory is dead.

my death is the only memory

i can't have all to myself.

i forgot him but i didn't forget

the poem i wrote around him.

i'll write poems around me

and feign immortality.

because my words are an updating epitaph

because my grave is the time

my sarcophagus of space digs up

until i reject myself and accept

everything else.

~ ajay

7/10/2022