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Aurora ☪︎
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Chapter 21:
No Need to Sing Kumbaya [Edited]

"I had a crazy dream," I whisper to Theo, who's already in the middle of changing. I keep my gaze elsewhere, trying to give him some privacy but he seems to not care much about that. Somehow he woke up earlier than I did, but fell asleep after me.

He finishes slipping on his shirt before directing his attention towards me, leaning on his dresser. "What about?"

"The crash related dream," I reply softly and he instantly knew what I meant. I didn't care for it at first, I mean they're just dreams after all. Now that I get them more frequently, I can't help but think something's wrong with me.

"Were you dreaming of the same thing?" He asks curiously, folding his arms over his chest as he leans in slightly to listen. He's listened to most of my dreams, knowing that it makes me feel better when I talk about it.

"No. Well kind of yeah, but this one felt different. This was different." I pause, trying to gather my thoughts before speaking so it would make sense. "I was in the hospital again, I know it was my mom's voice while she was talking to me again. But this time I woke up."

"What do you mean woke up?"

"Like, like I opened my eyes. My eyes were open but I couldn't see. It was all blurry but at the same time I could kind of figure out which figure was who. But then there was something there that just made me close my eyes again, and then I think that's when I woke up." I try to explain, but feeling a little frustrated that the words aren't coming out the way I want it to. I can't even make sense of what I'm trying to say.

Theo doesn't say anything yet, all he does is frown. He has this whole thinking face on as he intently stares at me, which makes me squirm slightly. He seems to notice because he suddenly stops the staring and decides to pace around his room, picking things up here and there.

"I think you're having some kind of trauma from the crash, Aurora. Didn't you have a concussion?" He asks, but I know he already knew the answer to it. I nod anyway. "I think you should see a doctor, get it checked out."

I immediately shake my head in protest. It hasn't gotten super serious yet, I don't need to go. "That's not- that isn't necessary."

"But it is." His frown deepens, raising his voice slightly as if that'll get his point across. "You keep getting these dizzy spells, weird dreams, headaches."

I snort at his list of things that are wrong with me, the only real mildly concerning thing is the dizziness. "You forget that I'm an insomniac with poor hydration habits. I'm not going to spend hundreds of dollars for them to send me home with what? Over the counter headache meds and telling me I'm over exaggerating and being too worried."

Before he gets to say anything else I quickly continue on to further prove my point. "Everyone has crazy dreams, hell I've had dreams way crazier than this. I get four hours of sleep on a daily basis, if my body doesn't get affected by that then I'll be worried. As for the dizziness, I probably don't drink enough water, that's all."

"Look." He gives me this gaze of what seems like dissatisfaction, and that he clearly disagrees with my thought process. "Isn't it weird that it's only happening right now? The hospital dreaming, being dizzy, all of it. I'd rather you be safe than sorry, Aurora."

I sigh, running a hand down my face in frustration. I know he's trying to help and he's worried, but he's being too worried for no reason. "How about, if I experience any of those things another few times, I'll go to the doctor."

He bites his lip, probably seeing that I no longer want to debate on this before nodding to my compromise. "Seriously, three times and that's it okay? If you're lying I'll bring you to the doctor myself."

"Yeah, yeah," I say dismissively, waving a hand at his  empty threat, trying to lighten the mood a little. "But I promise, I'll really go if it gets to that point. You can count on it."

He gives me another hard look, as if he's trying to spot out any indication that I'm lying. In all honesty, you can tell if I was lying or not, it's so obvious I might as well carry a sign that has LIAR in all bold. "Okay. Do you want waffles? I can make us some while you get ready for class."

The mention of waffles immediately makes me perk up as I quickly nod, already getting out of bed. "Oh do I." He laughs at my reaction before leaving his room to head to the kitchen. I stay behind to grab some of my things to get dressed.

I end up being done before he finishes breakfast so I decide to help him cut up some fruit as sides. I turned out with a big bowl of various kinds of sweet and nutritious delectables. Theo wanted me to make some extra for his friends too for when they wake up.

"You know, " Theo starts off while taking a piece of fruit right out of the bowl, not letting me get a chance to dish out the servings yet. "I can help with the bug thing when you're done with class, so your friends won't need to drive all the way back down to campus. I mean it's the weekend anyway so they won't have any classes for a couple days. I'm sure they wanna spend it with their family."

I start scooping some fruit into some smaller bowls, making sure I fulfill Theo's request of having extra strawberries in them. I pause to think over his suggestion, shrugging as it's not a bad idea.

"You're not wrong... Emrie did say she wanted to spend more time with Irene. I also don't want Nisha to spend over an hour driving back not even 24 hours into staying with her parents. I'll text them about it."

I text the group chat, knowing I'll most likely get a response from Nisha within the next half hour or so. She's usually about to get up at this time for her classes. I want to text them early enough so they don't end up coming back for no reason. I wait a few moments for a response, but not surprised when neither of them have read the text yet. It's only six-thirty after all.

Theo finishes up with the waffles, only using half the batter to make enough for the both of us and a couple for Vincent. Apparently, he's supposed to wake up any minute now. I decline the bottle of syrup he tries to pass me, but instead taking the whipped cream and making sure I fill in all the holes with it. Syrup makes my waffles too soggy and into mush, especially because I'm a slow eater.

"I'm probably gonna leave a little early to get to class today." I start cutting up my waffles into strips as I talk. "I need to talk to Matthew. It's been weeks since he's talked to me and it just doesn't feel right to know he's avoiding me. I don't want him to hate me."

Theo nods understandingly as he sits next to me with his own plate, drenched in syrup which makes me cringe. I had told him what happened over the phone during our break, how Matthew confessed to me right before our date. He took it pretty well, not being upset about it or me not telling him sooner.

"He doesn't hate you Aurora. He probably feels embarrassed and upset that he put you in that awkward position, but he doesn't hate you. The guy was practically ready to beat me when I was taking you home from the party, remember?" I crack a smile at that, knowing how ridiculous it was. I wouldn't know what to do if they ended up fighting each other.

"Well, I hope you're right-"

"What's up lovebirds." I get interrupted when Vincent comes strolling in, shirtless with basketball shorts on. Even though it's still dead winter and pretty chilly in the apartment, he doesn't seem to mind it.

"Morning." I pipe up, giving him a wave before going back to eating my food. I decide to ignore his little nickname for us, not wanting to be opening that topic of conversation up this early in the morning.

"Really Vin, shirtless." Theo groans, looking around before picking up a shirt hanging from a chair and chucking it at him. Vincent, who's in the middle of rummaging in the fridge gets hit with the shirt which falls on the ground.

"Rude." I scold in which he just shrugs in response, not caring.

"At least somebody here sees this unfair treatment I'm getting" Vincent laughs lightly before picking up the shirt. "Don't get your panties in a twist, I'll put it on."

"I wasn't even- never mind." Theo mutters under his breath before shoving a fork full of fruit in his mouth to shut himself up. I can't help but giggle at that.

"Theo made extra waffles if you want some." I point out, the poor dude is struggling to pick what he wants to eat. He perks up at this, whipping his head to the counter, seeing another plate with multiple waffles stacked.

"Oh, you shouldn't have!" Vincent coos, throwing him a dramatic air kiss before getting a plate out and helping himself. Theo grumbles something about how he really shouldn't have, and we both laugh at that.

We end up talking about various things, a party included in the mix, as well as Theo's family coming to visit him next month. Apparently it's some kind of late New Years party one of the seniors are throwing and it's clear that Vincent is going. He ended up convincing Theo about it as well. After a while, he convinces me too. Turns out that little while was a little too long and I became late to class.

My original plan of talking to Matthew before class goes down the drain. I'm rushing into class, out of breath while they're in the middle of a lecture. A few people notice my presence, but most ignore me while focusing on taking their notes. I take a quick scan of the room, my usual spot being empty but that's not what I'm looking for. It doesn't take me long to find the familiar blue-haired frat boy. Having your friend have highlighter hair makes it much easier to find them. 

I hesitate for a moment, unsure if I should sit next to him or not. He hasn't noticed me yet, which is the perfect chance to sneak up on him. The moment I sit down his head immediately snaps up to my attention, a surprised look on his face.

"Can we talk after class?" I whisper hopefully. I feel too  nervous to talk loudly and I don't want to draw attention away from the professor. He doesn't answer me, avoiding my gaze which prompts me to continue talking. "I won't take too long, I just want to ask why you're not talking to me so I can fix it." I can practically hear the desperation seeping out of my voice, but despite how pathetic I may sound, I don't care if that means Matthew decides to talk to me.

"Okay," he responds, and that's all he says, but weirdly it's good enough for me. He goes back to paying attention to the class and I pull out my things to do the same. I would occasionally glance at him, to see if I can find any emotion that indicates how he feels about me, or just in general.

As soon as class ends, Matthew quickly packs up which makes me copy his actions, getting worried that he changed his mind. "Um so, we can talk outside." I interject, reminding him that we need to talk.

He simply nods and gestures to me to go ahead and he follows my lead. Even though the walk to the exit isn't that far, it's the slowest walk I've ever experienced. It feels weird to not be talking to him, and he's known to be the talker in my little group.

"We can stop here," I say, turning around to face him. I take this chance to get a good look of him, nothing different really stands out to me. He looks like the same Matthew I saw a month ago, besides the fact that he isn't talking to me.

"Can you just explain to me why you're ignoring me. Do you hate me or can't stand to be around me anymore because of the... When you said you like me." He visibly cringes back at the last few words, which makes me feel like they're foul words that I shouldn't have said.

"Of course I don't hate you." He sighs heavily, as if this information was obvious. "I'm just embarrassed that I got rejected, that's all."

"So you just ignored me for a month, simply because of embarrassment? I would try to text or talk to you but you would avoid me or give me some generic answers. I thought our friendship was better than that," I say firmly, feeling a little hurt that this was all because he was embarrassed. We aren't just acquaintances, we've built up a friendship these past months.

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. I can see the guilt and regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I've just never been rejected before so I don't really know how to cope with that. You had also started dating Theo not too long after my confession and it made me feel like an idiot."

I frown, not liking that he degraded himself like that, but also realizing how bad the timing of it all was and understanding how it must have been really awkward. "You're not an idiot... I get that it was awkward for you and finding out that I started dating someone a week after you confessed. I swear I didn't mean to do it on purpose, we had already planned the date a week before. Everything aside, can I have my friend back?"

He doesn't hesitate to answer, immediately nodding. "Duh, I've been missing my sleeping beauty friend too," He replies softly. A giant smile appears on my face, and for once I'm glad he's using that princess joke. "I'm sorry, again."

"Forgiven, I'm sorry too." I come in for a hug in which he wastes no time hugging back. We break apart after a moment but he still has this unsure look on his face. "What? Don't tell me you're regretting it already," I joke nervously, not sure of what he's feeling.

"Oh no! It's not you, it's just." He pauses, his cheeks starting to get a little red. I tilt my head waiting for him to continue on. "Does Theo not like me anymore, because of my whole confession thing? I don't want us to have any awkward tension whenever I see him or anything."

I snort, that's what he's concerned about? "You don't need to worry about that. Theo is still cool with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, do you wanna find out next weekend?"

☪︎

"We made up," I tell Theo as he helps me clean up the bugs in my room. Nisha and Emrie both agreed to stay where they were for the weekend, seeing as it doesn't make a difference whether they come home today or back on Monday. Besides, it doesn't take all of us to clean up.

He glances at me before moving some of my things away. "That's great, I told you it would all go well."

I pause, deciding to be a smartass. "You technically only told me that he doesn't hate me."

He rolls his eyes, scoffing at my comment. "Well it was implied wasn't it?"

"Hm, I suppose. But anyways, Matthew is also going to that party next weekend. You guys should you know... Hang out there or something. He still kind of thinks you don't like him cause of the confession thing." I offer up, hoping that he'll do it. I don't want them to have some kind of awkward tension when the both of them bump into each other.

He gives me a hesitant look, thinking about it before shrugging. "Sure? I mean we weren't exactly best friends in the first place so I don't really know how awkward it's going to be."

"Who knows, maybe this is your guy's chance of having a stronger bond... Through the feelings you have for me." I joke nervously, which he offers a sarcastic laugh back. "But seriously though, you don't have to be alone with him and sing kumbaya. Casual small talk is fine."

"Okay, I will."

Happy Saturday! I completely forgot that it was Friday but here's an update.

Stay safe
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Love, Jess