Idk why I decided to use "Dream" instead of his real name in this it just happened at 3am.

I actually proofread this so yea.

⚠️this is an angst, it contains self harm and mentions of abuse, so if you are easily triggered by this please don't read⚠️

Thank you DaddySteveHunny  for the request!

...

I was at Dream's house, we were watching a movie, but I couldn't pay attention.

Though Dream had an arm around me I managed to hide how fast I was breathing. Something had triggered me, badly. I could feel anxiety rushing through my veins, I could feel the strain in my arms.

Everything was going fine until a certain point in this movie when something reminded me of how I was abused.

When I was seven, my father physically abused me. He would yell at me and hit me. As I grew older it got worse. He would throw things at me and scold me whenever he had the chance. My mother would try to stop him but to no avail. She would end up getting hurt too.

I was brought back into reality slightly when I heard a gun shot come from the tv, it startled me, causing me to jump a bit. Dream giggled beside me. "That scared you?" He asked as he looked at me. "Woah, are you alright Y/n?" He asked, turning his full attention to me. He must have noticed my panicked face. "Yeah, I'm fine." I smiled up at him, it was my best fake smile. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?" He smiled comfortingly at me. I nodded and looked back to the tv.

But my vision was clouded by images of my past, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't just sit here and take it anymore, I had to do something. I had been suppressing my emotions for so long.

"I'll be right back." I said as I made my way from the couch out of sight in the dark house. "You don't have to pause the movie!" I shouted as I turned the corner and grabbed my small purse from the kitchen table before going into the bathroom as I heard a small "Alright!" From Dream.

I turned the light on quickly before closing the door and locking it behind me. My heart rate was going up more and more as my breathing got heavier.

Things started to get hazy as I fell on my hands and knees, coughing a bit as my throat was dry and it felt as if it was closing up.

I opened my purse and unzipped a small secret pocket inside. I pulled out a razor blade, trying to get my eyes to focus on it, but everything was still too hazy.

I sat up against the bathtub as tears started to roll down my cheeks. I took off Dream's hoodie that I was wearing and set it aside as I didn't want to ruin it.

I held the blade in my right hand as I cut my left arm, feeling relief and yet more pain at the same time. A quiet sob escaped my lips as the voices in my head taunted me and told me to cut more and more, and I listened.

I was at my breaking point, I couldn't hold anything in anymore. I tried to suppress a sob but to no avail, it was loud, followed by more sobs. I had tears streaming down my face as I dropped the blade to the floor, letting my bloody arms fall to my sides.

I heard several rushed knocks at the door. "Y/n, what's going on? Are you okay?" He sounded panicked. I couldn't respond as my body was shaking and more sobs escaped my lips as I wiped some tears from my face with the back of my hand.
"Dream," was all I managed to choke out.

I heard him say something but I couldn't make out what it was. The door burst open and Dream rushed to me, he fell to his knees in front of me and looked at my arms. "Y/n!" he said, putting a hand on the side of my face and wiping my tears with his thumb.

I hung my head low, my breathing still heavy. He lifted my head again, and I avoided looking into his eyes. "Y/n," his voice was calm. "Look at me," his voice was still the same comforting tone. And I blinked away more tears as I looked up at him. "Take deep breaths, okay?" He asked.

He took a deep breath in and out, but I couldn't seem to manage. "Here, give me your hand," he said, and I placed my hand in his as he brought my hand to his chest, gingerly holding it over his heart.

"Breathe with me Y/n," he looked into my eyes and took another deep breath, I could feel his heartbeat with my hand, and I could see the comfort in his eyes, and soon I calmed down more.

"Alright," he said, and he brought my hand back down. He sat up on his knees, still holding my hand as he put a foot on the floor, steadying himself to stand up. "Can you stand up?" He asked, and I nodded, though I felt so weak.

He helped me stand, but he picked me up and sat me on the bathroom counter gently before going into the cupboard under the sink and getting a med kit.

I was still crying and my body was trembling, as the wounds on my arms stung. Dream set the kit on the other side of the sink. He turned the water on and put his hand under it to test the temperature quickly.

He held out his other hand to me, looking me in the eyes with comfort. "Let me help you," He said in a gentle voice, I let out a breath and closed my eyes, causing more tears to spill as I held out an arm out to him.

With each arm he carefully cleaned the many cuts and wrapped them in bandages, and once he finished he put some things back quickly and hugged me tightly.

"Y/n I want you to know that you're never alone, I know I've told you this so many times, and I wish you would have told me about this." He said, rubbing my back.

My arms made their way around him as I hugged him back, burying my face in his chest. "I'm sorry, I just didn't know how to I'm so sorry-" I was cut off by a quiet "shhh"

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize, we all go through rough times, but we don't have to go through them alone, okay?" Dream's soft voice comforted me as I cried, and I felt a hand on the back of my head as he ran his fingers through my hair, sending chills through my body, but they were the nice kind.

I nodded as I pulled out of the hug and wiped my rubbed my eyes. He lifted my chin lightly with his finger so our eyes would meet again. "You're so beautiful, Y/n, you should never have to go through anything like this." He said. He knew of my past, as we have been together for around a year now. But something inside me just couldn't tell him about my self harm.

"I have scars too," he continued, rolling up one of his sleeves and running his finger along a very faded scar to point it out. I looked at his arm and wondered why he would ever need to cut.

"I was bullied a lot in school, so I cut myself to cope as I didn't have any friends. That was when I was around 15, but that was also the beginning of high school, and that's when I met George online, and we started gaming together. After a while I told him what was happening, and he helped me so much and asked me to promise him to not cut, and to go to him when I felt the urge. And I listened, and thanks to George I stopped cutting." He explained. 

"That only sums it up though." He finished as he rolled his sleeve back down. "Y/n, please promise me you'll come to me when you need help, or you feel like cutting."

It was going to be hard to stop cutting, but I need a way out, and I'm so lucky I have Dream here to help me. "Okay," I said before hugging him again, but this time wrapping my legs around him too. He hugged me protectively, comforting me as we stayed like this until he spoke again,

"It is pretty late, so why don't we call it a night and go to bed. Movies can wait, we watch them all the time anyway." He said as he picked me back up off of the bathroom counter as I rested my head on his shoulder. "Thank you Dream." I sniffled.

"I'm always here for you Y/n, no matter what." He said as he walked by the living room to shut the tv off before walking to his room, and setting me on his full sized bed.

He walked over to his dresser and grabbed something from it before turning off the light and walking back over to his bed and handing the thing to me. I took it and discovered it was another one of his hoodies. I pulled it over my head and stood up and hugged him again. "Thank you." I said. "Anytime," he replied before we got comfortable under the warm blankets. (Dude I cant write oka)

I rested my head on Dream's chest, his heart beat lulling me to sleep as he had his arm around me.

He started humming a familiar tune, one that I recognized to be Hometown by Twenty One Pilots.

I felt him kiss the top of my head before he whispered, "I love you Y/n."

|(￣3￣)|

Bc I said so