Chapter Six


The café was warm, the smell of freshly brewed coffee mixing with the scent of baked pastries and sweet syrup. Beatrice sat by the window, the pale light from outside softening the edges of everything in the room. The world outside seemed distant, almost dreamlike, as people walked by bundled in coats and scarves, their laughter and chatter muffled through the glass.

She took a slow sip of her coffee, the heat spreading through her chest, grounding her in the moment. It had been a long time since she had taken herself out like this, deliberately choosing solitude over the constant hum of work and obligations. But today, she needed it. She needed space to breathe, to think, and to confront the swirl of emotions that had been building inside her since she met River.

When Beatrice had imagined her twenties, she had always seen herself as independent, fiercely so. She'd pictured herself traveling, focusing on her career, spending quiet nights in her apartment with a book or a game. It had been a comforting thought—a life lived on her terms, where she didn't have to rely on anyone. No one to answer to, no one to disappoint her. Just her, in control.

But now, as she stared out the window, watching couples stroll by, children running ahead of their parents, and older couples walking arm in arm, she felt something shift inside her. It wasn't that she didn't want to be independent anymore, but there was a growing part of her that longed for something else. Something more.

Since meeting River, she felt like she had strayed from that vision of her life, and the realization unsettled her. So much of her time and thoughts had been wrapped around him—around the way he looked at her, the way he made her laugh, and the way her heart raced whenever he was near. She barely knew him, yet he had taken up so much space in her mind. Was it worth it? Was he worth it? The question tugged at her, refusing to leave her in peace.

She set her coffee down and leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes for a moment. It wasn't that she regretted meeting River. If anything, he had awakened something in her, something she hadn't even known was there. But as much as she liked him, as much as she felt the pull toward him, she couldn't help but wonder if giving him a chance meant giving up the version of herself she had always envisioned.

Was she ready to change? Was she ready to let someone in, to share her life in ways that went beyond the casual flirting they'd shared in the office?

The thought of it scared her. She had built her life around the idea of being self-sufficient, of not needing anyone else. And yet, here she was, sitting in a café, her thoughts consumed by a man who made her feel things she hadn't planned for. A man she barely knew but who had somehow managed to slip past her defenses.

With a sigh, Beatrice finished her coffee and stood up, deciding to explore the town instead of heading back to her apartment just yet. The crisp air greeted her as she stepped outside, refreshing and sharp against her skin. She wrapped her coat tighter around her and began walking, her boots tapping softly on the pavement as she wandered aimlessly through the streets.

The town was charming, filled with small shops and quaint bakeries, each one with its own unique personality. She found herself drawn to a Turkish bakery on the corner. The warmth of the shop wrapped around her, a fleeting comfort as she stepped inside. The golden layers of baklava, dripping with honey, gleamed under the soft lights, and she ordered a piece without thinking, her mind elsewhere. Her gaze wandered to an elderly woman in the corner, dressed in vibrant, mismatched colors, enjoying her treat alone at a small table. The woman's face was calm, her movements slow and deliberate, as if savoring each bite was an art form. She seemed content, radiant in her solitude.

Beatrice's chest tightened at the sight. There had been a time when she imagined herself like that—older, wise, finding comfort and quiet joy in being alone. She had always seen that as the ultimate luxury, the kind of peace that came from not needing anyone else. But now, standing in the warmth of the bakery, watching the woman, something shifted inside her. That version of herself felt impossibly distant, slipping further from her grasp with each passing thought of River.

It wasn't fear that struck her; it was a cold certainty. She knew now that this kind of independence—this dignified solitude—was no longer hers to claim. As long as her feelings for River continued to grow, that version of her future, one where she found fulfillment in being alone, was already lost. She could see it clearly: the deeper her feelings grew, the further she moved from the woman she had once imagined she'd become. The staff recommended a few more treats, and she took their suggestions to go.

With her little box of sweets, she moved through the cobblestone streets and passed a cozy grocery shop displaying fresh produce outside. The sight of plump tomatoes, herbs, and homemade pasta caught her eye. She stepped in, greeted by the friendly hum of shoppers and the fragrant air of herbs and spices. Picking up mushrooms, garlic, and a loaf of fresh bread, she imagined herself cooking a quiet dinner later that evening, something to anchor her after a day filled with swirling thoughts.

As she left the store, her steps slowed as she spotted a little antique store tucked between two modern boutiques. Drawn in by a sense of curiosity she hadn't felt in a while, Beatrice entered the shop. It was filled with aged wood furniture, faded rugs, and vintage jewelry that seemed to hold forgotten stories. A small silver locket, delicately engraved with flowers, caught her attention. She ran her fingers over the cool surface, a quiet sense of nostalgia and longing blooming within her. It was beautiful in its simplicity, and without thinking too much about it, she bought it.

Back outside, the sky was turning soft shades of pink and lavender. The streets were quieter now, the earlier bustle replaced with the calm of evening settling over the town. Beatrice walked back toward her apartment, her mind still filled with thoughts of River, of independence, of the possibility of opening herself up to something more than what she had always imagined for herself.

By the time she reached her apartment, the sky had begun to darken, casting long shadows across the town. Beatrice slipped inside, feeling the warmth of her home wrap around her like a comforting embrace. She set down her things and decided to cook herself a meal, something hearty and satisfying to ground herself after the emotional day. She chopped vegetables, sautéing them with garlic and olive oil, letting the familiar routine calm her mind.

As the meal simmered, she leaned against the counter, her thoughts drifting back to River. Since meeting him, her life had felt...different. He had taken up so much of her time and attention, and for the first time, she wondered if that was okay. Maybe it wasn't about losing her independence. Maybe it was about finding a balance—about being open to the idea that her life could include someone else without losing herself in the process.

She sat down to eat, the warm flavors of the meal filling her with a sense of comfort she hadn't realized she needed. For so long, she had been content with the idea of coming home to an empty apartment, curling up with a book or playing a cozy game, happy in her solitude. But now, there was a part of her that wanted more. As she finished her meal, a quiet realization settled over her: she had changed. Maybe she wasn't the fiercely independent woman she had once imagined herself to be. Maybe she had opened her heart more than she had intended. And maybe, just maybe, that was okay.

For the first time in a long time, Beatrice felt ready—ready for whatever came next, whether it was with River or someone else. She didn't have all the answers, but she knew one thing for certain: she was no longer afraid to let someone in.

After finishing her meal, Beatrice sat at her small kitchen table, feeling the quiet stillness of her apartment. The glow from the overhead light cast long shadows across the room, the air warm with the scent of garlic and herbs lingering from dinner. Her thoughts, once clouded and swirling with uncertainty, had begun to settle, leaving her with an unexpected clarity.

Beatrice absentmindedly reached for her phone. Without thinking too much about it, her fingers moved on their own, pulling up River's social media profile once again. She hadn't followed him before. She had stumbled upon his page weeks ago, out of curiosity more than anything else, and told herself it didn't mean anything. But now, as she stared at his profile, her thumb hovered over the follow button. Her mind raced through all the reasons why she shouldn't, the potential awkwardness at work, the implications of her interest being too obvious. But in the end, none of it mattered. She was tired of playing it safe, tired of holding back.

With a small exhale, Beatrice tapped the button.

It was only a moment later that her phone buzzed in her hand, and a notification popped up. A message from River.

She stared at the screen, her heart jumping in her chest. Could he really have noticed so quickly? Her pulse quickened as she opened the message, her eyes scanning the words.

"Bea, are you stalking me? 😂"

A laugh bubbled up from her throat, part relief and part amusement. Of course, River would make it playful, as if he knew exactly how to put her at ease. Her fingers flew over the screen as she typed back a reply.

"Me? Stalk you? Never! 🙃 Just thought I'd see what you're up to on the weekends when you're not tormenting me at work."

She hit send, the tiny dots indicating that he was typing a response appearing almost immediately. A second later, his reply came through.

"Well, you're in luck. This weekend I am doing absolutely nothing. Want to join me for a tea date?"

Beatrice smiled at the message, warmth blooming in her chest. For all his sarcastic wit and teasing demeanor, River had a way of inviting her in that felt easy, like there wasn't an inch of pressure to be anything other than herself.

"Hmm, tea sounds like an adventure. Where's this wild rendezvous happening?" she replied, a grin spreading across her face.

"There's this little place downtown. Quiet, good tea, cozy games. What do you say—Sunday afternoon?"

She paused for a second, her heart racing again, but this time for a different reason. Was she really going to do this? Was she ready to open that door, to see where this thing with River could go? This was a dream date. But before she could talk herself out of it, she typed out her response.

"Sunday works for me. Looking forward to it."

After she sent the message, a nervous energy filled her. Her mind was already spinning, trying to picture how the weekend would go, imagining their conversation over tea, wondering what it would feel like to be around River outside of work. For weeks, she had been battling her feelings for him, trying to convince herself that it was nothing more than a fleeting attraction. But now, with the weekend plans set in stone, it felt real—like the next step in something she hadn't fully admitted to herself she wanted.

Setting her phone down, Beatrice glanced around her apartment, suddenly aware of how quiet it felt. The coziness she had once cherished now felt slightly hollow, like the space was missing something—or someone. She stood, pushing her chair back and walking over to the window. The town below was dark, the streetlights casting a soft glow over the empty sidewalks. She watched as a couple strolled by, their hands intertwined, their heads close together as they spoke in hushed tones.

A sigh escaped her lips. She had always prided herself on her independence, on the fact that she didn't need anyone to feel complete. But maybe, just maybe, she had been too hard on herself. Maybe wanting someone to share these quiet moments with didn't make her weak. Maybe it made her human.

With a deep breath, Beatrice turned away from the window and headed toward her bedroom. She had a lot to think about, but for once, the uncertainty didn't feel overwhelming. There was a glimmer of excitement mixed in with the nerves, a sense of possibility that she hadn't allowed herself to feel in a long time.

As she crawled into bed and pulled the covers around her, her mind drifted to River again—his smile, his sarcasm, the way he looked at her like he saw something deeper than the surface. And for the first time, she allowed herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, this was worth exploring.

Maybe she didn't have to figure it all out right now. Maybe she could just take it one step at a time.

And with that thought, she closed her eyes, a soft smile on her lips, and let herself drift into sleep.

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