i face the wall.

that is, if you can call it a "wall"

if it can scream at you.

call you names until

your stomach seems as small as a seed

and you feel like throwing up.

i only call them a "wall"

because walls do not understand anything too.

and i face the wall.

my heart is pounding.

my eyes are burning.

but my head is "far, far away"

because i could not handle it otherwise.

my ears listen

but they do not hear.

my mouth functions

but it does not speak.

i face them,

and can a wall

become a ticking time bomb?

i suppose

you can read both well enough.

find their patterns, up to a certain extent.

but someday, walls can crumble down

just like a bomb waiting to burst.

i face the wall.

they are wide and tall and

they are like a wall too, because

i can't see over them.

i have long forgotten that sight

and i have long given up.

i face the wall.

my heart is pounding

and it is numb.

my eyes are burning

and they do not see.

i face the wall.

the wall faces me.

it is not my choice.

my lips are dry

i have given up on using them.

after all, you can talk to walls as much as you want

and they will not respond

because they are walls.

you can scream and cry and beg

but walls will not answer those.

i face the wall.

there is no point

in trying.

the wall collapses.

(even though it will build itself back up)

and i do too.

--

a vent

i'm not doing too good right now, sorry

everything's just ugh