why do I still cling to you

fingers sweeping past yards of

acrid fabric

as they burn my fingers

telling me to

stay away?

it's like my stupid mind

is missing something like a

puzzle piece

and I couldn't help but

try again.

when "try" has lost it's meaning

I am relieved.

thank you, because

I'm tired of it.

I hate you.

the sea calls to me.

the night is especially bright

tonight, its

pearly fluids

kind of similar to the ones

streaming down my face.

and, deep in the abyss of darkness

I am drowning

dissolving into foam and washed away

and it is not the water that

fills my lungs.

it is something worse.

I hate you.

I am dissolving

chained down by a broken promise

from unreasonably long ago.

a promise that you broke

and a break that was my fault.

the distance between us is like the

surface of the light

and the sea floor.

raging waves comfort me

in my solitude

because you weren't there

and you were somewhere else

smiling.

I hate you for being able to

smile because

the last chain between us

has been broken

and the promise was never really real

but why did you even

try in the first place

if it was going to end this way?

everything is grey

the raging waves that brought me

a delusion that

I didn't need anyone else

is tearing me apart.

the person whom I wanted to say

"goodbye" to

doesn't exist now

maybe the sea

will drown me

like pouring rain

and wash out this agony.

maybe it'd wash out those memories

and I can forget you

I'd like that.

(I miss you.)