Nine months after the accident (Present):

"You can do it. Just go in there."

I shoved my hands in my pockets and took a few steps forward towards the small stairwell outside of the bar.

Tonight was the night.

"Oh, hey Riley. I didn't know you worked here." I practiced the over-rehearsed lie that I prepared under my breath. It sounded so fake and nothing like me. She would see through me right away.

Shit.

I had spent the last month trying to track Riley down, but I didn't have a lot of connections anymore that led back to the girl. Everyone cut me off after the night of the accident, even Mark, which surprised me. I had thought out of everyone that he would have been the first to forgive me for what happened that night.

I waited outside Riley's house a few times but never saw any sign of her there. Only her mom, dad, and the occasional JD and Anna sighting. Riley didn't have any social media accounts either, which made the search that much more difficult.

Riley Davis left no footprint anywhere on the world except the imprint she left on me, and it was a fucking deep crater that hollowed me out.

It wasn't until Sean said he knew a guy at a guitar repair shop who was willing to pay me cash under the table that I finally found her—well, her crappy car anyway. It was parked in a lot next to a small building with a bar sign on the outside. She was right here, right now. It had to be fate's way of telling me this was meant to be.

I leaned against the hood of her car for a few hours that day, unable to go inside. I had only been clean for a short time and I was still struggling with it every second. A bar wasn't the best environment for someone as fragile as me.

I was already walking a dangerous line at home. Living with Sean and his constant revolving door of women, booze, and drugs was more than enough to send me spiraling back down. Since Sean was my only real option in this town for a place to crash, I locked myself in my room every night to keep them all out.

I spent over two hours spending quality time with Riley's car in the parking lot. My mind was racing with excitement, hoping that Riley would come out, see me, and jump into my arms. When the third hour began, I became restless and lost my courage.

The months we had been apart hadn't prepared me for the confusing emotions I felt about seeing her again. I needed a little more time to figure out what I would say to her and, more importantly, to hear what she would say back.

If I found Riley once, I would do it again—I would always find my way back to my girl.

Hopefully, the little dive bar was a place she frequented occasionally. I would find out soon enough since I would be working about fifty feet away from it until the guy at the guitar repair shop got tired of dealing with me.

Every evening for the next week while I was busy working, restringing guitars, and fixing broken fretboards, I watched the parking lot across the street for her. Riley's car always seemed to be sitting there. I never saw her get in or out of it, though. It would just appear and disappear into thin air.

I grew overly impatient and fed up a few days later. I was having a rough time fixing a mangled guitar and nothing I was trying worked the way I wanted it to. My irritation with the complexity of the fix sent me off the deep edge until all I could do was obsessively think about every possible reason why Riley would be going to a bar every day.

It was fucking killing me.

Was she meeting someone there? Had Riley moved on with someone else? Why was she always there?

She had been inside for hours and hours.

What was she doing in there?

I slammed down the trashed guitar, snapping the brittle neck in half. I walked straight over to the bar, where a guy was unloading bottles from the back of a rusted white box truck. I introduced myself to him as Riley's brother to keep the suspicion away. I asked him if he had seen her inside. He told me the last time he saw Riley, she was back in the storeroom, cleaning up and getting her tables ready to open.

It all made more sense now. She was here every day because she worked at the place.

This was all about a job, not another guy she was seeing. I let out the breath I had been holding. I still had a chance.

The sound of the bar door opening snapped me away from that day and back into reality. I was so lost in my own head that I forgot I was still awkwardly standing in a dark alley in the middle of the night.

I froze in place. My heart began racing in my chest as I stood stock still with wide eyes trained on the door.

Was it her?

A drunk couple came flying out, tangled up in each other. The guy had his sloppy hands all over the girl and paused to pull her into a full-fledged make-out session in the middle of the staircase. The guy leaned into the girl, almost knocking her over the railing and taking himself overboard with her.

I was both disappointed and relieved it wasn't Riley.

The door opened again behind the tipsy couple and a long-haired brunette wearing a high ponytail walked out behind them. She shooed them down the stairway so they wouldn't get hurt. The brunette turned around to walk back up the stairs as the couple stumbled to the opposite side of the alley. When she got to the top, she lit a cigarette and took a quick drag. Then, she wiggled and pulled down on the black bar uniform shorts that rode up every time she moved. They were so short she might as well have worn underwear to work.

Riley would look mouthwatering in the tiny shorts.

My jaw clenched at the thought of her running around inside the place, bending over in front of dirty old men who had nothing better to do than spend their nights on a barstool, drinking and ogling the gorgeous girl. I was already jealous of everyone in the bar who got to look at her while I was out here debating whether or not I could even face her again.

Riley was the only reason I came back to Ohio. I would do anything to find a way to get her to forgive me.

"Riley, I know a lot happened between us, but I just wanted to explain some things. Can we talk?" I whispered to myself again.

Damnit.

"Just go in." The impatient voice in my head sounded again.

I shook my head at myself. I changed my mind—tonight was not the night. It didn't feel like the right time to do this.

"Chicken shit." The voice mocked me.

"Shut up." I huffed, locking the dark voice away.

I began to turn around and walk away again for the eighth straight night in a row. Each night I stood out here for hours, hoping I would find the stones to take a step closer to her but failing miserably.

"Hey Rach! Jules wants you to come back in. He said he needs to see you in the office." The warmest melodic voice called out behind me in the dark.

Riley.

I ducked out of the way and hid next to a stinking dumpster overflowing with rotting garbage so she couldn't see me.

"He is a big man-baby." Another voice replied that I assumed was the brunette with the lit cigarette.

"Just go in and tell him your sorry, kiss and make-up. He is the boss. You can't say things like that to him." Riley scolded her.

"I'm not saying sorry."

"You didn't say anything about the kissing part." Riley teased her back playfully.

"The only thing he will be kissing tonight is my ass." The other girl answered.

"I bet you wouldn't mind if he did."  Riley giggled.

"True." The brunette agreed.

Both girls fell into a hysterical laughing fit. I started to crane my head around the side of the dumpster, drawn to Riley's soft laughter. I stepped out a little more to try to catch a quick glimpse of her when my boot hit the side of the dumpster with a loud metallic clang. It rang out like it was amplified at max volume.

I swore a thousand made-up curse words under my breath and bit down on my new lip ring to keep myself from yelling them all out loud. It still stung a little when it moved, but the burn was enough to silence me.

"What was that?" Riley's freaked-out voice echoed crisply between the brick walls.

"Probably some sort of stray alley cat, looking for a little bit of tail." The brunette answered her.

"Rachel, I think someone is over there. I thought I saw a shadow." Riley whispered tensely.

Should I meow to try to throw her off? I couldn't let her find me. How does a giant person hide? I couldn't move a single muscle without her seeing me.

Fuck, I was a complete idiot whenever she was near.

"You are so paranoid. It's not like someone is out here just standing out here watching us. Come on, let's get inside and finish up so we can go home." The brunette responded.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Riley answered hesitantly.

The door pulled open with a slight creaking sound and I took the opportunity to peek my head out to catch my first glimpse of her.

Standing alone at the top of the stairs, Riley had stopped to turn her head over her shoulder. Her eyes were wide and frantically searching the dark like she was looking for something.

Did she feel me the same way I did whenever she was near? Did she know I was here?

Riley lingered on the step like she didn't want to go inside. She stepped out from the darkness and under the beam of the orangish light hanging from the side of the building.

Riley was even more beautiful than ever, but something about the way she carried herself was so different. I couldn't figure out what it was. She was still the same girl I fell in love with, but it was like she was half empty. A little thinner than before and worn, like a piece of her was missing.

Riley spun around and wrapped her arms around her body, holding it in like she was trying to protect herself from some unseen danger lurking around her. She shook her head and wiped at the corner of her eye like she always did when she cried.

Was she upset about something? I wished I could read her mind and find out what she was thinking about.

All I knew was I would do whatever it took to never see her cry again.

Starting tomorrow.

Tonight, I was going home to come up with a new plan. Then, I would come back to fix us and make things right.

I was going to get her back.

I just needed to figure out exactly how.