"I need to clean these out."

Riley's gentle voice penetrated the thick veil covering my consciousness. I blinked, staring around the room in confusion. This place wasn't where I was when I closed my eyes last. 

Where the fuck were we?

How did I get here?

The last memory I could drum up was when Riley grabbed me by the hair and forced her way back in. The dirty girl spun the little balls holding the metal bar in her tongue against mine as she hungrily kissed me back to life. She pulled me closer to her mouth, surging her hips forward to press against me. Like her ass was magnetized, my arms encompassed her completely, squeezing and locking her in so she couldn't escape again.

I didn't imagine it. I knew that much was real.

Riley's new tongue ring was fucking fire. Even high and out of my mind, I remembered how well she had used the steel to tease me into submission.

I just wasn't sure how far it had gone and it pissed me off.

I wanted to believe that I picked Riley up and the mouthwatering girl climbed me like a tree—that her gorgeous thighs wrapped around me so tightly that she suffocated my throbbing cock. I would have buried every inch of myself deep inside her needy little cunt and filled her up until she could take anymore. Riley was a queen who deserved to be fucked six different ways to Sunday.

But I knew that part never happened. I was too keyed up to have lost myself in her already.

My brain was barely functioning enough to hold my head up. Hence, I had absolutely no goddamned clue where we even were. The place felt familiar like I had been here before, but it was far too clean and sanitary to be Sean's place. Then, like a bitch slap across the face, the dots connected and everything started to click together.  I did know where we were. She told me where we were going when we were trapped in the death room.  I was just too fucked-up to listen. 

Riley Davis said she was bringing me home.

I breathed a small sigh of relief and closed my eyes to hold back the tears. Riley could have dropped me anyplace else in the world. Instead, she decided to bring me to the one place I truly ever belonged. She may not have meant it in the way it was said, but my beautiful girl did bring me home—to my home—with her. 

As if someone flipped a breaker on in my body, my senses fired up into overdrive and released the electrical current that powered me. The whir of the mechanical noises in the building was too loud—even the strained breath Riley let out assaulted my eardrums. The smell of her peach shampoo engulfed the whole room. The scent made my stomach flip in a mixture of anxious nausea and extreme starvation. It was too much at once.

But the feel of her fingertips on my skin was the worst.

The crackle and prickling sting each time she touched me threatened my ability to hold on. Riley held onto my hands and it was all I could focus on. The smooth, soft, creamy skin was so different from the rough, callused, blood-covered things attached to my body. With a frown, she turned over each one, studying my split knuckles like they were hurting her too. 

It was unnerving to feel this much pleasure with the pain.  It made me fucking itch.

"I think your hand could be broken. We need to get it looked at." Her full lips tightened into a grimace as she avoided coming into contact with the inflamed skin around the deepest cut. 

"No doctors." I snapped out in a harsher whisper than intended when her index finger pressed slightly into a purplish bruise forming behind one of the knuckles.

Riley's large eyes widened even more for a split second, like I had struck her with a closed fist. I started to open my mouth to explain my reasoning until she nodded, letting me know she wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to do.

Fuck, I loved her more than she could ever know.

Putting the little tense moment behind us, Riley grabbed my arm. She walked us both back towards the back of the apartment to the end of the hall, where her bedroom door was slightly open. My heart sputtered and stopped when I thought she would take me to her room. But, instead of pushing her door open further, she steered me across the hall and switched on a blinding light. 

We were in the bathroom.  The toilet was the dead giveaway.  It didn't even occur to me that the bathroom was down here too. Or that she would take me there.

Riley went straight to a little cabinet hanging on the wall and tugged it open. Behind the mirrored door was a small stash of basic first aid supplies. I bit back a small laugh when Riley stood on her tippy-toes to reach the top shelf. My girl wasn't going to let her lack of height stop her from getting ahold of what she wanted. I hoped that, after all, was said and done tonight, I would still be one of those things she wanted too. 

Riley succeeded, coming away with a package of off-brand fabric bandaids and a brown bottle of peroxide in one hand. Without her having to tell me what to do, I placed my hands over the sink and began mentally preparing for the burn. My own Florence Nightingale opened the flip-top lid on the bottle and turned it over my blood-stained knuckles without even warning me. 

"Shit. Fuck. Fucking Shit." I howled, fighting the urge to kick the vanity to ease the pain. The scorching liquid looked like it was boiling as it coated my skin.  

Riley leaned forward towards my hands to inspect the wounds again once the grime was washed away. She licked her lips slowly and focused in on my torn flesh. Her hair fell from behind her ear as she let out a soft breath, blowing gently over the top of the bubbles until they all popped.

Insanely jealous of the blond hair fanning her face, I reached out to tuck a lock of her loosened curls behind her ear. The vibrant light blonde blended seamlessly into the deep teal-blue ends. It was a good look on her, so soft and shiny as the light arched off the curve of the tousled ringlets.  She was so effortlessly beautiful and she was all mine.

I needed her so fucking badly. 

Riley's body hitched back in surprise before I could close in and touch her. It pained me to watch how jumpy she still was around me, but it wasn't like I didn't deserve it for what I had done. To Riley's credit, she tried to brush her reaction off as if it had never happened. Instead, she pretended the closeness didn't affect her while she reached inside the box of bandages to find one that would work to hold the skin on my knuckles together. 

Riley made quick work, only letting herself touch me for as long as was necessary to get the job done. The girl in front of me wasn't the same one who had kissed me in the living room. That one couldn't keep me close enough. She didn't hide how much she wanted to kiss and hold me. At least, that was how I thought I remembered it going down—not that I would know the difference between the truth and my fucked-up delusions. With the amount of heroin I had injected earlier, I was surprised I still had any semblance of reality to pull from. 

All I was sure of was that Riley Davis chased me down when she had no reason to or anything to gain by doing so. I didn't even want to be found this time, but she didn't give up on me. Riley didn't give up on us.  

But she was fucking scared. 

And so was I.

I went too far this time.

Everyone says that at some point, an addict will hit rock bottom. A person could only fall so far down until they had no other choice but to find their way back up. For the last few months, I had thought I couldn't get any lower than I was the night of the accident when I killed our baby and put her in the hospital.

I was so fucking wrong.

The day Riley told me she hated me and could never forgive me, my body slid off the narrow shelf holding me up and I plummeted down into a black pit, breaking my bones into a million pieces when I smashed against the real floor. 

This was my low. It couldn't get any worse.

Riley stood before me, reaching up toward the cuts on my face. She left out a little frustrated huff when she had to stretch as far up as possible to get to the spot from the angle she was at. She was so fucking adorable.

Watching her struggle amused me a little more than it should have in my current state. Unable to help myself, I spread my legs wider and sunk down, knowing she would have to invade my personal space if she wanted to finish the job.

Riley didn't even hesitate before she stepped in and placed a cotton ball soaked in peroxide just above my eye. I closed my eyes, drinking in the feeling of having her so near. I would cut myself open and bleed every day for the rest of my life if it I meant I could have her, just like this.

"You're lucky you didn't lose your eyebrow rings." She commented.

I opened my eyes to respond that it wouldn't be the worst thing if they were gone but stopped short when I caught her looking down at a few blood stains covering the top of my shirt. Her face was screwed up and her nose did this little scrunch like she didn't want to touch it. I agreed.  It definitely wasn't my best look.

"I don't think I have anything that will fit you for you to change into." She fussed and chewed on her bottom lip without even realizing she was doing it.

Not having a change of clothes was the least of my worries. Being butt-ass naked in front of her wasn't a problem for me. I stripped off my shirt and tossed it to the floor without even a second thought. Riley's hand immediately traced the thin black lines of my music notes as she stared down at the ink. Her cheeks began to flush, spreading to the tips of her ears and she yanked her hand back like she had just pricked it on the quills of a porcupine.  

"I'm sorry... I...just..." My beautiful girl stuttered, preparing to apologize when one wasn't even remotely necessary. Riley never had to ask for my forgiveness for anything. As far as I was concerned, she never needed permission to take what she wanted from me. I was hers and always would be.

"Please let me stay with you tonight," I asked, nervous and unsure of how she would respond.

"You can sleep in my bed. I can take the couch." Riley played innocent, knowing damned well that just staying in the same apartment as her wasn't what I meant. She placed her hand on my bare arm to soothe me before I lashed out. 

"I can't sleep without you." My vulnerable words shook as my fingers began to tingle and shake, needing something to distract them. The skin at the bottom of Riley's shirt was the first thing I could reach. Latching onto the clingy white shirt, I pulled it up a little higher and found the soft skin underneath before she could stop me. 

"Ezra, that's not a good idea." Riley frowned, watching my thumb graze the delicate skin on her stomach.   

"Just for tonight, I promise I won't try anything. I just don't want to be alone." 

Tonight wasn't about sex. It was about just being together—preferably in the same room.

Riley's eyes flickered up to mine and she sucked in her plump lip. She had been giving that thing quite the workout tonight. Her resolve to keep me at a distance melted away in front of my eyes. Giving me one of her signature little grumbles, she caved and motioned me to follow her to her bedroom. 

Flipping on the small lamp instead of the overhead light, Riley walked over to her dresser. I sat down on her bed and started removing my shoes from my aching feet. My eyes flickered to the mirror she was standing in front of and her eyes met mine for a brief second before she turned her attention back to the clothes in her drawers. She pulled out a black shirt and a pair of flannel pants, much to my disappointment. I was hoping there would be much fewer clothes between our bodies tonight. Even if sex was off the table, I still wanted as much of her as I could. 

When Riley turned around to face me with her bundle of clothes clutched to her chest, I dropped my pants to the floor. My cock was half-hard and thickening fast. Apparently, it didn't get the memo about tonight not being about wild make-up sex. Although, in my dick's defense, it was fucking hard to stay in control when Riley was frozen in place, staring at it like it was the whole damn dessert tray.

The blushing blond squeaked and spun towards the dresser again. The attention-seeking whore in my pants twitched, wanting Riley to notice how the sexy little noises she made affected me. Riley was a complete mindfuck to both heads—sober or using, and I had no antidote for her.

Ignoring the loudmouth between my legs, I bent over to pull the covers back on the bed and slid under them for more coverage. Riley had to change into her pajamas and I knew things were only about to get a bit harder for me to ignore once she slipped her shirt over her head. She had fantastic tits with just the right amount of bounce. One look at her tight, pink nipples and I would be poking a hole through the ceiling.  I didn't want to make things more awkward or uncomfortable for her. Riley would freak out and change her mind about sleeping in the bed with me if she saw me blow a load in my boxers just from imagining mouth-fucking her perfect chest.

As if she knew exactly what I was thinking, Riley had that panicked look in her eye. She ran out of the room without bothering to say anything. I was about to throw back the covers and get up to chase her when the bathroom door slammed shut. Maybe she just needed a minute, had to pee, or do something else that girls do. The damp spot on the front of my boxers could use a little time to dry up anyway.

I rested my head on my hands, leaning back to get comfortable while I waited. I counted my breaths to focus on something else other than the erratic pounding of my heart.

One-hundred sixty-seven.

One-sixty-eight.

One-sixty—holy fuck.

Riley walked into the room and stood at the foot of the bed like a vision from my filthiest wet dream. Wearing the thin, tight Camo t-shirt without a bra was the best present she could have ever given me. Her chest jiggled as she squirmed in front of me. I wanted to shove my face between them and go to town, sucking and nipping at her until her body shook on top of mine. 

Riley saw me devouring her with just my thoughts and licked her lips like a good girl for me. I wondered what kind of panties she had on under her pajama pants. They were probably drenched with how hard she was rubbing her thighs together. 

Not about sex. No sex.

How was I ever going to make it through the night sleeping next to her when everything she did was saying, "come fuck me until I scream"?

Riley walked around to the other side of the bed and slipped in beside me. I was hoping she would tuck herself into my chest like she used to, but she remained still on her back, stiff as a board. Finally, she let out a sigh and turned her back to me. She scooched to the far edge of the bed, which seemed a little unnecessary and over the top. I wiggled my body over and turned on my side, so my front was facing her back. I slide my foot forward, dipping my toe in the water. I brushed the front of my thighs against the back of hers, trying to convince her to slot her ass right up against my raging dick. 

Riley jumped and I pulled back.

Damnit.  Was she really not even going to let me touch her?

"Sorry, accident." I leaned over and whispered into her ear, trying to soften her. The spot below her neck was her weakness and I was willing to exploit it if it got me a little more contact. 

"I...no... it's fine." She shuddered and then yanked the blanket up almost over her head to shut me out.

Well, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I dropped back down to my back and spread my limbs out a bit. It was frustrating that she would rather sleep hanging onto the edge bed—being smothered by a blanket—than in my arms. I rubbed my palms over my face, wanting to scream. Why did she bring me here if she wanted nothing to do with me? This was a stupid fucking idea. 

"Ezra." My heart jumped, hearing my name on her lips. Maybe she changed her mind.

"Yeah, Ry." I cleared my throat, trying to calm myself down. 

"I'm really scared for you. You can't keep using. You need to get clean." The tremble in her voice was a dead giveaway that she was crying again, making me feel shittier than ever. Riley was genuinely worried about me and I was too busy to notice because I was pouting about not getting my way.

"I'm trying. I thought I had it under control when I came back to find you. I started using again the first night I came to your work. I thought if I just had a little, it would give me the courage to see you." I paused and took a deep breath.  "I don't ever want you to see me like that again."

"Me neither."

Riley mumbled her sleepy reply and snuggled deeper into her pillow. Her breathing evened out and she went still next to me. It only took me a minute to realize she had gone down for the night.

My girl was worn out.

I lifted my top half off the bed and then leaned over top of her, stealing the opportunity to plant a light kiss on top of her head without her ever knowing.

"I promise I will get better for you. Goodnight, my beautiful girl. I love you." I whispered into her hair and kissed her again before collapsing into my own fitful sleep.