Uncle Charlie caught my shadow out of the corner of his eye and stared up at me over the top of his coffee mug as he sipped it casually. He nodded his head in my mom's direction, indicating he wanted me to go over to her. She was too busy concentrating on the sizzling frying pan in front of her to notice I was even there.

I stood in place, contemplating what I was going to do. I couldn't do this—I wasn't ready to be around anyone. I started to turn around to run back upstairs before she saw me and tried to stop me.

Uncle Charlie patted his coat pocket where he stashed my pills earlier and raised his eyebrow.

He was an absolute prick sometimes.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath so I didn't launch myself at him. My body had seven trillion nerves inside it and he was on every last damn one of them. There was no way out of this if I wanted the pills back other than bending to his will and I didn't have enough fight left in me to bother trying.

I walked slowly over to Mom and reached my hand out to touch her shoulder. I hesitated and pulled it back like she was a live wire about to electrocute me. The contact with her was going to put me into cardiac arrest. I hadn't let anyone touch or come near me since I arrived back home. It was easier to stay down when you didn't let anyone close enough to pull you back up. I wasn't worthy of the comfort they would give.

If she knew why I was really home, she would be disappointed in me—and so fucking sad about Riley losing the baby.

Mom always wanted more kids but that dream died for her the day I was born. According to most people who knew him, my dad wasn't always the tweaked-out asshole I remembered.  His whole demeanor changed suddenly one day about a month after I was born. I wasn't the easiest baby and Mom was trying her best, but she was still really young and overwhelmed. They got into a huge fight and he disappeared on her for three weeks.  When he finally came back, the man she loved was gone. 

I was positive it was all because of me. I was the catalyst that broke both of them.

"Ehmmm...Morning Momma." I coughed out from my dry throat.

Mom jumped in the air and a piece of bacon flew off the fork she was using to turn it. The bacon fell on the floor, leaving a grease splatter behind on the tile. Mom stood in shock with her fork in the air like she was going to shank me with it. She wasn't great with people catching her off guard. It was a leftover side effect of the years of cruelty my dad unleashed on her.

"He has risen. Hell hath frozen over and we are all ice skating with Santa Clause in July." Charlie poked at me in the awkward silence.

I glared at Charlie. He was pushing his luck.

"Morning, Bug. Did you sleep well?" Mom asked with a huge smile once she caught her breath from the shock.

"Yeah, I guess," I mumbled at her without looking her in the eye. I didn't want her to see the horrible secrets I was hiding behind them.

I made my way over to the table and sat in the seat next to the one Uncle Charlie occupied. Before I could blink, Mom had a plate of food and a full glass of orange juice in front of me. She stood over me, anxiously waiting for me to take a bite. Mom was a bit of a feeder; it was her way of showing how much she loved someone. To her, a full belly equaled happiness. My suspicion was that she was always trying to make up for the days when my dad took every cent she made for his drugs and we had nothing to eat but a loaf of bread and a tub of butter.

Mom had gone hungry a lot of nights just to ensure I was fed and had a roof over my head. She would have been better off with a kid who appreciated her for what she did instead of a self-centered fuckup like me.

I grabbed the fork and loaded a pile of scrambled eggs onto it. I shoved the heaping forkful into my mouth to get her to go away.

"How's it taste?" Mom asked excitedly.

"Great, Momma," I wheezed as I sucked in air through the burnt roof of my mouth. Mom must have cooked the eggs in napalm. It was the only reason they could be that hot. I rushed to grab the orange juice next to me and chugged it down as soon as she turned her back. I could feel the steam coming from the spot where the temperatures collided.

Mom sat down to join us for breakfast after making sure we all had enough food on our plates. The three of us sat in silence, with the only sound being the scraping of the forks across our plates and Uncle Charlie's nauseating open-mouthed chewing.

I felt like I was about to vomit, listening to the snorts he made every time his mouth moved.

My mom's eyes were on me the whole entire time. I pushed my food around the plate to make it look like I was eating. Of course, she knew I wasn't, but I was hoping she would leave it alone for now.

"Well, Lulu, Ezra and I have a few things to do today. We better be hitting the road before it gets too late." Uncle Charlie picked up his coffee mug and chugged it down.

"Oh, I didn't know you had plans." She sounded surprised and stared at me with hopeful eyes.

That made two of us. I didn't know he would drag me out of the house kicking and screaming until he rudely woke me up this morning. I still had no idea what he was forcing me into.

"Ezra offered to help me with a few things today," Charlie responded.

Offered?

I didn't fucking offer him anything—this was forced coercion.

"Well, I'm glad you two are going to get to spend some time together." Mom grinned ear to ear. "Oh, let me grab you some coffee to go and a few snacks for the road."

Mom hopped off her chair immediately, leaving behind her half-finished plate of food to cater to us. She opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out a giant metal thermos. She filled it with the rest of the coffee from the pot and ran over to the other side of the kitchen to load up a bag full of homemade pastries.

"Where are we going?" I took the opportunity to ask Uncle Charlie while Mom was distracted. He pretended to be watching her as he ignored me like I hadn't even said anything.

"Fine, don't answer. Just give me my fucking pills back and I'll go with you." I hissed between clenched teeth.

"No dice. Option two then. Easier for me." He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back against the chair.

Mom handed Uncle Charlie the thermos. She was rambling on about something that I didn't hear. I was too busy locked in a staring battle against my Uncle Charlie.

"You're all set. Coffee, cheese danish, and banana nut muffins." Mom grinned, eagerly gifting Uncle Charlie the care package.

"Thank you, Lulu. Breakfast was amazing as always. I don't know how you do it." He praised her.

"It was nothing."

Mom's cheeks were pink, blushing shamefully at the compliment.

"You ready, kid?" Uncle Charlie raised his eyebrows, waiting for my answer. He was giving me one last opportunity to change my mind. Uncle Charlie wasn't known for giving second chances. If I waffled back and forth on him any longer, he was going to make the decision for me—one that would include an overnight stay down at the county jail.

Fuck.

"Yeah, let's go." I gritted my teeth at him, which brought out a victorious smirk on his annoying face.

"You two behave and don't stay out too long. It's freezing outside. Also, watch the steps on the way out. They are slick." Mom cautioned us and came over to wrap her arm around me to say goodbye.

I slunk down and dodged my mom's embrace. I jumped up from the chair and ran towards the front door to get away. My fingers were on the handle, turning it, when a deep voice called out behind me.

"Ezra." Uncle Charlie warned.

I stopped in place and turned around to go back over to hug my mom. She wrapped me tightly in her arms as if it had been years since she saw me last. It was too familiar and soothed the part of me that didn't want to be saved from the hell I was imprisoned in.

"Thanks for breakfast, Momma." I squeezed her back a little more than the I had intended. Tremors began rolling through my body as she held onto me. The loss inside me ached and pleaded for me to let it out. I pulled away from her before she could notice and interrogate me any further.

Uncle Charlie waved goodbye to her and I followed suit, trailing behind him out the front door.

The freezing air knocked the last bit of warmth out of my lungs. It was so early that it was still dark outside, except for the moonlight shining on top of the untouched snow. The whole yard was covered the thick white powder and topped with a half-inch thick layer of ice. The ground felt like it was sinking underneath me as my weight broke through the layer of frozen water with every footstep.

My hoodie and beanie were doing nothing to keep my body warm. I shivered the whole twenty-foot walk over the crunching snow/ice mix to Uncle Charlie's pickup. My boots were even soaked through completely down to my socks.

Uncle Charlie opened the door on the driver's side and hopped in. He revved the engine to start generating the much-needed heat in the truck's cab as I climbed into the seat next to him. It was so cold outside that ice crystals formed on the puffs of breath I exhaled.

Uncle Charlie reached over and opened his glove compartment. He pulled out a few scraps of leather and tossed them over to me.

"Put those on." He instructed as I examined the light tan work gloves.

"What are these for?" I asked suspiciously.

"To keep away the frostbite and stop your hands from blistering."

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

He ignored me again like I didn't exist. His answer wouldn't have changed a thing. I was stuck with him no matter what we were doing if I wanted my pills back from his coat pocket.

Charlie threw the car into reverse and spun around quickly on the ice. He barely looked in either direction as he pulled out onto the snow-covered road. He began humming under his breath as he picked up the speed, flying down the empty road without a care in the world.

I gripped the door handle as my heart started racing every time the tires slipped a little on a patch of thick ice. My breath came quicker and faster when he turned down a side street riddled with killer curves. My chest wouldn't expand enough to let the oxygen in. It felt like the whole weight of the truck was centered right over the spot where my heart should have been beating.

"Damnit, Charlie, where the fuck are we going?" I yelled as he rounded a bend, putting the truck inches from a guardrail. I closed my eyes and braced my body for the impact to end it all.

But it never came.

I wasn't that lucky.

When I opened one eye and peeked at my Uncle Charlie, he had come to a complete stop in the middle of the road. We weren't even moving any longer. He had his hands on the steering wheel and his mouth was pulled tight in a frown.

"You okay over there, kid? You ain't about to yak your breakfast up all over my new truck, are you?" He asked.

"Where. The. Fuck. Are. We. Going?" I asked, gasping for breath.

"Splitting wood. If your sorry tail is going live off your momma's teat, you will at least contribute by keeping her toes warm."