Three days passed since the incident with Oliver. Still, I had no news from him. And still none of my friends had mentioned what they witnessed that night at the beach. At first, I thought it was for the best. I really didn't feel like talking about it yet. But eventually their silence on the matter became eerie. They always shared their opinions freely; quick to tell me when I was wrong or quick to give me a pep talk when I was down. There was none of that. And their unsaid words created a tension amongst the group. I almost perceived a sense of resentment. As if they were angry or resented me for ruining their efforts and breaking Oliver's heart. Their silence made me believe that I deserved their anger. I didn't deserve their pity or comfort for I had caused this situation. Because I had inflicted this pain upon myself.

      I was almost surprised when Sabi organized a group outing to the local fair, or more specifically I was surprised that she had invited me. Deciding to meet at a local diner for lunch beforehand, I drove to the restaurant with Sabi, Quinn, Lada, and Bella. Sabelia hopped on with Josie. The ride up was silent, extremely uncharacteristic of our group. And I knew it was my fault. I tried to act normal for their sakes, forced a smile on my lips, despite the decaying heart in my chest. I tried to jumpstart a conversation a few times, but they died rapidly each time, chatter unanimated. There was no teasing or laughter like usual.

      In a shared attempt to create a conversation, Quinn had questioned Bella about things with Cory. Cory and Bella had been together for three years, and she admittedly hadn't spoken much of him lately.

     "I don't know." She shrugged. "He's been acting strange lately."

     I was staring out the window, only half listening as I was too busy scrambling for ideas to save our friendship. In my half lucid state, the snide remark slipped through without thought.

     "Are you missing any crystals?" I asked easily, falling into old habits. "If he's anything like your ex, he may have shoved the first thing he could find where the sun doesn't shine... And you do keep crystals just about everywhere."

     Her ex had the tendency to visit the ER with the most random objects lodged in his rectum, and I would have been nice about it if he hadn't ended up cheating on her.

     It took a few moments for my words to register, but when they did, I whipped around, tearing my gaze from the window. I looked between my friends, searching their faces, desperately hoping that I didn't make things worse.

     I watched everyone blink once, as if stunned, before Quinn burst into laughter. The others followed shortly; tension relieved instantaneously.

     "Cory would never disrespect my crystals like that," Bella huffed playfully. "But thank you Yasmine, for immediately assuming the worse."

     "Is that really the worse scenario you could imagine?"

     "To taint my crystals like that? Yes. Any other object would be fine, but not my stones."

     Any? I cocked a brow amusedly. "So, if it's not guilty pleasures, why do you reckon he's acting strange?"

      "If I knew, I wouldn't have needed to seek your absurd ideas."

     "Hey!" Lada cried indignantly. "Don't let Yasmine speak on our behalf. I personally think my ideas would be helpful."

     "Do bestow your knowledge upon us Mrs. Meleski," I prodded.

     "I'd hate to ruin a potential surprise, but it seems to me like another kind of rock might be involved."

     Bella was slow on the uptake, but Sabi, Quinn and I gasped in elated surprise. It was definitely the kind of rock Lada was referring to. Wide grins were plastered on each of our faces, except Bella who was still frowning.

     "Wait..." Her brows were knitted in a way that told me she suspected what Lada meant but was afraid to say it aloud. "Do you mean—Tell me what you mean." She didn't dare speak the assumption.

     Lada shook her head, sealing her lips shut. "In the chance that I'm right, I've already said too much... On a different note, I'd love to know why your mind immediately went to the butt stuff, Yaz."

     I didn't hesitate. "Must be all the porn Quinn is making me watch."

     "What!?" Sabi chocked on air.

     Lada and Bella spun Quinn's way with equally perplexed and concerned expressions.

     "I was trying to help!" Quinn defended. "To no avail might I add. This girl's as hard to turn on as my grandma's antique massager."

      I huffed indignantly but couldn't find it in myself to disagree. The girls couldn't disagree either, perhaps agreeing too much. Somehow each of them had their own remarks of my capacity to be turned on, and we fell into our typical friendly squabbles. Just like that, in the matter of seconds it takes to snap your fingers, everything was back to normal. I relaxed in my seat, smiling at my friends.

      By the time we made it to the fairgrounds, stomachs full of lunch, there were no hints of any remaining tension. Green paper bracelets on our wrists, we ran through the front gates just as excited as the small children who just barely reached our hips. While most people our age could be found in the beer tent or watching their children mount the plastic horses and Ferris Wheel chairs, we were right alongside the children, screaming as the Salt and Pepper Shaker spun us upside down, and betting on who could win the largest pile of stuffed animals. I had decided against betting on myself. Which was a wise decision considering my poor history at throwing rings around bottles and throwing darts at balloons. It had also been wise considering the money spent on games had now surpassed the bet's prize money. They were competing for bragging rights at this point.

     We were watching an eager Lada and Quinn battle, throwing basketball after basketball into impossibly narrow hoops, when Sabi cried out in excitement. Lada and Quinn didn't even flinch, too invested in the game, but the rest of us spun towards Sabi who had pulled a woman against her hip in a side hug. There was something strange about their greeting, about Sabi's exhibited surprise. As she brought the raven-haired girl forward, I couldn't put my finger on the strangeness. Maybe she was an ex, and the breakup discomfort lingered even years after Sabi had married. Maybe she was one of her college bisexual awakenings?

     "Everyone," Sabi unnecessarily sought our attention, all eyes already on her. "This is Esmerelda. Call her Esme."

      One by one, she introduced Esme to our group. I shook her delicate hand, taking in her nine black acrylic nails, short choppy locks, and mid-thigh plaid skirt with a nod of appreciation. She was rocking the nose ring and black choker.

     "I love the backpack purse." She nodded at the moose print bag on my back.

     "Don't encourage her poor fashion choices!" Quinn badgered, still not looking away from the hoops.

     "Nice to meet you, Esme!" Lada greeted beside Quinn, also with her back to us.

     Esme cocked a curious brow at the two, rightfully questioning the nature of their competitiveness. Sabi told her about the bet and offered her the chance to join.

     "Oh no," Esme laughed. "My skills are nowhere near good enough to come in this late in the game."

     "You can tag team with Yasmine."

     "We don't do teams." I frowned. We never did teams. It was everyone fend for themselves; no pity for the lack of skill or knowledge of the game involved.

    "Oh honey. I hate to tell you this, but you need help."

     I wasn't even offended; I had enough self-awareness to know that I sucked. "I'm too far gone for help," I said, earning a chuckle from Esme. "Precisely why I didn't bet on myself."

     "Well, I bet on you, so I need you to step it up," Sabi revealed.

     "Why on earth would yo do that?"

    "You know I love a good underdog story... but some underdogs need a bit of help." She paused to gesture Esme up and down. "Esme."

     I snorted at her determination. They always took these competitions so seriously. "I'm always down for a challenge, but I don't think any of the girls will be down to change the rules for your advantaged."

     To my surprise, no one protested. I turned towards Quinn and Lada expectantly. Like she felt my eyes on her, Quinn answered, "I think it would be a great idea."

     Before I could absorb the strangeness of Quinn, Ms. There is no kindness in war and games, giving a competitor (not that I was any competition) a chance, Lada cried out in pleasure. Buzzer announcing her victory, she twirled in a celebratory dance.

     "No!" Quinn banged her closed fist against the board. Swearing under her breath, Quinn narrowed her eyes as the carny handed Lada a purple stuffed dragon. From this distance, the dragon looked a few inches larger than Quinn's blue bear. Lada was in the lead.

     Grinning as she added the dragon to her wagon, Lada finally pushed up the sleeves of her flannel and held out a hand towards Esme. "I'd love some more competition," she said. "And Yasmine's not going to offer that without some help." She nudged her head towards the single bear poking out of my purse.

     I narrowed my eyes playfully at the blonde. "Y'all are going to regret this when Esme and I kick your asses."

     Esme and I bumped fists before following Quinn who was already walking towards the next booth.

     Throwing ping pong balls at rows and rows of glass jars you would think the odds would be in our favor. They were not. It took all of ten minutes to realize that this station was a money gimmick. Somehow managing to get a cup on my last throw, I blinked at the prize they handed me. Holding the bag of water in front of my face, I met the gaze of a funny looking goldfish.

     Esme took one look at my face and broke into laughter. "I should have taken your warning more seriously."

     "Excuse me?" I protested. "I'm the only one who won a prize here!"

     "You won a fish," she said, lips quivering with contained giggles. "Where's that going to get us in the competition?"

     I huffed indignantly. "I feel like the fish should count as twice as much."

     Behind me, my friends were cackling at my fortune of winning the one prize that served no purpose to our bet.

     "No more rule changing," Quinn answered, her tenacity returning at the most inconvenient time. It always did. "We'll discuss the worth of fish next time."

     Holding the bag in front of my face again, I crinkled my nose. What was I supposed to do with this? I did not dislike fish. I had an aquarium at the clinic. This little guy would get on well in the Grove Clinic tank. But lugging this thing around all night would only impair my already terrible game.

     I spotted a tearful child looking longingly at the remaining fish waiting to be won. Studying the curly haired boy, who had his arms wrapped around his chubby torso, my eyes lit up. Problem solved. Walking away from my giggling friends, briefly I met the boy's father's eyes for permission. Once he smiled and nodded softly, I held out the bag in offering.

     The boy's eyes widened in surprise. "For me?"

     I nodded. "I'm afraid I'm not responsible enough to take care of it... But you look like you could handle it."

     "I can." He nodded eagerly. "I already have a tank at home."

     "That's wonderful. And you'll feed him well? Clean his tank?"

     He nodded just as enthusiastically.

     "Here you go then."

     With a delicate grasp, he took the bag and pulled it close to his chest. That fish would have a short life full of love.

     Watching the boy and father join a man with an equally curly haired toddler on his hip, Esme sidled up beside me. She bumped her shoulder with mine, not bothering to step away afterwards. "That was really sweet." She smiled up at me with soft eyes.

     "Nah." I shrugged. "What appears to be a good Samaritan act is actually me trying to rid my hands for the night... I give the poor man at most three weeks before he falls in the never-ending cycle of replacing the orange fish."

     "Hey, don't undermine the gesture." She dropped her hand in the crook of my elbow. "My mom replacing my angel fish every few months is probably the most indispensable part of our bond."

     I inhaled dramatically. "She admitted to the deceitful art of replacing dead pets?"

     Esme laughed and shook her head. "I saw her sneak the tank out of my room one night. Naturally I got curious."

     I shook my head in amused disbelief. "Wait... How many times did you see her replace the fish? Angel fish can live up to 12 years!"

     "Only a handful of times."

     "But fish are one of the easiest pets to care for."

     Esme shrugged amusedly. "She tried her best, but my mother wasn't always the most nurturing. She gets distracted easily."

     "And you?" I crossed my arms playfully. "How are you with animals? You can judge a lot about a person's character based on the way they treat animals."

     "Oh." Esme held her chest out, exaggerating the importance of her words. "I've been known to be quite the animal whisperer. I had a hamster named Quincie who lived for six years, and just this morning I saved a turtle by dragging it to the side of the road."

     "Wow, I'm impressed... And this Quincie, there wasn't any chance he was hibernating, right?"

     Esme paused, amusement flickering. She met my gaze with horror. "Hamsters hibernate!?"

     I nodded sympathetically. "An unfortunate fact that too few people know."

     "Oh my god!" Her hands flew up to her mouth. "I buried Mr. Quincie alive? That's like my worse fear."

     "Well—I mean... He very well may have been dead."

     Esme tilted her head to look at me, blinking in a mixture of terror and humor. Face soothing out after a few breaths, she burst into laughter. "Sabi was right." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "You've got a special kind of way with words."

     I smirked for all of two seconds, eyes darting towards where Sabi stood with the rest of our friends, prepared to tease her for talking about me. But clarity sunk the moment my gaze found my friends. Still at the last station, giving us ample room, they watched Esme and I expectantly. I knew those mischievous, hopeful glints. I whipped around, turning my back to them so they couldn't see my face. I tried to control my face for Esme's sake, but I felt like such an idiot.

     I had become a science experiment. They didn't understand me; didn't understand why my feelings were so different to theirs. And so, they prodded. They pushed and tested my limits with no consideration of how that might affect me. Curiosity got the best of them. Part of me knew those thoughts were unfair. Because I knew a large part of their determination stemmed from their love for me and their desire to make me happy. And they thought this: love, romance, was what I needed to be happy. They had my best interest at heart, but anger flared in my chest, nonetheless. They were completely unaware of the strangling emotions clawing at my identity. I hadn't let them see. I had barely just allowed myself to acknowledge these emotions... But couldn't they see the devastation looming around me? Couldn't they see the earth-shattering confusion? Couldn't we have one group hangout where they didn't push this on me? I couldn't do this anymore. It was tearing me apart.

     "I warned them that this was a bad idea." Esme seemed to shrink where she stood.

     I studied her with knitted brows. She was misunderstanding my anger.

     "I'm sorry if this made you uncomfortable," she went on before I could reassure her. "I really was just trying to be friendly—I never would have made a move without knowing if you were interested."

     "I'm really not mad at you." I managed a weak smile. "You've been great. Truly. If anything, I'm sorry."

     She was puzzled now.

    "I have to go," I explained. "Please don't take this personally because I've honestly enjoyed my night with you. Of course, I'm not angry with you... I'm angry with myself. Angry with my friends even though I know they're trying to help." I bit my lip, tears welling in my eyes. I wouldn't cry. I had already shed too many tears over this. "If you ever find yourself with a possibly hibernating hamster, stop by my clinic. Free of charge."

     She cracked a smile at that.

     "It was nice meeting you, Esme." I took a few steps towards the exit. "Please tell them that I don't want to be followed."

     I walked away; gaze strained straight ahead, not one glance thrown backwards. Even when Sabi called my name from afar, my legs kept moving. I disappeared in a crowed of eager teenagers, shutting off my phone once I called a taxi.

      With a heavy heart and throbbing head, I went home.