With the exception of work, I didn't leave my house. I was embarrassed despite Oliver and Lamar telling me that I had no reason to be. I was too embarrassed to face my friends. I didn't want to face what I suspected to present a mixture of fury, unrelenting questioning, and disappointment. I was too tired for that.

      Making a nest of blankets and junk food on my living room sofa, I spent days distracting myself with television. The tv didn't prove to be a very successful distraction. Every time I started to feel better, every time I felt that I was ready to face the world, my satellite reminded me of my predicament. A romcom would play. I'd see an ad for a dating app. A reality show about finding love would air. Clip after clip, I saw people that found or were seeking love, and I would picture each character or actor pointing and laughing at me. Not one of us, they would chant. It was often shows and movies that I had previously watched and enjoyed, but now they were painful reminders of what I seemed incapable of achieving. It certainly did me no good to research my hypothesis on Google. Typing in Am I incapable of love? in the web browser had proven to be a grave mistake. Was I emotionally deprived? Had I been neglected or rejected in my childhood? Was I a narcissist? These unverified sites certainly seemed to think so.

      I was popping Tylenol every few hours, mind so full of thoughts that I felt they were pounding against my skull to escape. Don't think. Head empty.

     I had another day off and I fully intended on spending it in my pyjamas, sprawled on the couch with my face stuffed in Cheetos. My phone buzzed on the coffee table, group chat lighting up like a Christmas tree. The girls knew I had the day off. We had talked about making plans, earlier in the week. But I was no longer leaving the house unless necessary. I didn't have the energy or desire to socialize. I had even less energy to deal with their criticism.

      I was munching miserably on my Cheetos, on my third family planning infomercial, when my front door swung open. Orange powder dusting my chin and fingertips, stunned, I faced Josie.

     "Hello?!" I greeted her with ridiculously wide eyes.

       Hesitant, Josie shut the front door behind her and came my way, phone held high as if she were putting my living room on display. I spotted multiple heads on her screen and groaned.

      "Friend-evention," she announced dramatically. "I've been elected to lead this intervention."

      I pulled the blanket over my head, hiding from the almost guaranteed judgemental looks.

      "Why would they elect you?" I mumbled gruffly.

     Josie took no offense to my tone and question. She knew what I meant. She wasn't the confrontational type. Forcing your friend out of the safety of their pillow fort wasn't her thing.

     I peeked through the blanket, just enough to see her.

     "Sweet. Innocent." She gestured towards herself, blinking owlishly. "No one would dare say no to me." She puckered her lips like a pleading child to prove her point.

     "Say no to what?"

     "Going out."

     There was no hesitation. "No."

     "Yasmine Sarraf!" Quinn's voice rang through the phone. "You've parked your butt on that crusty sofa for 5 days now. Any longer and you'll have bed sores."

     "So be it." I crossed my arms stubbornly, sticking my chin out childishly. Dina could come nurse my wounds.

     "You're really going to miss out on a girl's day because of one bad date?" Lada gave her input.

     "That's an understatement."

     "Lamar said you were fine," Bella reasoned.

     I shook my head violently, clutching my temples. "You don't understand."

     "Then help us understand," Quinn retorted.

     "But I don't understand it either," I muttered feebly, eyes stinging. "I don't understand myself..."

     I couldn't see the girls on the phone, but from the silence I imagined their features had softened just as Josie's had. Eyes narrowing sympathetically, she knelt in front of me.

     "You don't owe us an explanation." She placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay to be confused, but do you really think you'll find a solution by withering away in your living room?"

     "No," I grumbled aversely.

     "Then there's no reason to object to a beach day."

     "But—I ..." I couldn't find an excuse that they would accept. I would never want to let them down. I was supposed to be the optimist. I didn't want to ruin their day out by being anything but happy. How could I ever explain to them the feeling of keeping up a smile; describe the pain resulting from the joy on your face not matching what you feel on the inside?

     "Damn you, Josephine McKinney." I eventually huffed, sitting up. "Damn you and your irresistible puppy eyes."

     Josie grinned victoriously, taking my hand to pull me up.

      "Told you Jo would do the job," Bella chirped proudly from the phone.

     "And damn you Arabella Binsfield!" I went on, only half-heartedly. "You got me into this mess."

     Bella spluttered defensively. "With your permission!"

     "Yes, well that may have been your first mistake: taking my opinion." I brushed the crumbs off my clothes, tossing the blankets to the floor so Josie could sit. I would need a few minutes to make myself presentable.

     "My bad." Bella grimaced. "I thought it was the way to go. Clearly, I went to the wrong extreme. But I think I get it now. Given another change, I—"

    "No way." She had her chance.

    "But—"

    "No buts, after that mess," I objected.

     "Technically, Quinn got you into this mess." Lada chipped over a grumbling Bella.

     "Hey!"

      Before I could hear any more of their protests, Josie hung up. "Wouldn't want you changing your mind," she laughed nervously.

     "Right." I sighed, reminded that I was expected to leave the safety of my home. "Can you give me 20 minutes to shower?"

     "Please do."

     "Hey!" I protested.

     "Girl." She cocked her head to the side as if to say really? "I found you covered in Cheeto dust and 5 days' worth of hair grease."

     I couldn't even deny that. With heavy feet, I headed for my bathroom.

     Freshly showered and in my beach clothes, if not for my developed immunity to barking, I'd have dropped my beach bag and chair the moment I opened the door. I took one step outside and was jumped by Reginald. Reginald was Jamie's dalmatian.

     Abandoning my bag, I heaved the large dog into my arms, scratching behind his ear with a wide grin. A few feet away, I spotted Jamie. Hand outstretched as if he had been holding Regi's leash, he blinked away the surprise to greet me with a smile. Reg was a strong dog, the blue leash that Jamie had been holding swung limply around his neck.

     "I didn't know they were here." I turned towards Josie almost in accusation. I'd have showered more quickly had I known they were waiting on us.

     "Jamie didn't want to rush you." Josie retrieved my bag from the ground and walked towards the jeep to throw it in the trunk.

     "You should have led with Regi being here," I told the blonde. Wiping slobber from my wet cheek to my shoulder, I carried the dog towards the car.

      "I'll keep that in mind, next time," she laughed. "But I did get the job done, didn't I?"

     "That you did."

     "Was it the eyes?" Jamie chirped from the other side of the door.

     "It's always the damn eyes." I winged, meeting him on his side. I bumped his hip with mine when I saw him reach for the backdoor. "You take shotgun. I'm not letting go of your dog just yet."

     "Speaking of dogs," Jamie started as we settled into our seats and Josie roared down the driveway. "I have something to run by you."

     Holding Reg to my chest, I stared out the window. "Run away."

     "I had intended on keeping it a secret until your birthday, but they're running out and I want to make sure you actually want it, before we call dibs. Plus, you look like you could use a pick me up, right now."

     "Call dibs on what?" I was frowning now, running my fingers against Regi's fur absentmindedly.

     Josie and Jamie shared a glance before grinning madly in anticipation.

     "Regi impregnated the neighbor's Australian Sheppard." Jamie looked at Regi in the rear-view mirror, white ears perking up at the sound of his name. "Nellie's got a few people interested in the litter."

     My hand froze on Regi's back. I moved my gaze from Josie to Jamie in hesitant disbelief. I was silent for many moments, my understanding of their offer delayed.

      "You're getting me a dog!" Regi flinched at my loud outburst.

     Josie and Jamie cackled.

     "Only if you want." Jamie's eyes sparkled; he already knew my answer.

     "Are you kidding?" I answered ridiculously, squeezing Regi a little harder. "I'm getting a mini-Reginald. I will love you both forever."

     High-fiving each other, Josie and Jamie grinned proudly as they fell into a detailed explanation of my upcoming adoption.

     I had always wanted a dog. But with school and the hours spent preparing the clinic I had pushed it off. I was still busy with work, but my hours were becoming more regular, and I was my own boss. Who was going to tell me that I couldn't bring Regi Jr. in the building I owned?

     With the dog news, I felt ready to take on the world. It would take great difficulty to bring me down today. Bring on the worse of my friends' shenanigans.

     It was only a half hour into the ride that I noticed how full the back of the Jeep was. I had only brought a bag with sunscreen, a bathing suit, a towel, and a few snacks. But Josie and Jamie had brought multiple bags, blankets, and coolers.

      "We are just going to the beach, right?" I asked apprehensively.

     Josie nodded, humming as she turned into a corner store pharmacy. When she spotted my curious glance in the back, she elaborated. "There's some kind of big event." Pulling into a parking spot, she reached for her purse. "Lada said to be ready to stay late, just in case."

     "You didn't tell me that!"

     "Sabelia packed extra things for you. We're picking her up after this. We didn't want to over push your willingness to go out..."

     Oh. So, they just tricked me into agreeing? Nice. I wasn't opposed to spending time with my friends. The extra few hours wouldn't have bothered me. They knew that... Unless they had something to hide.

     "No spiritual sex retreats." Josie assured, discerning the swelling uncertainty in my eyes. "I honestly don't know what's happening tonight. But it's not another set-up."

      Instantly, I relaxed, though I wasn't amused by the sparkling hint of laughter dancing across Josie and Jamie's pupils. We had yet to actually speak of the retreat incident, but I was convinced they thought my misery funny.

     "I'm just going to run in and get my estrogen." Josie opened her door. "Do you want anything?"

     "Sun chips and dog treats, please."

     Lips quirked at my request; Josie disappeared into the store. Sabelia living just across the street from the pharmacy, Jamie and I turned in her quaint Victorian home's direction, waiting to greet her.

     I was left alone with Jamie infrequently, but the few times I was, I liked to push the JJ ship. Maybe I was as bad, as much of a meddler as my friends... But in my defense, I had good reason  to meddle. The idiots were hopelessly in love and clueless.

     "Kind of cute how you and Josie chipped in for my birthday gift." I wiggled my brows his way. "Very much a couple thing to do; buying a shared gift." Cough cough, Remus, and Sirius. Hashtag no one can convince me Wolfstar isn't canon.

      Jamie tried to act cool, but his flaming red cheeks were telling. "She was hanging at my place when Nellie broke the news." He shrugged nonchalantly. "We had the same idea at the same time."

     I hummed in disbelief. "Still cute." I leaned forward, poking my head beside his seat with a suggestive smirk. "That sun dress she's wearing is cute too, isn't it? It's so great to see the confidence shine through. She even talked about pulling out the bikini she bought after her last surgery... I bet you'd enjoy that."

      "Yasmine," Jamie warned, voice ruff as he swallowed hard.

     The warning didn't frighten me. He could go there; tease me back all he wanted. There was no way his words could belittle me anymore than mine already had.

     "Something wrong?" I blinked innocently. "You're a little red. Something getting you worked up?"

      "You—I—You know," he stammered, looking anywhere but my eyes. He was staring outside, with no intention on turning around. Inhaling with relief, he sat straighter, nose practically pinned to his window as he tried to get a closer look at something across the street. "Thank god," he breathed out. "Sabelia's coming out."

      Eager for a distraction, he waved wildly to get her attention, waving her over enthusiastically.

    We rolled the window down just in time to hear her yelled greeting from her doorway. Multiple bags slung across her body, she ran down her driveway only to halt abruptly and turn around. She disappeared inside her apartment, reappearing seconds later, prosthetic arm in hand. She waved it around as explanation as if to say Oops. Almost forgot this.

     Crossing the street like she had nine lives, not a care given to the upcoming cars, prosthesis tucked under her chin, she fumbled through her purse, oblivious to the startled driver that had had to break abruptly. I chuckled at the scene, quite accustomed to Sabelia's ways, but Jamie inhaled sharply, eyes open wide. That was Sabelia Senna; smartest and most sophisticated clumsy dumbass I knew. She was the only engineer, top of her class might I had, I knew that would cook a homemade pizza on a wooden cutting board. I hoped Bobbie was a good cook, or he'd lose a few pounds when they finally get together.

     I opened the backdoor just in time for the brunette to crash in the seat next to mine, large book bag narrowly missing Regi.

     "Reginald." She nodded at the dog, and turned towards Jamie, also with a nod. "Future Mr. McKinney-Bourgeois."

     She didn't even have time to witness the reappearance of his blush, she was turning my way. "Hello, mi sol."

     Incapable of not sharing her smile, I shared the enthusiastic greeting. Immediately we fell into an easy conversation about work and the chaos that had ensued when she agreed to have her three nephews sleep over. I was sure Brad had been of little help. Sabelia didn't dare question or tease me about the resort, always observant and attentive to my boundaries but not to the forgotten pencil in her braided bun.

     Screaming some Gaga classics as we drove to the beach, I was rather happy to have such great friends pull me out of my Cheeto nest of doom. It was refreshing to get out of the house. And a beach day with the girls was always interesting... Here's to hoping I wouldn't have to pee on anyone this time.