For the next few hours I avoid Owen at all costs. I have no interest in a 'friend' and especially not in one that wants to 'help' me. I somehow manage to find most classes and along with that all unnecessary social interactions. Those may lead to friendships and friendships lead to questions about my life- including my past. And that is something I don't want to bring up. So, solution? No friends.

 And in Owen's case, I'm fine with it. He's too cheerful, to motivating. He manages to give me a feeling of trust, that I can talk about how I feel with him. And I don't want that. So avoiding him it is.

As the final bell rings, I pack my things up and say a quiet goodbye to my teacher. I fight my way through the crowded hallway, managing to squeeze through gaps in the crowd. I reach the door and let out a sigh of relief as I feel the light wind across my face. 

I clutch my background tighter in my hand and look for my dad's red pick up. I squeeze my eyes against the harsh light as I continue searching for the vehicle. I let out a celebratory smile as I find the car at the end of the parking lot. 

As I start walking to the car, I see my dad leaning on the side of it. He looks up from his phone and waves as he sees me. The sight of my dad however brings back the conversation from this morning.

''I'll drive you to therapy.''

''Your mother talked with the doctors and we agreed it might be beneficial for you to see someone a couple of times a week.''

''We just agreed that especially with everything that happened it would be helpful for you to get some professional advice and help.''

I groan softly at the memory and try to slow my walk down. Hopefully, if I walk slow enough we'll be late and I won't need to go. I realize that my plan will never work, cause my dad meets me halfway. He gives me a hug and grabs my backpack, before walking back to the truck. He throws it into the trunk and walks to his side of the car. He points to my door and says: ''Come on Cara or we'll be late.''

I slide into the car and scowl in frustration. I don't need a psychiatrist and I sure as hell don't need help. There's nothing wrong with me, and besides even if there was, hypothetically of course, what would laying on a couch and talking about my feelings do? Nothing. That's right. I feel the car start to move, my dad pulling out of the parking lot and towards the small city center.

''How was your day peach?'' He asks after a few moments of silence.

''Fine,'' I replied, thinking of some way to get out of this.

''Hey. What did we say about these one syllabus answers?''

I slightly roll my eyes before replying. ''Not to use them.''

''Good, let's try this again. How was your day peach?'' He asks, smiling while cruising through the city center.

''It was fine,'' I say, looking up at him.

He sighs, ''Well not exactly what I was hoping for, but we're making progress.'' He looks at me and chuckles, faintly I smile back. We drive through the busy town and I hear a small taping. I look to my dad and see him drumming his fingers along to the melody again. 

Tap, tap, pause. Tap, tap, tap, pause, tap.

Tap, tap, tap. 

I hear the footsteps of my teammates coming out of the changing room. I just continue to swim. I feel the water on my face as I swim forwards, I tilt my head back to catch some air before going back under again. I feel relaxed and just focus on the water surrounding me. This is my element.

I feel the tiled wall under my hands, a sign that I had reached the end of the pool. I come up for air and climb up the metal steps. I feel the cold air on me, and I quickly reach for a towel.

 I wrap it around myself and take off my goggles and swim cap. Wrapping myself in my towel, I quickly go to my bag and grab my bottle. I chuck back half of it before meeting the rest of my teammates by the edge of the pool.

''Hey Cara. How long have you been here already.'' asks, Jenna, one of my teammates.

I glance up at the clock, 7:52, eight minutes until practice starts. ''About an hour and a half or so,'' I reply.

''Jesus Cara.'' I look to the side to see, Eva another one of my swim mates looking at me. ''Slow down a little. You're doing normal practice plus a couple of hours before and after practice, that's dangerous. You need to pace yourself or else you can get seriously hurt.'' She says, concern lacing her voice.

''Well if I want to make a future out of swimming, I need to practice. A couple hours extra practice will pay off when I get into the big leagues.''

I hear Eva sigh and see her big brown eyes fill with even more concern. ''Yeah, but at what price?''

I look at her indifferently and she sighs, moving on to talk to Jenna about the slumber party tonight and discussing what time they should get there.

''Cara?''

I look up and see Eva looking at me. ''You want to come?''

I look confused.

''To my house. The rest of the team are all coming over. It'll be fun. We'll watch some movies, eat some popcorn and sleep at my house. You want to?''

''I'm good thanks. I already have plans.'' I say.

''Okay, well if you change your mind you can always drop by. You have my address right?''

I nod and she smiles, walking over to some of the other girls, presumably to invite them too. I look at the water, thinking about my plans for the night. 

Another 2 hours or so of practice once the rest of the girls leave, then a night at home looking through the films of my last meets, reflecting on what I could have done better, before going to bed early since I need to get up at 6 to get in some more practice.

Some people may call me cold or aloof, but I just don't find wasting a whole evening on gossip and senseless stuff exciting. That evening could have been better used for other, more important, things.

Many teachers, teammates and family members have told me that I'd benefit from some more human interaction. That it isn't normal that a sixteen-year-old girl spends 3/4 of her day on swim practice ad the other quarter on resting, in preparation of the next practice.

I hear the whistle ring and see our coach with a clipboard. Ready to tell us our events for the meet tomorrow. I quickly walk over, focused and ready. Some people may call me a perfectionist, or obsessed with swimming, but, that's me.

I feel the car stop and I get pushed out of the memory. I look up and see that my dad has parked infant of a gray house, with the sign: Carter Psychology.

''You okay?'' my dad asks, referring to just then when I got my flashback.

''Yeah. Just thinking about some things.'' I say.

He just nods and tells me: ''Well if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here. Okay?''

''Funny,'' I say. ''I thought that's why you're sending me here. Cause you think I have problems and you don't want to deal with them.

I throw open the door and grab my bag. I jump out and make my way to the door. I hear my dad jump out of the truck too, rushing to catch up with me.

''Hey, that's not fair. I'm always here to talk with you.''

I roll my eyes and reply: ''Yeah and that's why I'm being forced to talk to a stranger about my feelings in the hope that I turn back to normal Cara again. Well newsflash, I'll never be normal Cara again, cause swimming was my life and now I don't even have that.'' I snap and push open the door.

I hear him mumble that he'll pick me up in an hour. I don't reply, still mad, so I go up to the reception and tell the receptionist my name and time of my appointment. She types my name in and tells me to wait for a couple minutes by the chairs in the corner. I sit down and wait.

After a few minutes, the receptionist tells me to go through the door on the right, saying Ms.Carter is waiting for me. I walk through the door and I'm greeted by an older lady. About my height with grayish hair, she tells me to take a seat and offers me a tea. I decline and sit down. She gets a small green notebook from her drawer and sits down opposite of me.

''Are you comfortable?'' She asked me, sitting upright on the oversized loveseat, back straight and tense. I nod, lying. She sees through my lie and tells me to make myself comfortable. Hesitantly I lean back in the forest green love chair. I look around the room. Diplomas and nature pictures fill the walls of the office and green seems to be the dominant color.

''So Cara. Tell me why did you decide to move with your dad.'' She starts.

''Cause I was forced to,'' I reply, trying to be as vague as possible. I don't want to be here, anyway, so.

''Have you thought about pursuing another hobby maybe?'' She tries again.

''No.''

And this is how the rest of the session went. Her asking personal and intrusive questions and me doing my utter best to be as vague and annoying as possible.

Ding. I look up to see the little clock, that was placed firmly on the table next to her, ring, signalizing the end of the session. I get up from the chair and she lets out a deep sigh. She noting something down in her notebook and then guides me to the brown wooden door. She holds it open for me and tells me: ''I'll see you next time, maybe we'll be a little more open then. Huh?''

I let out a quiet 'mmh' and walk out of the room. I turn around the corner into the waiting room. I look out of the wide window to see if my dad is there yet, but the big red truck still isn't there yet. I sigh and sit down waiting in one of the plush armchairs and decide to wait inside for him.

Grabbing my phone I unlock it and scroll through my apps. Mindlessly I open the photo app, looking through the pictures. There's not a lot of them just a couple that my mother had sent me, but almost all of them have the same general feel. Me, at a swimming meet. Some show me with my teammates, some show of my winning medal, and some managed to capture me mid-stroke.

I keep on scrolling until I stop at a photo dated to half a year ago. On it me and my parents, on either side of me of course. Even though they divorced a couple years back on were on somewhat of speaking terms when it came to me, they didn't necessarily like each other.

The picture showed them, each with an arm around me, smiling at the camera. I stood in the middle proudly showing off a medal I had just won. It was a meet at the end of school year, a major competition, I had won first place in my events. I smile at the memory, and vow to apologize to my dad for my harsh words.

''Hey Cara. I just wanted to apologize for what happened in the library.''

I look up to see Owen with his school bag standing there. His blond hair forming a halo around his head as he looked down at me. He grasped his dark blue bag with one hand. He stood there silently, waiting for a signal that I had accepted his apology. I reached across to the chair next to me, grabbing my bag and putting it at my feet, signaling that it was okay for him to sit down. He smiled at the gesture and sat down to my right. We sit in silence for a few moments.

''I just wanted to say, you know with everything in the library, I'm always here. If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm always there. You know I'm here for you. Everything will turn out okay.''

I cringe as I hear his words.

I'm here for you.

Everything will turn out okay.

The only thing I heard from people after the accident. That they're sorry for me, that they're here for me. They'd say it and look at me with sadness and... pity. I don't need anyone's pity. I don't need their empty words or sadness in their eyes. I stand up and scoff, grabbing my backpack along the way.

''Just leave me alone Owen.' I say and walk towards the door.

''Wait Cara. What did I do wrong?'' He asks getting up too.

''You cared. That's what you did. I don't want your pity and I sure as hell don't need your help.''

''Hold on!'' I hear him say. I feel his hands on my wrist. I turn around anger filling my eyes.

Swimming was the only thing I really had going for me. It was a guaranteed future. The only thing that I was ever good at, gone. Slipping right through my fingers cause of one injury. One injury! So don't tell me you're here for me okay? You have no idea what I'm going through!''

I rip my hand out of his hold and rush through the door.

Hiii🙋🏼‍♀️,
So what are your thought? 

Please comment, I am always open to any feedback and critique. Please drop a vote and share if you liked it!

Stay safe out there,

- Blair✨