''Okay, now please lift this up over your head." The physical therapist that I've been meeting with for the past month with, says, while extending a small blue weight.

I take it from her hand, but fail to raise it over my head, as my shoulder aches at the sudden weight. Frustrated, I drop the weight on the floor.

"I can't." She sighs and picks up the weight.

''Come on Cara! You can.'' She replies, trying to motivate me with her perky upright tone, while still holding the weight towards me.

I roll my eyes and sneak a look at the weight. In small white letters it says, 3 Lbs. I groan in frustration as I realize how truly weak I've gotten.

''It's not like it's helping. I can barely use my shoulder at all.''

"These things just take time Cara. Now come on, let's just try it again." She tries.

"What's the use? It's not like I'll ever be able to swim again."

"You don't know that for sure," She chirps, "miracles can always happen!".

I turn away, not wanting to look at her.

She continues, "Besides, what about all the other things in life? Surely there's something else to work forward to?", and extends the weight towards me again.

"No there's not." I snap. I see her flinch back, but I don't stop. ''Don't you get it? There is nothing else in my life because swimming was my life. It was my lifelong dream, and now what? What do I have?'' I yell.

I get up and grab my bag with my uninjured hand. She tries to stop me but I just push past her. My shoulder cramps as I bump into her but I ignore it and stomp out of the room.

''Cara, what's wrong? I thought you still had 20 minutes?'' I hear my mother call out from the waiting room, presumably waiting for me to finish.

I don't answer I just storm past the waiting room. I blindly storm through the facility, walking through the closest door.

As I run through the gym facility I begin to contemplate.

What is the point of this?

I'm never ever going to swim again.

My life is over.

What am I supposed to do now?

My future is dead.

I don't realize where I'm walking until I see it. The long Olympic size pool.

Sitting down on one of the benches placed around the pool, I eye the pool with longing.

32 days, 7 hours, and 56 minutes since I last entered a pool.

32 days, 7 hours and 56 minutes since the so familiar smell of chlorine-filled water has filled my nose.

32 days, 7 hours, and 56 minutes since I've heard the splashing of an arm hitting the water.

32 days, 7 hours, and 56 minutes since I last swam.

I don't know how long I sit there, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells surrounding me when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I look up to see my mother behind me. ''Let's go home, honey.'' She tells me.

Mentally and physically exhausted I just get up. As I allow her to envelope me in a hug, only one thought runs around my head.

What is the point of my life?

Hiii🙋🏼‍♀️,
So what are your thought? Things are getting more intense, huh?  

Please comment, I am always open to any feedback and critique. Please drop a vote and share if you liked it!

~XOXO, Blair✨