八: Reflecting Over the Past

China sat in the corner of his unlit room gloomily. Silent tears had been running down his cheeks. His breaths were choppy and uneven, yet he tried his best to remain quiet, since it was in the middle of the night.

He hugged his knees and leaned against the wall, burying his face into his knees. He sniffled and bit his lip, his eyes filling with tears again. They landed on the soft fabric of his pajamas. His hair was still in his usual ponytail, but it was messy and untidy.

Yào sat there in the darkness, trying to calm himself down. He finally stopped, and dared to look outside the window again, at the full, rice-white moon. But his daring led to another wave of sadness, and he let out a little sob.

The country exhaled, looking away from the window and casting his eyes down. He leaned his head against the wall. He closed his eyes, wishing for all the memories to come back and repeat themselves. But he knew that it would never happen.

China hadn't even noticed that his bedroom door had opened. As nimble and silent as a ninja, it was almost as if she had appeared right by his side.

She gently held up his tear stained face with both hands, staring into his pain-filled brown eyes. The usual fire that was in her eyes had softened, turning sad. She had never seen him this broken before. She never wanted anyone else to feel sad: how could she have been so short-sighted as to not notice this?

She never wanted anyone to feel bad about themselves, but it was obviously impossible for this to happen. She was familiar with this feeling, so she tried her best to make everyone happy. Feeling Unwanted. Rejected. Useless. Lonely. She was familiar with them all. Very familiar. She didn't want them to feel sad so badly that she would even cry with them, although the situation might not be her business. That was why she didn't want anyone to feel this way. Especially not her closest friends.

"Why didn't you tell me?" the girl whispered softly, her eyes filling with their own sadness.

China simply shook his head, blinking away the moisture that had formed up at the corner of his eyes. Seeing that he had decided to remain silent and didn't intend on speaking, she placed her hands on his shoulders, making him move to face her. The girl gently brushed away the tears with her finger.

"It's okay, you can tell me."

At these words, he sprung forwards and hugged her tightly, catching her by surprise. He buried his face into the crook of her neck, crying freely as quiet sobs wracked his body.

After a while, Samantha wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close and rubbing his back. She wasn't good at comforting others, so she kept quiet and let him weep. The silence was comfortable, and thankfully, it wasn't awkward or tense.

Once Yào pulled away, he wiped away his tears and tried to smile, but it came out awkwardly. She put a hand on his head, and stroked it gently, no matter how weird the action may seem. The girl leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose, making the Asian country's eyes widen, as if it were the last thing he had been expecting.

"Y-You didn't have to waste your sleep fo-for me a-aru..." China murmured, his voice cracking.

Samantha chuckled. "I'm not wasting my sleep when you're around," she replied.

"That's g-good to hear," the country commented. "You should go sleep now, aru. It's 2:37 in the morning. I'll stay here just for a little bit longer." He glanced out the window.

"I'm not going anywhere, Panda. I'm staying right here with you," she said stubbornly, latching onto his arm.

"You can be so stubborn, aru."

She smiled and yawned, growing sleepy. Her eyes started to get droopy, but she blinked rapidly to keep her alert. Immediately, China scooped her up, carrying her to her room as she protested and flailed her arms around.

"No, stop--Don't carry me--" Samantha yawned. "Put me down, now..."

But Yào had ignored the teen, continuing down the hallway. He entered her room and set her down on her bed. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Good night, aru."

He turned to leave, but she grabbed his wrist, pulling him back.

"No. You're going to stay right here, and I'm not gonna let you go back there and cry alone. If you absolutely must, do it here--actually, no. You're gonna stay here and I'm," she yawned again, "I'm going to sit here and watch you until you've fallen asleep. I'm not letting you outta my sight."

The girl jumped off and made him lie down on the mattress, then pulled the covers over him. She then pulled out a nearby chair and sat on it crossed-legged, propping her head up with her hand. She stared at him, her brown eyes unwavering.

But then it happened, almost in a split second. The girl's head suddenly lolled forwards, but it remained resting in her palm. China sighed and chuckled, smiling in amusement.

"That stubborn girl can fall asleep anywhere at anytime and in any position, aru," he muttered to nobody in particular.

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