Word count: 2,660

Trigger warnings: heartbreak, sad thoughts(not sure if that needs a Tw but just incase)

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He is so sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous

"So how are things with you and Anthony?" Hermione asked, looking pointedly at Harry. "They're going great.. he's really brilliant.." Harry replied with an uneasy smile. "I'm so jealous, he seems like the perfect guy." Ginny awkwardly added to the conversation, making Harry chuckle.

"Yeah... perfect... he is." Harry said but this time they caught the uncertainty in his voice. They all knew what that meant.

He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better

Anthony finally joined their table at breakfast and pressed a kiss to Harry's cheek. "Hello love, how are you today?" Harry gave a lopsided smile, pushing his glasses up, "I'm alright. Really tired." Anthony nodded, smiling at his boyfriend.

"If you need to you can come to my dorm any time you need. You don't need to deal with your nightmares alone my love." Harry grabbed his hand giving it a squeeze, "you always know what I need to hear. Thank you." Anthony nodded, kissing Harry's forehead and beginning his breakfast.

He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

Harry sat thinking back to his first date with Anthony, it had only been a month or so ago, so the memory was still freshly detailed in his brain. Anthony had shown up at this door, flowers in hand. "You look beautiful Harry." Anthony said holding out his hand for the raven haired boy.

Harry took his arm, thanking him softly. They had a beautiful dinner, at a fancy muggle restaurant. Anthony was perfect..

Harry couldn't help but look over at the slytherin table sighing, as he locked eyes quickly with his ex. He peeled his eyes away and frowned. Anthony was perfect, but not perfect for him.

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name

Harry thought back to Draco. All of the fights and screaming, and yet he missed him dearly. He missed his touch, and his voice. Draco was too out of reach though. He remembered their last kiss, they had been arguing for what felt like hours.

"You don't get it Draco, I have to be an Auror it's what is expected of me!" Harry yelled after Draco had stopped him from running away from the house. "You don't have to do what's expected of you anymore Harry! The war is over, voldemorts dead! You're such an idiot don't you get it!" Harry's face turned red, and he glared at Draco through the rain on his glasses.

"You don't get to call me an idiot over how I live my life!" Harry retorted turning to walk away again. Draco gripped his arm harder pulling him in for a kiss. "I'm calling you an idiot because you are one Harry. You can't save everyone." Harry shook his head, "I clearly can't save this relationship.." Harry said clearly trying to tug free from Draco's grip. Draco let go of Harry's arm, seeing the red rings that were around Harry's wrist.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm so sorry." Harry shook his head again, "you never do, and yet you always manage. I'm sorry Draco, this relationship is just so toxic.." Harry turned and left without another word. Leaving Draco alone in the rain.

So in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you

Harry was right. Their relationship was toxic, there was always fighting and screaming and hexing. It wasn't good chaos but it was something both boys turned back to many times. Harry loved Draco, even still and everyone knew it from the way they looked at each other. Sadly for Anthony he seemed to be blind to the way his boyfriend stared at the blonde. Longing for his love once more.

Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kind of rush

No matter how amazing Anthony was, Harry would just never love him the way he loved Draco. Harry felt a rush with Draco, he felt alive and seen. He was too daft to realize that it would always be Draco. He thought he could move on, and all of these feelings would go away, but they seemed to get worse.

Draco was emotional, and loud, and hot headed, and stubborn.. but that's exactly why Harry loved him.

And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

Harry never meant to fall in love with Draco, he never even thought it to be possible for them to be friends. They were the best of friends though, and they fell in love slowly. Now they couldn't even make eye contact without their hearts aching for what they felt they couldn't have.

He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will

Harry tried to think more of Anthony and not of Draco. Anthony was great really. He was always respectful, and gave Harry space when his PTSD was bad. He was never late for any of their dates, he was always there for Harry.

He really was perfect. Just not perfect for Harry.

He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father

"Anthony did you want to partner up on our potions project?" Ron asked smiling at the blonde lad. "As long as it's alright with Harry and Hermione." Hermione smiled, patting Anthony's hand, "you can have him! I'll take Harry." She said shooting her bestfriend a sympathetic look.

Hermione knew how Harry felt, and so did Ron. Anthony was close with both of them and they knew Harry was going to break his heart. They just respected Harry enough to let Harry do it himself, once he stopped being oblivious of course.

He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable

Harry did like Anthony, in his mind that made it so much harder. He knew he couldn't drag him along much longer, it wasn't fair. Anthony was respectful and kind and charming, Harry truly felt comfortable around him.. but he just wasn't Draco.

These thoughts pondered around in Harry's mind for what felt like ages. How long had they been at breakfast? Harry looked over towards the slytherin table again, frowning when he saw Draco looking right back at him. Draco smiled softly, it wasn't easy for him to watch Harry and Anthony, but he told himself he wanted Harry happy nonetheless.

Harry smiled back, somewhat sadly.. his thoughts drifting back to Draco.

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And It's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name

"I need to go." Harry said his voice cracking as he thought about how much he missed his Draco. "Are you alright love?" Anthony asked, looking worriedly at Harry. "No.. I'm not." Harry said beginning to cry. "Please just I need some space." Harry said as a sob escaped his mouth and he left the great hall. He ran straight out of hogwarts, outside where it was pouring.

Harry missed Draco. He knew he couldn't keep dragging Anthony on. He thought of all of the fights with Draco, all of the screaming, he couldn't exactly pinpoint what any of them were about at the moment. Draco's love was intoxicating, and maybe if Harry would've stayed the day they kissed in the rain he could've worked towards something better. Maybe him and Draco could've had a chance.

You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you

Harry screamed, he dropped to his knees in sobs. Letting the thunderstorm drown out his noises of pain. He screamed until his throat felt raw, because loving Draco made him insane. Insane in the best ways possible.

Harry figured maybe Draco was already over him, that maybe these last eight months hadn't been so hard for him. Harry had hoped so at least, as much as it broke him he wanted Draco to be happy, he didn't want Draco to feel the way he does right now.

That was one of the things Draco both admired and loved most about Harry. He was insane, he was impulsive, and loud, and messy.. but no matter any of that Draco loved how much Harry always cared. If Harry could only see that people care for him as well, that ever since they broke up Draco hasn't gone a day without missing him. If Harry could see Draco secretly catching up with Ron and Hermione, checking up on him. Maybe things would be different, maybe they could just get over this and work it out.

Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kind of rush

Harry was having a mental breakdown at this point, still sitting in the rain crying. He thought of every moment he had with Draco, and every moment he's had with Anthony. As perfect as Anthony was, Harry realized he was never perfect for him. Not the way Harry needed him to be, because he wasn't Draco. Harry felt even worse coming to this realization, because that meant he had to end things with Anthony. He had to break things off, and go try to fix what he and Draco so easily threw away.

And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

Harry wasn't sure how to go through with it. He knew how much it would destroy Anthony. Harry cursed himself for letting things get this far. He should've never gotten with someone when he was in love with someone else. None of this was fair to Anthony, but that's how love worked sometimes. It just wasn't fair.

Harry got up, and walked inside, casting a quick drying charm over himself. He headed to potions, eyes still puffy and swollen. "Harry my boy, are you alright?" Slug horn asked, causing everyone to turn to the door. Harry locked eyes with Draco immediately, who frowned and turned his head away. "No professor, but I'm here." Slug horn nodded, continuing on with his lesson.

Harry walked over to his and Hermione's table, ignoring her look of pity. He tapped Anthony's shoulder.

He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking

Harry smiled to the best of his ability, hoping Anthony believed it. "Yes love?" Anthony said in a hushed tone, "can we speak after this class?" Harry said, mentally persuading his voice not to break. He knew any wrong move would make him break down again. Anthony nodded, "of course Hazza." He said it so softly that it truly made Harry smile. Harry loved the way he cared, but he just wasn't for him.

Draco looked back again, making eye contact with Harry once more. If the room had been more quiet, everyone would've heard their hearts breaking for the millionth time... but it was quite loud in the room, and both boys were acting as if their heart wasn't broken. So they smiled and nodded at each other, before turning to their friends. Pansy and Hermione shared a sad glance, something they did often after catching the boys staring.

Because everyone knew Draco and Harry loved each other.

Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy

"What did you want to talk about my love?" Anthony asked as they exited the classroom. Harry sighed, knowing what had to be done. "I can't keep doing this to you Anthony, my heart belongs to someone else and it's not fair to you." Harry tried to look upset, but he didn't really feel anything at all.

"I know your heart belongs to someone else, don't think I didn't notice. As long as you promise to go be happy Harry." Harry sighed, he felt crazy, he wasn't even sure if Draco wanted to fix anything. He had to have hope though. "I promise to try, thank you for everything Anthony. I'm so sorry." Anthony shrugged, smiling sadly. "We just weren't written in the stars, it happens to the best of us. Go get your slytherin." Anthony said placing one last soft kiss on Harry's lips before walking away.

Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated
Got away by some mistake and now

Harry thought of Draco again, something that wasn't so surprising anymore. He ran to find him, hoping the blonde hadn't gotten too far. "Draco." Harry yelled as he spotted him. Draco turned around with a sad look on his face, questioning if he should run or not. Harry was always so complicated, but Draco felt pulled to him. Draco walked slowly back to where Harry was, ignoring Pansy's protest.

"Yes Harry?" Draco said softly, trying not to show how weak he felt. "Can we please talk? I have a lot I need to say, to get off my chest." Harry hoped he'd agree, his heart was racing, and he felt sick to his stomach. He wanted his Draco back, he should've never let him get away. Much to Harry's approval, Draco nodded. Harry smiled, the most genuine smile anyones seen from him in months.

The boys walked side by side to the astronomy tower.

I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
It's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name

"So what do you want to talk about?" Draco asked, unsure of what to say. Harry sat down under the rain, patting the spot next to him. "Harry you're nuts it's pouring." Harry laughed, shaking his head, "humor me." Is all he said as Draco sat down.

"I miss you. I'm not sure how you still feel, or if you even feel the same way but I miss you. I miss the bickering and the stupid arguments and you. I miss you and everything we had. I'm tired of cursing your name in the middle of the night, I'm tired of pretending I moved on when I can't even look at you without my heart breaking. I thought we were broken beyond repair, but that's never the case if you love someone.."

I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you

Harry trailed off, looking at Draco for any sign of emotion. His Draco looked sad and it broke his heart a little more. "I am so utterly in love with you Draco. Even still. I thought moving on and trying to block you out would help you and maybe it has but it's been hell for me. It took me way too long to realize that, it was all worth it. Even the moments we hated they brought us closer together and I ran away too quickly. I'm an idiot."

Breaking down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kind of rush

And when Harry placed his hand on top of Draco's, the blonde felt that familiar rush he'd always felt when he was with Harry. So many thoughts crossing both boys minds and neither wanted to move as to protect the atmosphere around them. Draco looked into Harry's eyes, searching for any sign that what he was saying wasn't true.

And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

In that moment both boys knew they were going to be stuck with each other the rest of their lives. They leaned in slowly, connecting their lips in the most love filled, passionate kiss the boys had shared thus far. Neither one could get enough of each other.

When they pulled apart, resting their foreheads together, neither boy ever knew they could feel that much love for another. They broke out into a fit of tears and soft little giggles.

"I love you, Harry Potter."

"And I love you, Draco Malfoy. Forever."

"And always, my sweet boy."

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A/N okay I absolutely loved this idea and I really like how the story actually turned out.. so enjoy loves xo