Word count: 2,470

Trigger warnings: Mention of depression, nothing descriptive.

Dedicating this to SettleDown1D  because it's her birthday and I can. Happy birthday again J🤍

Also this is inspired by catch fire (5sos) but I've given it a bit of a different meaning and idk how I feel so let me know what you guys think of it! Thank you.

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Oh say, can you see? This is not who I'm supposed to be

Harry felt like his days were pointless, and long. Wake up, go to work. Fight bad guys. Sit on stakeouts sometimes. Go home, take care of Teddy. Then sleep. Same schedule, everyday.

He was exhausted, he felt like his life was missing something. He should have never joined the aurors. He wouldn't trade taking care of Teddy for the world, but there was just something missing in his life that he couldn't pinpoint

"You alright mate?" Ron whispered, making Harry jump. "Yeah just zoned out, sorry," he mumbled back, picking at the skin around his nails.

Ron frowned, with a concerned look on his face. Harry hadn't been the same lately and everyone noticed, but they couldn't get him to talk, and they couldn't get him to see a healer.

"Weasley, Potter, Granger has informed me she'd like to see you in her office," they heard a familiar voice say. They both looked up and smiled at Malfoy, "thanks mate." Ron said, standing up immediately. When Hermione said she wanted to see someone, she didn't like to be left waiting.

Ron eyed Harry, as he smiled for the first time today at Malfoy, "thanks ferret," the black hair boy teased.

Malfoy rolled his eyes, glaring at the boy, "anytime, golden boy." Both chuckled, and Harry stood up to follow Ron. "Lead the way lover boy," Harry teased, making Ron raise an eyebrow at him.

Interesting, thought Ron, keeping his head down.

Without you I'm nobody killing time

Draco shook his head, smiling as Weasley and Potter skipped off. The golden trio sort of adopted him in a way after the war. He'd made his proper amends, and never thought he'd be returned with friendship.

Of course it didn't happen overnight, Ron was the hardest to befriend. It took nearly a year and a half postwar to get the carrot top to warm up to the idea of being friendly with the blonde.

Harry was surprisingly the first to get over everything, almost immediately forgiving and befriending Draco.

Hermione took some time as well to adjust to the idea, but now her and Draco were the closest out of the group. They worked well together, and they both had a strong head on their shoulders. Somehow it worked for them.

Someone cleared their throat, making Draco jump. "Draco darling, staring at Harry's desk fantasizing again?" Draco rolled his eyes at his best friend, she was forever teasing him about his crush on Potter.

"No Pansy, I was just letting him and Ron know Hermione needed them. I'm over that whole feelings for Potter thing," he blushed, knowing good and well he was not over it. He had been pining over half of his life, and it didn't seem he'd stop anytime soon.

He'd been single forever, and he didn't know the first thing about making a move in the right direction. He longed to finally admit his feelings, but he didn't want to push it. Him and Potter were finally friends, even though it took them nearly nine years from his first attempt to get there.

"Sure darling, whatever you say, you're going to be lonely little Draco forever. Without your balls, which you clearly don't have. You're wasting your life away pining when you both could just get over yourselves and be together. You're killing precious time."

Draco rolled his eyes at his friend's dramatics, "it's not that bad Pansy, I like being friends with him. That's all I need."

I try to deceive, try to win you desperately
Now I'm lost in the swirling sea of your sorry eyes

"What did you need, Hermione?" Ron asked, glancing over at Harry, eyeing the still saddened expression he was wearing. "Do you guys want to have dinner with Draco, Blaise, and Pansy tonight?" Ron and Harry both looked up dumbfounded.

"Couldn't.. couldn't Malfoy have just asked us that instead of us coming up here?" Hermione laughed at her fiancé, shrugging. "I suppose, maybe I wanted to see my favorite boys though. Is that a yes?"

"I'll have to bring Teddy, but yes I'll be there," Harry said quietly, causing Ron and Hermione to give each other concerned expressions. "Of course Harry, Teddy is always welcomed, Alright, that's all I needed boys, love you."

"Love you," Ron said.

"Love you Mione," Harry mumbled, forcing a smile.

"I need to talk to Hermione, I'll catch up mate." Ron said, to which Harry just nodded, walking out with his head down. "I'm worried about him," Hermione sighed, biting her lip.

"Me too love, but I think I've finally caught on to what may help. Have you noticed how he and Malfoy interact? I think they may fancy each other."

While Hermione and Ron discussed the possible feelings between their friends, Harry had gotten back to his desk to finish more paperwork. "You alright Harry?" He heard Malfoy again, in a much softer tone than the previous interaction, "doing fine, thank you," Harry said I'm the most believable tone he could muster up, trying to get his mate to believe him.

Harry felt bad lying to his friends, but he didn't know how else to protect them. They don't need to know how bad everything is.  Draco looked at Harry with sorry eyes, he wished nothing more than to help Harry out of this depression he was in.

He couldn't do that if Harry kept trying to deceive them, pretending everything was alright. He frowned, nodding at Potter, "alright, I'll see you tonight then, golden boy."

"See you tonight, ferret."

All my life I've been waiting for moments to come
When I catch fire, and wash over you like the sun
I will fight to fix up and get things right
I can't change the world but maybe I'll change your mind

"Come on Teddy, let's go see your aunts and uncles." Teddy squealed, "uncy Ron?" The toddler said, clapping. He loved his uncle Ron. Harry smiled picking up the tot, "yes love, Uncy Ron will be there. So will aunt Mione, uncy Dray, aunt Pans, and uncy B." Teddy kicked his feet in excitement, it made Harry smile.

When they arrived at the restaurant located in a small muggle town Harry sighed in relief. The owners knew Hermione's parents and knew of the situation and always gave them a private room, which Harry was thankful for because it was hard to explain to a bunch of muggles that the toddler did in fact make a plate explode by looking at it and no he wasn't sure how.

"Where uncy Dray?" Teddy questioned, a little pout on his lips. Harry smiled, he loved how close Teddy was with all of his friends, "he will be here love. Do you want to say hi to everyone?"

Teddy nodded, trying to squirm out of Harry's hands. Harry set him down and he ran straight to Ron. "Uncy Ron!" Teddy screamed, making 'uppy hands'-as he called them-to Ron.

Ron chuckled, picking him up slowly, "how's my favorite little nephew huh Teddy?" Ron said, smiling widely.

Harry loved watching Teddy interact with his family, "well I'd have been here sooner if I knew my favorite person was going to be here." A voice being him said, he jumped realizing how close Draco was to him. "Should've seen his pout when he thought you weren't coming, he's going to be thrilled to see you."

Draco smiled, nudging Harry with his shoulder and motioning him to follow. Draco pulled Harry's chair out for him, causing Harry to blush, "thank you." He mumbled, smiling up at Draco.

All of their friends watched the interaction with knowing looks, and Hermione Granger had to curse mentally, because for once her fiancé was right. Draco was sort of like the sun, washing over Harry and taking the sadness away. Of course Harry needed more help than that, but it seemed Draco was surely something that made Harry happier than he had been.

Ron handed Teddy to Draco, and everyone kept a close eye on the two as they were locked into conversation with each other.

Draco knew they were watching, and he'd be a fool to say he didn't know why. Draco knew how much he was probably blushing right now, he always felt himself entranced in any conversation Potter was willing to have with him.

Draco wished he could change Harry's mind about everything, he wished he could make him see that he wasn't just here for sometime. He knew how Harry looked at his friendships, like they were on a timer. Everyone Harry has loved has left him, and Draco wasn't going to be one of those people.

He just had to act perfectly to change Harry's mind, to show him he would fight until his last breath not to leave Harry.

Draco Malfoy wanted to be Harry's everything, his comfort, his sun, his smile, everything. He just had to figure out how to portray that a little louder, so that Harry would hear him.

Oh say, do you know? I'm a fool in a one-man show
I'm a broken stereo, out of time

Draco sighed at his thoughts though, because deep down he knew Harry would never feel the same way for him. It was one sided love at best, and Draco couldn't pretend it didn't hurt. The only thing saving him was their friendship.

"Are you doing okay?" Draco asked quietly, noticing Harry's finger bleeding from picking at it. "I'm fine, thanks," Harry said bashfully, using a napkin quickly to wipe the blood off his finger.

Draco shook his head, trying not to alert the whole table that he was frustrated. "Harry, can we speak outside please? Teddy, who do you want to sit with?"

"Aun Mione." Teddy mumbled, clapping as Draco moved Teddy to Hermione's lap, "come on," the blonde mumbled, dragging Potter out of the room they were in.

"Draco stop you're hurting my wrist, what is wrong?" Harry gasped, ripping his arm out of Draco's grasp. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you I'm just frustrated okay? Wait til we get outside."

They finally got outside the restaurant and Draco turned to Harry, "you can't keep lying. You can't pretend everything is fine, nothing is fine, with any of us and that's okay. We survived a war for Salazar's sake. None of us are okay Harry, but I cannot keep watching you do this to yourself okay? I care about you, and it's driving me insane!"

Harry stared at Draco for a few seconds, not responding. He shook his head, forcing out an almost manic laugh. "I said I was fine and I meant it, Draco. Leave me alone about it. I'm tired of everyone acting like they know what's best for me-"

"We're not acting like we know what's best for you, we're just worried about you Potter! Get it through your head that we care about you, all of us. We love you and I'm sorry that we seem pushy, but I'm afraid that one of these days I'm going to run out of time!

One of these days you're going to be so exhausted from holding everything in and you're going to disappear and then what the fuck am I going to do without you huh? Do you expect everyone to just be fine when you get so bad you end it? You know how much it hurts to have lost Sirius, Remus, your parents, Fred, you know the feeling. So I'm sorry we don't leave you alone enough, but I'm afraid if I leave you alone you're going to leave forever!"

With tears streaming down his face Draco apparated away, he couldn't handle being around Harry anymore. He was just so frustrated with him. How could Potter not see how much he meant to him? To everyone.

So how does it feel? All alone, is it so surreal?
Because the ghost of survivor's guilt can be so unkind (bit of a time jump)

"I shouldn't have yelled at him." Draco said with his hands in his hair. Pacing Hermione's office as she tried to calm Teddy down. After Draco left that night, Harry asked Hermione and Ron to watch Teddy for a couple of nights. He disappeared after that, and no one's seen him for a week.

"It isn't your fault Draco, we're doing everything we can to find him, but Harry has been this way since the war ended. He probably needed space to think."

"I didn't even tell him I love him," Draco said with a dry chuckle. "You love him?" Hermione questions, in the most convincing voice possible, "you knew that Granger. You all knew. He's the only one who didn't know, now he's out there and no one knows when he's coming back and he doesn't know I love him."

"I knew. I've known for awhile, and I love you too," the pair jumps, and Teddy starts squealing in excitement, "daddys back!"

Harry walks over and grabs Teddy, "I'm back love and I'm sorry I left." He glances at Draco who is staring dumbfounded.

Harry chuckles, setting Teddy back down with Mione. "I will be right back, Draco?" Draco nods silently, following Harry out. "I'm so sorry," Harry says sighing, "I never wanted to worry you guys, I just needed space to think about everything. Everything you said."

"Well.. what did you think about?" Draco questioned, his heart still racing from Harry saying he loved him.

"I talked to a healer, one I'm going to see frequently and regularly. The survivors guilt was killing me, and I realized I needed to focus on who I have and not who I had. I felt alone, and I have felt like something was missing for awhile. You're what's missing Draco, you're the something I need. You light a fire inside of me, I just want to wash over you like the sun, the same way you do for me. I love you Draco."

By the time Harry finished talking Draco was crying, and he wasn't sure what to say to Harry, so he said the only thing he could, "I love you too Harry."

Harry pulled the crying man closer, cupping his cheek with his hand, and running a thumb across his bottom lip, "may I kiss you?" He asked quietly, looking up to meet Draco's eyes. Draco nodded once, and Harry gently pressed his lips to Draco's.

They stood there for awhile, forehead to forehead, with smiles on their faces. Harry had found his missing link, and found who he was supposed to be. Draco found the one he was nobody without.

They found each other, just like they were supposed to from the beginning.