--inspired by a tumblr post--

city vlog #7
harry potter
2,307,584 subscribers
21:34 minutes
3,834,484 views

"What's up you guys!" Harry cheered as he spun around, camera in hand. "Welcome back to my channel, Harry Potter here, you know the gist. As you can see in the title of the video, today I'm going out to the city with some of my friends, and we're just gonna vlog a lot of it, and I'm bringing you guys along with me!"

"Hell yeah!" Ron cheered. "We're bringing Padfoot too."

Said dog tugged on the leash Hermione was currently holding, and Harry laughed. 

"We're just waiting for Ginny, and then we'll go," Luna added, poking her head over Harry's shoulder to smile at the camera.

"If she would hurry up!" Ron shouted up the stairs.

"Bite me, Ronald!" Ginny's head poked around the corner. "Luna, my bra is stuck in my hair."

As Luna dashed off camera, Harry turned back to face it, smile still present on his face.

"So, I'm hoping to get a new ring light because mine is ass, and then we're going to get some ice cream and check out the new fountain they built, and-" Harry glanced up, before lowering his voice. "We're gonna look for birthday presents for Ginny. Don't worry, I won't publish this video until after her birthday. Although, you already know that. I'm just clarifying."

"Here!" Ginny cheered, rushing around the corner. "Let's go, ladies!"

a PSA by me
harry potter
2,394,656 subscribers
0:08 minutes
6,348,336 views

"Guys," Harry sighed, spinning dramatically around in his chair. "I gotta be honest with you. Boys are hot as fucK-"

He fell off his chair at the last word.

my truth
harry potter
2,576,322 subscribers
34:11 minutes
7,487,838 views

"Hello," Harry sighed, face serious, before he broke into a smile. "I'm kidding. This is far from a serious video."

Ginny hopped into frame, landing on Harry's lap and smiling brightly.

"Hello. My name is Harry Potter. I'm not gay. I'm not straight. I'm certainly not dating Ginny, and she's not straight either. Yes, we used to date. No, I don't have a significant other."

Luna poked her head in, kissing Ginny for about five awkward seconds before Harry pushed Ginny off his lap and told them to get a room.

"So, let me tell you my story," Harry began with a smile.

i lost a bet
harry potter
4,389,663 subscribers
23:14 minutes
5,383,222 views

"I lost a bet," Harry started with a sigh.

"He should have learned not to bet against me by now," Hermione said with a grin.

"We're giving him a makeover!" Ginny cheered.

Harry sighed, but the grin on his face was obvious.

"First, I've picked out an outfit for him," Ginny continued, still smiling. She held it up. "Wear it."

"There's so much yellow, I hate yellow!" Harry complained.

"Don't care."

Harry huffed, but grabbed the clothes and went into his room to put them on. A minute later, he came out wearing a yellow crop top and white jeans, along with matching yellow shoes.

"I hate you," he grumbled. Ginny beamed.

"You look hot."

Hermione studied his hair for a while before she put the long curls in a messy bun atop his head.

While Hermione started talking about different hair care processes for different kinds of hair, Luna started putting small stick-on gems on Harry's face.

"They pop on your dark skin," she giggled, before moving on to shimmer on his eyelids.

this was supposed to be a makeup video
harry potter
4,394,634 subscribers
16:26 minutes
5,488,342 views

"Alright, I actually really liked the makeup Luna did on me last week, so I'm going to be looking at makeup videos on YouTube and try to recreate one maybe. Let's see... you guys have recommended this one a lot. Let's watch it."

Bisexual Pride Look
Draco Black
6,445,563 subscribers
21:13 minutes
9,577,474 views

"Good morning angels," the blonde boy said calmly as he sat in front of the camera. "In honor of pride month, I am going to be doing pride looks for different flags. Today's is bisexual pride. Although I myself am gay, bisexuals are often erased in the media or frowned upon for being 'selfish' or 'too afraid to commit to one or the other'. Bullshit. So, today we're doing a lovely little bisexual pride look."

Harry looked up from his computer screen and stared at his own camera.

"That is the most beautiful boy I've ever seen," he said, straight-faced (do NOT make a joke about that). "And he supports bisexuals? Fuck the makeup video, I'm stalking his channel. Oh, this one looks interesting. It's his newest video."

Listen Up, Fuckers.
Draco Black
6,783,327 subscribers
10:15 minutes
14,382,953 views

Draco sat down in front of the camera, looking irritated.

"Good morning, angels," he started, exhausted. "We have a problem."

Two people sat down on either side of him. One was a black boy with dark, curly hair and deep brown eyes. The other was a Korean girl with short black hair and brown eyes.

"You've seen these two in my videos before. Blaise Zabini, home renovator and vlogger, Pansy Parkinson, hairstylist and beauty influencer. You should subscribe to both of their channels, they're awesome."

Both of them smiled at the camera. Draco did not.

"I have been receiving racist comments about my friends and me doing their makeup, and to that, I say fuck you. Real makeup artists should be able to do makeup on all skin tones, not just white people. Your opinions are what makes people feel uncomfortable making YouTube videos or really being themselves."

"To be clear, we personally couldn't give less of a shit," Pansy said, grinning brightly. "We've been on YouTube too long to let stupid comments upset us personally."

"Don't take that the wrong way through, you should definitely never say things like that," Blaise added. "It's incredibly disrespectful and racist and oppressive."

Harry paused the video before looking up at the camera.

"I think I'm in love."

i'm too gay for this shit
harry potter
4,922,002 subscribers
18:22  minutes
6,744,213 views

"Welcome back, you guys!" Harry cheers as he sits down. "As we know, I have made a lot of videos recently centering around the content of Draco Black, the beauty influencer."

"They know who I am!" a voice rang from off-camera.

"Don't be conceited!" Harry replied loudly, before turning back. "Anyways, I finally reached out to him and asked if he'd like to collaborate with me on a video and he said yes and I'm trying my absolute hardest to not have a gay meltdown."

"Shut the fuck up," the voice laughed, before Draco sat down next to Harry. "Good morning angels."

"This is my channel, my intro," Harry argued. 

"Weren't you supposed to be having a gay meltdown?" Draco fired back. Harry laughed easily.

"Today we're doing a... what did you call it?" Harry paused, turning to the blonde.

"An autumn glam look. We'll be using lots of oranges and golds and reds to make his eyes pop. Do you have any primer?"

"Do I need primer?"

Draco stopped and stared at Harry for a long moment.

"Do you..." He closed his eyes for another moment before slowly continuing. "Do you... need primer?"

"I'll take that as a yes?"

"Potter, I'm going to stab you."

What It's Like To Date A Complete Dumbass
Draco Black
7,888,549 subscribers
14:11 minutes
16,113,997 views

"Good morning angels. So a lot of rumors have been going around that I'm dating Harry Potter. While we haven't put a real label on it yet, we are, in fact, together. This is something we've been keeping to ourselves for a while, just because we wanted to be able to have that bubble of privacy for a while. But now, finally, I am ready to tell you all our story."

yuh
harry potter
5,112,003 subscribers
0:09 minutes
12,744,213 views

Harry spun around in his chair in a way reminiscent to his coming out video.

"We're dating, fuckers."

My Boyfriend Cheated On Me
Draco Black
7,945,588 subscribers
9:33 minutes
15,123,332 views

"Good morning angels. This has been a pretty rough week for me. As some of you may have seen, Harry did something completely inexcusable-"

"I'M SORRY! PANSY HAS GOOD EYELINER! ALL OF THE OTHER PRODUCTS WERE YOURS!"

"YOU GET MY PRODUCTS FOR FREE! YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH PANSY'S MAKEUP!"

"I WAS SUPPORTING YOUR FRIEND FINANCIALLY!"

my boyfriend stole my dog (not clickbait) (emotional)
harry potter
5,341,345 subscribers
3:45 minutes
9,544,121 views

"Look at that fucker." Harry zoomed in the camera against the window to show Draco walking his dog. "It was my turn to walk Padfoot. Let's go scare him."

Being Attacked For Views
Draco Black
8,000,566 subscribers
27:49 minutes
13,112,858 views

"Ginevra, sit fucking still."

"You come near me with that eyeliner and I'll kick you to death. Luna will testify for me-"

"No I won't."

"-Luna will testify for me and I'll get out of prison scot-free. Keep that devil shit away from me."

"It's black liner. It won't kill you. I need to make your lashes look seamless."

"What does that even mean? I'll kick you. I'll kick you, get back-"

eating sour patch kids until i throw up
harry potter
5,655,394 subscribers
0:08 minutes
11,161,143 views

"Harry you are not doing that to yourself."

"But-"

"Find more creative ways to get out of dinner with my parents."

Adopting A Child
Draco Potter
9,045,002 subscribers
22:19 minutes
15,435,822 views

"Good morning angels. Today we're adopting a child."

"Stop telling people that!"

"I will treat him like my child!"

"It could be a her!"

"I want a boy!"

"Picky bitch."

"I will divorce you, Potter."

"Not you won't. Potter."

"I hate you."

"Just pick a fucking dog before I leave you."