alright you know what?

this chapter originally had a funny little intro, you know how i do, i add some funny little quip to the beginning to interact with you guys because i like to communicate with you all

but now im angry and upset and i try so fucking hard to stay positive on this app and people just let me down over and over again

im physically shaking i don't know if its the anxiety the anger or a combination of the both of them but im crying and typing this through blurry vision

it's hard enough to deal with having people steal my work on Wattpad without credit. it's hard enough to manage one website of people stealing my content

but now people are going on other websites like Quotev and posting my works as their own?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP TRACK OF EVERY WRITING APP THERE IS TO MAKE SURE NO ONE STEALS MY WORK

im so sorry i don't mean to yell but god damn it i try so fucking hard i put so much effort into my books into every little story i share, behind every story, every oneshot, every book is my heart and goddamn soul because writing is my fucking passion and to see someone be able to so easily take it from me breaks me every fucking time

and I'll never be able to stop them there will always be another person waiting to take my content, and i won't be able to stop them all. i do what i can and my beautiful readers help, but god fucking damn it we can't find all of them and i know there are some out there that I'll never find and they'll just fucking get away with it god fucking damn it

im fucking nice about it too! i message people, i ask them to take it down first. i keep their usernames and stories private so people don't send hate. im as fucking nice as i can be when people are so fucking rude to me and still, still, still every fucking time, my kindness is ripped away from me and thrown in my face and then i have to report them and then i get yelled at for reporting them GOD DAMN IT STOP STEALING MY FUCKING PASSION FROM ME ITS ALL I HAVE

im so sorry i yelled at you guys im sorry ill probably delete this rant part of the story and i was going to publish it later but im publishing it now because right now im angry and i know when i calm down ill delete this and i don't want to because right now im petty and angry and god damn it i have a right to be

yes there is still a story i don't like posting purely rant chapters like i used to i think if you have to read my stupid yelling you deserve some drarry that i wrote earlier today too 

i'd like to extend a thank you to Honey_Chan__ for posting on my message board about someone stealing my story, and i'd also like to thank everyone else who tells me about these people. As much as it upsets me, i do need to know and im incredibly grateful for all of you

again im sorry for yelling

im just so tired

for the purposes of plot, ginny and luna are the same age as harry, and ginny, hermione, luna, draco, and pansy all have their birthdays before harry's

Harry made a terrible, terrible decision.

No one is surprised, since that's all he seems to be able to do anyways, but god damnit, he really screwed himself over this time.

Who knew fourteen words would turn his life so wildly upside down?

The first time had been at the bar. Harry had been drunk. Hermione had been drunk.

They were both dumbasses when they were drunk.

"Hermione," Harry slurred, gripping Hermione's shoulders with both hands to stop her from moving. Everything was moving. Harry felt dizzy. "I love you."

"I love you too!" she singsonged, eyes glazed over. "But like... like friends."

"Like friends," Harry agreed. "But, like, I would definitely marry you. I could definitely spend the rest of my life with you. You're cool."

Hermione slammed her cup down, looking at Harry with wide eyes. "Right? I would marry the fuck out of you! We could be, like, a total power couple."

"But like, without sex. I don't want to have sex with you." Harry gestured at the bartender, who looked a bit concerned, but brought them two more shots.

"God no. I've only ever had sex with Ron. I don't wanna have sex with you."

Harry choked on his shot and started coughing. "Fuck, Hermione, I know that, but I didn't want to, you know, know that!"

Hermione was giggling loudly. "I don't even know if he's the one for me," she sighed. before downing her shot.

Harry shrugged. "How 'bout this? If we're both not married by the time we're thirty, we'll marry each other."

"That," Hermione said, pointing a finger slightly to Harry's left. "Is a bloody brilliant idea."

It really wasn't.

They shook on it anyways.

*

The second time was an agreement with Ginny when they broke up.

"You owe me for years of trauma, Potter," she sighed dramatically, grinning. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Fine. If you haven't finally married Luna- don't look at me like that, I know you're in love with her- and I haven't gotten married either by the time we're thirty, we'll marry each other."

"Deal, dumbass." Ginny stuck out her hand with a playful grin.

Harry shook it.

*

The third time he was drunk again.

Pansy Parkinson was far drunker.

"No one will ever love me," she slurred, hitting her head against the bar. "I'm gonna be alone forever."

"Don't be dumb," Harry replied. "I'm sure you'll find love."

"Shut up," Pansy responded, not moving from her spot.

"If it helps, if we're both not married by the time we're thirty, I'll marry you."

"Lovely. A pity marriage." Pansy stuck her hand out, not lifting her head. Harry shook it.

Pansy's head had a red mark on it from the bar.

*

The fourth time was an easy proposition.

"Harry, we should have one of those marriage deals," Luna suggested, fixing one of the leaves on Harry's plants. "This plant has bad vibes, you should purify it."

"I'll be sure to do that." Harry lowered his magazine. "You want to get married?"

Luna shrugged. "I think it would be quite lovely, being married to you. You're a very generous person, I think you'd be a good lover."

Harry just raised his eyebrows. "Alright. If we're both not married by thirty, how about we get married then?" 

It was the first time he had genuinely considered one of his propositions. It wouldn't be awful. Luna was quite nice.

Luna smiled brightly and stuck out her hand. 

Harry shook it.

Luna left to purify his plant.

*

The final time was by far the strangest.

Harry and Draco had just gotten back from an Auror mission. Draco had been acting strange the entire time; much more sarcastic and biting and short-tempered than the man he had grown into in his time as an Auror.

"Want to get a drink?" Harry asked.

"Do you solve all of your problems with alcohol, Potter?" Draco snapped back.

Harry grabbed his wrist before he could leave. "Hey. You haven't called me Potter in two years. What's going on?"

Draco glared at him for all of two seconds before his shoulders slumped and he sighed. "I'm sorry. I was trying to hide it and it built up too much and made me snappy."

"What did?"

Draco lifted the arm that Harry was still holding and turned it so Harry could see the back of his hand.

It took Harry a moment to realize that something was missing, and then he realized the telltale gleam of the ring Draco spent so much time smiling at and showing people was gone.

"Blaise called off the engagement?" he whispered, shocked.

Draco nodded miserably and pulled his hand out of Harry's grasp. "Said he felt trapped, that he didn't have enough time to find himself before settling down so fast. He apologized, I'm not mad."

"Just upset," Harry finished, and Draco looked at him and nodded sadly. "C'mon, you probably really do need that drink."

"I don't want to go to a bar right now, Harry. Too many people." Draco looked utterly lost, and Harry grabbed his hand.

"We're not going to a bar. We're going to my flat."

And, for the third time, Harry was drunk when he made the deal.

"Look," he said slowly. Draco had a gleam in his eyes that only came out when he drank, and he was smiling so much that Harry was almost certain that, as of right now, Draco had completely forgotten that Blaise existed. "If we're both not married by thirty, we should marry each other."

Draco giggled. "You don't even like men."

"Says who?" Harry pouted. "I'll have you know I have a crisis over anyone within a reasonable age range that moves."

Draco laughed louder. "Are you coming out to me, Potter?"

"Stop calling me that." Harry threw his head back against the couch. "I suppose I am, although it's not really a secret."

"Deal, then." Draco stuck out his hand and Harry had to really focus on it for a moment before he shook it.

Draco laughed and pulled Harry forward by his hand and kissed him.

Harry was struck with the overwhelming desire to kiss him back, but he pushed the blonde away instead. "Don't, Draco. You're drunk and heartbroken, and I'm not going to be your rebound."

Draco's smile had dropped and he had left Harry's apartment.

Neither of them mentioned it again. 

Harry was pretty sure Draco didn't remember it.

*

It was seven years since he had made five stupid deals with people, and, quite honestly, Harry had forgotten about them entirely.

That is, of course, until the day it had come back to bite him in the ass.

That day happened to be Draco Malfoy's thirtieth birthday.

"Happy birthday, Draco!" Harry called across the office, and grinned at the immediate glare Draco shot him before about twenty other people rushed over with gasps of "It's your birthday?" "Happy birthday!" and "How old are you now?"

Draco scowled. "You'll pay for that one!" he shouted back.

Harry just laughed loudly in response and went into his office.

He sat at his desk and tugged his gloves on before he lifted the first object and started casting spells to detect any traces of Dark Magic. After about five minutes of it, his office door swung open and Draco shut it behind him, leaning against the solid steel of the door with his arms crossed and an unimpressed look on his face.

He managed that expression for about four seconds before it slid away to reveal a grin. "You're the fucking worst, Harry."

"I try." Harry matched his grin, before jumping slightly with realization. "Oh! I'd almost forgotten, I got you a present!"

Draco's eyes lit up the way they always did when he heard the word present, and Harry could see him physically trying not to jump around where he was standing. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did, or you would have pouted all day," Harry responded, laughing. He tugged his gloves off and opened his desk drawer, pulling out a small package and handing it to the blonde. "Here you go."

Draco snatched it quickly, hugging it to his chest before flushing and visibly trying to calm himself. "I suppose thanks are in order."

Harry grinned. "You should probably open it before thanking me, in case you hate it."

"As if I could hate anything you got me," Draco muttered, carefully opening the package. "Harry. Harry, you didn't. How fucking expensive was this?"

Harry bit his lip, trying to hide his grin. "Unimportant."

"Harry, these have been going for thousands. The Quidditch World Cup this year is supposed to be legendary. Two? You got me two tickets?!"

Harry shrugged absently, still trying to bite back his smile. "So you can bring whoever you'd like. Pansy, perhaps?"

"Oh, you're a dumb fucking bitch if you think I'm not bringing you!" Draco exclaimed. "Holy fuck. Fuck. Thank you, Harry, I couldn't have afforded these after my vaults were frozen, thank you, fuck."

Harry had barely heard anything after Draco's first sentence. "You want to bring me?"

"Don't be fucking stupid, Harry, you're like, one of my two best friends in the world. Of course I'll bring you! Unless you don't want to come." Draco immediately chewed the inside of his cheek like he always did when he was starting to emotionally withdraw. Harry cut him off before he could.

"Of course I'd love to come with you! But I thought Pansy was your best friend?"

"I said I have two, Harry," Draco teased, his smile coming back. "Pansy happens to loathe Quidditch."

Harry desperately tried not to let it sting that Draco would have brought Pansy instead of Harry if Pansy liked Quidditch. "Well then, I guess I'll see you there." Stop blushing, you stupid fucking wanker.

Draco's smile was brighter than the sun, but it dimmed a bit when he looked down at Harry's hand. "Have you always had that ring?"

Harry looked down at the silver band encircling his right middle finger with the letter B engraved in the very center. He'd never understood the strange tiny purple gems on either side of the B (and he was surprised they weren't green), but it was important to him nonetheless, so he had worn it forever. "Yeah. It was Sirius' before he died. I've worn it since about a year after we graduated. A sort of memorial to him, you know?"

Draco frowned, setting the tickets on the desk and lifting Harry's right hand to study the ring. "I must not have noticed it before because you're always wearing your stupid gloves."

"Guess not. I always wear it, I figured you just noticed and didn't point it out."

"Harry, listen to me very carefully. This is a promise ring."

Harry coughed out a laugh. "Well I haven't promised myself to anyone, but that's not gonna stop me from wearing it."

"No." Draco sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair before taking Harry's hand again. "Harry, do you see these little purple gems on either side? All magical promise rings have them."

"So?"

"So, when I say it's a promise ring, I don't mean a dumb piece of silver your first boyfriend gives to you to pretend he likes you so you'll fuck him. I mean it's a literal promise ring. Every promise or deal you make sealed with a handshake with this hand is magically binding."

"Ah," Harry replied eloquently. "Shit. I guess I should take it off, then."

"Have you made any promises that you've sealed with a handshake?"

Harry thought about it. "Not that I can think of, so I guess any that I did I followed through with. No harm done."

"I can think of at least one." Draco's eyes were horrified.

"Yeah? What is it, I'll do it real quick."

"Do you remember when we were like, twenty-three, and Blaise had just left me and we got super drunk? And you told me if we both weren't married by thirty-"

"-we would marry each other," Harry finished, eyes widening. "I had forgotten about that."

Draco bit his lip and looked down sadly. "I hadn't."

"Wait. I thought you didn't remember that!" Harry shouted accusingly. "You never talked about it again!"

"Because it was bloody embarrassing!" Draco shouted back.

"Lord," Harry replied, rolling his eyes. "Drama queen. You kissed me once, it's not like the world shattered. We've both kissed loads of people."

Draco reeled back as if struck, but quickly composed himself. "Have you made any other promises that you can remember to other people?"

Harry's eyes grew wide and horrified quite quickly. "Yeah. I made the same promise to four other people."

"What?!"

"I was joking! It's a thing people say!"

"Not when they have a magically binding ring! Now six people's lives are hanging on the line because a Curse-Breaker didn't think to test his own goddamn ring for curses!"

"Lives?" Harry whispered hoarsely. "Draco, how binding is this ring?" He slowly slid it off his hand with shaking hands. 

"Take a fucking guess." Draco glared at him.

"Oh, God," Harry sighed, throwing his head back against his seat. "Alright. Okay. So, logically, I have until July thirty-first to complete the deal. Hermione's birthday was in February, Ginny's was January, Luna's is next week, Pansy's was in April, yours is today. So I need to make sure each of you, and me, get married before July thirty-first. Lord."

"Pansy?" Draco choked out. "Merlin, Potter, you had to kill my other best friend too?"

"You're not going to die," Harry bit back. "Okay. Marriage. I can do this."

"It's worse than just marriage," Draco replied quietly.

"What on earth is it now?"

"Well, when deals are made, they can only be completed by those involved in the same deal-making magic. Therefore, only those who you've made deals with while wearing that ring will be able to... well, in this case, marry each other."

"Oh, fuck.  God damn it. Fuck." Harry sighed heavily and sat up. "Okay. Fuck. Alright. I'll find someone each of you like and make a deal with them, and then you can all-"

"Harry, you're not putting more people under this curse, you asshole. You've already fucked off enough people's lives."

"Fine!" Harry slammed his head into his desk. "Fuck."

There was a long pause before Draco spoke.

"Look on the bright side. We're all gay. Makes partnering easier. Ginny and Luna; they've been dancing around each other forever. Hermione and Pansy would be scarily good together. You and me- well, we're the only guys."

"You're gonna marry me," Harry replied flatly, not lifting his head.

"Look. You're not the worst person in the world. I'd rather marry you than die a slow painful death via curse."

Harry let out a long sigh. "Lovely. Let's matchmake."

*

"You two-" Harry said, pointing at Luna and Ginny on his couch. "-need to figure your shit out. I've been dealing with it for nine fucking years. I'm leaving to deal with something, and when I come back, you two better be making out on my couch or so help me God, I'll curse you both."

With that, he marched out of his apartment and Apparated to Hermione's.

Hermione and Pansy would be harder. They rarely spoke to each other, other than a couple of apologies from Pansy and some half-hearted acceptances from Hermione.

"Come to dinner with me tonight," he said in a rush. 

"Sorry?" Hermione looked up from her computer. 

"Come to dinner with me tonight. There's something I need to tell you."

She frowned. "You're not secretly in love with me, are you? I know we made that stupid drunk marriage pact all those years ago, but I'm not holding you to it." She laughed softly.

"No, I'm not secretly in love with you," Harry replied, grinning. "Pansy might be though."

Hermione's head snapped up, eyes alight. "Pansy?"

Maybe easier than I thought? "Please. You two make eye contact and I'm surprised you don't fuck on the table right in front of me."

Hermione blushed. "Am I that obvious? I thought I was hiding my attraction to her rather well."

She had, because Harry really hadn't known until now that Hermione had any feelings toward the black-haired girl. "I can read you like a book, Mione."

She blushed deeper. "Oh. Do I get to know what the dinner is about?"

"Nope! Dress nice."

She flushed, and Harry Apparated to Pansy's to give her the same pitch.

When he got home, Ginny and Luna were making out on his couch.

*

Draco was smirking far too much, Harry decided, and it made him want to rip the silver band right off of the boy's left hand.

Unfortunately, Harry wasn't given the time to give into that urge, because Pansy chose that moment to sit down in a tight black dress that was cut so low that Harry was suddenly struck with the possibility that Hermione might propose to Pansy right here.

"Good evening, dumbass number one, dumbass number two," she said calmly, smiling sweetly. "I've never once known you two to sit across from each other. What changed? Are you ganging up on me for something?"

Harry snorted. Draco only smirked more. "If I wanted to convince you to do something, Pans, I would have brought Theo, and I wouldn't have taken you to a nice restaurant."

"I resent that," Harry replied, giving Draco a look. "I think you'll find I can be very persuasive."

Draco blushed and Pansy opened her mouth, and Hermione suddenly sat down across from the other girl wearing a short, flowy lavender dress and a deep blush when she saw Pansy.

"Er, hello Pansy."

"Hi, Hermione," Pansy breathed, discreetly (or so she thought) checking Hermione out.

"Hi, Draco, Harry. Can I know what's going on now?" Hermione added, although her eyes kept darting back to Pansy's chest.

"You're gonna have to wait until Ginny and Luna get here," Harry replied, giving her an apologetic look.

"Oh, I have a feeling that won't be long," Luna's light voice said before she dropped down next to Hermione. Ginny sat next to Pansy with a slight smirk and a badly glamoured mark on her neck.

for those of you who are confused about their seating arrangements:
Draco      Pansy    Ginny
------------table------------
Harry   Hermione  Luna

"Lovely." Hermione's gaze swiveled back to Harry. "What's going on?"

Harry met Draco's eyes before both of them held out their left hands to show the silver and gold bands.

Pansy promptly choked on her drink and Hermione made a small screech before quickly clapping her hand over her mouth and glancing round to make sure no one had noticed. Luna tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, and Ginny's mouth opened and closed about six times.

"You're engaged?" Pansy hissed after she had control of her breathing again. "When were you even dating?"

Harry shrugged and grinned. "We weren't."

"Pardon?" Hermione raised her eyebrows in a Harry-What-The-Fuck-Are-You-Doing kind of way.

Draco sighed. "Stop beating around the bush, dumbass. Harry's a fucking idiot and made a deal with each of us to get married before thirty, remember?" At the vaguely confused nods around the table, he continued. "Well, my darling fiancé here is a fucking dumbass and made the deals while wearing a magically binding promise ring, and therefore we all need to be married to someone at this table before Harry's thirtieth birthday."

Ginny closed her eyes for a long moment before opening them slowly. "Harry, I'm going to strangle you."

"That's why you were telling me those things about Pansy," Hermione breathed.

"Things? What things?" Pansy's cheeks were red. "Ignore the things he told you. There are no things."

Hermione studied Pansy for a long moment before her lips twitched into a slight grin as she turned back to Harry. "I want to hit you, but you could have done worse for me. She's hot and I'm gay."

Pansy had reverted to small sputtering noises of lesbian shock, so Luna decided to take over for talking.

"Ginny, what kind of ring would you like?"

Ginny made a small noise. "HolyfuckImgettingmarried," she whispered. 

"Not yet. I haven't proposed. Despite our time frame, I do plan on making this real, you know?" Luna was smiling. Ginny was blushing. Pansy was still in gay shock.

"I will 100% pay for all of your weddings, too, for the whole pain of having to do this," Harry added. "I really am sorry, I didn't know."

Hermione glared. "I want an arch made of pure diamond. I want the most expensive roses everywhere. I'm getting the most expensive dress I can find."

"I deserve that," Harry replied, but both friends were grinning.

"You think I'm hot?" Pansy finally stuttered out.

Hermione's cool eyes turned to the Slytherin girl. "Obviously."

Pansy went back into lesbian overload for a moment before she finally spoke again. "Potter, Draco, is that all we need to know?"

"Uh... yeah, why?"

"Hermione, come back to mine?"

Hermione stood on the booth and hopped over the back of it, holding out her hand. Pansy did something similar, and Hermione Apparated them away.

"That was easier than I thought it was going to be," Harry said, stunned.

"I'm gonna have a wife," Ginny said softly, still looking quite stunned.

"Harry, why is it that we don't have to marry you?" Luna asked curiously.

"Our deal was that if we both weren't married by the time we were both thirty, we would marry each other. If you get married before I turn thirty, the deal is void."

"Ah." Luna nodded. "Ginny, when you're done reveling in your future marriage, would you like to have sex at my house?"

Ginny made some small sound of agreement, and the pair Apparated away.

Harry blinked. "Um. We were supposed to have dinner."

"Sucks." Draco grinned and scooted to the middle of his booth. "Alright, fiancé. Woo me with your wine choices."

*

Pansy and Hermione were married.

Despite Hermione's threats of having her wedding be the most expensive one in the world, it had really been a small friends-and-family gathering at the Granger's house. It was quite sweet, even if Hermione's parents were stunned by the sudden news.

Harry was now standing by the food table, smiling as one of his best friends hugged her parents and talked to the people around her.

"So far, I've only found one problem with Hermione, and other than that, I think she's damn near perfect," Pansy sighed from beside him.

"What's the problem?"

"She hates Quidditch. I'll have to go to games by myself."

"Take Draco. Or Ginny, she loves Quidditch. Then Harry frowned. "I thought you loathed Quidditch?"

She frowned. "I've been a Harpies fan since I could pronounce the word. Why would you think I hate Quidditch?"

"Draco said you did. I bought him two tickets to the World Cup and he said he was going to bring me because you hate Quidditch."

She blinked. Once. Twice. A slow, strained grin crept across her face. "You're telling me Draco has the option to take me to the most famous Quidditch World Cup in fucking history, and instead he's taking you, someone who could very easily pay to buy himself another ticket?"

"I can buy you a ticket, Pansy, and-"

"Excuse me," she said, a dangerous smile on her face, and she darted away.

Harry frowned. Strange.

He shook it off then and went to hug Hermione.

*

Draco came into Harry's office the next day with a bright red mark on his neck.

Harry raised one eyebrow and crushed the stirring jealousy in his stomach. "You know we're supposed to be maintaining the appearance of happily engaged couple, right?"

Draco frowned. "What?"

"Your neck," Harry bit out, rolling his eyes.

"Oh." Draco gave him a slightly strained smile and brushed a hand over the mark. "Pansy hit me with a Stinging Hex."

"After she talked to you about the Quidditch World Cup, I presume?" Harry said, turning his eyes back to the bracelet in front of him. He cast another spell. The bracelet glowed green and Harry started to perform the countercurse to the jinx that had been placed upon it.

"Yeah. How did that even come up, anyway?"

"Well, she was talking about how upset she was that Hermione doesn't like Quidditch, and I mentioned that that was funny, because you had told me she loathes Quidditch. And she said that was strange, because she, in fact-" Harry set down his wand and looked Draco in the eye. "-loves Quidditch."

Draco bit his lip. "Ah."

"Care to explain?"

Draco shrugged, looking down at his shoes. "I wanted to bring you."

"You could have just said that. Why did you lie to me?"

"Because I was afraid if I told you I wanted to bring you instead of her, you would think it was weird," Draco mumbled.

"Why in the fuck would I think that's weird?"

"Because I kissed you!" Draco cried. "And I bring you coffee every day, and my stupid face turns red whenever you so much as look at me, and when I tried to ask you on a date you turned me down, so I was afraid if I made going to the World Cup with you seem like a date you would say no because you're obviously not into me and trying to shut me down!"

Harry blinked and took a moment to process all of that before he spoke.

"Alright," he said slowly. "Let's unpack."

Draco scowled and dropped into the chair across from Harry's desk, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine. Whatever."

"You kissed me when you were shitfaced and heartbroken over Blaise breaking off the engagement. I told you I wouldn't be your rebound."

"I don't know what rebound means," Draco replied aggressively. "Love interest? Boyfriend? I know enough to know you were telling me you didn't want me."

"Draco, a rebound is someone you jump to after a break up to make yourself feel better. I didn't want to be someone you had sex with or something just because you were sad about your break up."

"Oh," Draco said in a very small voice. 

"You also said you bring me coffee every day. Draco, you're my assistant. Almost everyone's assistants bring them coffee in the morning."

"I didn't know that. I thought you thought I was being nice."

"I did think you were being nice, but I also thought you just considered it a part of your job, even though it's not mandatory."

"Well, I didn't."

"Misunderstanding on my part. You said your face turns red whenever I look at you. Draco, your cheeks turn red when you stand too close to the coffee machine and you get too warm. You turn red when Ron calls you Ferret. You turn red when you drop pencils. Your cheeks get red when you drink. Basically everything makes you blush, your skin is so fucking white that it shows up even when it's barely there."

Draco scowled. Sure enough, his cheeks turned red.

"And you never asked me on a date."

"Yes I did! I asked you if you wanted to get dinner with me!"

Harry blinked, stunned. "You're talking about that?"

"Yeah!"

"Draco, you marched up to me and asked me if I was hungry and wanted to grab something to eat after work, and when I told you it was Dean's birthday and I was going there and invited you to the party with me, you got all huffy and left!"

"How was I supposed to know you weren't making up an excuse to get out of it?"

"Because I would have just told you if I didn't want to go!"

Draco blinked and stared at him for a long moment.

"So... theoretically, if I was to ask you on a date right now, what would you, theoretically, say?"

"Draco, we're engaged," Harry laughed. "Don't you think if I wasn't interested in you, I would have just suggested marrying you until I'm thirty and then divorcing you?"

Draco's mouth opened and closed several times. "So, what you're saying is..."

"What I'm saying is, I'm gonna buy Pansy a ticket to the World Cup, and then I'm probably gonna buy Ginny one so she has company and doesn't bug us on our date."

"Date?" Draco appeared to be short-circuiting.

"Lord, Draco. I'm gonna kiss you now. That okay with you?"

"Yes?" Draco looked like a bit like Pansy when Hermione had called her hot.

Harry kissed him.

They were married a month later.