||Dedicated to Fluffy_Galaxy_Banana ||

Draco didn't want this. He didn't want to hurt this much but he couldn't help it. These were his choices, no one else's. He wiped away the tears before leaving the room. He put on his jumper and his shoes and then he left.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. What had his life come to?

Hope the wound heals but it never does

Memories flooded his mind. All were bad, and he blamed himself for what happened. The scars he has all over his upper body are his fault, it was his fault Harry threw the Sectumsempra spell at him. The scars on his wrist were his fault, obviously, he drove himself to that point. He's the reasons Harry left him.

That's cause you're at war with love
You're at war with love, yeah

Love is painful. War is painful. Both put together is a painful mess that's placed over someone. Loving someone is painful, it's torture buts that's what's good about it right? Draco loved Harry, it was torture but that's love. There's no other way to describe it.

"These battle scars don't look like they're fading.
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle..."

Draco stopped himself from singing. Muggle music was something he learned to live thanks to Harry. Memories of them singing to songs by the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears haunted his mind.

Yet he got through the pain all the time so this wasn't any different.

"Never let a wound ruin me
But I feel like ruin's wooing me
Arrow holes, they never close from Cupid on a shooting spree
Feeling stupid cause I know it ain't no you and me
But when you're trying to beat the odds up"

That's a lie, he led these wounds ruin him. He stopped being himself to please others. Yes who he really is isn't so great but that's who he was, he never really let anything ruin him but look where he is now.

"Been trying to keep your nods up
And you know that you should know
And let him go
But the fear of the unknown
Hold another lover strong
Sends you back into the zone
With no Tom Hanks to bring you home"

Draco didn't quite know what that part meant but who cares, no one really knows what anything means. Life, no one really knows it's meaning. We all fear the inevitable but seem to be fine with the unknown future. That's how it is for Draco. He feared what he know was meant to happen and yet believed the future held better things for Harry and him.

"A lover not a fighter
On the front line with a poem
Trying to write yourself a rifle
Maybe sharpen up a stone
To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone"

Harry was a lover and a fighter. He wanted both from Harry and that's what he received. Yet it wasn't what he expected. The type of fighter Harry was wasn't the one Draco wanted. It never was.

" I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched
I wish that I could stop loving you so much
Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget him"

Does Draco regret being with Harry? Sort of. Draco feel for Harry in the love at first sight shit and when they touched he felt sparks. That's how he fell in love. But now, even if the sparks are still there he sorta regrets his choices. He does everything he can to make Harry stay, and it works but now he's slipping away. The signs for Draco to leave Harry are there but he chooses to ignore them. Should he continue?

"I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it'll never be over until you tell me it's over"

With every hit and every bruise, Harry reminds Draco that he's the best he'll ever get. This wasn't Harry but he didn't care he loved Harry. He took ever punch and kick just to keep Harry with him.

"These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle scars don't look like they're fading
Don't look like they're ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle..."

By now Draco isn't talking about the past. He's talking about the present. He's talking about his mental and physical scars. Everyday with Harry is a battle he ends up loosing. These battle scars aren't ever going away.

"Then just leave then"

It isn't easy, just leaving isn't easy and it never will be. He wants to but he's chained. He loves Harry and so it isn't easy to just leave.

"You shouldn't have but you said it
And I hope you never come back"

He didn't have anywhere to go if he left Harry. His parents never want him to come back to the manor after he came out to them. His friends turned him away after the war. He had Harry, just Harry and no one else.

||yeah I know there's  not really a lot of drarry but it's just Draco walking and singing and thinking about this toxic relationship he's in with harry||