tw/ mentions of rape. Also a gratuitous amount of kissing. So much kissing. And it almost gets nsfw. Almost.

-

"His eyes... I can't tell if they're as cold as ice or warm as a summer sky... They're contradictory, just like him."

"Harry... Harry!"

Harry blinked a couple of times before looking at Hermione, who was waving her hand in front of his face from the other side of the dinner table, "You were lost in your head for a bit there. Are you alright?"

Harry nodded, looking down, "Just thinking..."

"Thinking about what? You were staring off at the Slytherin table," Hermione sighed, "Is it Malfoy again? Has he done something to you?"

Harry shook his head, "No, it's not him." That was a lie. Malfoy had done something to him.

"What do you want now, Malfoy?" Harry tried to get past Draco in the narrow corridor, he had been hiding from Ron. They were in a fight. And, of course, he ran into Draco bloody Malfoy while making his way back.

Draco ignored his question, "What are you doing in this part of the castle. No one comes here, not even the teachers."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Like that's any of your business. Now let me past."

Draco just stepped closer to him, "Or what?"

"Or what?" Harry asked, confused.

"What will you do if I don't let you past?"

Harry really hadn't thought that far ahead. Draco usually just stuck around to throw an insult and watch Harry's reaction, then he would be on his merry way. But this was different. So Harry just tried to push past him, force his way.

But Draco was stronger than him, easily pushing back before pinning Harry against the stone wall.

Harry gasped a bit, his eyes widening. Harry never realized how easy it would be for Draco to overpower him if he wanted to. Draco had never done anything like this.

"Really, Potter? That's the best you've got? A light shove. I thought better of you."

"Let me go, Malfoy." That was all Harry could think to say.

Draco smirked at him, "You know, there's something I've always wanted to do..."

"That's lovely, now let me go." Harry tried to push his way out again but Draco grabbed Harry's wrists and held them against the wall.

"Harry, Harry, Harry..." Draco sighed.

Harry's eyes were still wide. A little bit from fear of what Draco was planning to do, a little bit from surprise to hear Draco call him by his first name, "If you're going to hurt me then go on and do it."

Draco shook his head, "I don't want to hurt you," he leaned his face close to Harry's, they could feel each other's breaths, "But there is something I want to do."

"Go on and do it then!" Harry just wanted this to be over.

"Well, if you insist." And with that Draco closed the gap between them, kissing Harry.

Harry was so taken off guard he didn't even fight back, he just stood there with wide eyes. But after a moment he found himself relaxing into the kiss, his arms going limp in Draco's firm grip.

Draco pulled away, smiling down at him, "Now then, that wasn't so bad."

Harry didn't know what to say. He was confused by the whole situation. He was confused because Draco had kissed him. He was confused because he liked it. He was confused because he wanted Draco to do it again.

Draco tilted his head, "What's wrong, Potter? Cat got your tongue?"'

"I-I," Harry stammered, "Why?"

Draco chuckled, "I told you, it's something I've always wanted to do. And if I had known you wouldn't put up any sort of fight I would've done it much sooner." He let Harry's wrists go.

Harry didn't try to get away this time. He was lost for words. He just stood there, looking into Draco's eyes.

Draco leaned in close again, but this time he whispered in Harry's ear, "We can do it again if you'd like.."

Harry felt chills go up his spine.

Draco pulled away and backed up, "Another time. Take care, Potter." he walked away.

Harry just stood there, trying to wrap his brain around what had just happened.

That had been a week ago, Harry still couldn't get it out of his head. Especially because every time he saw Draco, he would smile. Not smirk or sneer. A genuine smile, with a softness in his eyes. Every time they got close, Draco would discreetly touch him. Running his fingers up Harry's arm while walking past his desk in class, putting his hand on the small of Harry's back before pushing ahead of him in the halls, once even touching his ass as they walked out of Snape's classroom. That one caused Harry to jump a bit, scaring Ron. They had gotten over their fight and made up by then. Harry had told Ron that Draco had pinched him, he couldn't think of any better explanation for jumping like that. Draco was also sending him notes. Harry didn't know how. They would just appear in his bag. Typically poems by some of Draco's favorite poets, they could be interpreted as love poems if read with that mindset.

Harry didn't know what to do with all this. He just knew one thing.

He liked it.

And that scared him. He liked Draco Malfoy kissing him. He liked Draco Malfoy lightly touching his back in the halls. He liked Draco Malfoy sending him love notes. He liked Draco Malfoy.

He couldn't stop thinking about him. About what this all meant. Wondering how long Draco had liked him. Wondering if maybe he liked him back all along but didn't know it yet. Wondering when Draco first realized he was into blokes. Wondering if he was Draco's sexual awakening (Harry's had been Cedric Diggory, making his death even more painful).

Hermione and Ron were starting to take notice.

"Harry," Ron said, "We're starting to worry about you."

Hermione nodded, "You're always lost in thought, never in the moment. It's just not like you. If something is bothering you, you can tell us. We won't judge, no matter what it is."

Harry bit his lip and looked down, "It's complicated... Well, it isn't. It's just confusing..."

Hermione reached across the table to hold his hand, "Harry, you can tell us. We'll help you make sense of it."

"No, you'll just think I've gone mad. I'm pretty sure I have gone mad."

Ron frowned, "It can't be that bad."

Harry looked up at the pair of them before looking down again, "Malfoy kissed me..." he mumbled.

Hermione's eyes widened, "Wait, what?!"

Ron chuckled a bit, "Surely you're joking."

Harry shook his head, "He cornered me in the corridor and pinned me against the wall. He's much stronger than me, he's just never asserted that strength before. He kept saying there was something he had always wanted to do. I told him to go on and do it. He was creeping me out. I just wanted to get it over with so I could get out of there. I thought he was going to hurt me, but he didn't. He just held my wrists against the wall and kissed me."

Ron looked infuriated, "That bastard forced himself on you?"

Hermione put her hand on Ron's shoulder, a gentle way of telling him to calm down, "When did this happen?"

"Last week. And things have been weird ever since then."

"He hasn't touched you again, has he?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded, "Yes, but not like before. It's gentle touches when no one is looking. And he sends me love poems."

"Love poems?" Hermione looked confused, "Draco Malfoy is sending you love poems?"

Harry nodded, "I told you, it's confusing."

Ron still looked angry, but not infuriated as before, "Why didn't you tell us?"

Harry shrugged, "You're going to think I'm mental."

Hermione was still holding his hand, she squeezed gently, "Whatever reason you had, it's okay."

Harry kept looking down, not ready to face them. Not wanting to see the look on their face after he said this, "I-.. I liked it. I liked when he kissed me, I liked the gentle touches, I liked the love notes... I'm so confused. I shouldn't like it. I should be pissed off. I should have punched him when he kissed me. I should be threatening him, telling him to never touch me again. I should be tearing the notes up and throwing them in the fire instead of keeping them under my pillow. But I'm not doing any of those things."

Ron looked shocked, "Are you sure he didn't put you under a love potion? Surely you can't actually fancy Draco Malfoy."

Harry shrugged, "Maybe, that would make more sense than actually having these feelings genuinely."

Hermione frowned, "Harry, he's always been so foul. So cruel to you. How could you possibly fancy him? I know you're gay, but there are loads of other boys in this school. In the world. You don't have to fall for the first one who shows interest in you."

"It's not like that, Hermione."

"Then what is it like?" Ron asked, "Because I'm about to knock his teeth out if you don't give me a reason not to."

Harry looked up, "Have you ever heard of internalized homophobia?"

Hermione shook her head, "What's that?"

"It's when a gay person has been so conditioned into thinking being gay is wrong that they start to hate themselves for it. They lash out at other gay people, especially those they start to fancy. What if that's why Draco went from hating me to kissing me? What if he finally accepted his feelings and acted on them?"

"Doesn't matter if that's it," Ron said, "He's an ass to everyone. Not just you. He's an evil person, Harry."

"He doesn't seem evil when he smiles at me..."

"He seemed evil when he broke your nose."

"Boys!" Hermione intervened, "There's no need to argue about this. Ron, you have every right to be mad at Malfoy but not at Harry. Harry has every right to be confused. It's a very confusing situation. We'll work through it, but we'll get nowhere if you two start fighting again."

Ron frowned but nodded, "You're right... Sorry, Harry."

Harry nodded, "It's alright," he stood up, "I think I'm going to visit Hagrid. Alone. I need to clear my head. I think a quiet walk in the fresh air would do me some good, and he can serve as a good distraction."

Hermione sighed, "Alright. But if you're still gone thirty minutes before curfew we're coming to get you."

"Fair enough." Harry walked out of the Great Hall.

He began on his way towards the exit of the castle. But he was suddenly grabbed by the arm and pulled into an empty classroom, "Bloody hell! Malfoy?! What are you doing?!" he yanked his arm out of Draco's grip.

Draco hushed him, closing the door and pushing him against it, "If you're too loud someone will hear us, and I doubt you want to be caught alone with me." He reached over and locked the door so no one would come in.

Harry felt like last week was happening all over again, but this time pinned to a locked door instead of a stone wall, "What are you doing?" He repeated himself, softer this time.

Draco shrugged, "I told you we would do it another time if you wanted. I figured now was a good a time as any to ask."

"Oh so now you ask me? What happens if I don't want to?"

"Then I open this door and let you go wherever you were going. And we never speak of this again," Draco leaned in, "But something tells me you do want to."

Harry looked down, "I don't know... I'm confused. You made me so confused."

Draco used two fingers to lift Harry's chin up, "We could just try again. And if you do like it we can keep this up. And if you don't, we stop."

"Since when do you care about what I want?"

"Since I first realized how much I wanted you." Draco let Harry's chin go.

Harry still looked him in the eyes, "And how long has that been?"

"Since I first saw you kiss the Weasley girl, I realized how jealous that made me."

"Well, we've broken up." That was why he and Ron had been fighting. Harry had told Ginny he didn't love her just two weeks ago. He had thought he was bisexual when he got with her, but then he realized he was full-on gay.

Draco nodded, "I've noticed. And that's why I'm choosing now to show you how I feel about you," He trailed one finger down Harry's chest.

"You could've just used words, you know."

Draco chuckled, "But this," he grabbed Harry's wrists and held them against the door, "is so much more fun."

Harry didn't resist him, "If I told you I didn't want to, you would let me go right now?"

Draco nodded, "I promise you."

"Well, I don't want to. So let me go."

Draco looked a bit sad but let Harry's wrists go and took a step back, as promised.

Harry smiled, "That was a test," He grabbed Draco's shirt and pulled him close again, "You passed."

Draco smiled back, putting his hands on the door, on either side of Harry's head, "So you do want this? You're being quite confusing, Potter."

"No more confusing than you, Malfoy. Now kiss me again."

Draco immediately pushed forward and pressed their lips together. He kept his hands where they were, sort of pinning Harry again.

Harry didn't mind it, he put his hands on Draco's shoulders as their kiss became more passionate, as tongues became involved.

Eventually, Draco put his hands on Harry's thighs, just below his ass, and lifted him up, carrying him over to one of the desks and setting him down on it.

Harry didn't protest, kissing him the whole way there. Once he was sat down, he pulled his head away, "Okay, I'm definitely not confused anymore."

Draco smiled, "Good," he kissed him softly, "Because I never want to stop kissing you." he pushed Harry down to lay on the desk. Two had been pushed together so it was long enough.

Harry let him, watching Draco climb over him, "I never want you to stop kissing me..."

Draco put one hand by Harry's head to keep himself propped up, he put the other on Harry's cheek, "I never want to let you go, I just want to keep you locked in here with me forever."

"Is that why you're always pinning me? So I can't slip away? Because I wouldn't."

"Does it bother you when I do that?" He ran his thumb over Harry's cheekbone.

Harry shook his head, "The first time you did it, I felt scared. But you doing it now... I feel safe. I like it."

Draco smiled and leaned down to kiss him again, a gentle one. He savored every second of it before pulling away just slightly, "I will never hurt you. Not again."

Harry put his hand around Draco's wrist gently, "I believe you."

Draco kissed him again, the kiss becoming passionate again. A bit rough.

Harry had put his arms loosely around Draco's neck when it started. After a few minutes, he pushed at his shoulders.

Draco got the hint and pulled away, "What's wrong? Have I hurt you?"

Harry shook his head, "No, it's just... I don't want to go too far."

Draco was silent for a moment, "Have you ever gone that far before?"

"Yes... No."

Draco looked confused, "Yes or no?"

"Yes, just not like this."

"Not with a boy?"

Harry looked away, "Not when I really wanted it."

Draco still looked confused, but then his face flushed pale with realization, "Someone has forced themself on you?"

Harry nodded, "A muggle from the school I used to go to before Hogwarts. He's a few years older than me. And one summer we ran into each other on the street. He pulled me into the alley, he said he was bored..."

Draco felt his heartbreaking a bit, "You don't have to talk about it." Then he remembered what Harry had said. He said he was scared when Draco had pinned him the week before. Draco thought about that. Thinking about how terrifying it must've been to have someone pin him and kiss him after what he had gone through that summer. He sat up and sat on the edge of the desk.

Harry sat up too, reaching to put his hand on Draco's shoulder, "What is it?"

Draco looked down, "I forced myself on you. I pinned you to a wall and forced a kiss on you. You must've been terrified I would do more... You froze..."

Harry sighed, shifting so he could sit next to him and hold his hand, "I'll be honest, I was for a moment. At first, I was scared you'd hurt me. But then you kissed me. Then I was scared you would do what he did. But then I remembered how he didn't kiss me, he just started ripping my clothes off. I realized if you were going to do what he did, you wouldn't kiss me. You would just go for it. Then I realized... That I liked the feeling of you kissing me, that it felt more right than it ever felt with Ginny. And that's why I didn't fight you when you did it. And when you let me go, part of me wanted you to do it again. I've spent the entirety of this week thinking about you and that kiss. I've spent all week trying to figure out how I felt about you. But now I know," he lifted Draco's hand and kissed his knuckles, "I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid you'll hurt me. If you wanted to force yourself on me, you easily could've done it by now. But you didn't. You let me go when I told you to. You stopped kissing me when I pushed you away. I know I'm safe with you..."

Draco looked at him with a sad smile, "I will never push you to go further than you're ready for."

"I know." Harry leaned in and kissed him again, putting the hand that wasn't intertwined with Draco's on Draco's cheek.

This time Draco pulled away of his own accord, "As much as I love doing this, you should probably get going before your friends start to worry."

Harry sighed, "You're probably right..."

Draco squeezed his hand, "Meet up again tomorrow?"

Harry nodded, standing up, "Meet me in the corridor where you first kissed me. No one will bother us there."

Draco grabbed Harry's sleeve and pulled him close again, pulling him into another kiss, "It's a date," Harry laughed a bit so Draco continued, "I'm serious. I want more than to just kiss you. Tomorrow we'll have a proper date, but I'm sure kissing will be involved."

Harry smiled at him, "That sounds lovely... I'll meet you there after our last class."

Draco kissed him again, "Perfect."

Harry laughed a bit, "I'm never going to leave if you keep kissing me."

"I never want you to leave."

"You're the one who told me to leave, idiot."

Draco chuckled, "Oh, Harry," he kissed him again, "I'd stay hidden away with you forever if I could... But I've got to share you. Your friends might be looking for you."

Harry nodded, taking a step back so Draco couldn't kiss him again, "You can kiss me more tomorrow."

Draco sighed and stood up, "Let's go," he walked to the door and opened it, "Oh..."

Harry walked behind him, "What?" he peaked around him, seeing Ron and Hermione standing in the hall with wide eyes, "Oh..."

Ron was immediately taken over with rage, storming up to Draco and grabbing him by the shirt, "What the hell did you do to him?!"

Hermione grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him out of the room, "Did he hurt you?"

Harry yanked his arm away from her and immediately went to pull Ron off, "Guys, stop! He didn't do anything to me! I was in there willingly and everything we did in there was consensual!"

Hermione gasped a bit, "Did you two have sex?!"

"No!" Harry shouted.

"We almost did."

Ron immediately tried to lunge at Draco again, but Harry stepped between them, "We didn't because I told him I didn't want to. He didn't force me into anything I didn't want. He didn't even kiss me until I told him to."

That wasn't calming Ron, "He didn't wait till you told him last time."

Harry put his hands on Ron's shoulders, "I get that you're upset, but you're just going to have to get over it. We just kissed a whole bunch in there because I wanted to. And tomorrow we're having a proper date. Because he wants to do more than just kiss. He cares about me."

"He cares about you?! Do I need to start listing off all the things he's done to you?!"

"Ron!" Hermione yanked him back by his arm, "Calm the bloody hell down. Harry can date whoever he pleases, it's not your decision."

"You aren't seriously getting on board with this?!"

Hermione glared at Ron, "I'm not getting on board with anything. I'm respecting Harry's right to make his own choices. If Harry trusts Malfoy, then Malfoy earned that trust. We both know Harry doesn't give trust away lightly. We don't have to agree with Harry's decision, we just have to respect his right to make it. You're just being a stubborn ass."

"But, Hermione!"

"No, we're leaving!" Hermione started pulling Ron away by his arm, he knew better than to fight against her. She looked over her shoulder at Harry, "You better be back to the common room in the next fifteen minutes. We're not done talking about this" She kept walking.

Harry and Draco watched them go before Harry turned to look at Draco, "That went better than expected."

Draco laughed, "Granger has always been the smart one, I figured she'd be the one to come around first."

"I'm not sure she actually has, but that's okay. Ron may never come around. But at least he's only mad at you, not both of us. We just stopped fighting this week."

Draco smiled and put his hand on Harry's shoulder, "I'll carry the burden of Weasley's anger. Now you get going or Granger will have your head."

Harry smiled, kissing him one last time, "I'll see you tomorrow." He walked away quickly so he could catch up with Ron and Hermione, the biggest smile planted on his face.