⚠️⚠️ trigger warnings ⚠️⚠️

underage marriage, (jimin was 16 in the flashbacks) implied non-con, abuse, suicide ideations

"My liege, do you think..do you think we can prosper the country together? Us?" Jimin asked with a soft voice, sheepishly glancing at the young King.

"The prospering love from us can run this country alone. I believe so, my dearest lotus." the king replied. His long golden hair flew freely with that cooling wind of the spring.

"I am young, my liege. Behind on your wiser years, and only possess a heart with spaces to fill in it. I am afraid. Will my heart be sufficient at all? For the people? For you?"

The king chuckled, pulling the hem of the raven's blue hanbok stopping him from his tracks. The younger was flustered of his own words, and the increasing tension he felt within his chest. Loud heart thumping, as the royal pulled him closer feeling his warm hands rest on his waist that made him gasp softly.

Yoongi picked up the bloomed flower from the low branch of the cherry blossom tree, decorating the young noble's raven hair with the pink blossom.

"I'm a selfish man, Jimin-ah." The fingers that placed the flowers onto his hair trailed down Jimin's soft cheek, tracing carefully onto his jaw, till it rested on his chin, guiding his gaze to meet those ocean blue eyes.

Jimin was already holding in his breath, and by now he was about to implode, melt down into a puddle, being this close to the king making him a jittery mess. My, those blue eyes could stare deep into him as if he was reading his soul, down to his heart that was beating louder than a gong on his ears.

"S-selfish? Oh, my liege, I believe you were the most generous man in the nation!"

His thoughts cannot help but to bloom along with the flowers,

Was this the beginning of his very own spring day?

"I will devote myself to you and for serving-" Words interrupted and held close by the king, he felt warm lips against his own.

The younger was sure his heart fell right through his chest, and caught by the king on his hand to be kept as his.

His lips were moving in an inexperienced manner, quivering, and led by the elder. He can feel the slippery tongue protruding against his soft lips asking for entrance. Diffident to open his mouth, Yoongi was adamant. Large hand snaked down onto the younger's bottom, stroking through the pile of hanbok. The touch was light, but with Jimin's inexperience he heeded, opening his mouth slightly, hands finding its way to clutch tightly onto the fabric of the king's dark hanbok as the kiss turned feverish as the moments passed by.

Standing in the middle of spring, his body felt like the heat of summer. He was touching the king before their marriage, one step at the act of consummation. If he was seen by the elder court ladies and eunuchs, he will be scolded greatly, coercing into perverse actions early.

But the king wanted this. He was wanted by the king, a part of his duty is to serve him; spouse or not.

Out of breath, the younger parted away first with lips glistening from the king's saliva that coated him like a gloss, already plump, red and swollen from the kiss. His chest heaved, eyes now able to meet those sapphire orbs. Ocean blue now tinted with storm, eyes darkened from the desire that stormed in him with the feigning naivety of his fiancé.

"My lotus, your heart will only belong to me. Not the nation, not the monarch. Just me."

Jimin knew from that moment, the heart that fell right through the king's hand, would never be returned to him.

He does hope he can get in hand of the king's heart too.

"How pitiful."

The ladies in waiting at the court were weeping, cries throughout the castle echoed in the empty halls in the dim light. With only a candle lit into the couple's bedroom, not even the hanok can conceal the figure of their silhouettes.

"..my liege. All I wanted is you, why..why can't you spare your eyes on me?"

Park Jimin sobbed, knuckles turning white as he clutched tightly on his duvet.

For 13 long years he had endured the loveless marriage he once thought to be ideal with the tyrant king, Min Yoongi.

From the age of sixteen with the king seven years his senior, their union was sealed. He was young, beautiful, feigning with kindness and innocence that the monarch could sell to the impoverished as an ideal beauty to diminish their worries. A figure to represent the beauty and splendor of the nation, expected to provide the maternal intuition and care, even if he doesn't know how to.

Handpicked by the Queen Dowager to be wed to his son, and coming from a noble family of swindling ministers from Busan whose minds were all into gaining riches, they were more than willing to offer him as a bride for their positions to thrive further in the monarchy. His parents didn't even react, son too young to be baited in the harsh and cruel monarch, education too inadequate to run a court. They didn't even question the invitation, at the time where the King's reputation was branded of tyranny; as soon as they heard that he is the potential queen, he was sent immediately to the castle.

He was young, clueless, stupid, he barely even stepped his foot out of their home yet he's once again trapped in a bigger cage. He thought being married to royalty would be like the anecdotes that he had read when he was younger.

Like blooming azaleas during the spring, and the refreshing breeze in the summer, the warmth of coal during the winter, the falling leaves during autumn. A feel good experience, love fleeting and stagnant in the changing seasons. But nobody did tell him that love could come as a destructive storm, cold and harsh, descending to chaos-one strong hurricane disarraying a tranquil pond of lotus.

Lotus.

Dearest lotus.

"Are you mad? What else could you ever want from me? I am providing you everything. All that jewelry, this lavish life nobody else could ever have, you're the king consort of this nation! You have me. And you still wanted more?"

"My liege, please," he begged,

"Please what? What am I supposed to do with your vague words?"

"..you're too cruel."

Jimin muttered unconsciously instead, quiet and a feather-like whisper, but filled their room heavily.

"I don't know what's gotten in you lately, you weren't like this back then,"

Yoongi harshly pressed his cheek, nails digging into the soft skin, drawing blood. His brown pupils were shaking, reflecting with those cold blue eyes that were warming with fury.

"You were beautiful, compliant, a perfect queen. My dearest lotus. I don't know what descended you into madness slowly, when we should be pleasured together consummating in our shared time."

"What's gotten into me is your cruelty-!"

A quick strike met Jimin's cheek, making him fall back on his pillows. Pathetically whimpering, his salty tears stinging the small lacerations.

"One more time, Jimin. One more. I'll make sure you'll learn the cruelty you were speaking of for the rest of your life, my dearest queen."

He doesn't have to learn of the King's cruelty, he already had it carved deep within his flesh. His body could remember every pain he caused, every strike, every spite, every single time his hands clenched around his neck tight.

For the rest of his life, as long as he lives, his body will remember all of it.

Yoongi had been the first to slash his heart, the one he gave in graciously, bleeding every single day as he yearned for him to heal the wound he opened ugly. But rather than healing, he was being cut open further, heart one step away from dying and cut into two.

"Now, Jimin-ah. Compose yourself, you wouldn't want tonight to be too heated and burn you further."

Genuine love. That's what Jimin would ever want to say, but he cannot bring himself to without crying his heart out and be called pathetic and a selfish piece of shit after.

He bit his cut and chapped lip, bleeding with droplets staining the white sheets. His mouth wanted to blurt it out, tell him his needs without filter and fear, but he cannot say what he wanted so badly without the danger of him and his family being persecuted. He wanted his love and time, his affection, affirmation, his warmth, his scent without the trailing smell of sex and opium from other of his consorts in the court.

He wanted to be selfish and hog his spouse all by himself, live the fantasy love he was promised to have.

Tears fell onto his cheek, feeling the king's lips against his. The bitter alcohol still lingered on his mouth, or perhaps it was his own bitterness manifesting onto his tongue. The blood on his lips stained Yoongi dark red, the bitter alcohol mixing in with the dull metallic taste of him.

It stings, feeling Yoongi's teeth bite down onto his cut lip. It was a gentle bite, dragging his teeth on Jimin's bottom lip. It still brought pain to him, even that slight delicate movement. At this point he stopped responding to his kisses, eyes half lidded to watch the king consume him of his heat once again, to burn him in the scorching summer.

Pushed down on his mattress with his lips still captured, he can feel those long golden locks against his face. The gold on his hair, that black hanbok decorated with gold embroidery that fell off the king's body by now.

The colors that he was learning to love, thirteen long years and he's still on the edge of learning it-or maybe he did love it at a point.

Then detested it as much as he detested his first love.

He could always recall their meeting him for the first time, Jimin immediately thought that he should come to love the color of gold.

The king was peculiar appearance wise, the outstanding gold hair that only he might possess in the country, fixed in place by a mangyeo, particularly caught his eye.

Gold wasn't his favorite. But everytime he stared at his flowing gold locks, his fascination with the color increased. The king, the highest position in the nation that one could attain, and the ruler itself possessing gold hair. For him it was a way for the gods to tell that he was the chosen one, for he was born with the color gold attached to power, wealth, and royalty-all the characteristics a monarch mirrors.

But he did have a flaw that many detested, even him finding it disgusting upon first meeting. If only it wasn't compensated for by his unique features, he was undesirable.

Many have told him that his scar was an eyesore, with swirling rumors that he got it from his former fiancé, the woman from Joseon who proactively denied and detested her betrothal to him. She was gone, nowhere to be found, rumored to have run away with a commoner lover-mostly believed to be flogged and buried without a trace, her last memory was that ugly line on the king's eye from her binyeo.

But he didn't listen, he found the rumor absurd and an act of treachery against the king. A woman throwing her gracious fate away to be the spouse of the king; it was laughable.

But he should have listened. Now he is the laughable one between them.

He believed the King's story that it was a mighty scar from the war with the rebels. He was too naive, believing every word he said. He listened to the young and cunning king, he believed him to be a man wiser for his years. Who was he to blame? Days of conversing with him, Jimin believed that he may have lived too many lives to gather such wisdom. His tongue was sharp, unfiltered, yet smooth enough to engorge a young Jimin to swoon over him. His promises made it into his head down to his heart, that their marriage isn't simply for convenience.

He was chosen because he is the one.

The perfect one for him.

Yoongi muttered sweet words to him, probably the last he could hear before entering the hellish union, and he can vividly remember those promises before their wedding day.

Being loved and ruling together through thick and thin.

Cherished like a jewel and flourishing the marriage for the people to adore.

Yet he received none of it.

None at all.

Not even a stare without disgust being read in his eyes. Not with a warm touch without a striking force that made him bruise and bleed. Not with a tender kiss that leaves a bitter and poisonous feeling in his mouth. Not with his body being defiled at a given time, at a given night, like a scheduled obligation. Not with affirming words in the public eye but turned into downgrading insults behind.

Nothing with love.

Nothing genuine at all.

But he was subjected to this. The pain of being married to the tyrant. Unloved, uncared for. Perhaps this is a punishment, the whole clan's selfish sins all landed on him, weighted on his head like a bounty, and all karma does is completely take revenge on him.

"My liege, I wish to skip the banquet." Hearing the king's utensils drop firmly at the marbled table made him jolt.

"And you're deciding this now? When people are expecting you to show up after caving into your palace?"

The king gave him a stern look, head tilted slightly while his tongue pushed onto his cheek.

"We were both caved up as you were with me, my liege."

"I was taking care of you. I can't let you descend into madness, you were getting out of your mind the past days my dear lotus."

The war and famine going at the same period in autumn without the appearance of both key figure royals were sending people into an angry frenzy. Both of them were absent from their duties, together, making each other miserable. Jimin started to fight back, he could even spite him now, when all he could do before was get onto his knees to apologize for his choice of words. He kept muttering the word cruel, over and over to him as they rocked their bodies together, those siren eyes weren't just filled with the season's misery, he was mad.

He believed that he was going mad, going out of his grasp, fearing that his dearest lotus will wither against his fingers.

Yoongi needed to cure him, he cannot let a mad queen match a mad king like him. He had him for so long, day and night, he didn't let go of his fragile queen till he deemed him fixed. If it's love he was looking for, then he should spare him that affection. He doesn't care if it's too much or not, Jimin seeked for it, he will give it.

"My liege. With this appearance of mine, do you really believe people will be relieved upon seeing me?" Their queen, littered with marks from their king. Purple bites all over his neck down to his shoulders, perhaps everywhere on his body had a bite mark that one could deem that a madman attacked him. Bruises on his arms and wrists, cuts all over his cheeks. He wasn't a mess, he was falling apart, close to the autumn leaves crumbling like the season.

"Do your servants have no use for you? Ask them to cover it up at the banquet day."

"I still don't see my importance within that banquet. Your presence is more than enough, and what people crave for."

He didn't wish to stand beside him in front of those people who still believed their show off was a fairytale marriage. They were never near that made up story that was spread across the continent. That love at first sight, that they fell deeply in love with only a few interactions together. That he was able to tame the king's wild heart, and had a happy marriage.

If only they knew the entirety of their thirteen year marriage was a fraudulent one, a nightmare instead of a fairytale.

Jimin learned during his miserable days with him, that they were both insufferable. He wasn't in love, he didn't even fall out of it, he was dying along with his fading affection and only being kept by his life line of disdain and anger with his spouse. But then he also saw another perspective, Yoongi's perspective. That his efforts of trying to liven up their hellish marriage before, the king is the one trying to pull them together now, tie them tightly into a knot that is impossible to untangle and the only way is to break the ropes.

"I needed you by my side on that day, Jimin-ah."

He only ever needed him when he had a weird fixation.

"I will only be attending if my family is out of the narrative. They are a stain in my image as a queen."

Another reason why he didn't wish to attend-he was tired of the monarch's foolishness. The public banquet was a way to fool the people that the crops are still available and no extreme famine was happening around. They will be served crops and meat, one transported from another country and let believe that it was from the local farmers and their supply was sufficient unlike what the reality they are facing.

He was to dine with people who sold, no, trafficked him into the marriage. His uncles who were now upperhand ministers drowning in gold, his parents that were swimming in riches that Yoongi provided to keep them as collateral in case he decided to run off. His mother that he despised the most, the person he was clinging to when the miserable marriage started, the first person who invalidated his plea to get out of the marriage.

"Mother, oh mother, I cannot endure it anymore! Please, let me go back here. Let me be your son again." Jimin cried into his mothers arms, soft fingers trailing his hair. He was crying badly, running away from the castle all the way to his family home in Busan.

"Oh my love, hush. Look at you,"

He had that one ugly bruise on his cheek, dark and blue, formed from the slap he received from the king after he accidentally raised his voice at one of their arguments. At eighteen during the winter, he watched his spouse cut down a eunuch with his sword, his cruelty to the servant stemmed because the poor man was assisting him with the refurbishing of the tea room.

Jimin felt nauseated when the blood stained the white snow field, and those ocean blue eyes turned out to be colder than ice. Two years in their marriage he knew his emotions burst, his assertiveness, his forcefulness. Jealousy is a very much new side that Jimin saw, and his blood turned cold on its extremity.

"Mother please, I don't want it anymore! I-i..i can't stand him! He..he..he already hurt me."

"My dear, you must've angered him too much. He wouldn't have done it if there's no reason behind it!"

"Mother-"

"Hush, hush. You are young. You could've ticked a nerve on him, he gave you a lesson to learn. He is wiser than you, Jiminie. The king is a good man, look how much he had provide for you, for us."

"B-but he said he loved me. People who were in love shouldn't hurt each other. Y-you were the ones who told me such from childhood, mother."

The tender touch on his cheek made Jimin disturbed, the person who was supposed to embrace and protect him is now standing on the side of his cruel spouse.

"My dear, that is your immaturity. Love is supposed to feel. Love is supposed to feel good, feel blue, feel hurt. This is only a little part of it, Jiminie."

"Where did you bury lady Sujin, my liege?"

The way Yoongi dropped his share of makgeolli on the floor, made every attendee in the banquet turn his heads on him.

Surely only the two of their souls heard the query. The banquet was noisy, festive, with drunk ministers and representatives of townspeople enjoying the food they fabricated. The two of them sat in the middle together, clad in their best, with alcohol and food served in their soban.

"I suggest you stop such nonsense right now or else-"

"Or else, what? My liege, you cannot ravish me with all these people inside. Or would you?"

Jimin knew dropping the question in public would spare him his berating. Yoongi had found another fixation of punishing him, which was ravishing him rather than hitting him directly. Perhaps it's his way to represent his borderline anger and love, but Jimin didn't really care for it anymore-he was done investing his feelings for his spouse. He was done with the pain, too numb, and he isn't even walking on thin ice anymore. He just says what he wishes to say, then awaits whether it's time for the king to finally tire and get rid of him.

"Don't test me right now, lotus."

Yoongi snatched the queen's bowl, his scarred eye glaring at the queen to pour him the alcohol in replacement of the one he dropped. With a smirk painted on his lips,he obliged, pouring a fair amount on his husband's cup with a forced smile to relieve people and get back to their celebration.

"Did you really bury lady Sujin? Or perhaps you had her drowned in the lake? Yoongi, do you really know or did you just let the royal guards get rid of the dirt?" Saying all of it while maintaining a guise, Yoongi was perplexed. He had been 'fixing' his spouse for a while, but it seemed like he was descending further to madness with that newly formed ability of his.

"From this very moment you speak, I am forbidding you to ever talk about her again." That sharp stare, for sure if one pays attention, they will know a small commotion is flaming between the royal couple.

"I am just asking, my love. Surely you loved her first more than me, did you?"

"If it's love you are still looking for, wait for this banquet to end and I'll give you what you want." the king gritted between his teeth.

"

Talking about Lady Sujin agitates the king. Jimin already knew the answer, after years of seeking her, he found the truth. He was her predecessor, the fiance that "ran away" with another lover and was never heard from again. Jimin's fascination with her grew along with his hatred to the king, wishing to simply know her whereabouts knowing her soul had already departed. He envied her, being able to run away from such a horrible marriage and position. For him, she found freedom, peace in the arms of death, never having to face the man that made them miserable.

He found her letters, hidden under the floorboards of the room where Jimin resides. For the first time in his life, he found a friend in her even if he was unable to see her, the letters indicating the same experience he is going through, her slow death, and her last straw.

Never in his life had Jimin found someone so parallel to him, her letters keeping his sanity at bay while she descended on hers, it comforts him that someone out there once was in the same circumstances and pain he went through. In her last letter, he could always remember her lines, the same letter where he arrived at the idea of her death, the particular lines embedded onto his head;

"At the beginning of spring I shall perish.

My color shall drip onto the flower bed made of magnolias, the purified colors I should taint. I wish to feel the breeze of freedom with the sun shining before my eyes, and the cherry blossoms falling onto my body.

As my soul departs into another world, I can only hope that it is still spring, and I have found a place where my withered heart can grow and bloom once again."

Jimin had found solace in the thought that she wasn't persecuted, nor violated greatly in her last moments. She passed as she wished to, bringing herself to the end that she wanted. Sadly, her reputation was sullen with the story made to protect the king. But at the very least as her last form of revenge, she left a long lasting scar on the king, literally, with that line on his face that he will carry on for the rest of his life.

He could only wish he could do the same, the long lasting scar to inflict on his dear spouse, one he could remember the pain deep within his wounds.

But it seemed like passing during the spring is the only thing he could ever muster to do so.

"What do you think about the concept of being reborn?"

Jimin asked, staring out of the window watching the heavy snowfall pile outside the palace. The thought popped into his head from recently reading Lady Sujin's letters. Numerous times he had re-read the content of her letters, coming with a reoccuring theme of her wish to be reborn to be a better place. Somehow he was thinking of it too, that maybe he can share her dream as well.

"What made you ask for it? Was it the literature you previously read, your highness?"

"You could say so. But I am just a little enthusiastic, it's a beautiful day."

After all it was a pleasant day, his spouse was off for his hunting hobby with a few of the royal guards and the ministers. He will be back in a week, much to his glee. Jimin was so tired of his relentless fixing efforts that he can only see it as an excuse now for the king to relieve himself. The queen was sure he was broken, but he was nowhere mad as what the king accused him to be. The king was the mad man, not him. Or maybe he was fixing him truly, back then, he was craving for his time. But now he wanted him gone for the rest, he even prayed by the temple for him to get caught in a snowstorm.

"Hmm..you're right! It is a fascinating thought, your highness. If it was me, I'd like to be reborn as someone from the west!"

The young court lady, Haneul, who had been serving him for two years happily responded. Her smiles were bright as the sun, enthusiastic that were lighting up his dull days. Seeing her, Jimin could only think that he could have been as bright as her if he had reclaimed his lost years of youth instead of being subjected to marrying the king early.

"The west? We barely knew about them, why would you want to be rebirthed in such a foreign place? Wouldn't you want to stay in your country, like, being a known painter? You have a fascination for art, Haneul."

"But the unknown west is the reason why I wanted to be reborn there, your highness. What if the west had more to offer? Prettier men, prettier art, larger lands, new people to meet! How about you, how would you like to be reborn?"

Jimin contemplated her words, her valid points. He didn't know what life is out there other than his home and the suffocating palace. He was deprived of freedom, only jumping from one bird cage to another. But he wouldn't deny that he is privileged, with all that riches and title he had with him compared to a normal citizen. But all that treasure he has cannot compare to the freedom he sweetly wanted, that can only be attained by death.

"I'd like your idea too, I'd like to be reborn in a far away place."

He wondered how it would be, waking up with a new foreign language to speak, a new culture and a kinder set of people. Somewhere without a cruel spouse, somewhere he was loved genuinely.

But what if..what if even in his next life, he will fail like the first? Like this? What if he did live another life, and Yoongi was still in it? Or there is another cruel man in replacement? Maybe he found true love but in the worst living conditions? What if he fell in love yet his beloved passed before him? The existential question to the afterlife is endless, and it brings

uncertainty to his thoughts.

"Haneul, what if in your next life you didn't get to experience the dream you wished for?"

The court lady hummed, tilting her head to think of a response.

"We don't get to choose our next lives, and if that's the case..then I'd definitely live with it. I had no choice! Experience the new life, maybe it couldn't be that bad! Then live for the next, then the other, and another lifetime, until I finally live my dreams."

"You're choosing to live repetitive sufferings until you have the life you wish for? What if the pain is eternal?"

"Your highness, we are human beings! We are bound to hurt repetitively, but it's on our resilience on how we'll drag our feet to the ground, until we get to the place where we think we belong."

Living itself is already exhausting. And the thought to repeat it again, and again, and another more living different lives and uncertainty of suffering to come to find happiness..it's a thought that he can entertain.

She always expressed the thought of being rebirthed, did Lady Sujin's death provide her the new life she wished for or was she still seeking for her happiness? Was she suffering in her other life? Was she able to find her new spring? Or did she just find another hell to rest in?

He could only know once he withers this upcoming spring like Lady Sujin.

"Lotus. Let's take a walk together, the trees have already bloomed and it's perfect to be refreshed."

Jimin whimpered, the warm body of his spouse against his bare back. His golden locks stuck on the sweat their bodies shared. The request was beyond belief, as if he could simply just walk over after being ravished animalistically. Jimin wasn't sure of any particular reason this time, whereas the king just bursted in palace once again and caught his lips into a feverish kiss without any word. His hair was everywhere, some of his locks were even torn from the pressure of being pulled. Too exhausted to even move, tears had soiled his pillow wet, that even at this point he could only still cry from being tired of his spouse's treatment.

"I am exhausted, my liege. If you wish to, you can bring another one of your consorts in your harem to accompany your walk."

"But I wanted you. Spring day is special for us, isn't it?"

Spring day used to be special for Jimin. The first time his heart ever beat and gave in, also the last time he could ever feel it. But soon, he may be able to feel his beating heart again.

"I've waited for you in many springs that have passed, my liege. Why now?"

"Welcoming the new season with you feels the right one, my dearest lotus. The one that I met during spring is you, it will feel wrong to walk along the other consort when spring belongs to us." He felt his chest heave tightly, feeling his rough hands trail along his tear stained cheek gently.

Remembering the times of being a leftover, requesting the attention of the busy king just to walk on a spring day. Rejected every single time, sitting lonely under the tree, that the hue of pink had been the color of longing for him. Already tuned himself to be ready to walk on a lonely spring day as his last, he wished to spend it without the dreading atmosphere of the king.

And now..now he is giving him the attention the young and vulnerable Jimin could ever crave from his spouse. Even if it cannot make up the thirteen year misery, he could only feel the despondent feeling of his past self shaking his soul.

"..i'll let the court ladies prepare you for the walk." feeling those lips against his again briefly before feeling the loss of warmth against his back, the sound of his doors sliding close echoing the room.

As the king left the room, Jimin could only feel the exhaustion hugging him further.

"Lotus, eyes on the road."

Yoongi warned, watching his queen stare empty at the space while walking under the cherry blossoms. A pang of guilt did hit him like a wave, watching the raven drag his feet as they walk and his brown siren eyes devoid of any spark. Maybe he did exhaust him that much, he did burst onto his palace unannounced and claimed his body entirely for a while.

He had no reason to, aside from his needs that were screaming that he needed him. He can lend the energy to others in his harem, but he had a particular craving to taste, and it only screamed his dearest lotus. Or maybe, this is the way his body is reminding that it is spring, and he had to commemorate their bond.

His blue eyes were warily watching him, whenever he can feel his spouse's body is about to tip over.

"Once we reach the last tree, I shall carry you back to the palace."

The king denied the presence of the royal guards during their stroll. Their spring stroll should be private, with only him and his dearest spouse, nobody else should be present.

And the last tree was the special one. Yoongi would always recall the first time they went together, the young sixteen year old noble too infatuated with him. If ever, that was the first time in his life that he felt genuinely desired and wanted by somebody after the scar inflicted to him by his late fiancé.

Cho Sujin. His fiancé that took her own life before their wedding, the woman that scarred him for the rest of his life. When Jimin mentioned her, his blood turned cold. She was a buried memory to him, a mad woman. He never even wanted her in the first place, they weren't a match- they were a house of cards that already collapsed even before their union. She was everything he ever disliked, a disdainful magnolia.

His dearest lotus wasn't his choice either, but he had grown to be fond of him. But he was young, immature, unbloomed during the early years of their marriage that his connection to him was dampened. But could never deny his beauty, a fitting betrothed to become the queen, even with his dampened feelings his attraction to him was superlative, and he would be selfish to keep him only as his.

Jimin was soft hearted, pure, too much of his heart was too open, that he had to teach him a lesson-quite staining their bond, as long as he could learn to harden it. The king didn't quite understand why the Queen Dowager picked such a spouse for him, someone that can be consumed by the wicked monarch. But he was reasoned out that they will be needing a lotus, pure and tranquil, to cover his stained figure as a branded tyrant.

He could only notice Jimin blooming lately, but as he blooms, his supposed white petals are turning darker covered in mud, and he is slowly turning into a mirror of the woman he disdains. Yoongi knew Jimin was turning mad, just like the mad woman. And he will pay attention to him, until that image of her diminishes in him. His dearest lotus turning to be a disdainful magnolia. Perhaps she was living to that name, that she will never leave her like the scar, just like the magnolias that equates to eternity.

"My liege, when the spring ends what will you do?" the raven asked with a weak voice.

"The same. Just foresee how the next summer, the fall, and the winter will turn out. Then look forward to next spring."

Shortly, they reached the last cherry blossom tree. It was erupted at the edge of the cliff, the biggest tree among all in the field. The tree held a dear memory. Before, Jimin could only think when he had his first kiss with the king under the blossoms.

Now, all he had in mind was the place where Lady Sujin found her freedom. Where she laid under the pile of blossoms and magnolias, with her blood dripping on the flowers and the king's sword in hand as she pierced herself to the beginning of her new eternity.

If only he could have the strength to do it right in front of his spouse, his last parting scar to him under this blossoms to replace their cherished memory, he will do so.

"Lotus, stay still."

Jimin's thoughts were interrupted with the king's voice, his rough hand tilting his chin slightly to place the bloomed flower, tucking it behind his ear.

"I'm a selfish man, Jimin-ah."

Surely he had heard these words from him before, and even the way the sun busked onto his golden hair. It felt like a repeat, the same scene thirteen years ago where he spent the first blooming of his very own spring.

"I know, my liege. You were very selfish, and cruel."

Jimin wanted to break it if it was a foolish dream, he wanted to be awake with a strike from the king. But he wasn't met with any painful jolt, but a tender kiss on his cheek.

"It did work. You're mine, and mine alone."

The king's affectionate gestures icks him. He did wonder if this was an act of repentance from him, or he's in a good mood after his ravishing to him. Yoongi pulled him with the hem of his hanbok, the king sitting down with his back leaning on the trunk comfortably, pulling Jimin close and sat on his lap.

"The king and the queen shouldn't be caught in the public like this." he warned, wanting to get off him as soon as possible.

Yoongi didn't respond, arms wrapped around Jimin's waist hugging him tightly. He wasn't flustered of it, younger Jimin surely would. For him rather than feeling sheepish, he felt peculiar. It was strange. Affection from the king without being hurt physically and mentally was strange.

"Sleep. You're exhausted." the king's tone changed, the same vexing tone he used to put him in his place.

Sounds about right.

Jimin did go in with the silence, with only nature's sounds filling the emptiness. The whistling wind and the rustles of leaves, then shortly heard a soft snore from his spouse. It was disturbing how comforting it feels at the moment, that he did feel his eyelids getting heavier and the exhaustion embracing him once again.

Maybe he could let it go this time, it will be their last spring together after all.

Waking up with the smell of strong magnolias in the air, Jimin couldn't help but to search for the strong smell of flowers. It was so strong that it almost made him wrench, from his nostrils it reached down his throat closing it tightly, the scent being too pungent.

Noticing the king was still resting, he carefully got off his lap with careful steps to avoid waking the king.

He had the strong urge to search for the magnolias and throw it away, but as he searches for it, the more it gets pungent for his senses. Flowers were supposed to smell nice, delightful, but it made him feel heavy and dizzy.

It is spring, and many flowers have bloomed. But the smell of magnolias was the strongest, even more than the combined scent of the grass and cherry blossoms.

The more he was far away from Yoongi's spot, the scent attacked his senses further.

Getting close to the edge of the cliff, he could finally see the branch of magnolias hanging and stemming from the brim.

"I should pluck it, this is too much."

Jimin carefully got down to reach the hanging magnolias at the edge, arm reaching for the branch. As he extended his arm and got a grip of the magnolias, a sudden ominous feeling rushed onto his body.

For someone who wished to die badly, he felt great fear run through his system. His heart wasn't racing, it was slowing down along with the environment right in front of him. The deep and dark steep way all the way down the cliff, sharp rocks extending far down as if it was never ending.

"Lotus!"

He could hear Yoongi's voice, about to raise his body to face his way when he felt a force-a hand that pushed him. The king was far, there's no one to push him, yet his feet stumbled and fell back, the edge of the cliff softened and cracked.

"My liege," he muttered, everything passing way too quickly.

With a fading view, he could see his spouse helplessly run to reach him, eyes fixated on his gold hair and..

the woman behind him.

"Sujin-ah."

Her name fell on his lips as he fell with the magnolias in his hand;

"The other side is better, Jimin-ah."

"He's waking up!"

Jimin heard unfamiliar voices ring on his ears.

His body was aching everywhere, his head had a drilling feeling as if one hit him with a large stone. With eyelids too heavy he was forced to open it, but everything was blurry; he could only recognize the hue of blue around the area.

"Jimin, my love, can you hear me?"

It was a voice he didn't recognize-the language too. It was a deep, raspy voice that didn't belong to his spouse, and a dialect too foreign to belong to the nation he hailed from. He could only remember falling down, and the soul of Lady Sujin bidding him goodbye. Were these men foreign doctors that Yoongi sent? He cannot make up the language they speak, but somehow felt familiar.

Or was he still dreaming?

"I don't think he will recognize and make out his surroundings quickly, your grace. His carriage fell from the cliff from the stormy weather and he sustained a head injury. Things may be difficult for him as of now, and may take time."

He could hear another man speak, and his head was ringing far more terribly than before.

Forcing to open his eyes, his eyes meeting a pair of green orbs, similar to the color of tea. His eyes were deep and mesmerizing, noticing his quirky feature of only having one lid then absent on the other. But nonetheless the quirky feature was overshadowed by the man's unusually perfect qualities, starting from his nose down to his lips. He didn't have traditionally long hair, not ones like Yoomgi, instead he sported brown wavy hair, pushed back neatly. He could only notice lately the flock of foreign men behind him, with features abundant in the east. Jimin could confirm that they might have been westerners, but he was still confused of their presence

"Oh, love! Do you recognize who I am?" The man took his hand placing a kiss on the back of his hand. Jimin could only flinch and pull back his hand, eyes wide from shock.

He's the queen! Who was he to suddenly kiss his hand like that?

"O-oh love. I'm sorry." He could tell from his green eyes that he was sincerely sorry, and the worry still painted on his face.

"Who are you?" Jimin's own palm flew to cover his own mouth from shock. He spoke another language, he was sure! It wasn't his native language, nor he had the knowledge about what it was. It naturally came from him, as if he knew it, and mastered it. Foreign, but he was sure it conveyed what he wished to say.

"Y-you don't remember who I am?"

He watched as the man stood quickly and talked to the doctor-but he cannot entirely make up their conversation but somehow had a gut feeling that he understood their words. He could only have a hunch that it was about what he asked, that even the physician looked extremely worried about his situation.

"Lord Park may be suffering from memory loss, your grace."

They kept mentioning your grace when they talked to him. Perhaps it was his name?

"Your grace..?" he repeated, mumbling his name. A woman knelt beside him, a sense of familiarity within her. He felt a connection to her just like he did with court lady Haneul, even though she's a fully westernized woman.

"Don't you remember him, my lord?"

She asked, and he could only shake his head. His eyes darted everywhere, with all the unfamiliar furniture and displays surrounding him that he had never seen before in his life. His eyes were searching for a mirror, and when he spotted one even from afar, his eyes were wide as saucers watching a different reflection in the mirror.

Blonde hair, even lighter than the king's. He was still him, but he felt different-foreign.

"He is the Duke of Vergana, your fiancé, Duke Kim Taehyung."

Was this the other side Lady Sujin had spoken of?

Notes:

hi! i hope you enjoyed the first part. it will be one of my works that was very new to me, and kind of struggling in writing. time jumping sure is a fun concept tho! seven chapters for exactly seven men, this concept itched my brain when i listened to face album's face off, moxed in with outro: tear and the vocaloid song, jinsei reset button and eve's dramaturgy. it blended out in my brain, thus i came up with this concept.

but anyways, i hope it went well considering you reached the end notes :)) leaving feedbacks will be greatly appreciated.

also you can donate or commission me in ko-fi!

https://ko-fi.com/