A/N: sadly me and my friends that were in a group together didn't get to perform this like we wanted too.

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Get a Clue

Characters:

Ms. Scarlet J. - Chelsea A.

Mrs. Norah Peacock - Gabbii A.

Ms. Alexis White - Sabrina R.

Ms. Robert Turquoise - Lotty D.

Mr. Draco Green - Dominic G.

Professor T. Plum - Travis L.

Director Debra - Mira R.

Assistant - Janarra L. (me)

Cops - Locke P. & Dominic G.

Kernel Mustard - Locke P.

Setting: A mansion set in a theater. A director of a spinoff of the game Clue runs through it with the cast when things mysteriously g wrong and people start dying.

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(The Living room, a couch a center stage, a few cushioned chairs on each end of the couch with small table to separate them and a coffee table with a few book and a wine bottle with 7 glasses set on it have been laid out. The director and assistant, she holds a clipboard, have taken seats in chairs downstage right. While the lady actors all have a cup of tea in their hand and sitting down on the couch and chairs. The men all have taken standing positions all looking at Mr. Green who is getting ready to make an accusation. He crosses from stage right to downstage left.)

Mr. Green: (breaks character and says his line completely wrong) So I think that individually we are (pauses and says unsure) that we are..all murderers in this house?

Director: (Stands in her seat in the front seat center house. Threatens and crosses to Mr. Green) I swear by all means in this world if you can't get these bloody lines correct (quickly walks with finger pointed towards the rest of the cast) I will kill all of you! And where the heck is Kernel Mustard!? He should have been here by now!

Ms. Scarlet: (Rising from her seat, crossing her arms) I would like to see you try, What do you expect from us? Opening night is tonight.

(Director storms off stage in a huff. The assistant quickly follows behind her.)

Director: (From backstage, shouts) Take ten!

Mr. Green: (Starts running off stage right) I hope someone brought Cheez-Itz! (He exits.)

(Lights fade and open on the cast standing around a snack table some people are snacking while Mr. Green gorges on an entire bowl filled with C.I.)

Mr. Green: (Speaks with mouth full) What's up with the director, I mean we're doing our best, what more (takes another handful shoves it in his mouth.) does she want from us?

Ms. White: Maybe if you were to study your lines instead of making a pig of yourself at the snack table, she might be a little less angry with all of us.

Mrs. Peacock: Indubitably. I think if you, and especially Mr. Green weren't always talking with your mouth full and memorized your lines it would be better.

Ms. White: You know what you (pauses and tries to think of an insult.) (loudly says) YOU... Ugly... Old. Hag! You can just take your wrinkly butt and leave this theater, I refuse to be insulted in my own sanctuary.

Professor Plum: Now now everyone, lets just calm down and keep our heads on. This is an elegant play, now quit arguing!

(All cast members look at Plum, while Ms. White and Mr. Green glare at each other.)

Mr. Green: But the fricken Director is so hostile I can't have a conversation with the girl!

(The director enters stage right, the assistant with her trusty clipboard follows closely behind.)

Director: (Shouts) All actors on set! Now!

(Everyone reluctantly proceeds to exit stage left. Mr. Green comes running back to grab another handful of C.I. and then sprints back to join the group. Lights fade. The snack table has been replaced by the living room set. All actors scatter back on to the stage. Once all on set the director stares at the script from her chair at downstage right)

Director: Scene!... (tapping her foot with impatience.)

Ms. Turquoise: (sitting at her chair now eyeing the wine bottle on the coffee table) If you must ask, I do believe my accusation is strongly towards you, Mr. Green. I mean you were the last one to be seen with the host.

Mr. Green: (Insulted) Why I never! How dare you accu- (starts coughing continuously, falls to his knees an half heartedly says:) accuse me of this murder ..(Falls flat on the floor, dead.)

(All actors stare horrified at Mr. Green's body, Scarlet reaches for a script that is sitting on a small table next to Turquoise and flips through it.)

Director: That was marvelous, simply marvelous! That was a beautiful death!

Mrs. Peacock: (checking his pulse she quietly murmurs) He's..dead. (a little louder) He's actually dead!

(Everyone except the director, the assistant and Mr. Green, starts to freak out shouting random things and screaming hes dead.)

Director: What are you all ranting about!? Calm Down!! Now, lets practice taking him off stage. Go on, go.

Prof. Plum: Is he actually dead!?! (Puts two fingers against Mr. Greens neck then speak with great anxiety) Shouldn't we call the cops!? This isn't what was supposed to happen.

Director: NOW!! He's just perfectly in touch with his inner actor!

(Professor Plum and Mrs. Peacock hesitate at first but then tries picking up Mr. Green, Mrs. Peacock drops her side of Mr. Green)

Mrs. Peacock: Ohh Sorry Dear... I forgot Im supposed to be old. Remember? (Picks her side back up, slowly)

Director: Marvelous! (Claps and walks off the stage, taking a seat in the house. the assistant follows)

Ms. White: (Slightly eyeing the director) Just play along you idiots.

(Everyone looks at one another. All actors take positions nervously.)

Ms. Scarlet: (loudly whispers to white) I can't believe he is really dead!

(White jumps from the "whisper")

Director: Places (pause as the actors take their places) And Scene!

Ms. White: I believe we should go to the spa room. Our host always did (slowly and sadistically says) like to go for a HOT steam.

Professor Plum: I doubt that would be a good idea. I say we go to the ballroom.

(Ms. Turquoise is seen wandering around in the background and stops to stare at the floor near the coffer table)

Ms. Turquoise: Everyone, quickly. Look here, (she picks up a gun and points it at other cast members) I don't recall this being here.

(Cast screams and does anything to protect themselves)

Scarlet: (snakes her way slowly towards Turquoise and carefully takes away he gun) I'll just ... take that.

Professor Plum: (scratches his head and snaps his fingers.) Maybe it has fingerprints.

Scarlet: What for? It wasn't used. (Speaks towards audience) I swear everyone here is like a secret blond.

White: If there was, its no use, Turquoises fingerprints is all over it now. (Ms. Turquoise angrily walks over.)

Ms. Turquoise: (Whispers angrily) Stop being so mean To me!(Stomps her foot)

Ms. White: Oh stop acting like such a toddler. (Takes the gun fro Scarlets hand and looks at it carefully)

Professor Plum: (Loudly says) I've got it! Who was the only person who was arguing and never got along with Mr. Green?

Mrs. Peacock: That's not part of the script. (She's pushed to the side by Professor. She glares at him.)

Ms. White: (walks around to center stage, holding it correctly and fumbling around with it, taking off safety) It ... It feels heavier than last rehearsal.(gun shoots and plum falls to the floor. Everyone screams.) Oh my gosh! Plum!

Plum: (sitting up holding his chest) It's just a scratch.(Falls back down yelling in pain) A flesh wound..really. (exhales and dies)

Director: What is going on?! (storms on stage) Plum Get up! (Kicks him) What is wrong with him?

Peacock: (puts his hands against Plums neck) He's gone cold. I... I don't feel a pulse. He's...

Ms. White: Well... I'm not a doctor or anything...but, I think he's dead.

Director: I highly doubt that.(kicks harder)

Ms. Scarlet: (says suspiciously, and hold up a hand and points to the director behind it) Who would do this to him!?

Ms. White: I don't know. It wasn't me. It was probably, Turquoise.

Ms. Scarlet: Yeah, Yeah that's right! She's the one that found the gun! They just got a divorce too, she did it! For his life insurance wasn't it?! Or..or she was angry at him..or depressed.

Ms. Turquoise: (says shaky) W-what ..I would never ever do that! I still love him, we didn't get a divorce.

Mrs. White: (calm) I highly doubt that, you two ALWAYS get into fights with one another. (Beat) I'll be right back. I'm going to the powder room. (Stomps off stage left)

Ms. Turquoise: We are not getting a divorce. We never said that. Besides.. why are you blaming me? Scarlet is the one who held that gun last.

Scarlet: (Scarlet holds her hand to her chest and gasps) Me? By god you were the first who had it.

(Everyone gasps and looks at Turquoise judgmental)

Turquoise: Why is Sam's hell are you blaming me! Ms. White is the one who has a thing out for Mrs.- (lights go out, Ms. Turquoise is heard screaming in the background and a clink is heard then a thud.)

Ms. Scarlet: What happened to the lights!?

Assistant: (she runs onto stage) The power went out. (Shines the flashlight on cast and slowly makes her way to shine the light on Ms. Turquoise's corpse. Ms. Scarlet is heard screaming in the background and is seen, by flashlight, running off stage left.)

Mrs. Peacock: What in the world is going on? I didn't sign up for this. I'm leaving.

Director: No, everyone stay here I'm calling the cops! And while I'm at it, I'll turn on the lights. (she exits)

(All actors huddle and are scared)

Mrs. Peacock: Why are we still hanging around here when any of us could be the next target?

Ms. White: (Entering from stage left) I agree with you, this is absolutely outrageous.

Assistant: Well lets see what the Director comes up with the police. I doubt anyone will believe her. And from the looks of it... Our play seems to be coming to life! Which is pretty terrifying...

(A long pause is held between the actors, some wander and some stay in place. Moments pass and the Director comes in.)

Director: They didn't believe me.. they won't be here for awhile. I'm going to get some tea. My throat hurts from yelling at you idiots all rehearsal. (puts hand over eyes to rub her temples) I'll be back. Assistant, please keep an eye on them. (begins to walk off toward stage right.)

Ms. White: I'll accompany you, better stay together, and while we're at it, lets look for Scarlet. (they exit together.)

(Improve conversations among one another. A huge moment has past and a slice is heard.)

(Mrs. Peacock, the only one to have heard it, begins to exit right but then comes running back onto stage pointing in the direction she came from looking frightened.)

Ms. Scarlet: (slowly entering after Norah) What's wrong Norah!?

Mrs. Peacock: (Voice shaking) The Director ... S-She's ... she's (screams and points at Scarlet.)

Ms. Scarlet: What are you talking about?

Mrs. Peacock: (crying) DEAD!!

Assistant: (calmly) Are you sure she didn't pass out?

Mrs. Peacock: Yes! I am sure! She is face down with an axe in the back of her head!

(Everyone but Assistant screams. The Assistant just looks dumbfounded.)

Mrs. Peacock: It was YOU wasn't it? (points at Ms. Scarlet) You killed Green and Turquoise didn't you?!?

Ms. Scarlet: What?! No I did not!

Assistant: (tries to speak calmly but her voice is shaking) I'll go see what's wrong. Everyone just wait here. (walks off stage right) Oh my gosh! (long pause) It's you? W-wait w-what are you doing!? (screams, thud.)

(All is silent as everyone is stunned. After a few beats Ms. White enters from stage left not yet noticed by the other actors.)

Mrs. Peacock: (as if coming from a daze) Ms.? Are- Are you there? (starts off stage but stops before walking off and gasps) O-oh... No...

Ms. White: (irritated) What's wrong now?

Ms. White: (just now being noticed by the other actors) What's going on?

(They jump at her appearance)

Ms. Scarlet: (screaming) She's dead! Oh god! She's dead. (runs out of breath and faints.)

(Ms. White looks around and at Ms. Scarlet.)

Ms. White: What's wrong with her? (Gently kicks Scarlet with her foot.) Is she okay?

Mrs. Peacock: I think she fainted. Let's put her on the couch.

(White & Peacock both picks up Ms. Scarlet and lays her on the couch.)

Ms. White: Oh, gosh! Why is she so light?

Mrs. Peacock: Does she ever eat?

Ms. White: Who knows. Just put her on the couch and we'll figure this out.

Mrs. Peacock: Lets split up and find some clues.

Ms. White: Are you crazy?! There is a killer in here! I'm not leaving this room.

Mrs. Peacock: (sarcastically) Ok, fine stay here and get killed.

Ms. White: But what happens if the killer comes and kills Ms. Scarlet?

Mrs. Peacock: Then you can catch them, and tie them to a chair with this rope (gives rope to Ms. White) and prevent them from killing anyone else.

Ms. White: Fine, but I'm going to sit in this chair. (yawns and sits in the chair.)

Mrs. Peacock: Ok don't fall asleep you lazy bum.

(Mrs. Peacock leaves, Lights fade for a moment then come back up showing White missing and Scarlet waking up, she looks around.)

Scarlet: H-hello? Is anyone there? (Walks around looking) Anyone? (Looks off stage right) Oh thank the heavens, what is going on? Do you know? (Pause) What ...what is that? (Backs up a bit) No.. p-please no don't! (Gunshot heard, it hit a stream of light bulbs, a blackout happens, and choking can be heard.)

Mrs. Peacock: Oh dear, what happened to the lights. (she turns on a separate bank of lights, comes back on stage and looks around, she looks horrified as she sees Scarlet's hanging body swinging from side to side. White is no where to be seen) Scarlet ...my poor ..sweet daughter....(falls to her knees crying. Pauses.) Alexis White!!! Where are you! You witch! Show yourself! (Gets up and pushes over the arm chair.) You murdering wench!

(Grabs her cane from the side of the sofa and bangs it against the coffee table, sirens can be heard from the distance, enter Officer 1 from the house stage right.)

Officer 1: Hello we got a call earlier about- (stops and looks up, looks terrified and backs slowly off stage, Officer 1 comes back holding Officer 2 in front of him, Officer 2 looks frightened after looking up. Officer 1 clears his throat.) Now.. we got a call earlier saying that there were.. murders... going on? W-where is the killer?

Peacock: Where is the killer? (Angrily says and waves her cane) Does it look like I know where the bloody killer is! If I knew where the blazes she was I would kill her myself!

(Both officers look at each other then at Mrs. Peacock.)

Officer 1: I'm sorry mam but we are going to have to take you in for questioning and possible murder.

(Officer 1 walks off opposite side of stage and back into the house)

Mrs. Peacock: Excuse me? Possible murder? How do I look like the killer in this situation! That is my daughter hanging from there! And you want to blame this on me?

Officer 2: Well mam. You are the only one in the room and you have a good amount of blood on your clothes (points at the blood on her clothes) and a cane in your hand. So we can only assume you are the killer here.

Mrs. Peacock: That doesn't mean a darn thing!

(Officer 1 is heard screaming and runs back on stage hiding, again, behind second officer.)

Officer 1: T-there are dead bodies everywhere.. I don't wanna do this anymore! Just take her into custody so we can leave!

(Officer 2 walks towards Mrs. Peacock with handcuffs, Peacock waves her cane around at the officers.)

Mrs. Peacock: You keep those dirty things away from me. I'm innocent!

Officer 2: Yah Yah Yah. Come on you old cook, (puts handcuffs on her) you're going down town.

Mrs. Peacock: No! You have the wrong person! I'm being framed! It's White you want! (Tries to break free.)

Officer 1: Now that's just racist.

(All walk off stage with Mrs. Peacock yelling in frustration.)

Mrs. Peacock: White! You will pay for what you've done! You hear me?!? Pay I say! (Yells lengthy:) White!

Officer 1: (yells.) Stop being racist and get this crazy lady out of here!

(Takes Mrs. Peacock off stage into the house with Officer 2 and hear a car door shut and they drive away.)

(After a while creaking can be heard from backstage, Ms. White slowly makes her way center stage. She laughs softly.)

Ms. White: Ha..HA! Yes dear Nora, you are definitely innocent. All you have to do now is prove it. Once they find out that your dead husband's secret, illegitimate daughter is also dead the motive will have been planted. You're killing spree was out of an act of rage once you finally saw your husbands and maids name on Scarlet's birth certificate. The certificate you found when you were cleaning out his office. The one that I planted so you could see that, that man was a worm, a cheating scum. I should know, he was once my husband. But I loved him. He was my everything, we were even planning on having kids of our own, that plan lasted until the day he told me he wanted a divorce and that he was actually in love with you. (To the audience) This worked out perfectly, (Pause) barley though. That wench is framed and will be rotting in jail, and everyone else, everyone that has had a part in making my life worse.. (happily says:) Is dead. Mr. Green, (off to the side) that annoying buffoon, he was always spitting food in my face. I don't deserve that, anyone else maybe, but not me. I could've sworn one time while I was talking to him a piece of spaghetti flew into my mouth, (shivers and says disgusted) INTO my mouth. (Pause) Mr. Plum, he was catching on, how though? (Shakes her head) That doesn't matter anymore, he's dead. And his wife, Ms. Turquoise, that idiot girl almost told EVERYONE how I loathed Mrs. Peacock. It's a good thing I stopped before I walked off to the bathroom. If I hadn't then who knows what would have happened. (Pause) The Assistant and the Director were both just loose ends. Plus the Director called the cops, I didn't really have a choice... or.. did I? (Reassures herself) No.. no I did. She never thought I was -good enough, all she ever gives me is the pity parts. When am I going to be the star? The beacon of light which everyone centers around? (Beat) Poor Ms. Scarlet. (Walks over to the armchair that's near center stage right. Beat.) I guess I didn't have to kill her. But if I didn't then where would the motive be for my plan? Well, I guess I could have stuck to the plan with having her play along, after all she did hate Mrs. Peacock as well, even though Mrs. Peacock did try and get on her good side when she found out about her. My.. well.. her husbands and.. maids... (says with disgust) Daughter! It wasn't enough though. But what would happen when the police come back and found her body missing? Then they would really suspect someone else had done all this. All in all I believe this was a good day. (A grandfather clock can be heard, tolling at 6.) Six O'clock already? (Gets up slowly) I better go, (stands up) I'd best not miss another doctors appointment. (Dusts herself off and walks off stage left)

(A couple beats pass.)

Kernel Mustard: (Running onto stage trying to get multiple things in order. He is dressed in normal street clothes.) Hey guys sorry I'm laaa!!!.... (Suddenly seeing the multiple dead bodies and looks awestruck and lost.) Ohh... My god... I don't uh. Oh I might relocate yes.

(Lights fade.)

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