Prologue

Lucy brought her trembling hand upwards,her arm aching as her body suffered the consequences of having used too much mana. A strangled sob left her mouth, she had never felt so utterly weak. "Please..."She begged as the demon neared her, standing tall a few yards away. It's red ruby eyes glimmering in the dark. "Loke!"She cried out, knowing full well that she was risking her life by calling upon another spirit in such shape. The golden light was dim but warm as it enveloped her, further lighting the forest they stood in, wishing it hadn't. The demon looked far more intimidating in such angle and light, it's mouth twisting into a snarl, acidic like spit sizzling into the ground, leaving behind a steaming hole. She could only imagine the pain if any were to fall on her. Her eyes taking in Loke, her heart dropped, he was in no condition to fight.

He looked tired, he should be tired. She had called upon him not too long ago to fight off other demons that had been lurking around. She felt guilty, he was her last resort, the strongest she had. Cuts still adorned his usually fast healing body, but she hadn't even let him rest.

"I-I am sorry."Lucy fell onto her knees, feeling the last of her strength leaving her. Wicked warped thoughts drowning her in guilt and anger. Anger for being so weak, while her team battled the larger demons and the maker itself, she had been given the simple task to take on these newly hatched creatures. And yet she still couldn't fully complete it. Her sadness was eating her from the inside remembering each and every time her spirits—friends—had risked their life for hers, who now were tending to their wounds. Wounds that would have been fatal to a mere mortal. They would have been dead had they been anyone else.

God, it could have been one of her teammates and she would have been useless. Her eyes widened as the demon roared loudly, the roar visibly causing a mini earthquake. In the distance she could make out the purest forms of ice, Gray. She sat behind Loke as he brought his fists up, he had been "killed" once already this day by one of those demons, Lucy's heart twisted as she could feel the slight emotion of fear that Loke emitted.

"Go back, Loke."She spoke softly. Loke flinched at her words.

"No."He spoke firmly. "Fear should only help make one stronger, Master. I will protect you to the ends of earth, as my promise was to you. I will not break it over a half-baked demon."

A ghost of a smile flashed upon her face before her vision began to be peppered by black dots. Reality swirling into sweet darkness, her body letting loose, dropping into the warm arms she couldn't mistake. Natsu.

_

Her eyes fluttered open, sitting up so fast she barely had time to take in a proper breath before vomiting all over the infirmary sheets that covered her.

"A side effect from using too much magical power. Only an imbecile would use their own blood to power their magic."Porlyusica's voice strong, like a mother scolding her child.

"I had no other choice."Said Lucy, feeling rather embarrassed of herself.

"You could have avoided conflict."Porlyusica pressed as she scrunched her face, pulling the stench covered sheets away from Lucy. "You nearly lost 5 liters of blood."

"And leave my comrades to fend for themselves? I would rather die."Lucy muttered. Not fully intending for the pink haired woman to hear.

"That may have well happened had your friend Wendy not been here. You nearly drained the poor girl of mana by replenishing your blood loss. I'm sure that white neko is ready to give you hell for it."Porlyusica turned away from her. Grabbing new blankets. "I believe you caused your friends far more trouble by trying to play a tough wizard. I will be calling them in. They have been worried this past week."

"Week!?"She called after Porlyusica who was already out of the infirmary door. She tried moving, tried to call her strength forward. But was met with aching muscles and bones. She hissed as she tried laying back. Guilt chipped at her having heard of Wendy being her savior, she'd owe her big from now on.

"Lucy, thank the heavens.."Erza breathed out relieved and embraced her in a bone crushing hug.

"E-Erza!"Lucy coughed as she pushed the red-head away.

"I thought you were a goner,"Erza shook her head, a forlorn smile stretching on her face. "You have no idea how worried I—we—were.."Her face cast downwards, as though she was ashamed. Lucy was stricken with horror as Erza looked back up, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "I don't wish to go through this again. Do you understand?"Erza demanded as she rubbed the tears away from her eyes.

Lucy nodded stiffly. She clenched her fists under the blankets. The pressure behind her eyes building up as she wanted to cry herself for being the cause of this. She had seen Erza cry on one occasion, she hadn't ever meant to be the second. To make such a woman cry, Lucy felt that invisible hand grip at her heart. Remorse. Those heinous thoughts invading her mind yet again.

Weak.

They whispered at first, luring her into the deepest darkest corners of her mind. Things she hadn't wanted to see. Things she denied, pushed away and eventually caged behind a wall. She was weak, possibly a decent wizard, but not on their level. God, never on their level. She couldn't even begin to compare herself to them. Her teammates were the very heart of Fairy Tail, she was staining their name. What was she thinking when she decided to join such a formidable guild without the proper training or experience? She was a fool, she'd endangered her life and cost the pain of her friends.

Then the whispers turned into screams, all those times she had failed to be supportive, all of those times she pushed those feelings and thoughts away. All bubbled to the surface. The humiliation she felt at being brutally beaten by the both Flare and Minerva in-front of every potent guild in Fiore. The times Natsu had risked himself for her, that was the way she had met him. Thanks to her lacking, he had come to her rescue without even knowing it. How many more times would that keep happening? What was it going to take for her to become someone they for once could depend on?

"Are you alright?"The cool feel of Erza's gauntlet over her bare shoulder jolting her out of her daze. "You're shaking.."Erza said pointedly, grasping her hand. "You're freezing. Really freezing, Natsu! I know you are outside!"

A squeak like a mouse and Natsu tumbled into the room. A faint blush covering his cheeks at having been discovered. "I didn't want to disturb you."

"And I'm glad you didn't."Erza nodded. "Hand me those blankets, and lay next to her. Her body is still recovering. Your blood loss was immense, hadn't Natsu arrived..well.."She paused seeing Natsu tense as he walked to the shelves where the blankets were. She cleared her throat and turned back to Lucy who was yet again being drawn back into the maze that was her mind. Natsu remained silent as he helped Lucy lay back down comfortably into the mattress, he draped the blanket over her quivering body.

"I'm sorry for not arriving sooner, Luce."He broke the thick silence that had taken up the room. Lucy looked up, she blinked rapidly, her bottom lip slightly jutting out as she reigned her tears back.

"This isn't your fault."She said hoarsely. A knot forming in her throat at voicing her thoughts. "I am a liability to my own team. I brought this upon myself, I couldn't protect myself because I am not strong enough."Her voice cracked, a piece of Natsu's heart with it. He decided he hated seeing her like this. Gray walked in, his jaw clenched, anger evident in his eyes.

"Do you really think we'd allow you to talk down on yourself like that? We chose you to stay in our team because we known what you are capable of. Whatever you can't make with physical strength you make up with this."He pokes at his temple a bit too hard, he was angry. He thought of her highly, a respectable female who had earned his trust. He would trust her with his life if it ever came to it and he cared for her beyond what she could comprehend.

She shook her head. "I have already made my decision."

"What decision?"They asked in unison, they looked at each other with a questioning look before turning back to face their blonde comrade.

"I will be leaving Fairy Tail."