Mr. Mom sung by Lonestar

Eugene walked into his house, anger clear on his face. Three of his kids zoomed past him as he headed towards the kitchen. Her blonde hair was tightly pulled in a bun onto of her head. She turned around, spotting her husband. "Hi, Eugene." She greeted.

"Rapunzel, I have to talk to you 'bout something." He started as the baby cried in the living room. Rapunzel nodded her head and wiped her hands on her pink apron.

"What?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips. Eugene rolled his eyes. She wouldn't be happy with this news.

"I lost my job. Sorry." He stated. She frowned and gave him a big hug. She pulled away, rising to her tiptoes then smacked her lips against his.

"That's too bad," she sighed, patting his cheek. "I can go back to work until you find another job."

Stay home until he finds a job? That sounded fabulous! He would get to watch TV all day. Not to mention taking naps whenever he pleased and eating junk food for dinner. He would go from a hard working dad to a Mr. Mom.

xxx
Monday morning came sooner than he planned. He woke up to three kids bouncing on his bed at 5:30. Rapunzel had already left for work and it was still dark outside. He groaned and got out of bed. Oh well, just a little bit earlier than he planned.

"No! Don't throw your cereal, Tobias!" Eugene shouted as the five year flung his cereal across the table. Two of the girls screamed, disgusted with his soggy cereal landing near them.

"Dad!" Danielle shouted, scrunching her nose. She was thirteen. She shouldn't have to deal with this. Tobias giggled as Eugene quickly chased after the naked three year old. "Rebecca! Get back here!"

Breakfast at six turned into World War 3. Eugene quickly rewinded Barney as he helped Sally get dressed. She might be eight, but he wasn't going to let her leave the house in her ballet outfit. "Dad! Josh can't find his shoes!"

"Josh, you are eleven years old. How can you lose your shoes?" He exclaimed as Sally quickly ran to the front door. Eventually, he gave up and let Sally wear a red shirt with pink overalls. What was the difference?

"Bus!" Josh shouted as the yellow school bus pulled up to the front door. Eugene sighed and stood by the doorway. He bent down, kissing each one of them on the head.

"Goodbye, Sally. Goodbye, Josh. Goodbye, Danielle." Eugene sighed as they ran out the front door. Danielle groaned and stormed out. Didn't Dad understand that she was too old for kisses?

He turned around, seeing the other three had already took over the house. Cries were heard in the living room as a loud crash came from the kitchen. Oh boy. Picking the kitchen, he found Tobias smashing the pots with wooden spoons. "Tobias, get out of here." He groaned as the child quickly ran to the living room, giggling like crazy.

He rewinded Barney for the 15th time and it wasn't even 8:30. "Don't you get sick of this, Rebecca?" He asked as the little girl happily sat on the couch. She shook her head and smiled.

Baby cries were heard from their bedroom. Charlotte was awake. Eugene groaned and went to grab the baby. She was surprised to see him, but didn't fuss. He placed her in high chair as he looked at the clock. Nine o'clock. Thank god. "Nap time!" He smiled.

Rebecca and Tobias struggled as Eugene put them to bed. God, why were they resisting? A nap sounded wonderful right now. After what felt like hours, the two finally went to sleep.

xxx
Well, he might as well start with the chores now that everything was calm. He picked up the grocery list, deciding to look at what he needed to buy. The list folded out into seven sheets. Oh boy.

Maybe start with the bills? He sat down beside Charlotte, working on trying to balance the checkbook. Before he could even finish, he got frustrated. Maybe work on paying the bills.

That was pointless. Laundry it was. He figured Rapunzel had sorted everything out for him, so he tossed everything into the wash. It was simpler and faster. It was only ten o'clock. Those kids would wake up soon.

He went to check on them. When he opened the door, he found out that the walls were covered in crayons. "What are you doing?" He gasped, running his hands through his hair.

"Painting the walls." Rebecca explained, acting like it was obvious. He quickly snatched the box and moved it up one drawer higher. Now they couldn't get to that. Maybe they should go get those groceries. That was a good idea.

xxx
That was an awful idea. Those kids were begging the whole time for food and candy. To shut them up, he bought them bubblegum. They seemed to be quieter, despite the loud smacking. "Watch me blow a bubble!" Tobias cheered as he blew a bubble in the back seat.

"Please. No more talking. Daddy needs a break." He mumbled as Rebecca and Tobias continued to blow bubbles. Today had been crazy. He should make them lunch. Maybe they would have another nap then.

They all sat in the living room, watching Barney for the 16th time. He took their plates, cleaning up. Maybe Rapunzel wouldn't notice the mess. He came back in, hoping to catch a little nap as they watched Barney. He sat down in his lazy chair to find out he sat in sweet potatoes. "Really?" He groaned.

He stood up, wiping himself off. When he looked down at the floor, he spotted his worst nightmare. Someone put bubblegum in the baby's hair! How was he going to get that out? Before he could even think, he quickly cut the pink gum out of her golden hair. That was okay, right?

xxx
"Dad! I have soccer practice in eight minutes!" Danielle shouted as she stood by the door. Today had been crazy. He quickly threw his cake in the oven. He would be back in time to take it out.

"Coming, coming." He explained as he grabbed the baby. Everyone headed out for the minivan. Danielle buckled in Charlotte as Eugene helped Rebecca in her car seat.

Quickly, he drove to the middle school to drop off Danielle for soccer. Then he dropped off Josh at the elementary school for football practice. Next stop, dropping Sally off at ballet. Afterwards, he had to drop Tobias at scouts. What was left? The PTA meeting!

xxx
He picked up all of the kids and entered the house. What was that burning smell? They entered the kitchen to see it filled with smoke. The cake! How much smoke could one stove make? Quickly, he pulled it out.

"Bon appetite!" Eugene declared as he tossed the charcoal cake on the table. All of the kids cried out in disgust, even the baby. None of them would even try his cake. Sure, it was black when it was supposed to be white, but it would still taste okay, right?

Everyone ate pizza in the living room as they watched Barney for the 18th time. Eugene's eyes were threatening to shut as the door opened. "Mom!" The kids cried as the ran to meet their mother.

"Hi!" Rapunzel smiled as she kissed every single one of her children. "How was your day with Daddy?" She asked as she picked up Rebecca. Immediately, they started whining about how awful it was.

xxx
As Rapunzel somehow got the children to bed peacefully, Eugene took the laundry out of the Maytag dryer. What was that? He pulled on something sticky that had melted inside. It was a Pampers diaper.

It had been crazy all day. Before he laid down in bed, something else had begun to bug him. Hopefully, Max, their dog, didn't get to the classified papers. Now that he thought of it, where were they? Better check one more time.

By the time he got back to bed, Rapunzel was already reading in bed. "How was your day?" He asked as he crawled in beside her.

"Perfect. Things were slow at work. How about your day?" She fired back, flipping a page in her book. Where would he begin?

"It's more than any man can take. I thought there would be nothin' to it, but I was wrong. I was wrong, wrong, wrong," He repeated as he laid down, staring at the ceiling. "Baby, now I know how you feel. I don't know how you do it."

"Lots of practice," She smiled. She kissed his lips then shut off her lamp, sending them into darkness. She covered herself in the blankets. "Goodnight, Mr. Mom." She teased.

"Goodnight, Blondie."

She softly giggled. "Just think, it's only Monday."

Eugene stared up at the ceiling. It was only Monday?

~~~~~~~~~~