Okay okay so Conspiracy Monster Falls AU

•I'm iffy on everyone else, but Dipper is 100% a siren. not a mermaidfied siren, but a good old-fashioned bird hybrid siren from Greek mythology. Everyone else's monster identities can be debated, but I am dead set on Dipper being a siren. I have never been so sure about anything in my entire life

-He doesn't like to constantly use his verbal magic, but he's not above using it to get his way in arguments

-Unfortunately for Dipper and his ego, Pacifica still has charms and spells to render his silver tongue useless against her

•Pacifica as a Hamadryad (a Greek type of dryad/nymph who is bonded to a certain type of tree)

- Of course, she's bonded to pine trees

- She spends a lot of her time hiding up in her trees, writing and daydreaming

•Mabel as a dream weaver

- She spends a lot of time in other people's heads instead of her own, creating pleasant dreams for them for when they fall asleep, especially for Dipper

- Her version of dream weaving is a lot like sewing, so she becomes a talented crocheter from her dream weaving

•Gideon as a ghost

- He has strong telekinesis powers, but has a bit of trouble using them

- Lowkey enjoys popping up out of nowhere and scaring people

•Wendy as a living, breathing human being

- For once, she's the one normal person in the group

- She helps out everyone with their needs that they're unable to do for themselves anymore. Wendy is awesome

•Robbie as a zombie

- Haha he finally gets a taste of his own medicine

- Hates being a zombie so so much. He can't play the guitar as well like this, and it bothers him to no end

•Candy as an adorable goth pixie

- She's even smaller than ever, and she hates it

- Her hair does gain naturally pink and blue streaks though, so she likes that

•Grenda as a skogsrå (a beautiful, tailed mythical woman  of the forest with the talent of getting boys to follow her wherever she wants)

- She isn't always able to control her tail, so sometimes it accidentally grabs on to stuff and she has to pry it loose

- Random boys follow her around until she finds a way to get them to go away. These ways include getting them lost in the woods, Candy flying in their faces and blinding them long enough for them to go away, or Mabel convincing Dipper using his powers to override Grenda's to get the boys to go away