I've been in the show biz for over ten years now, and it's hard to get rattled over performing in front of people. I've been passed over in favor of other girls, I've taken on fun/difficult roles that I received praise for by the end of it all, I've broken records for being the youngest to receive certain drama awards, and I've been rejected. Usually, nothing fazes me.

But the audition that I'm going to on Saturday. That. That fazes me.

A few months ago, one of the many local community theatres announced their 2018 season, including The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I was thrilled. I wanted to audition so so sooo badly, but upon reviewing the dates, I realized that there would most definitely be some conflicts with rehearsals. I gave up hope on auditioning for it, but comforted myself by the idea of going to go see it opening night.

Fast forward to a few months later. It was lunchtime at school, and per usual, I was eating with my friends in the choir room. This was the incident that I talked about in this book a while back ago about how when I heard the Hunchback theme music coming from the choir director's office, I immediately took off running in heels and jumped over two boys to go listen. (I know I know, I'm Catwoman.) When I had reached his office and threw open the door, I informed the director that I was summoned by the sound of my all-time favorite musical and wanted to listen too. He let me.

The next day in the middle of warm-ups, the choir director vaguely mentioned that he'd like to see me in his office after rehearsal. Cue mental freak-outs and non-stop inner ramblings to figure out what I did wrong. After rehearsal, I followed him to his office, where he informed me that he had just accepted the job as the vocal director/choir director for Hunchback. I fangirled for a minute before he continued on, telling that the production is a big deal, since it will be the first time The Hunchback of Notre Dame will be put on not only in the entire state, but in the entire region, extending out beyond the surrounding states. So yeah, big deal.

He then told me that he would like me to audition.

(My brain: aSDFGHJKLDNKNIONSEPOF-)

After talking to my parents and comparing rehearsal schedules with my choir director, it's official; I'm trying out for Hunchback! Auditions are on Saturday, and I strategically selected "Colors of the Wind" for my song since A) it's an Alan Menken song and in the same style as Hunchback music, B) it shares a theme from Hunchback, and C) it's from my choir director's favorite Disney movie.

I'm usually not freaked out about auditions at all. I mean, what happens happens, right? But this is my favorite musical of all times, and I seriously want to make it in. The show is ages 14 and up, so obviously the majority of the cast is going to be adults. I seriously doubt that I even have a chance of being cast of Esmeralda, but I don't care what role I get as long as I'm in the show itself.

I lowkey get the feeling that my choir director wants me in the choir, which I would be perfectly fine with, but in all honestly, I'd pick the ensemble over choir since they get all of the cool costumes and get to dance. But once again, I don't care as long as I get in.

I just so desperately want to be a part of this show, but with this certain director who has a history of preferring adults over teenagers at the helm and a lack of parts specifically for teens, there's a big chance that I won't be casted, and that scares me. The more I think about it, the more anxious I get. But I know that whatever happens, it's going to be an amazing show, and that's all that matters in the end, isn't it?

(I also have another audition for the school musical coming up. We're doing Grease, and I'm not worried about it. I'm pretty sure that I'll be auditioning with "My Strongest Suit" from Aida, which I know for a fact that I nail, based on you guys' comments on the chapter where I posted that recording of me XD That's going to be the easy audition.)