time is passing
and i know you are fading.

i know.

the truth fills my chest, cornering me in the alleys; its shadow suffocates me, and i melt in its grasp.

i cannot write
my fingers search for a final message to say, for something, anything my numb mind can concoct; i don't know what i say. i press 'send' anyways.

you never respond.
do you fear it will be your last?

death.

i never thought its hands could strike your fate, your gentle smile, those soft hazel eyes. you always have been strong. please, don't falter.

hold on a bit longer.

let me know you are okay.

but no response appears hours as hours pass by. i sit, ankle thumping the floorboards of the vehicle. the breeze howls, and blurs of grey rustle against the windows.

rain falls.

ever briefly, my mind blanks.

the world turns, and the heavens shed their cries. as cold pinpricks my skin, the emptiness cascades from my heart, and i am filled with peace.

rain falls.

i see your eyes, i hear your laughter in the breeze.

rain falls.

i wish to see you again, even just once more.

rain falls.

i press my palm to the window and remember your own faded truck of white, in which i proudly claimed my seat next to you.

rain falls.

i remember our last encounter—

i should have held you longer. i should have reveled in your soft hold, in your warm skin and wrinkled hands.

rain falls.

I love you.

rain falls.

please, let me know. let me know you're okay. i silently cry to God, begging him to take me, not you.

please, i beg.

she's weak too.

rain falls.

i curse the heavens.

don't take her from me too, God. you can't take them both.

please.

please...

rain falls.

i want to laugh again. i want to sit beside you. i want to plant our toes in the sand as the crystal waves bathe our ankles. i want to tuck into the corner of your house, laughing as you try to catch me. i remember. i remember. i'll never forget.

rain falls.

i can't reach you. i can't reach you.

mother never cries. her shoulders stand so bold, but her heart crumbles when she sees you. we cannot reach you. they won't allow us.

rain falls.

my eyes burn, and i cannot breathe. this pain grasps my throat, and i claw into an unreachable abyss.

i love you. i love you so much. thank you for being a part of my life. thank you for sharing your love. thank you for being my light. thank you for everything.

my vision blurs and

rain falls.