Huge A/N at the end explaining my absence

CurlyCue17-Oh my gosh, I really REALLY hope I didn't butcher your OC! I tried my best to give her the type of personality I thought you would give her, so please don't hate me! But man this was fun to write. I hope y'all liked it as much as I did writing it!

"And here we have 27-year-old Savannah Williams, she sustained blunt force trauma to about fourteen places on her body from head to toe. Literally."

Claire Kleiner, twenty-five and bursting with energy, came rushing into the conference room out of breath and haphazardly put together. She might as well have just rolled out of bed from how she felt her loose dark blonde hairs tickle her neck and cheeks.

Penelope was finishing up on a case briefing but paused when she saw her hot mess of a friend. "Oh good, you're not dead."

Everyone looked at Claire, making the woman blush and hurry to a seat, sitting down with a huff and shy smile. "Sorry. I-I kinda just lost track of time." She tried not to look at Spencer who she so happened to sit next to, his scent already making her cheeks flush warmer.

"You look all out of sorts," Spencer commented softly, a small smile tugging at his lips making Claire roll her eyes to hide the fact she really hated herself for looking like this in front of him, not only in front of all her co-workers.

Rossi smiled warmly. "It's nice to see the one who's most put together all out of sorts for a change."

"Yes, but I'd prefer everyone were here, on time," Hotch stated with a raised brow.

Claire nodded. "Yes sir, it won't happen again. Promise."

JJ snorted. "Don't tell me you started taking up lying as well as tardiness."

Morgan shook his head, taking a pen out of his mouth that he was chewing on. "Don't blame her, she's just flustered by the fact Boy Genious has seen her in her natural state."

The bald agent grunted and nearly fell off his chair in order to dodge the flying binder and its murderous files tucked inside. Rossi laughed and JJ smiled. Hotch rolled his eyes but Claire didn't miss the slight crinkle at their edges as he called for them to get back to the briefing.

But before Claire could get herself all caught up on the case once Morgan gave her back her files, Spencer leaned over and whispered only for her to hear.

"Did you forget to set your alarm?"

Claire shook her head, glancing at his chocolate eyes, almost regretting it immediately when she couldn't look away. "I set it but my music was too high. I got lost again."

Spencer bit back a smile, his eyes bright with mirth. "I wonder what it's like to get lost in something you love."

"Don't you love this?" Claire gestured to the area around her and the rest of the team, her brows furrowed and her voice low. "You can be anything and you chose this."

Spencer nodded as he reached forward and gently pulled her loose shirt over her shoulder, hiding her black leotard underneath. "I do love it. Somethings more than others, obviously. But I have never truly gotten so absorbed in it that I've gotten "lost" and had been happy about it."

Claire stared at her friend and tried to ignore the tingling where his fingers had touched her skin, her mind working a mile a minute. "Spencer, are you unhappy?"

Spencer didn't get to answer her as the team finished up and got ready to head out. Seeing as she hadn't listened to a word that was said about the case, she gathered her things and rushed out to catch up on the plane. But she looked back at the young Dr. and frowned. She had been so lost in her own dreams and hobbies that she had nearly forgotten that there was someone else struggling with the feelings of happiness, or the lack thereof in this case.

Shaking her head, Claire rushed to a bathroom, tidied up, and grabbed her to-go bag, meeting everyone on the jet.

However, though she may be worried about Spencer, there was another thing on her mind and it was currently burning a hole in her bag. An official-looking letter just arrived and she knew now wasn't the time to open it, no matter how much her brain justified her reasons. She was at work and her hobby of dancing can wait until after hours.

Claire sat down and placed her bag at her feet, careful not to crush it and in turn crushing the letter. Spencer sat across from her and smiled before turning to a book in his hands. A waft of wine and a light hint of cigar filled her scenes as Rossi sat beside her.

"So, who were you dancing to this morning that made you look like a distressed nanny of twelve kids?"

Claire winced. "That bad, huh?"

Rossie shrugged. "More or less. But honestly, what had you so enthralled?"

Claire bit her lip as she decided what to say, her mind trying really hard not to imagine the large envelope at the bottom of her bag at her feet. When she had gotten the letter that morning before dance practice, Claire thought it was another rejection letter, but this one felt different. It was heavier and the scrip on the front looked like it was quite real. She had decided to get her excitement out by dancing to Sonata in D major, a big and unfaltering smile plastered to her lips, her cheeks aching already.

She glanced at Spencer before speaking, slightly surprised to see his eyes already on her, his gaze near eager.

"Oh, you know me," Claire shrugged, giving the man a hasty glance and indifferent smile, "Just stumbled across something and had to express what I felt somehow."

Rossi laughed, patting Claire on the knee like a father would to a young child when they knew exactly what the truth was, though they may not have said it. "Perhaps you should start dancing at the BAU. I'm sure we can set up a dance room for you, that way you can dance to your heart's content and not be late."

"Or I'll never leave to go home. Ever." Claire laughed nervously shaking her head.

This case was going to be a long one.

~~~~~

Spencer kept an eye on Claire for the whole case, his mind drifting to her even when he tried to stay focused on the case. Several times he was called back to the case by either Hotch or Rossi, though they too were keeping tabs on Claire.

She had changed out of her practice clothes and wore something more work appropriate. She had worn the leotard he had given her as a birthday gift just a few months before. Spencer felt touched that she was actually using it, sure she had several others that were broken in and more comfortable.

In fact, he had been feeling...things for her for a while now. But it wasn't until recently, seeing her all flustered and clearly worried about something in her bag that Spencer knew these feelings for her were not fleeting.

Spencer watched as she kept her bag with you throughout the whole case, her eyes flickering to it, or her hand guarding it subconsciously. There was clearly something in there that was distracting her. However, whenever Spencer was around her, she would keep her focus on him and do her best to either make him laugh or smile. Anything to keep his mood and spirits high.

Claire's sapphire blue eyes shown with clear adoration, contradicting the slight lines of worry that creased her brow from time to time as they worked closely together. Spencer was touched, moved even, that despite whatever it was that was taking over her mind, Claire

One night, as the rest of the crew was starting to wind down, the unsub just at their fingertips but sleep was necessary to keep them from an early grave. However Spencer was hardly tired and Claire was off in one of the ballrooms of the hotel, dancing to help her mind think.

Spencer was done sitting by himself going over the same facts over and over again in his mind. So he made the executive decision to go and find Claire, if for nothing more than to see her smiling face. Spencer had come to realize during this case that he quite preferred being in her company, even if the two of them never talked. Just being in the same room as her or knowing he was around made him feel...safe, comfortable, and tethered to reality.

Leaving one of the conference rooms, Spencer followed the faint sounds of piano until he came to one of the ballrooms like she said she would be in. The door was opened ever so slightly, making it easy for him to watch her dance.

The music was light and well paced. Spencer leaned in closer and folded his arms as a small smile pulled on his lips. He absolutely loved watching Claire dance. She was so fluid, so gentle, so strong. He could see her body and ever muscle and what control she had over every part of herself. She spun, lept, sashayed, plied, did several pirouettes, and threw in a grande jete here and here.

Spencer could not mistake the look of happiness on her face, despite her hair being everywhere but in her bun. Her dance shoes looked well-loved as well as the pink tights littered with holes. but she wore his leotard. Her arms moved about like soft waves as her legs stood strong and sturdy, ending her around the room in perfect timing with the music.

Soon she came twirling around to the door Spencer was guiltily spying behind. Spencer was about to show himself when he noticed as she grew closer, tears glinted in her eyes, her cheeks streaked with wet. That gave the young doctor pause. He watched as her arms began to droop and her legs faltered underneath her. He was about to enter the room and reach out and grab her before she fell but just as the song was beginning to end, Claire lifted her chin and finished the song with strong and sure movements.

But the moment the song ended she collapsed to the ground, her hand in her hands and her chest heaving from either breathing hard or tears. Perhaps even both. Spencer then decided it was time to show his face, his eagerness to help Claire overruling his need to keep his presence a secret.

~~~~~~

Happy. I should be happy, shouldn't I?

Claire sniffed and wiped her cheeks as she started to stand. But warm hands secured her under her arms pulling her up with ease. She would have screamed and lashed out had she not noticed the feel of his hands and the smell of coffee and wool surround her.

"Spencer," Claire whispered as she turned, Spencer's hands dropping from where he held her.

Spencer looked worried but blinked it away with a kind smile and soft eyes. "Claire."

Claire smiled shyly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be gone for so long." She brushed hair out of her face and rubbed the back of her neck, looking anywhere but at him. "I got carried away."

Truth was, had Spencer not come when he did, Claire would have gotten back up and danced the rest of the night just to keep her mind from sitting still and overthinking things. after hours of exhausting herself, she would colaps on the ground in a heap and sleep for eternity. She would never have to face the choices that now plagued her mind.

Alas, dancing was what cleared her mind the most, no matter how loudly she counted or how determined she was to perfect her movements.

Claire had opened the letter that had been weighing down her bag for the past three days.

And she couldn't take it any longer. So she gave in.

But not without the consequence of losing her sanity.

Perhaps Claire was overreacting but one would be hard not to when they learned simultaneously that their mind and their heart did not want the same thing...

Spencer stepped forward and shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I hope your dancing helped you, though I couldn't help but notice your tears."

Claire took a shaky breath, nodding. "Ah, yes. A knee-jerk reaction to overwhelming feelings."

Claire looked up to see Spencer trying to piece together what it was she was saying. But given his slightly perplexed look on his face and his mouth moving, unsure what to say, she knew she was being too vague, even for the mastermind of the team. She turned back to the mirror and shook her head, waving her hand in the direction of her bag.

"Go on. You can read it. It's sitting just on top."

Claire watched Spencer's reflection in the mirror as he picked up the large envelope had caused her so much grief. It shrank in his large hands but she didn't take her eyes off his face as he read what was inside it.

All her emotions came rushing back, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to keep them under control as he read.

Spencer was such an amazing man. He had helped her get used to the work at the BAU and helped her schedule her dancing around the hectic hours. He had pulled strings with friends and friends of friends to keep various studios open at odd times so that Claire would have some time to dance. She was even able to keep a part-time class for a while, making some money on the side that she used to take Spencer with her to Paris for two weeks.

Penelope called it an extended date. You professed that you only saw him as a brother-like figure.

It was during that trip that Claire learned she, in fact, did NOT see Spencer as a brother.

The two of them were going on a tour through an old part of town when a scrappy kid stole Claire's bag. without hesitation, she and Spencer ran after the child. It took longer than they thought, but Spencer cornered him. But instead of getting mad and yelling and calling the authorities like the kid thought we would, Spencer knelt down and spoke to him in his native language.

They spoke back and forth for a bit and to this day Claire had no idea what Spencer said to the boy. However, he gave Claire her bag back and then, for the rest of the day, her and Spencer followed this child as he showed them places that Claire was positive not many tourists got to see.

Before they got back to the hotel, Claire had to go do something. To her surprise, Spencer had plans of his own. And Claire was sure it wasn't trying out for a ballet program in the heart of France. But she didn't question him. She trusted him, whatever it was he was doing.

That night they met back at the hotel and neither of them spoke of their evening plans. But being away from him was hard for Claire. She found herself anxious until she saw him. Looking back, Claire found herself blushing at how clingy she was as she imposed herself in his hotel room, saying she would sleep on the couch but woke up on the other side of his bed, a problem for some perhaps but she saw it as the complete opposite of a problem.

And that was the problem...

Claire shook her head and brought herself back to reality. She looked at Spencer though the mirror, his head still bowed over the paper as his eyes moved slowly. Odd.

"There you have it. The reason I was late the day we got on the jet. Why I have not been myself lately," Claire let out a breath.

Spencer didn't say anything as he flipped to the next page, his eyes still moving slowly across the page.

Claire turned to look at him, taking steps up to him, her point shoes clicking on the wooden floor. "What do you think?" She asked quietly, not able to bring her voice any higher, "should I take it?"

Spencer looked up from the paper and Claire's heart leapt at the emotion in his gaze. After a few heartbeats, he answered, his hands closing the pamphlet and handing it back to her.

"Yes. You should go. You would benefit more from this opportunity than anyone else ever could."

Claire took the pamphlet but raised a brow. She may be a dancer but she was a profiler first. "You hesitated."

Spencer cleared his throat and licked his lips. "Why are you asking me? This is what you have always wanted, hasn't it? You've gotten lost dancing and you are extremely good at it. Why would you not take advantage of this amazing opportunity to do what you love?"

Claire let out a breath and let her hand with the pamphlet drop to her side, her eyes having a hard time staying on Spencer's face. "Maybe I love more than one thing."

Spencer took a step forward, reaching up to touch Claire's shoulder but stopped, letting his hand drop. "You are a wonderful agent as well. But I don't see you light up the way you do when you dance when you are looking at case files."

Claire couldn't help but laugh. "I don't see anyone jumping up and down when we get a new case."

Spencer smiled weakly. "Perhaps. But I don't want you to feel obligated to stay when you could have so much-"

Whitout thinking much, Claire reached up and placed a finger to his lips. "Sperner stop. I'm torn. I want to dance for the rest of my life but I don't want to leave the BAU. Not if that means laving the people I love."

Spencer reached up and gently took Claire's hand away from his mouth and held it in his hands. "You know the team loves you just as much."

The young dancer took a deep breath as she let her self-look at Spencer. Truly look at him. with her hand in his she thought back to Paris again and that little boy and how Spencer treated him. How gentle and kind he was. Claire looked into spwnver's eyes and whispered.

"What was it you said to that boy in Paris two years ago?"

Spener blinked from the sudden change in topic but adapted quickly. A corner of his lips lifted as he spoke, his voice low as well. "You know French, you tell me."

Claire rolled her eyes. "I didn't know it then and I don't remember what it was you two said to each other."

Spencer nodded, his smile still in place. "I asked him why he took your bag. His mother was sick and needed a doctor but they didn't have the money for it. Your bag was the first he had ever stolen from anyone. He was sorry."

Then the mystery of where Spencer went that night clicked. "Then you went and helped his mother, didn't you?"

"While you were busy applying for the dancing opportunity."

"You knew I was doing that?"

"Yes, but I didn't think this would happen so suddenly. "Now it was Spencer's turn to look away as he spoke. "I'm not sure how much help I was to that boy's mother, but I liked the feeling of being needed, of having a skill that only I could perform, to know what to do."

Claire reached up with her other hand, dropping the pamphlet on the ground, the papers scattering as she gently moved Spener's face to her own. "You save lives all the time Spener. Never doubt your importance."

Spencer's eyes weren't filled with sorrow that Claire assumed they would be. Instead, they were filled with mirth. "I know. But there is one person, in particular, I wish to be there for."

Claire closed her eyes and let her head drop, leaning against Spencer's chest. "You aren't making this choice any easier Spence..."

Spener moved and lightly draped his arms around Claire, gently hugging her to him. "You should go. You will be happier," He whispered into the room, his words filling her heart and her ears, drowning out her heavily beating heart.

"But I will be happier with you," Claire whispered in return.

Claire felt Spencer's chest shake with a quiet laugh. The young woman groaned, ready to pull out of his arms, not at all able to handle being laughed at. But Spencer didn't let her move. So Claire was tuck in his arms as he leaned his head down to whisper in her ear.

"I may or may not have found a Behavior Analysis seminar coarse teaching in Paris starting this fall. I was thinking I might-"

Claire's lips were pressed against his before he could finish his sentice. Spencer smiled into the kiss, slightly pushed back by the force of Claire pressing herself against him. He kissed her back, strong then ever so gently.

"You had this planned didn't you," Claire said breathlessly as she pulled away, but only enough to glare at him.

"Maybe," Spencer smiled.

Claire's glare turned into excitement as she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. Spencer reciprocated, his arms catching her, his chest bubbling up with laughter.

Spencer could not stop smiling as they kissed, his mind working a thousand miles a minute. "I know a place...we can stay...close to your studio...and my classes," Spener spoke between kisses, "we can...get you a...pastel bike...with a cute...basket and...wide handlebars."

Claire giggled as she tried to kiss his moving lips. "I would love to hear your ideas but please," she stood up on her point shoes and pulled him by his shirt down to her face, "shut up and kiss me."

And he did. This time the kiss was longer and full of promise and emotion that made his heart leap and Claire wish she had wings. Spener held her face almost reverently in his hands as thier lips molded perfectly together. Sadly they needed to breathe, but they only pared enough to stop their lungs from screaming, though it was Claire's mind that was screaming of pure happiness.

Spencer looked down at Claire's messy hair, happy, tear-filled, blue eyes, and sweet smile. The case forgotten, the stress of his personal life squelched, his needs fulfilled. He would have been perfectly content to never leave that ballroom again. His thumbs stroked Claire's cheeks, making her smile widen. It was amazing to see such perfection when he had grown up all his life believing there was no such thing as perfection in anything.

So this must be what it is like to be lost in something, He thought as he reached up and stroked some of her hair behind her ear, leaning down to kiss her nose ever so softly.

"Je t'aime, Claire Kleiner," he stated with a matter-of-fact smile.

Claire smiled back, her heart full and her future made. "And I love you, Spencer Ried."

(I hope this longer chapter appeases you all for my absence...)

First off, I'M NOT DEAD! yay. And yes, I will be updating this book still, I'm not done, promise. but...Ok, guys...here's the thing...Life right now sucks. Like, really really badly. I wish I could be more positive about it but there really isn't a way around it. I am a poor young adult just trying to make her way in the world and I'm getting bullied by my boss...so I quit. with what little money I have now I will be trying to go BACK to school. College. No flight attendant school for me...I have been denied by all of them. So, now, I have to pay my own way for school, my family unable to help with my dad laid off and my mom on an Oklahoma teacher salary (look it up, it sucks especially since she will be providing for our whole family of 6 on that...).

So...That being said, I made a Ko-Fi account for "donations" of a sort...idk, I'm literally scraping the bottom of the idea barrel. I have applied for loads of jobs but I won't know for several weeks, sadly everything takes time and money. I will be selling some of my clothes and jewelry, possibly books...(not saying this to get attention and pity, just letting y'all know as well as venting because I have no one else to tell). So these $3 donations will go towards my bills and gas. I promise I won't be using it "just for fun" I hardly have time for that anyways. Heck, even just getting sweet comments and messages from you guys keeps me going. You don't have to donate if you don't want to, just thought I'd put the offer out there. Thank you for sticking with me and for appreciating my work when no one else would ;) I LOVE YOU!!!! (the link to my Ko-Fi is on my profile ;) and I promise I won't bring this up all the time, just a reminder here and there)