117 ⸸

Later on that day, the police found Namjoon lying down next to Seokjin's grave. They suggested that he should go home, and the doctor did so, yet he didn't want to leave at all.

But in order to avoid getting asked about the incident by anyone there, he preferred to just leave before being spotted. A policeman was kind enough to drive him home, without asking him anything.

The only thing that the policeman had asked the doctor was if he wanted to go to the hospital, to which Namjoon shook his head saying "No, sir. I'm okay." When he really wasn't.

Even the word "Sir" reminded him of Seokjin, making the ride back to his own apartment more and more painful.

The policeman drove off as soon as Namjoon entered his house. He wanted to make sure that the doctor got home safely and that nothing else happened to him.

He knew how much Namjoon had been through already. The doctor sighed, deeply. His sigh traveled to his chest, making it harder for him to breathe. He turned the doorknob, and the policeman drove off. When he entered the house, a tidal wave of sadness washed over him.

Seeing the apartment was an immediate setback for Namjoon, and the further he walked into it, the memories would flood up in his head, making him feel empty inside.

He found Seokjin's clothes everywhere. His scent of the last cologne he wore still lingered all around the house, especially the room.

The room that he and the doctor first slept in, first became roomates, and first made love.

Namjoon was so worn out, he barely had the energy to cry. All that was coming out of the doctor was a silent cry. He couldn't talk at all because of how loud he called out Seokjin's name, hoping to find him, all of that screaming made Namjoon lose half of his voice.

"I wish I never woke up. I wish I would have held onto him tighter last night." He headed back down and entered the bathroom.

It was cold. Namjoon removed his clothes and goosebumps immediately covered his body from head to toe.

He stepped into the shower. Just when he thought he was done, that nothing was left in him, and that he was completely powerless, he slid down to the floor of the tub when his vision became foggy.

And just like that, the man found himself crying another endless river of pain, unable to accept the loss of his lover. He refused to believe that Seokjin was dead.

"He's still alive. He's still with me..." Namjoon's voice was broken, making up sentences that not even he himself would believe. Lying to himself was like a numbing cream to ease the pain within his broken heart, but his memories wouldn't allow him to fully heal.

Seokjin took everything from the doctor, without taking a single item away from him.

The only thing Seokjin physically took from Namjoon was his heart. Namjoon himself felt
as if his heart had been forcefully ripped out of his chest, and that nothing but a huge gaping hole was left pouring with blood.

Blood that drained from his body, along with the rest of his soul.

He watched as the water was filling up to his ankles from the lack of draining within the tub. The tub was blocked by a build up of soap. There were bits of soap and some pieces of his sponges had traveled down to the tub, clogging up his pipes.

The time he spent inside of the shower was endless, and before he knew it, the tub was nearly overflowing from how full it had gotten.

Namjoon turned the faucet off, yet he stayed in the shower. He stopped, thinking to himself for a few minutes. Dark thoughts occupied his head now, encouraging him to do bad things to himself.

His hands were numb and his body was cold to the touch due to the freezing bathwater he was standing in.

With the memories eating him up from the inside, the doctor sat down in the tub. The water overflowed much more and spilled out onto the floor.

He took one last breath, then sank to the bottom. His oxygen was cut off in under five minutes, yet Namjoon remained underneath the water, struggling to breathe.

What is truly sad, is the fact that the man didn't feel a difference in between his breath shortening underwater, to when he found Seokjin's name and obituary written on his tombstone.

And what was killing him now, was making him feel alive on the inside. The air supply in him was decreasing rapidly, and the doctor knew that he had little to no time left before he would completely vanish and leave the world without a trace.

Time slowed down and Namjoon's vision became blurry until he could no longer see anything at all. He was desperate to breathe, kicking the tub but refusing to get up.

The small amount of energy left inside of him had worn out, leaving him with no motivation to continue kicking.

Meaning he had no motivation to keep fighting to live. He was ready to accept his fate.

His lungs were giving out, about to collapse.

Something saved the man's life when he noticed a bright orb float above the water.

The orb did more than just float, it also spoke. With just one word, Namjoon rose from the bathtub, avoiding death once more.

"Seokjin." He repeated the word that the mysterious floating orb had blurted out. Namjoon's body was freezing while he coughed from the lack of oxygen.

The doctor put his clothes back on, still soaked from the bath water. He ran out of the bathroom and followed the orb.

The orb flew out of the bathroom and upstairs to the hallway. Namjoon watched as it disappeared into his bedroom.

He opened the door again and the orb had grown bigger and brighter. When the doctor approached it, the orb was no longer an unknown voice to him, it was a voice he was very familiar with.

A soft and mysterious voice that he was suffering over.

A dark voice that nearly caused Namjoon his own death.

"Dr. Kim, I'm still here!"

The orb transformed into a person, right before Namjoon's eyes.

Namjoon's eyes reddened as the person was familiar to him. That person was Seokjin, the man Namjoon thought was dead.

The vampire was standing right in front of him.

He ran towards the vampire only to have him disappear.

"Dr. Kim, I'm still here." The same words again, but Seokjin was out of sight now. He looked around him everywhere, feeling desperate and confused.

"Namjoon, open your eyes!!" Namjoon felt his body jump very high to the sound of his name being called.

He opened his eyes and found Seokjin crying.

"Don't scare me this way again! I thought you were-" Seokjin couldn't finish his sentence as Namjoon silenced his lips with his own, while holding onto his body.

"Seokjin." Namjoon was crying like never before. "Seokjin, you're alive! And I'm still here in the mansion!" Seokjin nodded.

"You wouldn't wake up at all, and you were crying continuously. Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

The doctor shook his head, his heart pounding out of his chest as he looked at Seokjin.

"It was a nightmare. That's all, Seokjin... Just hold me." The vampire wrapped his arms around Namjoon's back, pulling the doctor closely.

"What happened in your nightmare?" He asked, after making sure that the doctor was okay.

The other sighed in response, still shaken up. Seokjin could tell that Namjoon didn't feel like responding to that question when his eyes began tearing up. Of course, he didn't cry in front of the vampire, yet Seokjin knew.

Knowing the way Namjoon was feeling, the vampire caressed his face, kissing him gently.

"It's okay now, you're okay-" He was startled by the way Namjoon got up.

"No, Seokjin. It's not okay." Namjoon said, pacing around the dark mansion.

"It's never going to be okay. I can't live in a world knowing you're with me one day then gone the next." Seokjin had mentioned Namjoon's name while he was caught up talking, yet the doctor didn't listen the first time.

"Namjoon, listen to me!" The vampire spoke up, finally gathering up Namjoon's attention.

He got up, dragging the silky bedsheets with him to cover up his still naked body.

"Nightmares come and go, sir. But not I. I will never leave your side." His lips were close to Namjoon's face. The light of the morning sun was shining at the mansion and their shadows were visible, but not for long.

Once the sun exposed itself, the vampires hid away. In the middle of hiding away from the sunlight, there was one important detain the two men forgot: Their clothing.

Namjoon went back into the room and grabbed his and Seokjin's clothes, then retreated back downstairs. The reason they had to evacuate the room was due to the fact that the windows were all glass with no curtains and the sun was shining directly onto their face and bodies.

"I wonder what's in this room." Before putting their clothes on, the two wanted to find a restroom to wash up. Seokjin became curious as to what was in one door while Namjoon was too busy admiring the walls of the living room which contained lots of artistical paintings.

What was behind the door Seokjin had just opened was a bathroom. The vampire went inside without telling Namjoon, as his lover was distracted by the artwork in the living room. He didn't want to take his inspiration away, after all, he knew how passionate Namjoon was for most things.

Especially art. Therefore, he left the doctor on his own and entered the shower when he figured out how to use it.

"Ah..." The water burned his cold body at first, so he switched it to cold. When he turned around, he saw that the pressure of the showerhead was different to Namjoon's.

It reminded him of something else.

~flashback~

Seokjin was lying on his back, inside of the cage they kept him locked in, up until he heard someone input the code to open the door to his room.

Although it felt more like a jail cell to the young boy, since he's been staying here for days
now.

"It's shower time for our special patient." One of the nurses spoke, standing outside of the door as another opened his cage.

He weakly walked towards them. His body was sedated most of the time to ensure that he wouldn't attack any of the people there.

"Get in!"

"Don't hurt me, please! N-not again!" His fear would often make the poor boy crouch down in a corner and cry, yet the cold-hearted nurses couldn't care less about his feelings, so they forced him inside of an old, creepy looking shower.

When they turned the water on, it was freezing. Seokjin's bones were too weak to handle such cold temperatures in water, still, he had to endure it if not then something much worse would happen to him.

The nurses closed the shower sliding door, and left Seokjin inside.

"Shower yourself thoroughly, or else we'll keep you in there. Do you understand?" He tried answering to the woman, but he could barely talk. His teeth were chattering so much, he felt pain in his jaw.

"I-i-it's cold. It's so cold." And that would continue on in his life every day at a certain time. At least until the nurses completely forgot about him and only used him for experiments and blood tests.

Seokjin still remembers how much pain would shoot through his body as the very strong pressure of the showerhead broke through his paper thin skin, leaving him with bruises all over his body.

~end of flashback~

"Dr. Kim, what happened to me?" When Seokjin's flashback was over, he found himself in
Namjoon's arms. The doctor was carrying him, wrapped up in a towel.

"Are you alright? Seokjin, you just fainted in the shower."

"I'm okay." The man lied to himself. He closed his eyes, unable to erase his painful memories.

Namjoon lay Seokjin's body on one of the couches.

"You're crying."

Without realizing it, tears were running down Seokjin's face.

"I'm not okay, Namjoon."

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