She touches my hand as we're laying there. Her dark eyes are focusing the stars above us and suddenly the expression in her face changes. There's a deep pain in her eyes. Her lips begin to  shake as she closes the eyes and squeezes my hand tightly.

"I don't want this moment to stop", she whispers.

I pull her closer and she lays her head against my chest. Carefully I brush her hair out of her face and mumble into her ear. "Why?"

"I'm scared. I know we are not supposed to be forever and I-"

"Wait what?" I'm looking down on her, frightened, but her eyes are still closed. When her lips wouldn't be shaking again, I would have believed she fell asleep.

"I... I heard you talking to your sister. You said that you can't do this anymore and I won't get in your way. I know our time has come and I'm ready to let you go." She's trying to keep her voice strong but I hear the tremor in it.

And I'm shocked. I can't believe that she really thinks I'm going to leave her. "Open your eyes and look at me, Lainey." She releases the grip on my hand and looks into my eyes. I see the tears and it's breaking my heart. But why does she have to dream up such a rubbish? "I wasn't talking about our relationship. Well alright I was in a way but I never talked about breaking up with you. Lainey, I love you."

"But I heard you." Suddenly she seems to be insecure. "You said..."

"Yes, I said that I can't do this anymore but I was talking about the distance."
It's obvious that she's totally confused but in a way it's kind of good because the surprise will be even bigger. "You're the best that has ever happened to me, Lainey. I think, without you I would still be sitting on that dirty street dealing with this bullshit. You saved me. You really did. And I can't describe how thankful I'm that you stopped and that you were willing to help me, a total jerk. And every day, every hour and every minute we spent together I fell for you, I still do. You are like an angel God sent to me to finally give my life a sense. I know I don't deserve you but I'm too selfish to ever let you go. You're the love of my life, Lainey, and I hate that I can't see you as often as I want to. I can't do this anymore that's why I was looking for an apartment in Sydney. I want to be near you."

Lainey looks up to me with wide eyes, surprise and disbelief reflecting in her face. "You... Are you serious?" I nod, smiling. She looks at me for another moment but then suddenly she puts her arms around me and starts crying. "I love you so much", she whispers and then we kiss like it would be our last day.

-09.04.17